Pandas versus Gene Shalit: Who Wins?

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And why?

― Joe, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I appreciate obscurity.

Pandas were born that way, Gene Shalit intentionally made himself look like that. Therefore Gene Shalit wins because he put work into it.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The panda wins becasue although cute THEY ARE BADASSES! I have sen them rip sharks apart. Or something. The are like China: Cute for afar but up close you see the fangs.

― Mike Hanley, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Gene Shalit. Who he?

― Billy Dods, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Is it my imagination or are the posts on this board just getting more and more and more obscure? Come on, it's 9am! Give me some back story here!

― masonic boom, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

How are pandas badasses? They do nothing but eat, they refuse to eat anything apart from bamboo and they never seem to be able to get it on with each other. That's not very badass in my book. And they most definitely do not rip sharks to bits.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I want to know who Gene Shalit is or I shall THROW A THABLE THOM STYLE TEMPER TANTRUM!!!

― masonic boom, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Never mind. I googled and found out that he is actually an interstellar space formation involving the birth of stars.

So clearly, Gene Shalit. I mean... we're talking about NEBULAE here! What can a panda possibly hope to score against something 6 trillion light years across?

― masonic boom, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Nebulae with a funky ol' noodle catching moustachio, that is.

― Kim, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

He is that silly i like all shit produced by Hollywood GMA critic right ? anyway Pandas would win .

― anthony, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No, he's the silly little "I like all shit" movie critic from _The Today Show_. An ace at concocting crappy alliterations. I believe the GMA critic's name is Charles Gibson - he happens to be a co-host of the show as well. That's not a conflict of interest, though. (Or is it Joel Siegel? He's not a co-host.)

Despite Gene Shalit being a human Ch-ch-ch-chia Pet, I give the edge to the pandas. After playing _Tekken III_, and seeing their dance moves and flatulence, Shalit and his Living Moustache don't have a chance.

Question: Shalit's moustache VS Tom's beard - who wins?

― David Raposa, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Pandas can kick your ass!They have huge teeth! And paws of power! Kate, he is a movie reviewer with a supernatural mustache

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Shalit's moustache - a cross between a waxy handlebar 'stache (found on most Dastardly Dans with a fetish for damsels & railroad tracks) & Robin Williams' back hair.

― David Raposa, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

If a panda threatened to kick my arse, I'd spray pesticide on his bamboo. That'd stop him.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

This assumes that the panda eats the bamboo before kicking your ass...

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

OK, make it fast acting herbicide. Panda has to eat ludicrous amounts of bamboo in a day and so will be distracted by sudden threat to life via bamboo death and go off and try and save some of it.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

So who here watched that damn Pandamonium mid-eighties Saturday morning cartoon, then? ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It's big news when panda's breed in this country (USA). It's never news when Gene Shalit breeds which is strange because I heard he carries his offspring around in his moustache. Apparently his children live off of the crumbs that accumulate above is upper lip. The circumcisions are performed by his barber etc, etc.

― Steven James, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

DIdn't they try to mate Gene Shallot with a panda but the panda rejected him? It was a sad day for everyone in zoology

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yep. Lately zoology has been in a bit of a funk. Hopefully things'll pick up.

― Steven James, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh, no! I think I know where of you speak, Ned, re: that cartoon. (Though I might be getting confused with _Monchichis_.) Some sort of amulet, pandas with strange star shapes around their eyes like Ace Frehely...is that what you're talking about?

― David Raposa, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Something like that. I forgot about the possible Kiss connection, though.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Kiss wear the colors of the panda, black and white. Hmmmm. MAybe they love Gene SHallot

― Mike Hanle y, Tuesday, 17 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

seven months pass...

Damn you! You have insulted my master! My powerful Drunken Panda technique will finish you...Heee-YAAAAAH!!

― Joe, Saturday, 9 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two years pass...

gene shalit must win. i mean pandas? come on.

http://www.letpandasdie.com

― L.P.D! Webmaster (letpandasdie.com), Saturday, 9 October 2004 03:03 (twenty-one years ago)

eight months pass...

revive!

― get to thA CHOPPA / A++++++ SELLER (ex machina), Wednesday, 6 July 2005 00:25 (twenty years ago)

Why aren't there any Panda Pictures on here?

― giboyeux (skowly), Wednesday, 6 July 2005 00:46 (twenty years ago)

three years pass...

http://photos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v2487/43/43/584230638/n584230638_2668526_900919.jpg

― f f murray abraham (G00blar), Tuesday, 10 March 2009 11:15 (seventeen years ago)

dreadful creatures

― See you dudes on the G train (rent), Tuesday, 10 March 2009 11:23 (seventeen years ago)

eleven years pass...

Gene Shalit be written. Gene Shalit be done.

― peace, man, Tuesday, 4 August 2020 17:09 (five years ago)

five years pass...

happy 100th, king

― jaymc, Wednesday, 25 March 2026 22:10 (one month ago)

wow... he is indeed a centenarian. Must be the cigars

― Andy the Grasshopper, Wednesday, 25 March 2026 22:51 (one month ago)

Wild to think that he was alive during the Silent Era.

― Lithium Just Madison (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 25 March 2026 23:12 (one month ago)

My mom went on a date with him half a century ago.

― disco stabbing horror (lukas), Wednesday, 25 March 2026 23:45 (one month ago)

I wanna know what the hell this was about, per his Wikipedia page:

Shalit, according to a Dick Clark interview in The New York Times Magazine, was Clark's press agent in the early 1960s. Shalit reportedly "stopped representing" Clark during a Congressional investigation of payola. Clark never spoke to Shalit again, and referred to him as a "jellyfish".

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 27 March 2026 21:00 (one month ago)

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