if _______ stars in your movie, i will probably hate it

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1. Adam Sandler
2. Tara Reid
3. Sandra Bullock
4. Ashton Kutcher

― kingfish trampycakes (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 06:26 (twenty years ago)

5. jennifer connolly

― tres letraj (tehresa), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 06:28 (twenty years ago)

really? pre- or post-Mulholland Drive?

― kingfish trampycakes (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 06:38 (twenty years ago)

parker posey

― jim p. irrelevant (electricsound), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 06:41 (twenty years ago)

(actually not quite true, i'll just hate the scenes she's in)

― jim p. irrelevant (electricsound), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 06:42 (twenty years ago)

Julia Roberts

― Sasha (sgh), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 06:44 (twenty years ago)

6. Chris Rock (god bless him, he's not fit to be in a movie. obvious exception to this rule: POOTIE TANG)
7. Post Goodfellas DeNiro
8. Jim Carrey
9. Ben Stiller
10. Ben Affleck
11. Jennifer Lopez (Excepting Anaconda + Out of Sight)
12. Chloe Sevigny
13. Amanda Peet

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 06:44 (twenty years ago)

14. Natalie Portman

― Current Mood: Embarrassing Christian Laettner (Matt Chesnut), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 06:48 (twenty years ago)

she was in mulholland drive?!
xpost

― tres letraj (tehresa), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 06:48 (twenty years ago)

yeah, she was the main brunette.

Connolly in pre-oscar topless voluptousness. mmmm-mmmmm!

― kingfish trampycakes (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 07:00 (twenty years ago)

also, this can be extended to "If I see ______'s face on the video/dvd cover, i know to set fire to it"

― kingfish trampycakes (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 07:03 (twenty years ago)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0166924/
did she get a name change? i don't see her...

― tres letraj (tehresa), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 07:04 (twenty years ago)

you're thinking of mulholland falls

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 07:06 (twenty years ago)

15. Minnie Driver.
ARGH.

― edward o (edwardo), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 07:07 (twenty years ago)

shit, you're right. i am thinking of mulholland falls.

xpost

― kingfish trampycakes (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 07:07 (twenty years ago)

ahhh. i haven't seen that.

but yeah, that girl whines so much i want to reach into the movie and smack the shit out of her. her scenes in the house of sand and fog almost ruined it for me, but luckily ben kingsley saved the day!

― tres letraj (tehresa), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 07:09 (twenty years ago)

we could go for the easy, cheap answer with something like "Pauly Shore", but really, one can easily ignore a Pauly Shore flick(not that any are being made anymore), but there's NOTHING that says "THIS MOVIE WILL EAT DONKEY TURDS AND BE LOVED BY YOUR BROTHER'S GIRLFRIEND AND HER SUBURBAN BREEDER FRIENDS" like Sandra Bullock in your movie.

― kingfish trampycakes (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 07:09 (twenty years ago)

i can't think of any actor who is so definitively axiomatic of a certain type of film that i am guaranteed to hate whatever they are in. schwarzenegger comes close.

hm, sandra bullock. i feel like she's been in some not-bad movies, but i can't think of what they are. 'crash' was certainly terrible.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 07:11 (twenty years ago)

but surely that rehab movie she was in cancels out anything remotely good that she's done!

― tres letraj (tehresa), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 07:12 (twenty years ago)

haha leno rerun and naomi watts is on and he just made the mulholland drive-falls mixup, too!

― tres letraj (tehresa), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 07:46 (twenty years ago)

Val Kilmer. Nothing screams "this movie is a bag of humourless shite" like the inclusion of Val Kilmer. Also, for me, Sean Penn. Do you want a dark, overwrought "actor's" movie about serious men's subjects that will numb you with the weight of its good intentions? Sean Penn's your man.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 07:53 (twenty years ago)

You're excepting Fast Times at Ridgemont High, right?

― Sundar (sundar), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 07:56 (twenty years ago)

Kevin Spacey

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 08:00 (twenty years ago)

Rhys Ifans owns this thread.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 08:02 (twenty years ago)

Val Kilmer. Nothing screams "this movie is a bag of humourless shite" like the inclusion of Val Kilmer.

what about his pre-1990 stuff?

― kingfish trampycakes (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 08:09 (twenty years ago)

Cameron Diaz.

