Modern Things We Need Servants For (Or, Aristocratic Tastes, Worker Toil/Apathy)

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1. Cleaning up one's harddrive.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:08 (twenty years ago)

2. Burning all this stuff to cd.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:09 (twenty years ago)

id like a personal internet xmas shopper and shipper right now

― sunny successor (katharine), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:11 (twenty years ago)

roomba battery replacer

― sunny successor (katharine), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:11 (twenty years ago)

researching expensive/anxiety-causing purchases, e.g., digital camera

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:12 (twenty years ago)

I don't need a servant, I need a robot. You wouldn't have to feel bad about neglecting a Haley Joel Osment robot houseboy.

― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:12 (twenty years ago)

You might even enjoy it!

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:13 (twenty years ago)

(sorry, I was thinking of abuse, rather than neglect)

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:13 (twenty years ago)

I would like a robot-servant really.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:15 (twenty years ago)

going to the laundromat, doing all laundry at once, having enough quarters

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:15 (twenty years ago)

Well, verbal abuse, maybe. Even hitting a corny Haley Joel Osmentbot would make me feel guilty.

― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:15 (twenty years ago)

ipod updater/playlistmaker

― sunny successor (katharine), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:17 (twenty years ago)

Hitting an Osmentbot would make me feel guilty for doing it over and over, when I needed to be working.

― Erick Dampier is better than Shaq (miloaukerman), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:17 (twenty years ago)

Do androids cry electric tears?

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:18 (twenty years ago)

HD cleaning is totally fun! I am a technofiftieshousewife about stuff like that.

I would like a servant to make my bed in the morning, which I have to do every morning because my landlady makes my bed every day when I am out at work anyway and letting her do this to an unmade bed feels like giving in.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:20 (twenty years ago)

lawn mower, christmas lights hanger, bedroom cleaner, job hunter, door-to-door campaigner...

car washer

― kingfish holiday travesty (kingfish 2.0), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:21 (twenty years ago)

maintenance/digital-cataloguing of sticky-note collection

(You would make a good modern servant, G! probably a good side job.)

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:21 (twenty years ago)

Someone to manage my wardrobe -- take things to tailor/dry cleaner/cobbler, make sure underthings are laid out so I always have the right color & style when needed, buy extra stockings for when I rip 'em, go out and source ocean-blue leather gloves in gauntlet length to match my mother's scarf, you get the idea. Because seriously, if you have a day job there is NO TIME for this shit, that's why looking fabulous is normally the province of Ladies Who Lunch (except they're usually lame-O), trust fund recipients, and hipsters who wait tables and don't have to be at work until noon.

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:22 (twenty years ago)

Do androids cry electric tears?
-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...) (webmail), Today 2:18 PM. (Huk-L) (later)

windex tears

― sunny successor (katharine), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:23 (twenty years ago)

that would be sweet. better than boring spray bottles.

laurel otm.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

Because seriously, if you have a day job there is NO TIME for this shit, that's why looking fabulous is normally the province of Ladies Who Lunch (except they're usually lame-O), trust fund recipients, and hipsters who wait tables and don't have to be at work until noon.
-- Laurel (sininspac...) (webmail), Today 2:22 PM. (Laurel) (later)

hipster dont look good. they look like, well, robots. which look good. shite!

― sunny successor (katharine), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

Landscaping, housecleaning, babysitting, dishwashing, cooking, hauling trash, working in slaughterhouses, making clothes...WHAT THE F#CK?! Where is the SHAME? Grrr.

Have yourself a joyless little Christmas.

Oh yeah, sorry for being a hipster who waits tables. Let me tell you, it's really "easy" work.

― viborgu, Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

returning library books

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:32 (twenty years ago)

talking to parents about computers/internet

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:36 (twenty years ago)

Viborgu, I'm not saying it's easy, waiting tables is The Devil's Work! I'm just saying my friends who've done it (at better restaurants, natch) have made enough to live better than I do by working considerably fewer hours a week.

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 15 December 2005 20:42 (twenty years ago)

Bartenders make hundreds of dollars an hour just drinking fernet and smoking.

― andy --, Thursday, 15 December 2005 23:28 (twenty years ago)

Parking valet - although, if you please, just make some fucking spaces available and I'll park it myself.

― D.I.Y. U.N.K.L.E. (dave225.3), Thursday, 15 December 2005 23:30 (twenty years ago)

Valet vs Hipster WAR!

― viborgu, Friday, 16 December 2005 09:41 (twenty years ago)

Apologising

― Rumpie (lil drummer girl parumpumpumpu), Friday, 16 December 2005 10:03 (twenty years ago)

Gift wrapping. NEAT gift wrapping, not the haphazard mess I make of it.

― C J (C J), Friday, 16 December 2005 14:44 (twenty years ago)

going to the bathroom

― latebloomer: Deutsch Bag (latebloomer), Friday, 16 December 2005 14:47 (twenty years ago)

I was thinking about this last night and it strikes me that there's nothing controversial about the fact that those of us who live alone (or at least constitute our own "household") just can't do EVERYthing. I can't earn the money and do every single thing required to make my person and home fabulous (or even functional) all the damn time. I sew! I like making clothes! And if I didn't have to work 40+ hrs/wk in my chosen biz, I would ADORE to spend time slaving over accessories & shoe choices & planting herbs & canning peaches -- I would love to have it all, to be as much of a household success as my mother was and rock the office in addition to. Verdict? Not gonna happen.

I might get bored after a couple of months, though, which is why I'll take my current juggling act over the prospect of ever having to ask someone else for pocket money.

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:17 (twenty years ago)

Life's a lot like the Sims. There's just not enough hours in the day to wash, dress, work and pee.

― Rumpie (lil drummer girl parumpumpumpu), Friday, 16 December 2005 15:21 (twenty years ago)

Or, there is time, but you have to make decisions on how to spend it, and sometimes the things you must do lean the way of repetitive and/or boring and that's when one tends to throw one's hands up and declare "oh, woe, where is my hypothetical robot-servant!" I AM ALL FOR ROBOTS. And at some level we're all "servants" to something/one, which is part of the joke here; there's some level of repression caused by these modern time-drags but we deal with it b/c it's not "that bad, could be far far worse, how can i complain when i am obviously privileged here" obv.

However, when you're trying to do a job that's important to you (intellectual, physical, money-making, whatever), cleaning up one's harddrive seems to distract from that job, yet it must be done in order to do the other stuff. A lot of little things that hold this shit together seem to distract at the same time, and when you're interested in a lot of things, it can get overwhelming.

ROBOTS NOW.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:56 (twenty years ago)

destroying my enemies

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 16:58 (twenty years ago)

Posting on ILX

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 16 December 2005 17:23 (twenty years ago)

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