Attending Social Events "On Time".

yeah, like when I had my eviction party - we said that it started at 10pm, not expecting anyone at all to show up until at least midnight. Then some people started trickling in around 10:30, and we were all like WTF ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING HERE SO EARLY? PARTYS NOT STARTED YET. GO AWAY. I was still in my pajamas and my roommate might of had curlers in her hair.

its much better to arrive at a party when everyone is already there instead of getting there early and having to suffer chatting with all the other bores who got there on time. no?

If it's a dinner-type event though, on-time is important.

i hate showing up to a party "on time" because i hate being one of the first people there and trying to make awkward small talk until things really get going.

hahaha yeah. I was always saying to my gf, "Have a drink. Please, for the love of Christ, have a drink. You going to make me have to kill you if you don't stop freaking the fuck out."

Actually, this turned sour once. I had to kill a girlfriend because she was so upset about her onion dip not turning out. It was a senseless waste.

I'm shithouse at dinner party timing =) Ive reverted to finger food and table-loads of nibblies instead.

I am roffling at Phil's story, though.

Apparently the right protocol is arriving 15 minutes late (for dinner), so I heard on the radio this morning.

haha, well put.

I love turning up to parties early (=on time) and getting an opprtunity to actually talk to the hosts. On the flipside, the few parties I host tend to feature me turning into a neurotic mess as the minute hand inches towards five past and there's NO-ONE THERE!

or something.

I have really had to work at being appropriately late to parties.

-- Nathalie

See, Belgian radio is great and actually tells you useful things. I am chronically late for everything.

normal sitting around get drunk parties you say a time for when it starts that's why some people phrase it for example "from 8" implying that things get started from 8 and you can turn up whenever.

eating parties, you say a time and then you will time for food to be done after a "reasonable" time after the start time (e.g. in london allowing for transport mishaps). it is reasonable to assume most people will be endeavouring to get there for the start time, to have a sit down, and get themselves in the mood for food, perhaps with some light snacks on the table.

and if one is going to be very late for dinner the reasonable thing would be calling the host so that they know what's happening and don't have to wonder how long they will have to wait for you to arrive (and thus can make the decision of whether to start without you and keep something in the oven or something for you)

turning up really early (like over 30 minutes early - unless travelling in from afar in which case that's fair enough as it's hard to judge the timings) can be bothersome for the host if they are still preparing (especially if it's just one person being the host), perhaps offer to help with the preparation.

For a party party starting at 8pm, I'd turn up around 10pm.

For my Dad's 60th birthday, my Mum booked a table in a restaurant for 7.30pm, then wrote on the invitations 7.00 for 7.30. WTF? The waiting staff is going absolutely ecstatic about a big party showing up half an hour before their booking, aren't they? It wasn't even as if there was a bar in the restaurant. I had words with her about it, but too late - the invitations had already gone.

I mean, hell. 8:00. You might as well be meeting somewhere for lunch.

xpost 8pm in NY means 1am in the UK i think.

Sauce!

if the party involves drinking and hanging out, it depend on how close you are to the host that decides your arrival time. if you dont know the host very well, i dont suggest arriving on the early side, but if its one of your best friends, thats probably OK. [in fact, your friend will probably want your help setting up or face time before they have to be super-social] in philadelphia, 11pm seems to be the official arrival time for social events, but i guess thats probably a good universal standard.

as for me, if someone gives me a time for a party that isnt the usual late night drunken debauchery, im going to stick to it. obviously, there's a reason for giving a time and i should respect it. i take after my dad; im really good about showing up to work on time. my mother, on the other hand...

So, the gig in question (which - I failed to point out -- was happening in a restaurant, not someone's home) was scheduled for 8pm. We didn't really get out the door until 8:10 pm (this happens a lot when you have a baby, let alone a pregnant wife who is notoriously slow when it comes to getting ready to go out). So, my Mom came to babysit (a bonus: you don't have to pay her), and out we went. We didn't arrive at the party until, like, 8:25 or so. We get there, the place is packed, but there's still room for us. Hors D'oevres were served, but no entrees had. So, technically, we were perfectly "on time" (and lots of folks rolled in after us). The problem, in this instance, was really the planning. With certain folks not showing up "on time," the ordering of entrees kept getting put off (leaving most of us to gorge heavily on the bread and hors d'oevres). After a while -- with my Mrs. not being able to drink, as she's pregnant -- we were kinda ready to go. So, after being there for about an hour and a half (we had a nice time and chatted with everyone, so that was cool), we ended up having to split before the entrees even got ordered. Overall, it was a fun night out, but I -- for one -- left feeling a little famished. But, y'know, that's life.

Sometimes if you get to a party too late it become hard to penetrate the core layers of the party -- some people have already established a whole social ecology of long-term party-residents, and you'll always just be extraneous to that, kind of a cameo. Basically I think the expectation is that everyone is there right in the middle of the party -- so I suppose you should figure out how much time you want to spend at the thing, and arrive such that your stay is exactly centered on that middle.