Aaargh Imagine if ALL insects became 5 times larger overnight??

I don't often have nightmares but this was a complete FUCKER. Shudder.

I knew before I even went to sleep last night that I'd have insect dreams.

No, the bush tucker trial where they eat the insects (Jilly Goolden and Carol Thatcher) on tonight.

As for influencing my dreams, erm I dreamt I was in big brother?!?!

To be honest, eating beasties would be the only trial I couldn't attempt. One of my uncles shamefully admits to crawling behind my gran as a young nipper, eating the slugs she had just salted in the garden. She turned round to see him grinning at her through a mouthful of stringy yellow cheese like mucus.

Even remembering that story now makes my bile rise....

*I am not a biologist but I don't think this is too far off.

Work with me here!!!

I could've done with one of these last night. hoho.

http://www.up.ac.za/academic/zoology/2003/doc/crickets.html

They crawl into bed with you! They spray poo at you when you threaten them (seriously)! And they're already impossible to kill (I tried bug spray, whacking them with brooms, dropping things on them -- can anyone say 'hard exoskeleton'? The only way I ever managed it was to bung a bucket over them and wait the three days until they stopped hissing underneath the bucket and died)!

If these things were five times larger, I would DIE.

Insects don't really freak me out too much, I greatly dislike midges and mosquitos but for sheer freak factor it's got to be bluebottles.

I was at a friends housewarming party once and every few minutes a large dozy bluebottle would come out of her fireplace and buzz around the room. Then another one, and another. All the hairs on the back of my neck prickled - bluebottles have always giving me the creeps.

She grabbed a broom and went to the fireplace and started poking up the flue. Next minute - Boomf - the remains of a seagull crashed down along with millions of huge horrid bluebottles.

I left.

I agree, I HATE those things; sheer nastiness. Hopefully they went away when the dead seagull went away...?

I didn't see this last night, but I did see the bushtucker trial, and subsequently dreamt about giant cockroaches. They were also pretty hard to kill (and I did try hitting them with a broom), but eventually I worked out they were a cinch to get rid of if you stabbed them with a crucifix.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7104421.stm

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/44252000/gif/_44252282_scorpion203x333.gif

Novelty sleeping bag?

"The fact that you are big means you are more likely to be seen and to be taken for a tastier morsel," he told BBC News. "Evolution will not select for large size; you want to be small so you can hide away."

WHAT? Surely the fact that many critters become very big underscores the fact that

a - he's only talking about particular cases

or

b - he's completely wrong

haha ledge

Mark, the main limitation is that insects don't have anything to pump blood around, so if they grow oxygen doesn't get distributed. Also, if you scale up existing ones, their legs would probably snap anyway, so a giant ant would need legs built more like elephants. I'm not sure either of these things would apply to a 5x increase, which is not the usual monster-movie scale.
-- Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:06 (1 year ago) Link

Actually the main problem is that insects don't have lungs. Oxygen is diffused into an insects blood via a network of tubes. Because the volume of tissue that needs oxygenation increases as a cube, whereas the surface area of the tubes doing the oxygenation only increases as a square there is a definite theoretical limit to how big they can grow; and whilst this limit is rather disgustingly large (if you don't like creepy-crawlies, that is) in the grand scheme of things it ain't that big. Interestingly enough there are some living insects that appear to be around that limit, the aptly named Titan Beetle is one of them.

some insects might be less scary if they're 5 times bigger cos they'll be easier to hit then

you carry on believing that, ken.

Have I gone blind, or does that Wikipedia article not say ANYWHERE how big the damn things actually ARE??

Oh nevermind, I found it.

great thought experiment

only 5 times larger would still not be very big

That depends on if you're talking about, say, aphids or wetas. This baby is already 8" long. I think seeing one just over a yard long might induce an immediate heart attack in me. That's the size of like a Great Dane.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Knights.weta.750pix.jpg

that's too gross to think about

i am never going to new zealand

I have no memory of dreaming that dream or posting those posts.

5 times larger in terms of volume or length?

sometimes i imagine what a pug would look like if it was the size of a small hippo

The reverse would be pretty cool.

We should bestride that tiny hippo like a collossus!

you guys bad news last nite all insects became five times larger, on the other hand i have an ipad

IIRC prehistoric pugs were the size of hippos.

:x

lolz at this pygmy hippo trying to do pug eyes

http://www.oudtshoorninfo.com/images/articles/news2/2005_1/cwr_pygmy_hippo_2.jpg

https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/3ed0318d5edec601708fc49fa81fd32691cd3920/0_0_540_971/master/540.jpg?width=445&dpr=1&s=none&crop=none

New 40cm-long species of stick insect suspected to be the heaviest insect in Australia

yessss

Real science

After many nights of searching, Emmott and Coupland found a big female between Millaa Millaa and Mount Hypipamee. The insect was so high up that they had to use a long stick to get it down.

ffs no way. I thought the oxygen level was too low for big big insects in this epoch. I couldn't be paid enough to go to Australia.

breaking news: all insects have become 5 times larger overnight

related

insect sushi, insects as food (don't click if you're squeamish)

Aaargh Imagine if ALL grocery groins became 5 times larger overnight??

also related:

Radioactive wasp nest discovered at nuclear waste storage site in South Carolina

bring it but don't sting it