As my granny used to say.....

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What words did your grandparents use that raise a few eyebrows when you use them yourself? Please please catalogue them here and keep using them. Let your kids hear you using them, explain their meanings to your friends.

I've been reinventing a few of my own grannies, most of them are pretty local to the west of Scotland - or were. I'd hate to see them die out!

the lobby - the hall/reception area

the landing - area at the top of the stairs

the press - an indoor cupboard - (the lobby press)

the cloot - the cloth

smir - light rain, drizzle

There are many many more of these, not all of them spring to mind right now. I think it's our duty to keep using these words - they are part of our regional heritage.

― Rumpie, Monday, 28 November 2005 13:19 (twenty years ago)

the landing - area at the top of the stairs

there's another name for it? seems not, else you would have called it that instead of "area at the top of the stairs", right? i never heard anyone call it anything other than landing. every generation of my family says landing. am i missing out on something? OH NOES.

― Sailor Kitten (g-kit), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:22 (twenty years ago)

"the lobby" is common usage in the u.s.

― athol fugard (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:22 (twenty years ago)

your first three are pretty common and not just in Scotland.

xp yeah, wierd.

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:23 (twenty years ago)

what is the 21st century word for the landing then?

― Sailor Kitten (g-kit), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:24 (twenty years ago)

Press

4. An upright case or closet for the safe keeping of
articles; as, a clothes press. --Shak.
[1913 Webster]

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:24 (twenty years ago)

I'm not quite sure how to spell this phonetically, but my grandmother used to call the cupboard under the stairs the "kutch" (
to rhyme with 'butch')

― C J (C J), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:24 (twenty years ago)

I don't think they really used any different words. More expressions. Such as:

"It rolls like a square ball."

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:27 (twenty years ago)

anyway to answer the question - my mum calls an ice cream cone "a pokey hat". confusingly, she also calls a plastic bag "a poke".

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:27 (twenty years ago)

i wonder if that's a variation on "hutch." (xxpost)

― athol fugard (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:28 (twenty years ago)

My Botanist Granny only used to use very technical botanical terms - "Gymnosperm" and the like. I think the Maths Granny used to pepper and salt her language with Afrikaans terms but I can't remember any off hand. Oh yes, shouting "Footsaak!" at stray dogs.

― Please Snap StressTwig (kate), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:29 (twenty years ago)

'Poke' is fairly common for bag, e.g. 'pig in a poke' or a 'poaky chups' in Scotland (please excuse the phonetic bollocks)

― beanz (beanz), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

Excellent - I know many people who had no idea what a landing was until I explained it. That's what made me think it was one of these local ones.

What I find weird is how things travel, I used to live in Ayrshire, and found it really funny when an old neighbour referred to a clothes horse as a winterdyke. My mum had never heard it called that before and we thought it was just an Ayrshire thing. Afew years ago we visited friends in Berwick upon Tweed, and they called it a winterdyke too.

One or two of the folk in my work have heard of it, others who were born and brought up in the same area haven't.

― Rumpie, Monday, 28 November 2005 13:33 (twenty years ago)

My grandama calls the cupboard under the stairs the 'Cutch' too. And she says five and twenty past/to when refering to the time. My grandad calls the toilet the office of works

― Shin, Monday, 28 November 2005 13:34 (twenty years ago)

I know many people who had no idea what a landing was until I explained it.

ask these lunatics what they refer to it as. then shoot them.

― Sailor Kitten (g-kit), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:35 (twenty years ago)

one that i like is "tate" = a small amount, as in "can i have a wee tate of your ginger?"

Joyce uses "press" in a portrait of the artist when he's describing the cupboard the holy wine is kept in.

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:36 (twenty years ago)

Not really the same, but my gran calls the dining room (table, dresser etc) the kitchen, and the kitchen (oven, fridge, sink etc) the scullery. I don't think much sculling goes on there though.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:36 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, I've always called a bag of chips a 'poke of chips', and 'pokey hat' was common too.

― Rumpie, Monday, 28 November 2005 13:37 (twenty years ago)

Oh yes, my Grandma used to call the kitchen the scullery too!

