what do we tell a friend to convince her not to get a boob job?

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i don't think "they're lame" is gonna work

― jaxon (jaxon), Thursday, 15 December 2005 23:45 (twenty years ago)

show her that pic of courtney love

― jim p. irrelevant (electricsound), Thursday, 15 December 2005 23:47 (twenty years ago)

is this a reduction or an enlargement?

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 15 December 2005 23:48 (twenty years ago)

I saw a programme about boob jobs. This womans job was so botched she ended up with implants at the top and her actual boobs below that: so four boobs.

Because of this all sorts of things went wrong culminating in her nipple rotting away and eventually falling off in the showed like a goddamn escape hatch.

― Hairy Asshurt (Toaster), Thursday, 15 December 2005 23:49 (twenty years ago)

they ARE lame

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 15 December 2005 23:49 (twenty years ago)

Show her a picture of Tara Reid.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 15 December 2005 23:49 (twenty years ago)

find an old stretch armstrong doll and tell this is what her teats will feel like.

― shookout (shookout), Thursday, 15 December 2005 23:49 (twenty years ago)

The only men who like fake boobs (and I don't personally know any) are fucking assholes.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 15 December 2005 23:51 (twenty years ago)

Buy her a bunch of really expensive shirts that fit better without boobs.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 16 December 2005 00:01 (twenty years ago)

tell her that, unless he's an asshole, breasts aren't as important to a man as women think they are? that if there were a man who didn't want her pre-fake tits but did post, he's not worth being with anyway? that they're ugly? expensive? posibly dangerous? cause her to pay higher insurance? will be uncomfortable to sleep on (i mean for her)?

― oops (Oops), Friday, 16 December 2005 00:04 (twenty years ago)

Alex OTM x1000

― TOMBOT, Friday, 16 December 2005 00:06 (twenty years ago)

also: get her to listen to the loooooooong litany of complaints naturally large-breasted women have about their boobs (back problems, difficulty w/clothing, w/excercise, sexual harrasment, bullshit from other women who automatically are jealous/think they're whores, etc.)

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 16 December 2005 00:07 (twenty years ago)

tell her that "sensitive" indie boys aren't into tits. (they're not!)

― the people are such untight s wads (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 December 2005 00:11 (twenty years ago)

what?

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 16 December 2005 00:12 (twenty years ago)

jody we're trying to think up stuff that will convince her NOT to get them.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 16 December 2005 00:13 (twenty years ago)

I can't believe this hasn't turned into a picture thread yet.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 16 December 2005 00:14 (twenty years ago)

so glad i'm not a sensitive indie boy

― jim p. irrelevant (electricsound), Friday, 16 December 2005 00:15 (twenty years ago)

Tell her you will feel compelled to play with them in public.

― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 16 December 2005 00:20 (twenty years ago)

This is silly, all men like tits. I'm thinking of all of my male acquaintences, straight/bi/gay, and all of them really like a nice pair of tits.

The big issue with implants is that most of them aren't nice, and for the amount you'd have to pay for some nice ones you could get something much more useful, like a car.

― Dan (Waiting For The "Misogynist!" Catcalls) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 December 2005 00:21 (twenty years ago)

implants /= "nice pair of tits". implants = weird plastic creepiness.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 16 December 2005 00:22 (twenty years ago)

(iow Dan OTM)

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 16 December 2005 00:23 (twenty years ago)

Dan I don't think anyone here has said they don't like tits!

― oops (Oops), Friday, 16 December 2005 00:25 (twenty years ago)

tell her that "sensitive" indie boys aren't into tits. (they're not!)

― Dan (Um...) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 December 2005 00:27 (twenty years ago)

scare quotes, ppl

― the people are such untight s wads (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 16 December 2005 00:27 (twenty years ago)

well i'm not into fine wines but that doesn't mean i won't suck some down when it's in front of me

― oops (Oops), Friday, 16 December 2005 00:29 (twenty years ago)

Put oops in front of her, jaxon.

