Uni Personal Statement...... help me!!!!

but I'm not convinced by this sentence.

As far as my creativity and writing flair is concerned, the authors who have influenced me the most are George Orwell, John Steinbeck, and the screen-writer David Renwick.

"I don’t belieeeeve it!"

..thus already giving me an astute conception of the nature of language very early on...As a small child I had a reading age well beyond my years, able to converse and articulate relatively well on contemporary subjects, and often very opinionated.

However, I didn't start to fully develop my language skills until I started secondary education at Adams' Grammar School...

which is it: prodigy or late developer?

"From an early age I have been certain that I want to...", or think of a construction that isn't so cliché.

2. Opinionated isn't a good thing. Say you take strong positions and argue them well.

3. also perform in Amateur Dramatics ... which I act and write for

We know you act for it, you've already said. Try "which I also write for".

4. "a birth rite"
A birth rite is a ceremony performed at your birth. You mean "birthright".

5. "and using the internet whenever possible"
Teh p0rn? Say "and reading German-language websites frequently".

mfl
PS I have gin inside me.

Eek. Did you converse with your reading age? Was your reading age very opinionated?

languages is different
from what?

More broadly, though, you haven't really said why you want to study German, just that you're teh child pr0digy at languages. I'd talk more about that. Also, expand upon your creative writing -- what do you write about? why? in what languages?

mmm, lovely gin.

listening to music and travelling.
what kinds of music? travelling where and doing what?

finally: you should talk more about the future than the past. Where do you see yourself with this shiny degree in yr pocket? what's yr plan? any dream jobs? how will it be useful to you?

*burps, passes out*

seriously jts, just read this over (maybe aloud?) once or twice (perhaps paying particular attention to your commas - decide whether each one needs to be there/should be ditched/should be changed to another kind of punctuation) and you'll pick up several things that just read clunkily. and er yeah, i know my sentences on ilx frequently aren't as well-constructed as they might be but i'm just typing out loud. and it's 3am and i have been drinking teh rum. and i'm genuinely trying to help, not have a go at you. i remember doing this and it sucked, especially as i didn't even want to go to uni. g'luck.

My life-long ambition has been to study the English and German languages. While I was born in Germany, my family moved to the UK when I was two year old. Early negotiations between English and German sparked my interest in the nature of language.
// As a small child I had a reading age well beyond my years, able to converse and articulate relatively well on contemporary subjects, and often very opinionated. // THIS PART SOUNDS A BIT BRAGGY, I WOULD CUT IT, MAYBE REPLACE WITH SOME BOOKS YOU LIKED TO READ IT AT THIS AGE, IN EACH LANGUAGE, OR ADD A HUMOROUS ANTITODE ABOUT HOW YOU NEGOTIATED BTWN THE TWO LANGUAGES. OR WRITE ABOUT WHAT YOU WERE INTERESTED IN AT THIS AGE AND WHAT OPINIONS YOU HAD.

//Over the years my English skills have been put to good use,// CUT THIS (SHOW DON'T TELL) I enjoy creative writing and also perform in amateur dramatics, such as the yearly Reisner competition at my school, which I act in and write for. //As far as my creativity and writing flair is concerned,//CUT The authors who I enjoy reading the most are George Orwell, John Steinbeck, and the screen-writer David Renwick. MAYBE ADD A BIT ABOUT THIS, WHAT YOU LIKE ABOUT THEM, OR A SPECIFIC ACT YOU DID.

