Worst bond girls

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The Cello player from "The Living Daylights". Terrible!
The fucking skater in "For Your Eyes Only". :(

― 'you' vs. 'radio gnome invisible 3' FITE (ex machina), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:01 (nineteen years ago)

Argh, I just came across this:

The Best Bond film ever made!, October 8, 2005
Reviewer: James Simpson "Jamey" (Luton, United Kingdom) - See all my reviews
For Your Eyes Only, I think, is the best Bond film of all time. It has it all- exciting and realistic action, brilliant acting, beautiful settings, superb directing and productions, excellent production design and a thrilling music score. Roger Moore gives his best and most dangerous performance as Agent OO7. The locations- Madrid, Cortina and Greece, are some of the best in a Bond film. The action is brilliant- the ski and the motorbike chase, the opening helicopter sequence and the climax scene where Bond must climb a massive mountain. The music is also brilliant. This is so much better than Moonraker, or any other Bond film. Buy this one!

― 'you' vs. 'radio gnome invisible 3' FITE (ex machina), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:02 (nineteen years ago)

i thought the skater was purposely an annoying little brat in that movie anyway, wasn't there another more poignant bond lady in For Your Eyes Only?

Anyway I vote Teri Hatcher

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:05 (nineteen years ago)

it's a good film though, 'FYEO'.

i went to college with a bond girl. i repeat this fact often.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:06 (nineteen years ago)

wasn't there another more poignant bond lady in For Your Eyes Only?

yes, the greek chick. i don't like her all that much either.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:06 (nineteen years ago)

xpost re: skater

Yea, but the girl tries to bone Roger Moore who is ancient and craggy there. So bad!

Also: Denise Richards - "I thought Christmas only came once". Awful.

― 'you' vs. 'radio gnome invisible 3' FITE (ex machina), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:07 (nineteen years ago)

this is a covert 'best bond girls' thread and i stake the chick from 'thunderball'.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:08 (nineteen years ago)

i went to college with denise richards.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:08 (nineteen years ago)

Is that the source of your beef with Starship Troopers?

― k/l (Ken L), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:10 (nineteen years ago)

haha

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:11 (nineteen years ago)

she dropped dramsoc like a *stone* when that shit came along.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:12 (nineteen years ago)

yeah, i vote for denise richards & teri hatcher as worst of the recent ones.

Jill St John / "tiffany case" was pretty bad, too.

Where do we stand on Grace Jones?

Claudine Auger(from Thunderball) was horrible. it looked like they had to reshoot her lines/close-ups from a soundstage(watch how they flip between location & set during the "lounging on the beach sequence").

― kingfish hobo juckie (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:14 (nineteen years ago)

Denise Richards tag team with Teri Hatcher (were they in the same one?), was Katie Holmes ever a Bond girl? If not, she should be, just so she can make this list.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:15 (nineteen years ago)

Denise Richards to Bond in the submarine that is about to explode and destroy Istanbul, when he decides to go outside the sub to get to another part of it: "No James, it's too dangerous!"

best = Famke

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:15 (nineteen years ago)

The Cello player from "The Living Daylights". Terrible!
WHAAAAT!?!?

she's one of my favourites...

just look
http://jamesbond007.net/galerie/maryam4.jpg
mmmmmm

talented and beautiful.

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:16 (nineteen years ago)

Famke was brilliant. SO SEXY.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:16 (nineteen years ago)

haha Fatima Blush from Never Say Never Again: "Liar! I am ze best!"

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:16 (nineteen years ago)

I like that line about christmas only coming once a year or whatever, I thought it was pretty risquŽ, but Richards was terrible. She was good in Starship Troopers, where everyone was supposed to be wooden and while I'm ok w/ Bond being camp, I couldn't suspend my disbelief enough to accept her as a goddamn nuclear scientist.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:17 (nineteen years ago)

Jane Seymour in Live and Let Die.
Grace Jones just about gets away with it.

