Celebrity Big Brother 2006 - Thread One - Who are these painful showoffs?

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By tradition, the thread one.

So the 'rumourmill' has it, one or more or less of the following:

Michael Barrymore, Esther Rantzen, Dead Or Alive frontman Pete Burns and comedian Liza Tarbuck.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 12:56 (nineteen years ago)

And Macaulay Culkin. WTF.

These colliding universes always seem far more interesting in concept than in reality though.

I think they should do one in a pitch black warehouse space, with offal pits, pugel sticks, halucinogenics in the water supply and heavy strobing. Music supplied by Whitehouse. The last to go insane is the 'winner'.

― Mestema (davidcorp), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 13:12 (nineteen years ago)

I'd love to see that! Especially if they used snazzy Predator heat-vision instead of the usual dreary green ParisHiltovision.

― melton mowbray (adr), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 14:25 (nineteen years ago)

If Esther Rantzen's in it, she'll win.

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 14:29 (nineteen years ago)

I heard Anna Nicole Smith, Ruud Gullit, Faria Alam (hmmm, can you spot who they think may be the potential couple?) and Jimmy (as opposed to Liza) Tarbuck as well as everyone else you've mentioned. I will presumably see Barrymore's rehabilitation into society/total breakdown on the news, thereby relieving me of the need to actually watch the thing...oh, who am I kidding, I'll be watching it because I am sad reality TV junkie and observer of Z-list celebs.

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 14:42 (nineteen years ago)

Celeb BB is so short I doubt you'll need more than one thread for this.

― Sororah T Massacre: Thread Nazi (blueski), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 14:43 (nineteen years ago)

You are probably right.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 14:46 (nineteen years ago)

well at least these are people I have heard of.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 14:47 (nineteen years ago)

Really. How long before someone is killed in a reality tv show? Didn't Annalise from Neighbours smash her pelvis in the recent I'm a Celebrity...?? What if she'd split her nut instead? WHO WOULD PAY??

The Running Man is not far.

― Mestema (davidcorp), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

argh i really need to stop watching reality tv. not for moral reasons, i mean it'd be great if someone died, but shit all that wasted time.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 14:51 (nineteen years ago)

First person to comment on Barrymore via the outdoor Big Brother pool gets to write for the Daily Mail for the rest of all time...

How's anyone going to get killed on Big Brother? Pecked to death by chickens?

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 14:54 (nineteen years ago)

there was a near stabbing in BB USA one year. and have been many accidents over the years, mainly running and tripping.

― koogs (koogs), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 15:04 (nineteen years ago)

The Sun have been rather horrible about Barrymore.

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 15:06 (nineteen years ago)

can't think why

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 15:07 (nineteen years ago)

Unless someone should happen to cop it from an instantaneous starvation or things get reeeeeeally carried away with the bottlefrigging, I doubt it will be on CBB. Reality TV deaths are impending though, no doubt. We can only hope it's one featuring Robert 'Robbie Williams' Williams.

― Mestema (davidcorp), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 15:10 (nineteen years ago)

Tbh, I don't know nearly enough about Barrymore to comment, but wasn't his "crime" to have a house big enough for the sort of party that the chattering classes would turn their noses up at (being full of teh gays and people who take drugs, oh noes!), where someone happened to die? For years before that, Barrymore was a high-profile meltdown waiting to happen. I never really liked him as an entertainer, and I'm not sure I want to watch his probably excruciating attempt to get back into favour with the people who drove him to the other side of the world.

Maybe he will outdo Vanessa and go completely bonkers before taking an AK-47 to the rest of his housemates.

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 15:15 (nineteen years ago)

.. which he brought in as his 'luxury' item.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 15:24 (nineteen years ago)

a house big enough for the sort of party that the chattering classes would turn their noses up at (being full of teh gays and people who take drugs, oh noes!), where someone happened to die?

the chattering classes love gays and drugs, what are you talking?

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 15:27 (nineteen years ago)

Not the Daily Mail reading tweedy nimby types, they don't. Unless it's nice cuddly gays like Sir Elton John.