― Dan (SLURPY SLURPY) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 December 2005 00:30 (twenty years ago)

that would convince her of too many things

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 16 December 2005 00:30 (twenty years ago)

slurp

― oops (Oops), Friday, 16 December 2005 00:31 (twenty years ago)

ladies and gentleman, the wit of rjg

― oops (Oops), Friday, 16 December 2005 00:32 (twenty years ago)

very convincing

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 16 December 2005 00:34 (twenty years ago)

we'll need to see some "before" pictures in order to offer better advice

― nein Socken (nein Socken), Friday, 16 December 2005 00:55 (twenty years ago)

dan perry, rjg otm

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:10 (twenty years ago)

Boobs are the greatest thing in the world, why mess with 'em? Esp. with a knife.

― I do feel guilty for getting any perverse amusement out of it (Rock Hardy), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:13 (twenty years ago)

vs.

well i'm not into fine wines but that doesn't mean i won't suck some down when it's in front of me

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:13 (twenty years ago)

stick up ass vs. douchebag

― oops (Oops), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:15 (twenty years ago)

but who needs to choose when there's you

― oops (Oops), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:16 (twenty years ago)

why shouldn't she get a boob job?

― don weiner (don weiner), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:17 (twenty years ago)

next, convince her not to wear makeup.

― don weiner (don weiner), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:18 (twenty years ago)

oh you card

― jim p. irrelevant (electricsound), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:19 (twenty years ago)

haha

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:19 (twenty years ago)

Unless she's concave, dud.

― I do feel guilty for getting any perverse amusement out of it (Rock Hardy), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:20 (twenty years ago)

if she wants a boob job, who gives a shit. What's next, you try to figure out how to convince her to stop coloring her hair?

Walleyed nipples are not the end of the world anyway.

― don weiner (don weiner), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:24 (twenty years ago)

we heard you the first time

― jim p. irrelevant (electricsound), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:25 (twenty years ago)

there are health concerns. also: tools perving

― gear (gear), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:25 (twenty years ago)

there are health concerns for dyeing your hair, smoking, being overweight, not exercising, eating poorly, and about a million other things.

― don weiner (don weiner), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:29 (twenty years ago)

I think that emailing her a link to this thread should be all the convincing she needs by this point.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:30 (twenty years ago)

I'll be the first to tell her that she has beautiful eyes.

― don weiner (don weiner), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:31 (twenty years ago)

There is a big difference between a boob job and colouring your hair or wearing makeup.

What are the health concerns of dyeing your hair, exactly?

― Cathy (Cathy), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:32 (twenty years ago)

BRAIN CANCER, HELLO

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:33 (twenty years ago)

scalp lesions!

― gear (gear), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:34 (twenty years ago)

follicle leakage!

― gear (gear), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:34 (twenty years ago)

UGLY HAIR

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:35 (twenty years ago)

legionnaire's disease

― oops (Oops), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:36 (twenty years ago)

yul brenner's syndrome

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:37 (twenty years ago)

What are the health concerns of dyeing your hair, exactly?

long term damage to follicles.

The health risks I mentioned are all different, including that for implants. But heart disease is a much bigger health risk than implants, and so is smoking. My point is that telling her not to do it for health reasons is pretty nebulous--I assume that she is wanting to improve her body image, and whatever the underlying reasons for that we can only speculate. To that, I am going to assume that her current breast size adversely affects her gender and sexual self-esteem. It is reasonable to assume that she wants bigger boobs because she thinks it will make her more attractive, and that's probably true.

The fact remains that this, from a healthcare complication perspective, is a very low risk elective surgery.

― don weiner (don weiner), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:47 (twenty years ago)

it's probably true that she thinks it will make her more attractive or that it will make her more attractive?

― gear (gear), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:50 (twenty years ago)

we won't know 'til we see those pics

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:52 (twenty years ago)

I will now add that I know 4-5 women who got boob jobs in their late 30s.

And that no matter how illogical it is to be disappointed in them, I look at them as somehow emotionally inferior.

― don weiner (don weiner), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:53 (twenty years ago)

Think how popular big boobs would be if there was a pill you could take to make them bigger.

― don weiner (don weiner), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:54 (twenty years ago)

I read a study once where the biggest fear of getting a boob job was the surgery.

― don weiner (don weiner), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:54 (twenty years ago)

I like those shirts that say "My eyes are up here" with an arrow pointing up.

― don weiner (don weiner), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:55 (twenty years ago)

OK, NOW email her the link to this thread.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:56 (twenty years ago)

wait, no one has started posting pictures yet.

