2005 - Classic or Dud?

I think it was a 'neither' year. I gave myself 3 objectives and while I've only solidly achieved one, it will lead to another in the not too distant future and as a bonus, I'm currently getting closer to achieving the one I really wanted. Oh, and there were 2 bonus quests I did complete to so,me life-enhancing satisfaction, so maybe it's classic after all. But only barely.

Still, play the game of existence to the end (of the beginning,beginning)and all that.

for the world as a whole: utterly dud. our magazine's "review of the year" thing is out today. putting that together was a miserable experience. bombs, earthquakes, floods, lies, war and misery all round.

Attended more funerals than any other year in my past - mostly elderly members of my husband's family, but one other that was utterly heartbreaking and shared by a lot of people on this board, the first of my friends to die.

On the upside, a lot of new friends have come into my life via ILX - I got to meet a number of the London crowd in July, and Glasgow FAPs have become quite common now. The feeling at Glasgow FAPs now is that we are all friends, and not just because of ILX - I do voluntarily spend time with Glasgow ILXors outwith the ordinary FAP umbrella, which is excellent. Last night I had a thoroughly enjoyable night out with friends - a FAP, in fact - three of the five people were people I had only met for the first time this year, but not once did it seem strange. This is the first year I've thought that ILX has really made a difference to my life.

I also feel I've grown up this year - with only one lapse, I've stopped being the needy, whiney, drunken fool and started trying to become a better person to be around. I feel more confident with people as a result, and I'm sure a lot of that has come from the feeling I had at the start of the year of being liked and respected.

My overall gut feeling is still dud, but I think I've benefited from the dudness, rather than dwelling on it. I have high hopes for 2006.

On the downside, my hatred of living in this backwater has come to a head, and I can't even pretend anymore that I'm doing anything but tolerating it (badly). I don't have any friends except disembodied personalities at the other end of an ethernet cable.

(but I met Ned for the first time, so it can't have been all bad)

still better than 2004's ratio of 85% dud and 15% classic

On the whole, it's been about 50-50.

Heheh, well thank ya sir. :-)

A couple of bouts of sadness and reflection and some truly awful tragedies aside (one, of course, already referred to on this thread), a very good year for me. Too many friends went through too much shit, though, to make it a really great one. :-/

That said, meeting many new folks in my travels in Europe alone made it a good year. :-)

I shall gladly kick the old year out.

current events: so disturbing I must fight the urge to run & hide

personally: career frustration and everyday stuck-in-rut numbness

but lately turnaround and fresh inspiration somehow seem imminent

perversely I always feel optimistic on mondays and december 31

IT'S A NEW DAY SO LET A MAN COME IN AND DO THE POPCORN (PT 1 & 2)

Motherfucking dud

Classic: 3 months travelling alone in Southeast Asia - some of the best experiences of my entire life to date, new high-roller job doing exactly what I want to do and enjoying it thoroughly, re-uniting with all my friends back in Toronto after being away for almost 3 years.

Dud: seeing the sadness of the Tsunami aftermath first-hand in Thailand in January, losing a life-long friend to cancer in March and another friend mentioned already (both occurring while I was a million miles away and felt even more powerless) - fuck you cancer, and fuck you suicide bomber, leaving someone dear to me, thereby breaking my own heart as well as hers... and the general dud-ness of the global geo-policial situation in 2005...

Dud definitely tips the scales for 2005. But thankfully 2006 is looking to be a really good time in my life - settling into a new job, feeling more 'at home' and less like a lost soul, buying my first home... bring it on. As for 2005... SO LONG, STINKTOWN!

Oh yeah, and Liz died for no good fucking reason.

-Started one year ago today when my 16-year-old cat died.

-Feb, my mother almost dies after her stomach ruptures and she spends nearly two months in ICU. She's still not 100%.

-I was still teaching middle school in the hood.

-Move to a new city, in with a new guy, have to look for a new job.

-Find new, great job that I love.

-Job's very hard.

-Grandmother who was more of a mother to me than my own mother is diagnosed with stage 4 esophigacal cancer.

-Job gets even harder.

-Two weeks after diagnosis 69 yr old grandmother dies.

-Lose job.

-Run out of medications and can't get anymore b/c of above.

-Depression worsens.

-Spend Xmas packing up dead grandmother's house so new buyers can move in on the 27th.

-Am denied unemployment compensation after previously being approved.

-Depression reaches point where I rarely get out of bed.

-Tomorrow's 2006. I'm through with this shit. D-O-N-E.

On the upside '05 was the first year in the past three that I wasn't in the previously mentioned nuthouse. But, given the things that have happened, that might have been welcomed.

oh yeah . .
Dumbledore dies

SOB!

there were a few highlights: seeing unrest was one of them. so were the two olivia tremor control shows over the summer. oh and bobby abreu's home run derby performance was classic.

but really, on balance, it 99.5% was complete and utter shit. i am counting down the hours until its end.

Personally, 2005 was Dud with a capital shit. More than ever I have realised that my life is stuck in this boring tedium - and no movement out of the rut is possible because it is too dangerous.

Onimo and aldo (and Mrs Onimo and aldo - thanks for being around; without you and people like you I would have given up a long time ago. Looking forward to ATP in May

And to all at ILX (no list of names but Tom, ailsa, grimly, stencil, Masonic and Streathamy Kate, christ even ESTEBAN and too many others) - thanks for doing this. I may not post every day but just lurking here makes me feel part of the family. And I think I am not the only one.

And finally, on this new year, my thoughts still turn to a woman I never met but I read so often and who still leaves a hole in so many lives: Liz - you will not be forgotten.

A

Can I just second that, and also extend the same sentiment to Jeffrey? Amy wasn't one of us on this board, but I think I can confidently speak on behalf of the ex-S1n1st3r mob when I say that she isn't forgotten, and neither are you.

i declare 2005 to be: clud.

gukbe otm, though, of course

But the bad things, well, we all know about them. We've lost two members of this community this year and that's two too many. Here's to you, Liz and Nick.

Sorry to hear that some people had a difficult year. I hope 2006 is better for you.

Good holiday in the spring. Cat, which had been very ill at the end of 2004, recovered. Classic.

Lost an old family friend in the bombs in July, unspeakably dud, my neice got born, inexpressibly classic.

My mother and my husband's mother both extremely ill in the late summer through to now, very dud.

Quit job in October to do masters full time, very strange and confusing. Met lovely new people, miss the lovely old (work) people a lot. Have a lot more time to hang around here, throwing stones into this pool of nonsense, making no ripples. Not sure about the c/d status of that, either.

Looking forward to 2006. Best wishes to all.

But then, slowly, things started to improve. New job helped. New medication, CBT, and then, finally, to put the icing on the cake for the outlook for 2006, new house.

Get thee behind me, 2005. 2006 will rock much harder.

regards,

REB