Hoo boy...it's M. Night Shyamalan's "Lady in the Water"

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roffle

http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/ladyinthewater/small.html

― latebloomer: Do I have a large frog in my hair? (latebloomer), Saturday, 26 November 2005 20:36 (twenty years ago)

The twist this time: "It's a GUY in 7UP!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 26 November 2005 20:38 (twenty years ago)

Dude's severly hydrophobic, I wouldn't be surprised.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Saturday, 26 November 2005 20:45 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.thefirstplace.it/archivio/articoli/immagini/cs_03.png

― latebloomer: Do I have a large frog in my hair? (latebloomer), Saturday, 26 November 2005 21:05 (twenty years ago)

I saw this trailer at the theater, and at first thought it must be a fake movie, and at the end it would say 'turn off your cellphones' or something. When M. Night Shyamalan's name came up it got a laugh from the audience.

― Annabelle Lennox (Arachne), Saturday, 26 November 2005 23:15 (twenty years ago)

narf?

― Lingbertt, Sunday, 27 November 2005 05:12 (twenty years ago)

So, does this trailer actually work for anyone?

― Øystein (Øystein), Sunday, 27 November 2005 05:14 (twenty years ago)

Yeah. You do have the latest quicktime; no?

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Sunday, 27 November 2005 05:25 (twenty years ago)

As much as I want to hate on this, I must say that it is really nice that Hollywood is finally making movies for retarded people.

― GARGLEBY (dr g), Sunday, 27 November 2005 05:49 (twenty years ago)

Poor Paul Giamatti is destined to forever be typecast as the lonely, schlupy guy. However, this is apparently a "Bedtime Story" and not a movie, so maybe it doesn't count.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Sunday, 27 November 2005 05:56 (twenty years ago)

Sorry, that was meant to be "schlumpy."

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Sunday, 27 November 2005 06:03 (twenty years ago)

the synopsis is just wow

― lemin (lemin), Sunday, 27 November 2005 06:15 (twenty years ago)

So Cleveland Heep's life constantly changes forever and ever?

― 'Twan (miccio), Sunday, 27 November 2005 06:21 (twenty years ago)

did they take down this trailer?

― howell huser (chaki), Sunday, 27 November 2005 06:45 (twenty years ago)

this trailer made me roffle as well

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Sunday, 27 November 2005 06:50 (twenty years ago)

I'm kind of amazed they let him sell this as a "bedtime story." I can't imagine that tests well.

― 'Twan (miccio), Sunday, 27 November 2005 06:54 (twenty years ago)

I doubt the name "M. Night Shyamalan" tests well these days.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Sunday, 27 November 2005 06:57 (twenty years ago)

*turns off cellphone*

― athol fugard (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 27 November 2005 07:00 (twenty years ago)

Is this Cocoon again? Because we already saw that.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Sunday, 27 November 2005 10:43 (twenty years ago)

four months pass...

I am so glad the word 'anticipate' is nowhere in the thread title.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 20:50 (nineteen years ago)

It's nice to see Shymalan anticipate the coming rash of [noun][preposition][article][noun] movie titles.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 21:04 (nineteen years ago)

NOUN IN THE TITLE: coming this summer

― Abbott (Abbott), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 21:22 (nineteen years ago)

This time the twist will be that the movie will burst into flames three minutes in.

― Dan (We Should Be So Lucky) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 21:24 (nineteen years ago)

I can't even look at whatshername Howard, she's like tubgirl.

― My Psychic Friends Are Strangely Silent (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 21:28 (nineteen years ago)

justin? is that you?

― phil-two (phil-two), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 21:44 (nineteen years ago)

Howard is cute, in a waify kind of way.

The synopsis on the official site is painful. She's a mermaid! Who brings out special powers in people! Who unite to defend her from evil mermaid-hunting demons! Paul Giamatti has to face his personal demons that led to him becoming a maintenance man!

― Big Willy and the Twins (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 21:48 (nineteen years ago)

M. Night for all he tries still has a very tenuous understanding of white people. So don't hate - he has every right to use MAGIC to unearth their INNERMOST TRUTHS AND MYSTERIES.