― beanz (beanz), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:17 (nineteen years ago)

The lady who was all butch in one of the Timothy Dalton ones, who was later a sexpot ADA on Law & Order. I recall her being pretty lousy.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:19 (nineteen years ago)

I had a crush on Maryam D'Abo when I was young

― beanz (beanz), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:19 (nineteen years ago)

Was Denise Richards' Russian as bad as I was guessing?

― 'you' vs. 'radio gnome invisible 3' FITE (ex machina), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:19 (nineteen years ago)

"Ursula Andress and Eunice Gayson were both dubbed by the same actress. Gayson's real voice can be heard on the theatrical trailers for the film, included on the DVD release."

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:19 (nineteen years ago)

Isn't Jessica Simpson going to be in the new James Bond movie? She will be the worst of all time.

― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:19 (nineteen years ago)

DENISE RICHARDS

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:19 (nineteen years ago)

Halle Berry was pretty awful, too.

― elmo (allocryptic), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:21 (nineteen years ago)

Did the movie about her character ever come out? Jinx?

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:22 (nineteen years ago)

I think they were only going to make it if Catwoman was a success.

― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:23 (nineteen years ago)

Have you guys ever seen italian porn with the wicked bad moans very obviously dubbed? xpost

― 'you' vs. 'radio gnome invisible 3' FITE (ex machina), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:23 (nineteen years ago)

I think Jill St. Jean was kinda gross, but kind of amazing. She had some good moments acting-wise but was kind of weak.

― 'you' vs. 'radio gnome invisible 3' FITE (ex machina), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:24 (nineteen years ago)

almost all of the 60s bond girls were dubbed by professional actresses.

i fkn hate 'diamonds'.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:25 (nineteen years ago)

Kim Basinger is/was hot.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:26 (nineteen years ago)

I still hold that The World Is Not Enough is overall a really bad flick, w/ the exception of maybe Sophie Marceau and the hot secretary chick from the beginning(tho apparently that actress' English was so bad so couldn't be used as a Bond Girl).

I'm keep my comments on Die Another Day for another post.

― kingfish hobo juckie (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:26 (nineteen years ago)

The lady who was all butch in one of the Timothy Dalton ones, who was later a sexpot ADA on Law & Order. I recall her being pretty lousy.

Richard Gear's wife
http://www.yehey.com/local/entertainment/images/CareyLowell02.JPG

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:28 (nineteen years ago)

Kim Basinger was hot, but i hold that NSNA will only be remembered only as the Bond flick with legwarmers and arcade games(Centipede!).

― kingfish hobo juckie (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:28 (nineteen years ago)

Kim Basinger is only slightly more appealling than Denise Richards! What is wrong with you people?

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:30 (nineteen years ago)

who was the secretary in 'twine'? this matters to me, right now.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:31 (nineteen years ago)

The skiing scene was kind of ok in The World is Not Enough.

― 'you' vs. 'radio gnome invisible 3' FITE (ex machina), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:33 (nineteen years ago)

Maria Grazia Cucinotta

listed as "Cigar Girl." Remember the chick he chases around London, then her balloon blows up? I think this was all in the pre-credits sequence.

― kingfish hobo juckie (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:34 (nineteen years ago)

Also, I'm kinda scared to GIS for her on a work computer...

― kingfish hobo juckie (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:35 (nineteen years ago)

MORE PICTURES PLEASE

― Super Cub (Debito), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:36 (nineteen years ago)

try here

― kingfish hobo juckie (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:37 (nineteen years ago)

hmmm... she's kinda attrractive

― Super Cub (Debito), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:39 (nineteen years ago)

...and i stake the chick from 'thunderball'.

which one?

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:40 (nineteen years ago)

Where do we stand on Grace Jones?

i'd like to see you try to stand on her, dude.

anyway, the bond girl in "view to a kill" is tanya what's-her-name, not grace.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:41 (nineteen years ago)

Also, I'm kinda scared to GIS for her on a work computer...
the 2 above i did on GIS, both had topless pics.

Imagine my disgust...