You're excepting Fast Times at Ridgemont High, right?

What about Bad Boys? He was pretty good in that film as well.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 08:13 (twenty years ago)

Oh yeah, and a GIS for "Mulholland Falls" is NSFW in like the first 5 results.

god bless the internet.

― kingfish trampycakes (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 08:16 (twenty years ago)

Kevin Spacey

getting warmer

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 08:19 (twenty years ago)

George Dzundza

― 'Twan (miccio), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 08:21 (twenty years ago)

if fish star in the barrel, i probably won't shoot them.

― mies van der rohffle (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 08:41 (twenty years ago)

Whoopi Mothafuckin' Goldberg
Goldie Hawn
Adam Sandler
The Rock

― Amity Wong (noodle vague), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 08:47 (twenty years ago)

5. jennifer connolly

every film dude i've ever known has crushed MASSIVELY on her, and i sort of understand why (she appears in "smart" movies so it must make her seems "smart" by osmosis; she has that winona-but-less-insane bushy-eyebrows butch quality), but i think she always comes across as cheap and trampy.

― mies van der rohffle (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 09:16 (twenty years ago)

Butch?!?

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 09:20 (twenty years ago)

kinda yeah

― mies van der rohffle (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 09:28 (twenty years ago)

Miguel Ferrer

― howell huser (chaki), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 09:51 (twenty years ago)

Eddie Izzard

― James Ward (jamesmichaelward), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 09:55 (twenty years ago)

Vinnie Jones

― beanz (beanz), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 10:01 (twenty years ago)

Dane Cook. He hasn't been in a movie yet but he will and i fear the day. He must be stopped.

― howell huser (chaki), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 10:04 (twenty years ago)

Johnny Depp
Edward Norton
Helena Bonham Carter

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (and His Endless Stupid Jokes) (Dada), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 10:21 (twenty years ago)

kate fucken winslet
meryll streep
hugh grant

― d90 (d90), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 10:22 (twenty years ago)

Uma Thurman
Daryl Hannah
Cameron Diaz

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (and His Endless Stupid Jokes) (Dada), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 10:24 (twenty years ago)

Julia Roberts
Any of the Wayans
Robert De Niro (!)

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 10:26 (twenty years ago)

Vanessa Redgrave

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (and His Endless Stupid Jokes) (Dada), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 10:28 (twenty years ago)

Bjork!

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (and His Endless Stupid Jokes) (Dada), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 10:30 (twenty years ago)

I am excepting Fast Times, yes.
Val Kilmer. Nothing screams "this movie is a bag of humourless shite" like the inclusion of Val Kilmer.
what about his pre-1990 stuff?

All of it. It's all shite. ALL OF IT.

Johnny Depp? Really? Even Donny Brasco?

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 11:58 (twenty years ago)

BUT WHAT ABOUT HEAT? SURELY EVERYONE LOVES HEAT? IT'S LIKE THE BEST MOVIE EVER.

― barbarian cities (jaybob3005), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 12:00 (twenty years ago)

Haven't seen "Donnie Brasco" but I've hated him in everything else I've seen him in (xpost)

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (and His Endless Stupid Jokes) (Dada), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 12:00 (twenty years ago)

Try and see Pirates of the Carribean, he's great in that.

Heat is surely the most overrated movie in the history of forever.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 12:16 (twenty years ago)

Hayden Christiansen
Orlando Bloom

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 12:22 (twenty years ago)

Keira Knightley

― sgs (sgs), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 12:58 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 141 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Vin Diesel is the Iron Giant. Can't touch "superman..." dude.
Marisa Tomei is a good vote. Lately, Meryl Streep.
Edie Falco has bad luck too.
Hayden Christianson hasn't been mentioned, has she?
Bette Midler.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 07:24 (twenty years ago)

i used to detest naomi watts but then i realized it's just because her american accents aren't very good. once i got over that, i don't mind her as much.

― tres letraj (tehresa), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 07:28 (twenty years ago)

I'm thinking that the upcoming Ghost Rider will change all your minds about Nicholas Cage(and his hairpiece).

― kingfish trampycakes (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 07:34 (twenty years ago)

sgs: that woul be Bend It Like Beckham.