And she called the dining room the 'middle kitchen'.

― C J (C J), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:37 (twenty years ago)

Oh yes! Botanist granny used to refer to a Dram as a kind of measurement. Especially sherry or whiskey would always be served in a "wee dram".

― Please Snap StressTwig (kate), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:38 (twenty years ago)

We say 'five past' or 'quarter to' as well. What's the american equivilant? 'Quarter of?'

― Rumpie, Monday, 28 November 2005 13:38 (twenty years ago)

I know many people who had no idea what a landing was until I explained it.
ask these lunatics what they refer to it as. then shoot them.

Obv don't shoot'em in the head cause there's nothing vital there.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:39 (twenty years ago)

i love this one: my friends granny (who died last week, RIP Margaret) said "shut eye with a bang" to mean a shock. "you'll get a shut eye with a bang when you see what she's wearing!".

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:40 (twenty years ago)

http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=%22shut+eye+with+a+bang%22&btnG=Google+Search&meta=

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:40 (twenty years ago)

She was a WITCH?

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:42 (twenty years ago)

More expressions. Such as: "It rolls like a square ball."

Expressions have been as rare as teeth in a chicken here.

― D.I.Y. U.N.K.L.E. (dave225.3), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:45 (twenty years ago)

Botanist Granny always used to say "I'm going to discipline and control my mind" to mean she was going to take a nap, but I think she coined that one herself after being caught sleeping at college.

― Please Snap StressTwig (kate), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:46 (twenty years ago)

i love this one: my friends granny (who died last week, RIP Margaret) said "shut eye with a bang" to mean a shock. "you'll get a shut eye with a bang when you see what she's wearing!".

that's awesome!

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:49 (twenty years ago)

vagina - flange

― haru h, Monday, 28 November 2005 13:54 (twenty years ago)

fanacapan.

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:55 (twenty years ago)

These peeps call the landing the hall. They don't differentiate between different parts of it.

― Rumpie, Monday, 28 November 2005 13:59 (twenty years ago)

Nearly-supercentenarian granny is the only person I knew who used "jiffy" for "very short time." As in "Do you want some breakfast? I could fix you an egg in a jiffy."

― I do feel guilty for getting any perverse amusement out of it (Rock Hardy), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:08 (twenty years ago)

The "quarter to" or "quarter past" is used here in the U.S. - but we don't say "I'll see you at half five then!" We would say five thirty, because we are brutish and didactic and are ruled by digital time.

― aimurchie (aimurchie), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:17 (twenty years ago)

my grandad called Jimmy Hendrix a 'gutter snipe' when he saw him playing on tv.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:20 (twenty years ago)

I use "jiffy" all the time, but then I'm the kind of person who would, I guess.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:22 (twenty years ago)

A piece of jam - a jam sandwich.

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:32 (twenty years ago)

We here in Ireland say 'press' all the time to mean 'cupboard'. The hot press is the airing cupboard, and it lives on the landing.
My granny had a fantastic array of sayings, from the fairly common 'she's tuppence ha'penny looking down on tuppence' to the grim (and still used by me) 'the dogs won't lick your blood'. She used to say 'woe betide you' a lot as well. Since she was a completely unthreatening woman, these phrases don't quite sound as gothic to me as they do to others.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:34 (twenty years ago)

My grandmother used to call gay men "funny fellas".

― elmo (allocryptic), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:35 (twenty years ago)

My grandad has been known to ask "who are these ginks?" when Top of the Pops comes on.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Monday, 28 November 2005 15:17 (twenty years ago)

And Nanna's exclamation of choice is "gor strike!"

― Mädchen (Madchen), Monday, 28 November 2005 15:18 (twenty years ago)

My favorite of my gran's was referring to something dark as being 'black as the inside of a cow.'

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 28 November 2005 17:11 (twenty years ago)

I'm not quite sure how to spell this phonetically, but my grandmother used to call the cupboard under the stairs the "kutch" (
to rhyme with 'butch')

"Cooch"????