― don weiner (don weiner), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:57 (twenty years ago)

yeah i always kill with that one.

xpost

― geoff (gcannon), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:58 (twenty years ago)

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Friday, 16 December 2005 01:59 (twenty years ago)

from the ever convincing Awful Plastic Surgery.com

http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/lindsay_lohan_weird_boob_de.jpg

― don weiner (don weiner), Friday, 16 December 2005 02:00 (twenty years ago)

Lohan's scar tissue

― don weiner (don weiner), Friday, 16 December 2005 02:02 (twenty years ago)

at least we don't live in a celebrity-obsessed culture where people aspire to that or anything. I wonder where your friend got the idea for a boob job, anyway?

― don weiner (don weiner), Friday, 16 December 2005 02:03 (twenty years ago)

if lindsay lohan had a tit job they wouldnt have gotten so (sniffle) tiny when she started trying to consume boliva through her nostrils

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 02:04 (twenty years ago)

http://www.jwz.org/images/implant2.jpg

― geoff (gcannon), Friday, 16 December 2005 02:09 (twenty years ago)

ahem

http://www.jwz.org/images/implant2.jpg

in the excitement of getting into l. lohan's medical records i cocked up the html

― geoff (gcannon), Friday, 16 December 2005 02:10 (twenty years ago)

if you don't think your friend should get a boob job those lohan pics aren't going to help your argument.

― gear (gear), Friday, 16 December 2005 02:12 (twenty years ago)

http://www.prettyandfine.com/archives/tara_reid_nipple_picture.jpg

― don weiner (don weiner), Friday, 16 December 2005 02:15 (twenty years ago)

this picture is like seventy ilx threads in one.

― geoff (gcannon), Friday, 16 December 2005 02:16 (twenty years ago)

GAH

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 02:17 (twenty years ago)

not safe for anybody!

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Friday, 16 December 2005 02:20 (twenty years ago)

google "fake boobs" and jeez all kinds of nutty stuff pops up!

― geoff (gcannon), Friday, 16 December 2005 02:23 (twenty years ago)

WTF

― gear (gear), Friday, 16 December 2005 02:24 (twenty years ago)

and of course that skinny chick is excersizing when the picture was taken

― jaxon (jaxon), Friday, 16 December 2005 02:34 (twenty years ago)

"that skinny chick"

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 02:35 (twenty years ago)

that's not a thong in the rear view you preverts

― don weiner (don weiner), Friday, 16 December 2005 02:41 (twenty years ago)

i want to know whats going on with la lohen's armpit in the redhead shot

― sunny successor (katharine), Friday, 16 December 2005 04:19 (twenty years ago)

nothing says accurate journalism like some dude named elmo's blog

― u saved me (dubplatestyle), Friday, 16 December 2005 04:28 (twenty years ago)

snicker

― sunny successor (katharine), Friday, 16 December 2005 19:28 (twenty years ago)

comparing dying hair to boob jobs is ridiculous.

You can easily undo dyed hair within a month or more -- depending on how short you want to cut it, to undo it, that is.

You can even quit smoking, with enough perseverence.

You can't get your real boobs back after a boob job though. Once you get the boob job, you can't just open up the formaldehyde jar, unscrew the new ones off, and screw the old ones back in.

I think that alone is a good enough reason to HEAVILY question any sort of body modification that's practically irreversible.

― dali madison's nut (donut), Friday, 16 December 2005 19:36 (twenty years ago)

Once you get the boob job, you can't just open up the formaldehyde jar, unscrew the new ones off, and screw the old ones back in.

OMG

― Dan (ARGH MODULAR BREASTS NOOOOOOO) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 16 December 2005 19:37 (twenty years ago)

HUB CAP TITTIES! HUB CAP TITTIES! HEE HEE HEEEEEE!

</CHRIS ELLIOTT>

― dali madison's nut (donut), Friday, 16 December 2005 19:44 (twenty years ago)

jesus wept cannon

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 16 December 2005 19:45 (twenty years ago)

So why not just stuff? And when the lights are off, just have a pair of Strech Octopodes* standing by.

(*learned that last week on ILE.)

― D.I.Y. U.N.K.L.E. (dave225.3), Friday, 16 December 2005 20:19 (twenty years ago)

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