Jimmy_tango: Hell no! Vin Diesel's no longer on my "If he's in a movie, I have to see that" list, but he's still a very watchable actor (who's made a record number of bad career decisions).

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 09:33 (twenty years ago)

Laurence Harvey

... has there ever been a worse professional actor?

― We Buy a Hammer For Dadaismus (Dada), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 13:51 (twenty years ago)

Lassie, Rin Tin Tin and all other hero dogs.

― mzui (mzui), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 14:21 (twenty years ago)

"Laurence Harvey

...has there ever been a worse professional actor?"

Can't think of one. But sometimes his woodeness is just right (room at the top, manchurian candidate -though both of those probably would have been better with someone else)).

― steve ketchup, Wednesday, 7 December 2005 15:11 (twenty years ago)

Dud

― k/l (Ken L), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 15:15 (twenty years ago)

I heart Diane Lane but it may well be true that she has never appeared in a good movie.

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 15:17 (twenty years ago)

(films starring Diane Lane that I have seen: Jack, Judge Dredd, My New Gun, Trigger Happy)

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 15:18 (twenty years ago)

she was in rumble fish, that was good!

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 15:22 (twenty years ago)

Mel Gibson (except Mad Max / Road Warrior)

I can't remember diane lane in rumblefish, but it was good.

― steve ketchup, Wednesday, 7 December 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

Gerard D.:

C'mon he was great as Cyrano and good in 'A Pure Formality' too.

― M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 20:41 (twenty years ago)

I thought it was the Outsiders, not Rumble Fish. Though it could be both.

Anyway, 98% of you are completely insane, shocker. kingfish, several of your posts on this thread about Jennifer Connolly actually turned my stomach--well done!

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 21:02 (twenty years ago)

Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, and Leonardo DiCaprio are basically guaranteed hateable for me, to answer the question. Kirsten Dunst is too except she's in movies that I generally like overall, inexplicably.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 21:03 (twenty years ago)

John Travolta, John Travolta, John Travolta, John Travolta.
The fact that I find Pulp Fiction repeatedly watchable is a fantastic credit to everybody else involved with that film, especially Bruce Willis, for shooting that stupid, smug-looking motherfucker full of fat holes while he's reading archie comics on the toilet. I hate John Travolta so fuckin' much. I would rather watch a Tom Cruise, Nick Cage or Mel Gibson movie before I watch anything else with John Travolta in it. God, I fuckin' hate him.

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 7 December 2005 21:11 (twenty years ago)

You don't like Saturday Night Fever?

― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 21:14 (twenty years ago)

I sat through it, for the same reason I sat through Easy Rider and Citizen Kane. And you know what? I think they're all boring shit.

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 7 December 2005 21:17 (twenty years ago)

kingfish, several of your posts on this thread about Jennifer Connolly actually turned my stomach--well done!

wow, italics tag & everything! wtf.

Still, I haven't seen "Requiem For a Dream", or anything she's been in after that. Don't see much point in doing so, either.

― kingfish trampycakes (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 21:24 (twenty years ago)

She's too old.

― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 21:25 (twenty years ago)

Rene Russo (god that Yours, Mine, and Ours preview was horrible to see)
Leonardo diCaprio (since about 1998)
Billy Crudup

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 21:28 (twenty years ago)

If you hate Jennifer Connelly, you should definitely see Requiem for a Dream.

― Erick Dampier is better than Shaq (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 21:30 (twenty years ago)

Tim Allen
That Big Fat Greek Wedding Bitch

― detoxyDancer (sexyDancer), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 21:30 (twenty years ago)

ETHAN HAWKE

― Polysix Bad Battery (cprek), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 21:41 (twenty years ago)

OTM

― detoxyDancer (sexyDancer), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 21:43 (twenty years ago)

TOMBOT OTM re Travolta (not Citizen Kane or Easy Rider). SNF is classic (like Mel in Road Warrior). Every Idiot has a bright moment in them, they just spend the rest of their lives proving it was a lapse.

Ethan Hawke, absolutely.

Jenifer Connelly is great in Requiem and always a babe.

― steve ketchup, Wednesday, 7 December 2005 22:23 (twenty years ago)

Ethan Hawke has completely redeemed his existence in the last couple of years. He's good in Training Day, Escape from Precinct 13, Before Sunset and Tape.