― Dan (Where You Stick The Cucumbers) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 28 November 2005 17:14 (twenty years ago)

You say "boootch"? Are you French?

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 28 November 2005 17:15 (twenty years ago)

What if I am?

― Dan (Racist) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 28 November 2005 17:17 (twenty years ago)

Well, it would explain the antisemitism.

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 28 November 2005 17:18 (twenty years ago)

I'm always sad that nobody except my gran says 'spend a penny' any more.

My step-dad always says 'it takes a man not a shirt button' whenever anyone mock-threatens him.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 28 November 2005 17:19 (twenty years ago)

"We say 'five past' or 'quarter to' as well. What's the american equivilant? 'Quarter of?'"

Sorry i just realised i didnt phrase this very well . Shes a british granny and instead of saying twenty five past five, would say five and twenty past five

I say jiffy

― Shin, Monday, 28 November 2005 17:19 (twenty years ago)

Well, it would explain the antisemitism.

Touche.

― Dan (Cross Thread ROFFLES) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 28 November 2005 17:19 (twenty years ago)

scots, particularly those from the renfrewshire area: anybody ever heard "stoner" (pronounced "stonner") used to mean a hard-on?

it will very much affect a headline in next week's her4ld magazine.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Monday, 28 November 2005 19:02 (twenty years ago)

yep, stonner was the school word for it.

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 28 November 2005 19:05 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 324 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Sclaff

As in, thank you BBC Scotland for allowing the nation to once again relive Billy Bremner sclaffing that ball wide of the post against the worst Brazil team in history in the '74 World Cup.

― Is Lou Reed a Good Singer? (Tom D.), Monday, 18 May 2020 13:17 (five years ago)

My mom's golf group was called the Sclaffers.

― brownie, Monday, 18 May 2020 13:48 (five years ago)

had no idea it was an actual word that other people used!

― brownie, Monday, 18 May 2020 13:52 (five years ago)

Yes, it's used a lot in golf!

― Is Lou Reed a Good Singer? (Tom D.), Monday, 18 May 2020 13:55 (five years ago)

Along with skite.

I sclaffed my shot and it skited off a tree

― BRAVE THE AFRIAD (onimo), Thursday, 21 May 2020 20:48 (five years ago)

and skliff

I sclaffed my shot and it skited off a tree so I skliffed off to find the ball

― conrad, Thursday, 21 May 2020 21:18 (five years ago)

I think that just means a segment of an orange where I'm from.

― Is Lou Reed a Good Singer? (Tom D.), Thursday, 21 May 2020 21:23 (five years ago)

I use sclaff. I have not heard skite or skliff. But I have used skiff - to very barely hit something. Usually in Subbuteo or pool. "That's two shots." "Naw, I skiffed it."

― Eyeball Kicks, Saturday, 23 May 2020 23:32 (five years ago)

Oh yeah, skiff is another one. Surprised you haven't heard skite, it's quite a common one.

― Is Lou Reed a Good Singer? (Tom D.), Saturday, 23 May 2020 23:42 (five years ago)

Michael Rosen’s Twitter feed has an absolute treasure trove of these that he either retweeted right before going into hospital or someone in his family RTed for him

― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 23 May 2020 23:53 (five years ago)

i.e.

"I'm standing 'ere like cheese at fourpence......."
— David Setchell (@DGSetchell) March 27, 2020

― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 23 May 2020 23:56 (five years ago)

Puggled = exhausted, spent, on your last legs.

"Huv seen the state o' yon Boris Johnson? Looks puggled tae me".

― Captain Beeftweet (Tom D.), Friday, 5 June 2020 12:42 (five years ago)

three weeks pass...

Switch = to beat (eggs) or mix.

"Gie's that egg and ah'll switch it up in a cup fer ye."

― Future England Captain (Tom D.), Wednesday, 1 July 2020 15:11 (five years ago)

one year passes...

Clap = to pat affectionately, caressingly, approvingly.

"Ye can gie the dug a clap, he'll no' bite ye."

― "Bobby Gillespie" (ft. Heroin) (Tom D.), Wednesday, 18 August 2021 22:40 (four years ago)

these are so great.

