when you've recently started a job and you're sure one of your co-workers doesn't like you

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and you haven't given the person any real reason to dislike you, and you've been nothing but polite to her, but you get a strong vibe of unpleasantness every time the two of you interact, and you're not sure if it's resentment against you or if the person has other issues that have nothing to do with you.

― paranoid in punxsutawney, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:06 (twenty years ago)

other issues

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:12 (twenty years ago)

or possibly you remind her of other issues

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:12 (twenty years ago)

s1ocki otm, except

you've been nothing but polite to her

maybe this is what pisses her off, now. some people cant stand being tiptoed around

― Yawn (Wintermute), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:18 (twenty years ago)

some people are fucking awful horrible people. basically.

― dali madison's nut (donut), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:21 (twenty years ago)

DU H I WUNDE R HOO DIS IZ

― howell huser (chaki), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:21 (twenty years ago)

Sorry, but people who are passive aggressive to you for no reason deserve no mercy. Fuck 'em. Supersize it with cheese fries.

― dali madison's nut (donut), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:22 (twenty years ago)

either that or you've been totally shitty and didn't realize it?

― dali madison's nut (donut), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:23 (twenty years ago)

it's ok if you know who this is. i just don't want the outside world knowing who this is.

either that or you've been totally shitty and didn't realize it?

i haven't even had enough interaction with her to have had a chance to be shitty! everything i've said to her has been very mundane, work-related stuff. i'm trying to fit in there and make myself a neutrally helpful presence.

― paranoid in punxsutawney, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:28 (twenty years ago)

The nicer you are, the more it pisses them off. Be as nice as you possibly can.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:29 (twenty years ago)

you're not going to listen to anything anyone says or take any advice anyway.

― howell huser (chaki), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:30 (twenty years ago)

chaki, why the hate?

― paranoid in punxsutawney, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:32 (twenty years ago)

your question has been answered yet you persist to complain about your issue.

― howell huser (chaki), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:34 (twenty years ago)

okay fine, get one of the mods to lock the thread then

― paranoid in punxsutawney, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:35 (twenty years ago)

id rather just post pictures of julia roberts

― howell huser (chaki), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:36 (twenty years ago)

What's wrong with not liking people? What's wrong with someone not liking you, as long as it isn't leading to them causing problems for you? Don't most people just dislike some other people because it's like a bad chemical combination, or it's like one dog thinking another dog doesn't smell right? Maybe if I were a dog I would bite the people I don't like, but as I am a (marginally) rational creature, I just try to minimize contact with them.

― Rockist_Scientist (RSLaRue), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:36 (twenty years ago)

i don't think i'm who you think i am.

― paranoid in punxsutawney, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:37 (twenty years ago)

but i've been nothing but nice!

― howell huser (chaki), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:37 (twenty years ago)

so you're not the dood with the fatty dreads?

― howell huser (chaki), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:38 (twenty years ago)

What's wrong with not liking people? What's wrong with someone not liking you, as long as it isn't leading to them causing problems for you?

Um, well, you know, minor issues like if you need to cooperate with that person out of your will because it's your job?

I get your major point, but once work is involved, it totally matters. Sorry, Rockist.

― dali madison's nut (donut), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:39 (twenty years ago)

"dood"
"dreads"

― gear (gear), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:39 (twenty years ago)

not a dude, and no dreads

― paranoid in punxsutawney, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:40 (twenty years ago)

im jk

― howell huser (chaki), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 23:42 (twenty years ago)

she may get over it and decide you're harmless in time.

― Maria (Maria), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 00:39 (twenty years ago)

I thought this would be Alex in NYC!

I would wait it out; very often you're catching somebody at a bad time in their life and it has nothing to do with you.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 01:09 (twenty years ago)

thin line between love and hate. co-worker has a mad crush on you but knows it can never be. this is tearing them up inside. get alone with them in the xerox room and make yr move.

― Mitya (mitya), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 01:37 (twenty years ago)

People resent new employees because they are competition they will have to train. Just ignore it and if the problem still exists months from now, start playing those mind games.

― Der 2, Wednesday, 21 December 2005 01:46 (twenty years ago)

I have the exact opposite situation. A new worker started a couple of months ago and she does not like me. I have decided to give her time until she sees my inner radiance.

Actually, I dont care if she likes me or not, but it seems( she is v quiet and passive so this not something clearly stated) that she thinks I have been pissing around getting not a lot done and turning in 2nd rate projects, leaving a big pile of messy half finished work, which I am trying to palm off on her. The truth (that it is not my job to do this work at all, that this kind of organisation and particularly her boss creates messy half finished work as a natural process, and that I am her only hope for making sense of it) will manifest eventually and we will bond and settle down to make the best of it.
Alternatively she will be so brilliant that she will sort everything out so it is perfect. In which case she will probably continue to despise me, but that's a small price to pay for having things sorted.
So in short, I think time and continuing to do whatever you were hired to do as well as you can are the best answers.

― isadora (isadora), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 03:01 (twenty years ago)

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