― Erick Dampier is better than Shaq (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 22:32 (twenty years ago)

i dont give a shit about actors enough for them to annoy that much. usually.

― latebloomer: The Corridor (Yes, The Corridor) (latebloomer), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 22:33 (twenty years ago)

xpost: he did smoke PCP in Training Day.

― detoxyDancer (sexyDancer), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 22:37 (twenty years ago)

TOM HANKS

― latebloomer: The Corridor (Yes, The Corridor) (latebloomer), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 22:39 (twenty years ago)

so, uh, you all heard about Mel Gibson's Holocaust project, right?

― kingfish trampycakes (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 23:16 (twenty years ago)

I saw Jennifer Connelly on the street today and thought of this thread.
So lame of me.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 8 December 2005 06:50 (twenty years ago)

three years pass...

edward norton
debra messing

― buzza, Monday, 17 August 2009 18:44 (sixteen years ago)

Robin Williams and Mel Gibson take this for me

― young depardieu looming out of void in hour of profound triumph (Le Bateau Ivre), Monday, 17 August 2009 18:49 (sixteen years ago)

Jason Fucken Biggs

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Monday, 17 August 2009 18:50 (sixteen years ago)

^ timely

― congratulations (n/a), Monday, 17 August 2009 18:51 (sixteen years ago)

Will Ferrell.

― chap, Monday, 17 August 2009 19:05 (sixteen years ago)

Tyler Perry

― Your heartbeat soun like sasquatch feet (polyphonic), Monday, 17 August 2009 19:07 (sixteen years ago)

most of the people that tend to star in movies.

― free jazz and mumia (sarahel), Monday, 17 August 2009 19:16 (sixteen years ago)

how the fuck could i forget tom hanks? (i am excepting some of the really old stuff though)

― Nathalie (stevienixed), Monday, 17 August 2009 19:29 (sixteen years ago)

Julia Roberts

― Super Cub, Monday, 17 August 2009 19:34 (sixteen years ago)

Kevin Costner

― Zeno, Monday, 17 August 2009 19:50 (sixteen years ago)

Kirk Cameron

― circa1916, Monday, 17 August 2009 20:53 (sixteen years ago)

an animated penguin

― free jazz and mumia (sarahel), Monday, 17 August 2009 21:21 (sixteen years ago)

white ppl

― jveggra va pbqr (Lamp), Monday, 17 August 2009 21:22 (sixteen years ago)

Andrew Farrell's post is OTM and proves there are almost always exceptions.

Ryan Phillippe, though I have to admit I liked Way of the Gun and Gosford Park, but I feel both movies would have been much better with someone else in his roles. I had some espionage thriller flick he was in on my Netflix queue for like 2 years that I kept pushing back, and it eventually made its way to my home, and I sent it back without watching it.

Ben Affleck. I did enjoy that car crash movie he was in with Samuel Jackson where he played an entitled rich asshole. His bro Casey is much better.

Keanu Reeves. Did a good job basically playing himself in the first Matrix, but one reason the sequels sucked so bad is because he had to be all heroic and shit. For many years, it never failed that this talentless anus was cast in movies that I would have wanted to see otherwise.

Same deal with Johnny Depp, though to a lesser degree (and I do think he is great in certain roles - flamboyant ones like Fear and Loathing and Pirates). I had zero desire to go see Public Enemies because of this dude. Something about him just rings false to me.

Definitely agree with people upthread about Sandra Bullock and Minnie Driver (not that Driver has a career anymore). They are both like kryptonite.

― Highly trained BBQ chef (rockapads), Tuesday, 18 August 2009 01:49 (sixteen years ago)

Ryan Reynolds

― Detroit Metal City (Nicole), Tuesday, 18 August 2009 01:55 (sixteen years ago)

actually John Travolta is a pretty big one. even as a villain.

― Highly trained BBQ chef (rockapads), Tuesday, 18 August 2009 02:04 (sixteen years ago)

James Woods
Renee Zellwegger
Zach Efron

― VegemiteGrrrl, Tuesday, 18 August 2009 02:14 (sixteen years ago)

can't really think of any actors like this. i know i said tom hanks upthread, but i don't mind him anymore. at least he's not a scientologist.

― i have the new brutal truth if you want it (latebloomer), Tuesday, 18 August 2009 02:35 (sixteen years ago)

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