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 22:05 (nineteen years ago)

Like Mayo for Wonder Bread

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 22:07 (nineteen years ago)

The Three Burials of Fred Wurster

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 22:08 (nineteen years ago)

The Miracle Cornfield War

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 22:09 (nineteen years ago)

Monkey: The Magic Honkey

― Dan (Lock Thread) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 22:10 (nineteen years ago)

The Legend of Bagger Billy Bob

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 22:12 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.filmweb.no/bilder/multimedia/archive/00091/Bryce_Dallas_Howard__91628o.jpg

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 22:14 (nineteen years ago)

Snobs in a Flop

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 22:15 (nineteen years ago)

For a minute there I thought Trayce was going post the scary picture.

― My Psychic Friends Are Strangely Silent (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 22:28 (nineteen years ago)

She's good at doing that.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 22:30 (nineteen years ago)

that trailer music makes me want to hit something.

i kept waiting for brash hip-hop music and animated characters with dana carvey, jim carrey, and queen latifah to jump out. yo yo yo!
m.

― msp (mspa), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 22:35 (nineteen years ago)

Opie's Spawn

― latebloomer: band to the planet mars (latebloomer), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 22:59 (nineteen years ago)

STOP IT LEON

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 23:03 (nineteen years ago)

Here's hoping that this will make it 3 consecutive movies that result in Mr. Night facing plagiarism-related lawsuits.

― erklie (erklie), Thursday, 30 March 2006 01:52 (nineteen years ago)

For a minute there I thought Trayce was going post the scary picture.

Wait, whatido?

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 30 March 2006 02:16 (nineteen years ago)

(Fret not, Trayce -- there was a confusion of you and Tracer Hand elsewhere in a thread and Tracer Hand felt a bit aggreived. ;-) )

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 30 March 2006 02:17 (nineteen years ago)

the trailer definitely sucks, but considering how little it says or shows, that doesn't really rule out me liking it, especially since I was one of the only people on that thread about The Village that didn't hate it. plus Bob Balaban and Jim Gaffigan are in it, between them and Giamatti it might just be one big schlub-a-thon.

― Alex in Baltimore (Alex in Baltimore), Thursday, 30 March 2006 02:53 (nineteen years ago)

i didn't really hate 'the village'. well yeah i guess i did hate it, parts of it, but i sort of appreciated it at the same time. er. same with the one before whose name i've forgot. it seems like light years since mel gibson was actually, like, a leading man you know. now he's the director of PotC and APOCALYPTO.

anyway i guess how you feel about this trailer (excepting that HIDEOUS music bleccch) depends on how you feel about m night shyamalan's vaunted "sense of wonder" etc. hence "bedtime story." i mean this "sense of wonder" is obviously a kind of marketing ploy, a matter of product differentiation, if indeed trying hard for Spielberg Circa 1978 can be thought of as, in the present context, product differentiation. on the other hand it allows him to make certain kinds of movies that nobody else is making.

anyway that said m. night shyamalan's visual style is still pretty distinctive i think... even if it's become less distinctive since he pretty great 'unbreakable.' so there's that.

i mean i'm tempted to say that maybe shyamalan the scriptwriter fails shyamalan the director but his identify is so tied up in his dual role and the way his long takes express the bombastic sense of "Mystery©" drummed up by his scripts that i don't know how useful it is, critically, to separate the two.

how do you think this will compare with 'lady in the lake'?

oh and also: this film should have a title tune sung by christopher cross. i mean really.

― amateurist0-, Thursday, 30 March 2006 03:31 (nineteen years ago)

I'm trying to imagine him singing M. Night Shyamalan's name.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 30 March 2006 03:37 (nineteen years ago)

I can't even look at whatshername Howard, she's like tubgirl.

-- My Psychic Friends Are Strangely Silent (psychi...), March 30th, 2006. (later)

What the fuck does this even mean.

I dunno, Sixth Sense really helped me through a gloomy, depressive trough in some way, Unbreakable helped re-establish my love of comic books and Signs had genuinely frightening moments. The guy's got some chops.