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 15:31 (nineteen years ago)

to be honest, the ILE threads during the last BB were several times more entertaining and enjoyable than watching the real thing. therefore, i'm not going to watch this.

no, really.

honest.

i'm not. i mean it. i'm really not.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 15:35 (nineteen years ago)

(unlike enrique, though, i'm hypocritical/silly enough to try to convince everybody that it really is a moral decision and i am TAKING A NOBLE STAND etc etc.

no, really.

honest.)

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 15:37 (nineteen years ago)

Well SOMEONE has to watch it, or else the ILE threads will be shit. I'll selflessly propose myself, but I'll be needing company. *waves at Grimly Fiendish*

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 15:37 (nineteen years ago)

i will not watch the show probably, but i will read the thread(s).

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 15:39 (nineteen years ago)

The ILE threads for last year's BB reached their apothesis with the jubiliation of Science beating Maxwell, and the response to Kinga shoving a wine bottle up her cunny.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 15:41 (nineteen years ago)

ailsa, if you and dom are watching it for the rest of us, i'm happy with that.

no, really.

honest.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 15:55 (nineteen years ago)

*bashes GF round head with a copy of Heat*

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 15:58 (nineteen years ago)

and the response to Kinga shoving a wine bottle up her cunny.

this was shown again the other day but i managed to turn over just in time, in a scene reminiscent of where Homer and Bart desperately try and replace the batteries in the remote control in order to change channel and avoid the broadcast of a space shuttle launch.

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 15:59 (nineteen years ago)

That alone was worth it for the look on Anthony's face though. But, yes, I would gladly never see it again.

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 16:09 (nineteen years ago)

I'm hoping the Macaulay Culkin rumour is true and at some stage all the other housemates will suddenly disappear, leaving him on his own to defend the BB house from Joe Pesci.

― James Ward (jamesmichaelward), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 16:18 (nineteen years ago)

x-post

i had "the look on anthony's face" as a desktop background for a month.

i managed to turn over just in time

as opposed to yr stomach turning over, etc etc.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 16:19 (nineteen years ago)

[actually reads james ward's post, chokes laughing]

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 16:19 (nineteen years ago)

Right, it starts tonight, apparently.

Other names possibly include (or not)

Boy George, US basketball star Dennis Rodman and actresses Rula Lenska.

Oh, and Johnny Vegas is favourite to win. Even though he's not on any of the rumour lists so far.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 5 January 2006 14:53 (nineteen years ago)

I saw a picture of him in the Sun on whatever day they started their Barrymore stories (Tuesday?) as one of their names on the shortlist. (As I recall, their list was Barrymore, Rodman, Vegas, Shane Magowan, Gillian McKeith, Jimmy Tarbuck, Esther Rantzen, Faria Alam, Anna Nicole Smith and Brian Harvey.)

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 5 January 2006 14:58 (nineteen years ago)

Shane? What would be his luxury item? Dublin?

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 5 January 2006 15:01 (nineteen years ago)

Oh please, let Gillian McKeith be on it, but only give them junk food....

― Vicky (Vicky), Thursday, 5 January 2006 15:02 (nineteen years ago)

who's this basketball guy?

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 5 January 2006 15:02 (nineteen years ago)

if Culkin doesn't get in it then I ain't watchin it, no sirree bob

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 5 January 2006 15:03 (nineteen years ago)

x-post

Dennis Rodman - the guy with the multicoloured hair.

I can't decide whether or not I like Johnny Vegas.

His 'show' (18 Stone of Idiot?) was the most excrutiating bag of shite I've ever forced myself to sit through.

― Rumpie (lil drummer girl parumpumpumpu), Thursday, 5 January 2006 15:04 (nineteen years ago)

Paddy Power odds:

Johnny Vegas 5 - 2
Liza Tarbuck 7 - 2
Boy George 5 - 1
Jimmy Tarbuck 9 - 1
Joan Rivers 10 - 1
Michael Barrymore 12 - 1
Derek Acorah 12 - 1
Dennis Rodman 14 - 1
Gillian McKeith 14 - 1
Jocelyn Jee Esien 14 - 1
Faria Alam 14 - 1
Anna Nicole Smith 16 - 1
Pete Burns 20 - 1
Shane McGowan 20 - 1
Macaulay Culkin 25 - 1

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 5 January 2006 15:07 (nineteen years ago)

he dated Madonna too, xpost

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 5 January 2006 15:08 (nineteen years ago)

Rodman has done it with Madonna (xpost!)

