Where's Your Fleas At

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We had run out of electricity this morning, so I couldn't have a shower! Arrg!! This meant I did not haf enough time to wash my hair - which is causing me a lot of stress. Neither can I remember if I have brushed my teeth. I was sure that I had, until I reached Pimlico. Then I thought I hadn't! Argh! But now, sitting at my desk, voraciously munching SUGAR FREE POLOS (which my chum will not eat as they have 'poo stuff' in them), I think I may have done after all and therefore there is no reason for my mouth to feel icky. My hair feels icky though.

What part of YOU feels icky? Would you prefer to be a robot? Could you live without washing? Why does feeling clean be so important? Would you still love me if I got head lice? And I'm sure there's a dry shampoo that exists which you can comb through your hair if you have no water. Is there a conditioner too? DO THEY SELL IT IN BOOTS??

― Sarah, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I am not really that gross and I am usually clean! Except that I rarely scrub my NAILS. They don't tend to get that dirty, despite my working in a CITY OF FILF. Also they are too short. Washing my hair feels good, but I do not know why today it is FEELING dirty. I mean, it's only up there on the top of my head, is it my brain saying, wash it else you will get fleas? I am sure it hasn't always been that bad.

― Sarah, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Icky hair is disastrous for me. A piece of one of my bangs may be conspicuously parted from the rest, revealing the icky state of my hair... so then I try to comb it back in with my fingers, which obviously only results in more ickiness. It's a futile dilemma and when in public it utterly defeats me.

― Honda, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dry shampoo = Batista and don't bother Sarah, it makes you look like you've tipped talc all over yourself. I bought some a few years ago in a desperate attempt to maintain glamour over Glastonbury weekend - it is supposed to just absorb grease (nice) between washes but is crap.

I am gleamingly shiny and clean today. Bling!

― Emma, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

my eyes, or the area around them often feel gooey/icky, but i've been told this is actually dryness. fnuh??

― Alan Trewartha, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My electricty went this morning too. It's vile isn't it? I can cope with dirt if it's a weekend or a festival or something. (I can lie in bed with occassional trips to buy newspapers, Dairylee Dunkers etc for a whole 48 hour time period without washing). But I can't wake up without having a shower. There's a shower in my office, but it means my journey to consciousness has been delayed by about two hours.

― Anna, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You have a shower in your office? Are you the MD of a major panglomerate Anna?

― chris, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

At my last company they redid the lavs and put showers in the girls toilets but not the boys (which did get massive mock-marble washbasins and huge mirrors apparently modelled on exec-washroom in Trading Places). Women are fragrant creatures and need to be protected from the squalor of office life I assume.

― Tom, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Get your workplace to put in showers as part of their environmentally friendly policies (mucho tax relief can be got out of this).

― Pete, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Fortunately if the hot water breaks in our flat I have a choice of not 1 but 2! yes 2 gyms to go to with hot water aplenty and celebrities too (Pete Callan off Family Affairs was in my Crouch End gym on Sunday but noone I tell this thrilling fact to knows what Family Affairs is, pah.)

― Emma, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

showers here have a stinky towel on the v hot radiator and the whole thing stinks of strong bleach. not that i've been in for a while. i'm not going running until the weather gets its arse in gear. hmph

― Alan Trewartha, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I feel icky all over. I thought it was a nightmare but when I woke up this morning I realised I had pissed in the middle of my room. My brain was gone mad or something. sorry i had to tell someone. i cleaned it this morning but i am filled with self loathing.

― Ronan, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

it feels so good and yet so bad having just confessed that. don't judge me. I am a good person.

― Ronan, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

We won't judge you, Ronan, we will just point and laugh.

Being up a bit early and having not showered, currently my hair is even more of a random mess (not as bad as some mornings, though), and my unshaven face is driving me to distraction. Showering/cleaning up every morning = NECESSARY FOR SURVIVAL.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I haven't shaved since Saturday I think, maybe Friday.

― chris, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I had a mate at college who needed to relieve himself in the night while staying in his girlfriend's room, got up, wandered about a bit till he decided he was probably in the toilet by now and pissed all over a chair which had a load of just-washed clothes on it. She half- awoke to hear the sound of rushing water but thought nothing of it until the next morning when they both realised what had happened.

Me & the culprit found this very funny. The girlfriend didn't.

― Emma, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I remember reading a story exactly like that in a lad mag, Loaded or something. It was funny because it was part of one of the usual "how to satisfy women THE FACTS" type things and it was like 1. "Don't have sex if you're incredibly drunk." then it told a story like the one Emma just said. It's like contrary to what you may think guys, pissing on your girlfriends clothes is NOT sexy.

I might as well add that none of my clothes were soiled, just the carpet and the cd player.

― Ronan, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have a similar tale, except the protagonist actually got inside his girlfriends wardrobe before pissing, having apparently mistaken it for a cubicle in his inebriated state.

― RickyT, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

CLEAN ME UPDATE: I went to Boots and bought some CUCUMBER (num num) facial cleansing wipes. My skin had JUST started feeling greasy so I used some! And now!! Not only am I refreshed but I am sitting UPRIGHT as opposed to usual HELL SLUMP and feel PERKY and am EVEN considering doing some.. w...wor... w.... SHOPPING! Yay for cleansing face glorified tissues with aloe vera and extra vitamin E!

― Sarah, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'd also like to thank people for posting on here despite my branes lack of grammar in the subject line.

― Sarah, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I haven't shaved since Saturday either, but it's because I've got a BEARD TRIMMER, so I need a beard to try it out. I hope the BEARD TRIMMER is better than Timbaland and Magoo.

― Peter Miller, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It had better be, or your wife will divorce you.

― the pinefox, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have a similar story to Ronan and Emma; a few years ago I picked up some boy after getting drunk at a bar. In the middle of the night I awoke to find him peeing into a bag of clothes in the corner of my room. I kind of thought I was dreaming and went back to sleep. In the morning I discovered I wasn't dreaming. The boy could offer no explanation for the event. Luckily, the bag of clothes didn't belong to me.

― Sean, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Jesus Christ! everyone is going to think we live in a squat, or something. What next, confessions of eating our shoes while huddled round a single lava lamp? Btw, had you stuck the leccy key back in the slot, the emergency credit would have gone in, thus allowing a shower. You foo! I shall tALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS TONIGHT. sorry about the unintended capitals, I am in a hurry to get away and photocopy some shit before the library shuts. Please note, I am not actuaklly photocopying SHIT. I am not an art student or a disgusting shadow of humanity.

― alix, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I would like to be a robot.

― jel, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I feel really itchy now!

― jel, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm sure I told this story, too, but a guy I knew in college once got a little too drunk during a weekend where we were singing at Cornell and pissed on his host's pet rabbit in the middle of the night. This led to an entire semester of the Glee Club singing "Piss on the bunny..." to the tune of "We're In The Money" every time he walked into a room. Sometimes I really miss college...

― Dan Perry, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Um, remove the extraneous "too" from the above post. I realized I didn't retell my revenge story because it was too tacky (FOR ME!).

― Dan Perry, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The beard trimmer is going back to the shop.

― Peter Miller, Saturday, 12 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

In an ick update, I appear to have a SPOT fermenting on my forehand. Hand? Head. Blurrrgh. Work is dull. I am going to sit under my desk and read Lord of the RingZoR.

― Sarah, Wednesday, 16 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

when i don't get to shower in the morning, my face and hair feel icky.

― di, Wednesday, 16 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

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