― Mike Stuchbery (Mike Stuchbery), Thursday, 30 March 2006 04:51 (nineteen years ago)

the Village, however

― latebloomer: band to the planet mars (latebloomer), Thursday, 30 March 2006 04:56 (nineteen years ago)

Oh yeah, I liked that, but only because I'm a 'nineteenth century dress and also child mortality and illness' fetishist.

Also, James Newton Howard's soundtracks to these films are great. There's a least one piece of music from each film that are up there in my famous pieces of film music.

Now don't get all 'What about Nideo Fuckjormama's minimalist score to WHATHEFUCKISTHISSHITAQATSI???"

― Mike Stuchbery (Mike Stuchbery), Thursday, 30 March 2006 05:03 (nineteen years ago)

I'm a 'nineteenth century dress and also child mortality and illness' fetishist

Dude, the SCA is bad enough!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 30 March 2006 05:17 (nineteen years ago)

Shiiit, it just extends to staring morbidly at memorial photography and being gothy. Hell, I was part of a movement to get our local of SCA pushed the fuck off the Unimelb campus.

― Mike Stuchbery (Mike Stuchbery), Thursday, 30 March 2006 05:23 (nineteen years ago)

Ah, sanity returns and you are again a truly good man. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 30 March 2006 05:27 (nineteen years ago)

philip glass!

― amateurist0, Thursday, 30 March 2006 05:37 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, I got love for Phillip Glass and his deedledeedledeedledeedlediddlydumdiddlydumdiddlydumdiddlydumdiddlydumdiddlydumwackawackawackawackawackawackawackawackawackawackawackawackawackablimblimblimblimblim scores.

― Mike Stuchbery (Mike Stuchbery), Thursday, 30 March 2006 11:18 (nineteen years ago)

Sideways 2 with a Twist

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 30 March 2006 13:36 (nineteen years ago)

What the fuck does this even mean.

That friends shouldn't let friends get naked in Lars Von Trier films. It was as scary as the Eye of Sauron should have been.

― My Psychic Friends Are Strangely Silent (Ex Leon), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:21 (nineteen years ago)

so this movie is basically splash but sad right?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 30 March 2006 18:45 (nineteen years ago)

More like Splash but throwing-things-at-the-screen awful.

― Sparkle Motion's Rising Force, Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:39 (nineteen years ago)

It's all just sub-Twilight Zone fodder with a big budget.

― Steve Shasta (Steve Shasta), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:43 (nineteen years ago)

I always forget that John Candy, Eugene Levy, AND Shecky Greene were in Splash.

― kingfish ubermensch dishwasher sundae (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 30 March 2006 21:07 (nineteen years ago)

If only they had been the cast of Sideways as well.

― Sparkle Motion's Rising Force, Thursday, 30 March 2006 21:13 (nineteen years ago)

Okay I liked "Sideways" but that would have been AWESOME.

― Dan (Wow) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 30 March 2006 21:21 (nineteen years ago)

john candy in the giamatti role would have made sideways so much better

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 30 March 2006 21:30 (nineteen years ago)

M. Night Shyamalamadingdong is a horrible filmmaker.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 30 March 2006 21:33 (nineteen years ago)

Ebert raves "Like 'Crash' in a Pool"

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Friday, 31 March 2006 04:18 (nineteen years ago)

five months pass...

saw this.

eyes are in pain from rolling back into my head so frequently.

― grady (grady), Thursday, 7 September 2006 00:03 (nineteen years ago)

Please tell me it was a dollar theater, at least.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 7 September 2006 21:53 (nineteen years ago)

a dollar theatre where the tickets are actually only one dollar!!!

girlfriend loved it.

― grady (grady), Thursday, 7 September 2006 21:56 (nineteen years ago)

Clearly we all must go to this theater at midnight when we're all there next year and see whatever.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 7 September 2006 21:56 (nineteen years ago)

can MMIII please come back at least to allow for "Shady in the Water"?

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 7 September 2006 22:04 (nineteen years ago)

If M. Night directed the video it'd be hard to say who was slumming with who.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 September 2006 00:23 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...

Here you go, Ned (to the tune of "Sailing"):

"Well it's M. Night Shy-a-ma-ma-lan
At least it's not for me..."