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 18 August 2021 23:04 (four years ago)

Tea jenny = A person who drinks a lot of tea; a tea addict; someone fussy about tea. noun.

― "Bobby Gillespie" (ft. Heroin) (Tom D.), Saturday, 21 August 2021 10:45 (four years ago)

three months pass...

Stave = 3. To sprain, bruise or contuse a joint of the body.

"Whit's wi' th' bandage?"
"Oh this? A' staved ma' thumb last night".

― When Smeato Met Moaty (Tom D.), Tuesday, 14 December 2021 11:05 (four years ago)

two months pass...

Pronouncing "lunatic" to rhyme with "pneumatic".

― Meet the Irish Queer Archive Poet In Residence (Tom D.), Monday, 28 February 2022 19:49 (four years ago)

My Gran (Paisley born) had a brilliant reserve of bastardized French terms, I really wish I had written them all down before she passed, I only remember the more obvious ones - Stank, Ashet, Jigot.

I think my fave saying of her's was 'What's fur ye, will no go by ye'

― Maresn3st, Monday, 28 February 2022 20:02 (four years ago)

Now you're talking my language... literally.

― Meet the Irish Queer Archive Poet In Residence (Tom D.), Monday, 28 February 2022 20:06 (four years ago)

I don't know if this is a Paisley/Renfrew thing or not, but I also liked her punctuation of 'says I' (start) and 'ah sais' (end) in a sentence.

With the added potential confusion of 'aye' and "I', I remember her saying to me once 'says I, aye, ah sais'

― Maresn3st, Monday, 28 February 2022 20:11 (four years ago)

What are "stank, ashet, jigot"?
(sounds like a law firm...)

― m0stly clean (Slowsquatch), Monday, 28 February 2022 20:21 (four years ago)

Overshoes meaning boots

― adam t. (abanana), Monday, 28 February 2022 20:38 (four years ago)

Stank as in very smelly in the past tense?

Ashet is a cooking dish, and specifically one you make/buy a steak pie in and is from assiette.

Jigot is spelled gigot, like the French, because it's a centre cut lamb leg chop.

― Long enough attention span for a Stephen Bissette blu-ray extra (aldo), Monday, 28 February 2022 20:49 (four years ago)

Stank is a drain, but I think it's also used to describe stagnant water.

― Maresn3st, Monday, 28 February 2022 21:05 (four years ago)

That's me learnt.

― Long enough attention span for a Stephen Bissette blu-ray extra (aldo), Monday, 28 February 2022 21:12 (four years ago)

Ta (as my granny used to say...)

― m0stly clean (Slowsquatch), Monday, 28 February 2022 21:15 (four years ago)

XP or Telt :)

― Maresn3st, Monday, 28 February 2022 21:16 (four years ago)

oh yeah as in “that’s that doon the stank”

― ok what the fuck is happening in the uk (rain) (wins), Monday, 28 February 2022 21:17 (four years ago)

Stank is a drain, from Old French, estanc for a pond or lake

Ashet, I know from ashet pie, is a large dish, from the French for plate, assiette.

Gigot (not Jigot) is a leg of mutton or lamb, taken directly from the French

― Meet the Irish Queer Archive Poet In Residence (Tom D.), Monday, 28 February 2022 22:54 (four years ago)

To this day, I call those Vicks inhaler sticks "mentholatum," as that is how my grandfather (1917-1993) always referred to them.

― Les hommes de bonbons (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 1 March 2022 00:39 (four years ago)

seven months pass...

Beelin' = angry, furious

"Ah'm beelin' Scotland were in Pot 2 in the Euro draw and still ended up gettin' the same sides they aye get".

Aye = always
[img=https://i.ebayimg.com/thumbs/images/g/kBYAAOSwmoxh6BP9/s-l300.jpg]https://i.ebayimg.com/thumbs/images/g/kBYAAOSwmoxh6BP9/s-l300.jpg[/img]

― Fronted by a bearded Phil Collins (Tom D.), Sunday, 9 October 2022 11:58 (three years ago)

Oops...