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:41 (nineteen years ago)

domino

xpost

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:41 (nineteen years ago)

Jane Seymour in L&LD is an interesting case, and grist for folks who like getting into the race issues of that flick. She goes from heavy orientalized Dragon Lady mode(dig that eye makeup!)

http://www.bondmovies.net/girls/jane-seymour3.jpg

to total White Chick In Distress after Bond converts her, to the point where she switches to this all-white diaphonous(sp?) get-up.

http://www.bondmovies.net/girls/jane-seymour1.jpg

― kingfish hobo juckie (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:43 (nineteen years ago)

yea, let's not cheesecake up the thread, plz link images.

― 'you' vs. 'radio gnome invisible 3' FITE (ex machina), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:43 (nineteen years ago)

and factor in the duplicitous black bond girl who gets whacked...

xpost

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:44 (nineteen years ago)

also, Gloria Hendry from L&LD

xpost

― kingfish hobo juckie (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:45 (nineteen years ago)

But doesn't Grace Jones fit into the rare category of both "villain's woman whom bond converts" AND "villain's superhuman henchman"?

random fun fact: Minnie Driver was the russian cowgirl caberet singer in Goldeneye

― kingfish hobo juckie (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:48 (nineteen years ago)

i no likey octopussy, but she isn't exactly a bond girl either.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:49 (nineteen years ago)

But doesn't Grace Jones fit into the rare category of both "villain's woman whom bond converts" AND "villain's superhuman henchman"?

yeah plus she done gets blown up, so not really a bond girl in my estimation. to me, the girl he ends up with at the end of the flick is the real bond girl.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:49 (nineteen years ago)

surely a bond girl is simply a girl that bond has shagged.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:52 (nineteen years ago)

yeah that just doesn't seem right to me.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:54 (nineteen years ago)

god, ian fleming was so subtle when it came to character names

yeah plus she done gets blown up, so not really a bond girl in my estimation. to me, the girl he ends up with at the end of the flick is the real bond girl.

this is true, but while they're been plenty of bad chicks that bond either converts or kills, there was always the seperate meta/superhuman henchman. You had Pussy Galore and Oddjob, for example. Grace Jones was the one exception of bad chick AND metahuman henchman.

oh man, now I'm having flashbacks to all those Moore-era Lotus cars.

― kingfish hobo juckie (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 1 December 2005 16:55 (nineteen years ago)

As for the primary question here, Jill St. John is just terrible as Tiffany Case. Me thinks she doth take the cake for singularly horrible.

As worst tag team, I gotta go Cary Lowell (Pam Bouvier) and Talisa Soto (Lupe Lamora) in License to Kill. Just AWFUL. The whole movie was pretty damn bad, too. Poor Dalton - never got a fair chance.

BEST Duo, however - Tough.
The contestants, in my mind -
Goldeneye - Famke (whew) and Izabella Scorupco.
Goldfinger - The Masterson Sisters and Pussy Galore

AND I know her name gets her mentioned A LOT - almost to the point of being overrated - but Pussy Galore, played by Honor Blackman, is just about perfect as a Bond Girl. Second being Ursula Andress.

Discuss.

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Thursday, 1 December 2005 17:08 (nineteen years ago)

Diana Rigg in OHMSS is great, but its not a proper Bond girl, and its certainly not a proper Bond.

Licence To Kill is such a weird film that I have a soft spot for it. But Dalton was shafted.

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 1 December 2005 17:12 (nineteen years ago)

http://images.art.com/images/PRODUCTS/large/10134000/10134751.jpg

Not sure she actually counts as a "Bond Girl" per se, but one of the lovely ladies draping themselves around the pic of James on this poster right here now works in my office. And she still looks great today.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 1 December 2005 17:28 (nineteen years ago)

three years pass...

Watching For Your Eyes Only now (Spike TV marathon this week) and I gotta change my vote from Denise Richards to Lynn-Holly Johnson. Ugh...

― Chris Barrus (Elvis Telecom), Tuesday, 23 December 2008 07:22 (sixteen years ago)

how many times did we all let lynn-holly johnson copy off our homework, eh fellas.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 23 December 2008 07:24 (sixteen years ago)

every Bond girl ever is better than every Bond ever

― the pinefox, Tuesday, 23 December 2008 12:31 (sixteen years ago)

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