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Friday, 13 October 2006 06:44 (nineteen years ago)

eight months pass...

Wasn't there another thread where y'all made fun of this in depth? If someone can find that, I want to reread it now that I've seen this.

― marmotwolof, Thursday, 5 July 2007 00:32 (eighteen years ago)

Ask and you shall receive:

You Would Like To Be The Next M. Night Shamalamadingdong, But Your Blues Aren't Blue Enough And Sarah Michelle Won't Return Your Calls. Quick! What Nursery Rhyme Will You Use In Your Next Highly Deri

Now I'm off to a party and see fireworks.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 5 July 2007 00:36 (eighteen years ago)

thanks Ned, have a good one.

― marmotwolof, Thursday, 5 July 2007 00:51 (eighteen years ago)

eight years pass...

One evening, Cleveland Heep (Paul Giamatti), who became a handyman at a Philadelphia apartment complex after his family was murdered, discovers Story (Bryce Dallas Howard), a naiad-like character (called a Narf) from the Blue World, in his building's pool, immediately rescuing her from an attack by a "Scrunt",[5] a grass-covered lupine that lies preternaturally flat.

Story is here to find a specific writer whose book will better humanity's future. After questioning residents Farber (Bob Balaban), Bell (Mary Beth Hurt), Dury (Jeffrey Wright), and five nameless smokers, Heep discovers the author, Vick Ran (M. Night Shyamalan), who is writing The Cookbook, containing views and ideas so significant they will inspire a future President, a great Midwestern orator, to greatly change the world for the better. Ran meeting Story eliminates his fear and sharpens his inner voice, but he learns he will be assassinated because of the controversial nature of his ideas.

The Tartutic, an invincible simian trio that serve as the Blue World's peacekeepers, have forbidden that Story be attacked while returning home. The Scrunt nonetheless does just that, as Story is destined to be a great leader as well. To return safely, she will now need the help of a Symbolist, Guardian, Guild, and Healer. Story believes Heep to be her Guardian; Heep asks Farber, a West Coast émigré turned film critic, to help him figure out the others' identities. Working off movie tropes, Farber misadvises Heep, leading him to a flawed conclusion that a logophile named Dury is the Symbolist, a group of misfit "tokers" are the Guild, and a woman who cares for stray animals named Bell is the Healer.

Heep asks Story how to "practice" for the confrontation but nearly dies in the process, convincing him he's not the Guardian. The next night, Farber's bad advice leads to their plan's immediate failure. In the confusion, Farber is killed and Story is mortally wounded by the Scrunt. Dury suddenly realizes his son Joey (Noah Gray-Cabey) is the Symbolist. Interpreting the information on cereal boxes, Joey deduces the true Guild is composed of seven sisters, that two new men must be present, and that the Healer is male, soon revealed to be Heep. He goes about healing Story by "bringing forth his energy" (his repressed grief). Story's departure starts again, but the Scrunt attacks; it is stopped by the gaze of Reggie (Freddy Rodríguez), a lopsidedly muscled tenant who is the true Guardian. Reggie's gaze, capable of compelling the Scrunt to slowly retreat, is distracted by the cry of the Great Eatlon, a giant eagle who will ferry Story home. When Reggie breaks eye contact, the Scrunt leaps, but the Tartutic arrive and drag it away. Heep thanks Story for saving his life as she hugs him goodbye. The Great Eatlon lands, enfolds Story in one of its wings, and takes flight. Each tenant watches as she is ferried into the storm.

― doing my Objectives, handling some intense stuff (LocalGarda), Monday, 10 August 2015 23:17 (ten years ago)

]Reggie's gaze, capable of compelling the Scrunt to slowly retreat, is distracted by the cry of the Great Eatlon, a giant eagle who will ferry Story home.

― doing my Objectives, handling some intense stuff (LocalGarda), Monday, 10 August 2015 23:18 (ten years ago)

his follow up, water in the lady, was a poorly received investigation into post-menopausal fluid retention

― irl lol (darraghmac), Monday, 10 August 2015 23:28 (ten years ago)

Wau

― corbyn's gallus (jim in glasgow), Monday, 10 August 2015 23:48 (ten years ago)

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