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Thursday, 5 January 2006 15:08 (nineteen years ago)

but then so has Johnny Vegas by now (probably)

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Thursday, 5 January 2006 15:09 (nineteen years ago)

Sleb Big Brother Saves Lives!

(from http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4172642.stm)

7. The day when most suicides occurred in the UK between 1993 and 2002 was 1 January, 2000.

8. The only day in that time when no-one killed themselves was 16 March, 2001, the day Comic Relief viewers saw Jack Dee win Celebrity Big Brother.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 5 January 2006 15:10 (nineteen years ago)

hahaha 'done it'

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 5 January 2006 15:11 (nineteen years ago)

you are all 100% insane.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 5 January 2006 15:12 (nineteen years ago)

Well, if Shane Mac's in it, he'll win. If not, he won't.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 5 January 2006 15:12 (nineteen years ago)

I might watch some of this, if it's on at the chinese takeaway when I'm waiting for my duck w/crispy noodles, perhaps.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 5 January 2006 15:13 (nineteen years ago)

And next year, it'll be Wild Man Fischer.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 5 January 2006 15:14 (nineteen years ago)

For a moment there I confused Jocelyn Jee Esien with Jocelyn Wildenstein. I'd have preferred that.

― Rumpie (lil drummer girl parumpumpumpu), Thursday, 5 January 2006 15:51 (nineteen years ago)

It would be excellent if Shane Magowan went in and as his luxury item, he took Dickon Edwards.

― James Ward (jamesmichaelward), Thursday, 5 January 2006 15:55 (nineteen years ago)

Skipping 531 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

CHRIST, HE'S A FUCKING CHOPPING-ACTION PHALLUS, our michael.

x-post:

"this is our quest
to call her an arse
no matter how hopeless
she is as a star"

etc

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:21 (nineteen years ago)

That display by Barrymore was fucking disturbing. He reckons he's happy and well. He's deluded.

― Cracks (Crackity), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:26 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, God, I'm so sad - the mister and his pal have gone to the pub and I said "I'll come over once Big Brother is finished".

Galloway "if I'm evicted, I'll be pleased to get back to...."(goes on to list a billion things)
Me: (screaming at telly - yes, I'm in on my own) "Your constituency?" Your FUCKING JOB!!!"

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:27 (nineteen years ago)

Evicted: Jodie. Boo hoo.

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:35 (nineteen years ago)

bye jodie. quelle surprise.

XPOST HOW DID YOU DO THAT SO QUICKLY?

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:35 (nineteen years ago)

Mixed reaction from the crowd. Tenner says Davina hugs her during the interview, and she will cry.

(Fear me! And my excellent typing skills!)

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:37 (nineteen years ago)

i'm not betting against that at all ;)

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:38 (nineteen years ago)

(I had typed "Evicted:" during the silence, so all I had to type was [name, comment] when it was announced). A posting technique I learned during the penalty shootout in the European Cup Final last season...

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:40 (nineteen years ago)

i was so confident about it being jodie that i'd typed THE ENTIRE POST before she announced it! all i had to do was hit send! and you still beat me!

ach, it's 'cos i'm drinking this here wine. hic.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:41 (nineteen years ago)

So, I didn't follow that bit of her interview, did she want to be first out or not, she seems to have changed her point of view halfway through a sentence there.

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:43 (nineteen years ago)

Fuck, Jodie has an IQ of 136?

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:45 (nineteen years ago)

Jodie demonstrated that size does matter today when she questioned an embarrassed Preston over the length of his penis.

Her interrogation began when Preston became concerned that he may have flashed her while in the pool.

"I was embarrassed because it might have unwittingly fallen out," he said. "I have done that in here before when I was getting changed."

"What, had a little flop out?" she asked.

"Yeah. No, not a little flop out."

"How big is your willy?" asked Jodie, a question she repeated multiple times, only to receive presumably sarcastic answers. "Tiny," Preston replied. "An inch."

He went on to claim he didn't know his vital statistic but Jodie was unconvinced, insisting: "All men know how big their own willies are."

"We're digressing," Preston pointed out but Jodie continued: "Seven, eight? You could just go like that [with your fingers] and show us the size."

"Yeah, but I don't want to," he laughed. "It's fucking tiny. You can't even see it, it goes inwards."