[img=https://i.ebayimg.com/thumbs/images/g/kBYAAOSwmoxh6BP9/s-l300.jpg]https://i.ebayimg.com/thumbs/images/g/kBYAAOSwmoxh6BP9/s-l300.jpg[/img]

― Fronted by a bearded Phil Collins (Tom D.), Sunday, 9 October 2022 11:58 (three years ago)

Fuck it, it's refusing to work.

― Fronted by a bearded Phil Collins (Tom D.), Sunday, 9 October 2022 11:59 (three years ago)

'Aye...funny man, d'y think his heid zips up the back...?' (told to a young me, in reference to my Grandad)

― MaresNest, Sunday, 9 October 2022 12:06 (three years ago)

“if it’s me on bongos and Mark E Smith, then it’s The Fall”

― assert (matttkkkk), Monday, 10 October 2022 12:47 (three years ago)

https://i.ebayimg.com/thumbs/images/g/kBYAAOSwmoxh6BP9/s-l300.jpg

― Mark G, Tuesday, 11 October 2022 08:31 (three years ago)

My old nan was from Wakefield. She'd mostly lost her accent by the end of her life but never sounded so Yorkshire as when she used her catchphrase: 's/he's short of nowt he's got'.

― Shard-borne Beatles with their drowsy hums (Chinaski), Saturday, 15 October 2022 18:46 (three years ago)

my grandma was kind of a self hating cockney who took elocution lessons and alcohol would change her accent and manner entirely (in a good and fun way most of the time)

― your original display name is still visible (Left), Saturday, 15 October 2022 18:55 (three years ago)

seven months pass...

keeker = black eye

Which, of course, is derived from one of my favourite Scots words.

https://www.dsl.ac.uk/entry/snd/keek_v1_n1

― Maggot Bairn (Tom D.), Sunday, 4 June 2023 15:15 (two years ago)

five months pass...

I bet ye were up tae high doh!
― We Buy a Hammer For Dadaismus (Dada), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 16:53 (seventeen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

Couthy continuity announcer on Channel 4 has just used this phrase.

― Tom D has a right to defend himself (Tom D.), Thursday, 30 November 2023 08:01 (two years ago)

fellas I’ve had a good run but I think I’ve finally had the radish

― Humanitarian Pause (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 30 November 2023 09:22 (two years ago)

I heard a Northern Irishman use 'up tae high do' a few years ago, interesting that it had legs, and I always wondered if it was related to 'do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do'

― MaresNest, Thursday, 30 November 2023 10:08 (two years ago)

four months pass...

My sister just sent a message to say she's got some terrible cleg bites on her leg.

cleg: another term for horsefly

― Not waving but droning (Tom D.), Wednesday, 24 April 2024 14:23 (one year ago)

Mercy, that's one I haven't heard in yonks

― Maresn3st, Wednesday, 24 April 2024 15:04 (one year ago)

one year passes...

"In the name of the Wee Man!"

― Schlub 7 (Tom D.), Friday, 27 February 2026 14:39 (three weeks ago)

mid-80s was playing something like Husker Du loud on the family stereo, and my Grandma ducked her head in the door and said "Please turn that Victrola down". Still weirds me out that such temporal overlap existed.

― bendy, Friday, 27 February 2026 16:29 (three weeks ago)

i’m imagining a scratchy 78 of like Al Jolson doing “Books About UFOs”

― Mollusk, Virginia (Boring, Maryland), Friday, 27 February 2026 16:48 (three weeks ago)

My dad in the late 70's wondered aloud if Jerry Lee Lewis was the "hot new rock combo" after "Great Balls of Fire" got played on the AM station the radio had been tuned to. Probably just trying to make conversation, but still!

― henry s, Friday, 27 February 2026 19:07 (three weeks ago)

My own granny was Scottish and had a catch phrase that went something like "hold me fish n' chips or I'll poke yer eyes out!" I always wondered if that was from some old radio program.

― henry s, Friday, 27 February 2026 19:11 (three weeks ago)

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