As a native of Germany, I am keen to study its culture. I enjoy visiting Muenster, the town of my birth, and take pleasure in observing the German way of life. I developed my German-language skills during my secondary education at Adams' Grammar School, and supplement my formal education with travel to Germany, watching satellite TV, and searching the Internet for German-language Web sites.MAYBE ADD HERE SOME SPECIFICS I built up my knowledge of French and German literature with the help of books like the powerful Mutter Courage und ihre Kinder by Bertold Brecht, the idyllic nostalgic views of a distant past in La Glorie de mon Pere by Marcel Pagnol, and also Albert Camus' impersonal classic L'Etranger. I LIKE THIS PART, IT SHOWS WHAT YOU LIKE ABOUT THE BOOKS, MAYBE ADD SOME DESCRIPTORS LIKE THIS TO YOUR WRITERS IN THE FIRST GRAF In early 2005 I went on a work experience with Acorn Educational Exchanges to Koln, Germany. WORKING AS A XXX, I was able to improve my German speaking and writing. //Eventually, my intuitiveness paid off when I received excellent grades in both my GSCE and AS Levels in these subjects.//I WOULD CUT THIS, THEY WILL SEE YOUR GRADES ON YOUR TRANSCRIPTS. I am set to go on another Acorn trip to Lille, France, in early 2006. ARE YOU ALSO INTERESTED IN STUDYING FRENCH? IF SO MAYBE REVISE START OF ESSAY TO SAY THAT YOU ARE INTERESTED IN STUDYING LANGUAGES IN GENERAL, OR COMPARATIVE LANGUAGES.

My involvement with the school Polish club allowed me a further chance to travel and I took a two-week trip to Poland in 2003. I am also a member of a local drama group at Shrewsbury's //well-renowned//CUT Gateway institution. COULD WRITE A BIT MORE ABOUT THESE TWO ACTIVITIES//I am also a keen cyclist, always striving to improve my athletic abilities, and my other hobbies include reading, writing, listening to music and travelling.// CUT THIS WE KNOW ABOUT ALL THIS EXCEPT THE BIKING AND THE MUSIC. Could say something like, In my spare time I enjoy cycling and listening to music.

I’m a very intelligent, hard working, ambitious and creative individual with an enormous amount potential. I have been composing music for a few years now, first using reason 2.5 then progressing on to building my personal home studio. I now rewire Cubase sx and Reason 3.04, use over 20 vst Plug ins and own an Evolution Midi Keyboard, Korg Synth, Korg Sampler and Phonic Mixer. I have many other plans to expand my studio and learn how to use all my equipment and softwares, this is why I have decided to go on to further education so I can be taught the right way to do things.

I believe I have always been very talented in music, I learned the keyboard from a young

I’ve got a very large passion for many styles of music and plan to compose music of many different genders with help from my uni course. At the moment I’m only creating Drum and Bass but would love to learn about how other different types of music are made and learn about there back grounds (such as Jazz, classical, Bluses, Indie, rock rtc)

I’m a DJ and have played out in over 15 venues up and down the country and I’m promoting my name as much as possible. I have created my own official website to promote my DJ/Producer name (DJ Verdict – www.djverdict.tk).

I want to do this subject because music is my main interest and I spend all of my spare time envolved in music, producing, DJing, Organizing Musical Events at nights clubs, writing about music etc.

I help manage a company called JR Management in my spare time, this company is owned by my cousin. It consists of a record label called The Mastermind Records and three website, (Jungleravers.com, englishhiphop.co.uk and themastermindrecords.com). One of the things I do is write tune reviews for the websites and write reviews on night club events; I have found this to be very useful because I have obtained many connections throughout the industry and it forever expands my knowledge of music and writing. I have been in contact with promoters, record labels, owners of other music related websites, many producers, radio station, DJ’s and MC’s,

I also help run the Jungleravers.com night club events which are renowned throughout the country and helped establish the jungleravers.com name to the prominent position it remains in. I have teamed up Jungleravers with a company called www.paragonproductions.net that promote an event called Vital Instincts to form our brand name Jungle Instincts.

I have taught my self in many area’s of my music and have acquired many skills, these are displayed in my production and my mixing abilities.

I’am a member of the TA and do martial arts which I currently do every week.

I have achieved a basic knowledge of how to use softwares and synths such as Cubase sx, Reason and a select few vst instrument. I have made many different tunes but only recently have I managed to start making tunes at a professional standard.

I would make a good student because I am dedicated, smart, ambitious and have goals which I will strieve to achive.

My future goals

Comments on particular artists work…. proof……

Input reasons for wanting to study the course, not just because you enjoy it, others!