Finally he conceded with a riddle - "it's wider than it is long" - leaving Jodie impressed. "Is it? I like it that way."

― arf, Friday, 13 January 2006 21:46 (nineteen years ago)

Crying!!

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:47 (nineteen years ago)

how many times was she really "told to leave the country"? Was she even fucking LISTENING to anything anyone said to her?

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:48 (nineteen years ago)

Fuck, Jodie has an IQ of 136?

13.6?

1.36?

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:48 (nineteen years ago)

"I learned I don't get on with people who don't think they're transvestites when they are"

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:48 (nineteen years ago)

"ask me about ME. Me me me me me."

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:50 (nineteen years ago)

Why is half of her t-shirt missing?

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:50 (nineteen years ago)

according to popbitch:

-----------------------------------------------------
Jodie Marsh got expelled from school when she was 16
for selling naked photos of herself to 6th form boys.
Her 12 year old brother took the photos. Class.
-----------------------------------------------------

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:51 (nineteen years ago)

Jodie, sweetheart, conversation is not "ask me about the things I want to talk about". It's a two-way process that DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU.

Pete is "the most hideous thing I've ever met, I don't think I could look at him". But yet, criticise Jodie's looks and you are WRONG. and EVIL.

Haha "most of my friends are gay and transvestites"

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:52 (nineteen years ago)

OK, she's gone, I can go to the pub now...

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:58 (nineteen years ago)

hic! say hello to neil from me.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 13 January 2006 22:00 (nineteen years ago)

ailsa you are completely wrong in every way here.

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 13 January 2006 22:01 (nineteen years ago)

i think that eviction and interview was unfair, misogynistic and depressing.

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 13 January 2006 22:03 (nineteen years ago)

That's a pretty good summation of Jodie Marsh's career to date though, innit?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 13 January 2006 22:19 (nineteen years ago)

Anyway, Barrymore is 5/2 for next eviction, Georgie boy is threes, and Rubberlips is 4/1.

Preston just moved back into favourite to win, although money continues for Chantelle in second.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 13 January 2006 22:23 (nineteen years ago)

george needs to be kept in as long as possible. the slimy fucker can talk his way out of all sorts of shit: the longer he's in, the more recorded evidence there'll be of him being a knob.

barrymore out next, for the sake of his own mental health, i think.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Friday, 13 January 2006 22:46 (nineteen years ago)

i think that eviction and interview was unfair, misogynistic and depressing.

= every female BB eviction in the past few years.

― Merryweather (scarlet), Friday, 13 January 2006 23:57 (nineteen years ago)

I agree w/ jed I didn't see the eviction

― RJG (RJG), Saturday, 14 January 2006 00:02 (nineteen years ago)

Jody was the summation of every female eviction in the past couple of years - the "I'll tell it as I remember it, and as long as I keep repeating it, it's true" interview.

See Saskia, Sam, Lesleh, Nadia (I mean, some people still believe it was Jason that turned the table over and not her, despite WHAT THE ACTUAL FOOTAGE SHOWS), Emma, Michelle...

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Saturday, 14 January 2006 09:52 (nineteen years ago)

I don't agree with jed_ = I am wrong. Seems fair enough to me.

― ailsa (ailsa), Saturday, 14 January 2006 12:31 (nineteen years ago)

I didn't see the eviction, jed can you explain what was misogynistic?

― Cathy (Cathy), Saturday, 14 January 2006 12:42 (nineteen years ago)

I did see it. Can you explain, etc...

― ailsa (ailsa), Saturday, 14 January 2006 12:45 (nineteen years ago)

= every female BB eviction in the past few years.

Have you watched them all then? I don't think I've seen one.

― Gatinha (rwillmsen), Saturday, 14 January 2006 12:48 (nineteen years ago)

I think I've seen most of them. It's basically "people with inflated egos being interviewed by Davina fucking McCall". They are always quite touchy-feely "we-love-you" hug fests, with the possible exception of, erm, someone last year (Sam, was it?) that wasn't very nice.

― ailsa (ailsa), Saturday, 14 January 2006 12:54 (nineteen years ago)

I can barely credit the fact that I'm finally taking an interest in this thing.

