Short Story I.D

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A group of scientists/NASA dudes(?) eagerly await the landing of a spaceship. Huge breakthrough!

The aliens speak our language, they are friendly and are scheduled to land any minute! It's all very exciting, the humans wait outside scanning the skies, the control room guides the spacecraft in.... but where are they?

"We've landed!" says the pilot of the spacecraft. "Where are you?"

"Where are you?" asks the NASA commander? He runs across the tarmac... CRUNCH - he smashes the tiny spaceship underfoot killing the occupants.

It sounds like a Tales of the Unexpected or something, I'm not sure, I read it years and years and years ago, that's why I'm a little sketchy....

― Rumpie, Monday, 28 November 2005 11:53 (twenty years ago)

Alas Smith and Jones?

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 28 November 2005 12:13 (twenty years ago)

I've read it. I don't think they actually crunch the aliens at the end though. I was going to say I was sure I read it in a Nebula magazine, but none of the ones here (http://members.aol.com/nebulasf/index.html) sound right. I have a ton of crappy sci-fi anthologies at home, I'll find out when I can have a look.

― Sasha (sgh), Monday, 28 November 2005 12:37 (twenty years ago)

james blish, i think..?

kingley amis goes into it in detail in 'new maps of hell'. if there's no more definite ID i'll look it up when i get the chance.

― tom west (thomp), Monday, 28 November 2005 12:38 (twenty years ago)

it sounds very similar to one of the asides in the hitch-hiker's guide, too, about a cataclysmic error of scale resulting in an entire invasion fleet being eaten by a small dog.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Monday, 28 November 2005 12:42 (twenty years ago)

The tiny aliens in Moby's "In My World" video don't get crushed either...

― StanM (StanM), Monday, 28 November 2005 12:43 (twenty years ago)

Ah. The Moby track is called "In This World."

― StanM (StanM), Monday, 28 November 2005 12:45 (twenty years ago)

So there's been more than one story written on this subject? Interesting.

― Rumpie, Monday, 28 November 2005 12:48 (twenty years ago)

There's been a comic book story or two, back in the '50s, using the same idea.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:27 (twenty years ago)

isn't this a twilight zone episode?

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:41 (twenty years ago)

A (maybe not THE story) you describe could be Pictures Don't Lie by Katherine Maclean.

http://www.galaxyezine.com/classics/stories/gc5108e.html

There is a pretty crappy synopsis/edited version here.

http://www.magicdragon.com/EmeraldCity/extraterrestrials/alien7.html
(scroll down)

However, the aliens don't speak English, so it may not be the one you're thinking of.

― Sasha (sgh), Wednesday, 30 November 2005 23:59 (twenty years ago)

There also appears to be a radio play about it:

http://www.bsu.edu/web/00taholaday/2005/01/x-minus-one-71-56-10-24-pictures-dont.html

― Sasha (sgh), Thursday, 1 December 2005 00:05 (twenty years ago)

There's a twilight zone episode with tiny aliens, but it doesn't follow this plot. I think the twist at the end is that the "aliens" are actually human astronauts who've landed on a planet of giants.

― 31g (31g), Thursday, 1 December 2005 00:11 (twenty years ago)

there's another short story i remember where the alien craft are all these giant tall things that land and begin spraying "insecticide" all over the earth (or at least that's implied when the person noticing same is working in her garden) - but i've forgotten who wrote that one.

oh, or there's also the one where people finally link up every computer and database existing *everywhere* to create the ultimate supercomputer, just so they can ask it the big question "is there a god?" to which it of course replies "there is now." anyone know where that's from?

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 1 December 2005 00:11 (twenty years ago)

I almost started this a couple of weeks ago - someone mentioned a book of really short stories (from one sentence to a page for some of them) by a female author. But I can't find the thread or name now.

― Erick Dampier is better than Shaq (miloaukerman), Thursday, 1 December 2005 01:25 (twenty years ago)

-- Kim (grimstitc...), December 1st, 2005 11:11 AM. (later)

A quick google reveals it to be by an 'Ian Brown'. I've read it, but I thought it was kind of weak.

― Sasha (sgh), Thursday, 1 December 2005 01:41 (twenty years ago)

oh no doubt. it seemed clever when i was like, ten or something though.

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 1 December 2005 01:44 (twenty years ago)

Sorry, Frederic Brown. Too much Stone Roses. 'Answer'

Here it is:

http://www.alteich.com/oldsite/answer.htm

― Sasha (sgh), Thursday, 1 December 2005 01:50 (twenty years ago)

heh i was just thinking that "Ian" Brown didn't sound quite right.

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 1 December 2005 01:54 (twenty years ago)

"Dwar Ev" yes, thanks now i remember it all. but wow, it really is a short short story.

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 1 December 2005 01:58 (twenty years ago)

Arthur C. Clarke's "The Nine Billion Names Of God" offers a more elegant/satisfactory variation on the theme. Less "haHA punchline!," more "dude... whoa..."

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Thursday, 1 December 2005 02:00 (twenty years ago)

Pedantic Notes:
There is only one "e" in Fredric Brown's name.
The Twilight Zone in question starred none other than Agnes Moorehead as the charwoman revealed to be an alien giantess.

― k/l (Ken L), Thursday, 1 December 2005 03:08 (twenty years ago)

I remember that twilight zone. The aliens land on the roof of some kind of peasant shack right and she's freaked out and trying to kill them with a broom or something right? And there's no dialog in the whole thing IIRC.

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Thursday, 1 December 2005 03:26 (twenty years ago)

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