― Gatinha (rwillmsen), Saturday, 14 January 2006 12:57 (nineteen years ago)

sorry ailsa, i was furious last night so i missed out the "i think" in the "i think you're wrong in every way here" :P i Do think you are wrong though! i think this was the most disgusting interview i've seen from BB, with the possible exception of Makosi's last year. i WILL say more about it when i come back from town later but i'm off out now.

― jed_ (jed), Saturday, 14 January 2006 13:27 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, Makosi, that was the horrible one I meant from last year. I'm also going out, but will respond later.

― ailsa (ailsa), Saturday, 14 January 2006 13:34 (nineteen years ago)

Can't wait for Pete Burns Vs. Jimmy Saville, though I suspect any real throwdown will be unbroadcastable.

― Soukesian, Saturday, 14 January 2006 13:50 (nineteen years ago)

I saw ms marsh getting interviewd at the chinese takeaway. i mean, I was in the takeaway, she was getting interviewed on the telly they had in the room. It didn't seem very interesting or controversial, though obv I haven't seen any of the prog. Mainly I was freaked out by her nose & lips. Why would someone do that to themselves?

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 14 January 2006 14:21 (nineteen years ago)

What's happening?

― Gatinha (rwillmsen), Saturday, 14 January 2006 20:45 (nineteen years ago)

From the highlights show (last night's post-eviction stuff), Barrymore is doing a cunningly prescient impression of Jimmy Savile. Unfortunately he's doing it for the benefit of Traci, who I would imagine has absolutely no idea who Jimmy Savile is.

― ailsa (ailsa), Saturday, 14 January 2006 21:49 (nineteen years ago)

To be fair he did say "now then now then aawaawaawaawaaa you no ave no idea who i am aawaawaawaawaa now then."

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Saturday, 14 January 2006 22:00 (nineteen years ago)

Right, considered opinion on Jodie Marsh. She is selfish, self-obsessed and utterly unlikeable. She is famous for nothing more than getting her tits out at every possible opportunity, yet hates her "public image" (see FHM photo upthread for the public image she portrays). She is mean and bitchy about people, yet bawls like a bairn or chucks hissy fits if anyone does same about her.

I don't particularly like Barrymore or Galloway either (I sort of like Burns when he isn't being a cock), but I find it very difficult to have any sympathy whatsoever for Marsh. She surely isn't that stupid that she can't see that not turning up at events in clothing measuring less than one square inch/not turning up at all would get her out of the public eye, if she hates the fame that she has craved and exacerbated by going on reality TV at every possible opportunity. Yet, there she is, pootling about the BB house wearing belts across her boobs, talking about shagging and bitching about Jordan.

The whole "my dad's ill" thing was calculated and showed her in a really crappy light - if she was that worried, why not pull out of the show? Oh, that's right, because she wants to be the centre of the fucking universe. Threatening suicide because, er, what was that because of again, because a couple of people she'd met four days earlier didn't like her very much? - that was low as well. Unless she is seriously ill and depressed and suicidal, in which case she needs help urgently. But no, she dismissed that one out of hand in her interview.

I don't hate her, I don't wish the girl any harm, but I cannot seriously put my hand on my heart and say she doesn't deserve the flak she's been getting. She could do with learning a few social skills and some self-restraint, or else learning to deflect flak, because she's going to go on attracting attention as long as she keeps putting herself in the public eye.

― ailsa (ailsa), Saturday, 14 January 2006 23:16 (nineteen years ago)

Also, using Davina's "what have you learned about yourself" question to launch into an attack on the other housemates, i.e. not learned much then.

― ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 15 January 2006 00:16 (nineteen years ago)

I think you're wrong

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 15 January 2006 02:46 (nineteen years ago)

I don't, I think you're OTM.

― JimD (JimD), Sunday, 15 January 2006 10:37 (nineteen years ago)

George is threes to be next out?

But no-one will nominate him!

― mark grout (mark grout), Sunday, 15 January 2006 10:54 (nineteen years ago)

It would be nice if Jodie's supporters could stop just telling me they think I'm wrong and could explaining *why* I am wrong.

― ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 15 January 2006 12:31 (nineteen years ago)

Continues on ...
Celebrity Big Brother 2006 - Thread Two - We all stand together?

― mark grout (mark grout), Sunday, 15 January 2006 16:05 (nineteen years ago)

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