More than repulsed by the Donnie Darko love a lot of my homies professed in 2001, I studiously avoided him. He was ok in Lovely & Amazing (the last time he'd be sexy again until Brokeback), forgettable in The Good Girl, and tried very hard in The Day After Tomorrow. Never saw Jarhead
Nothing in those pictures suggested that he was anything more than a Tobey Maguire manque (and, to rewrite Oscar Wilde, so is Tobey Maguire) with some erotic frisson; but he's a revelation in Brokeback, a statement for which I've gotten a lot of ridicule over the holidays. Ledger is fantastic, but if his lover can't project thwarted homosexual lust than the movie's a failure. His performance is impressively physical; he finally learns how to use those killer blue eyes in character. When called upon to demonstrate Great Oscar-Worthy Thespian Chops in his stentorian kiss-off to Ledger, he more than holds his own.
Still, I probably remember his performance more for the audience gratification: we've wanted to see Jake in a movie worthy of his looks, and he plays to every seat in the house. My Favorite Brokeback Moment: how his Jack Twist, during the reunion scene, pulls away from Ennis as he's being mauled with kisses, looking at his old lover with a mixture of shock, relief ("Is this really happening?" he seems to be thinking), and euphoria.
― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 20:37 (nineteen years ago)
(Oh wait, he's queer, AND a bottom...)
― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 20:44 (nineteen years ago)
― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 20:48 (nineteen years ago)
― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 20:51 (nineteen years ago)
Big beautiful eyes aside, how so?
― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 20:52 (nineteen years ago)
― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:18 (nineteen years ago)
― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:21 (nineteen years ago)
― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:22 (nineteen years ago)
― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:25 (nineteen years ago)
― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:46 (nineteen years ago)
― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:48 (nineteen years ago)
― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 22:02 (nineteen years ago)
― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 22:05 (nineteen years ago)
― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 22:07 (nineteen years ago)
― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 22:23 (nineteen years ago)
― emilys. (emilys.), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 05:03 (nineteen years ago)
-- Lars and Jagger (nicole.kessle...), January 3rd, 2006 3:48 PM. (Ex Leon)
rofl
― HAKKEBOFFER (eman), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 05:40 (nineteen years ago)
― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 13:48 (nineteen years ago)
― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 14:16 (nineteen years ago)
― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 14:18 (nineteen years ago)
http://actors.pick2web.com/pics/1222725/jakegyllenhaal.jpg
― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:07 (nineteen years ago)
― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:11 (nineteen years ago)
― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:17 (nineteen years ago)
― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:19 (nineteen years ago)
― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:35 (nineteen years ago)
― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:43 (nineteen years ago)
― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:45 (nineteen years ago)
― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:46 (nineteen years ago)
― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:52 (nineteen years ago)
― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:54 (nineteen years ago)
but i also imagine him strong, and quiet absorbing me in his arms, as i weep about the state of the world.
he is the only man i imagine topping me...i saw him once in TO last year, and he was as handsome, old fashioned in his taciturn tendencies, i didnt know how to say TAKE ME NOW, so i didnt
― anthony easton (anthony), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:58 (nineteen years ago)
Anthony, you might have to fight me for'em.
― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:59 (nineteen years ago)
There are always threesomes, triads, circle jerks, orgies, and any number of other higher mathametics
― anthony easton (anthony), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:00 (nineteen years ago)
― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:02 (nineteen years ago)
― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:03 (nineteen years ago)
this makes up for all the mimsy indie-boy threads about his sister in the world, ally.
― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:04 (nineteen years ago)
― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:05 (nineteen years ago)
― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:06 (nineteen years ago)
― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:07 (nineteen years ago)
― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:08 (nineteen years ago)
xpost ...
― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:09 (nineteen years ago)
― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:10 (nineteen years ago)
― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:12 (nineteen years ago)
― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:13 (nineteen years ago)
― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:14 (nineteen years ago)
― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:15 (nineteen years ago)
― Je4nn3 ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:18 (nineteen years ago)
― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:19 (nineteen years ago)
He'd still have to explain the "These characters are not, like, gay" interview, and I might hafta slap him. Repeatedly.
― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:21 (nineteen years ago)
I need a Jake workout :(
― recriminations from the nitpicking woke (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 26 June 2019 02:45 (six years ago)
I can't
https://networthbuzz.com/uploads/biography/2019/7/11/fp-1562813345903.jpg
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 15 November 2019 19:05 (five years ago)
fuck sake.
― Heavy Messages (jed_), Friday, 15 November 2019 22:54 (five years ago)
i would c with his d in me amirite fellas?
― cheese canopy (map), Friday, 15 November 2019 23:00 (five years ago)
i'm pretty sure i saw him once in a chinatown bar in 2008
― cheese canopy (map), Friday, 15 November 2019 23:03 (five years ago)
my answer to this thread question is that he is both c (classic) and d (dreamy)
― cheese canopy (map), Friday, 15 November 2019 23:05 (five years ago)
He's extremely good in The Sisters Brothers (the film is decent) and seeing Jake and Riz Ahmed onscreen at the same time had a significant effect on me.
― Cocteau Twinks (jed_), Friday, 9 April 2021 17:58 (four years ago)
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EsQIQOiW8AIAptO.jpg
― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 22 July 2021 14:21 (four years ago)
JAKE CAN I JAB YOU TWICE
Jake Gyllenhaal: "More and more I find bathing to be less necessary, at times...I do also think that there’s a whole world of not bathing that is also really helpful for skin maintenance, and we naturally clean ourselves." https://t.co/9zrNFIooey pic.twitter.com/6DxY27DJPw— Kaiser@Celebitchy (@KaiseratCB) August 6, 2021
― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Friday, 6 August 2021 14:28 (four years ago)
I can bathe him.
― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 6 August 2021 14:34 (four years ago)
lol you don't get called a scruffy bastard when you're a sex-hunk. It reminds me of when the o.g. Ronaldo swapped shirts with Beckham and joked: his sweat smells like cologne!
― calzino, Friday, 6 August 2021 14:38 (four years ago)
I could have sworn this is like the third story I've seen this week about celebrities not bathing.
― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 6 August 2021 15:09 (four years ago)
same.
― Heavy Messages (jed_), Friday, 6 August 2021 15:11 (four years ago)
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/aug/05/i-dont-smell-meet-the-people-who-have-stopped-washing
― calzino, Friday, 6 August 2021 15:21 (four years ago)
please make it stop. everytime a rich person doesn't bathe i'm the one who has to shower in their place and i'm so so tired pic.twitter.com/saITex2SGZ— ben wasserman (@benwassertweet) August 6, 2021
― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 6 August 2021 21:53 (four years ago)
I drifted off for maybe 10 minutes, but the rest of the way I found The Guilty excruciating. Almost bailed.
― clemenza, Sunday, 26 September 2021 20:50 (three years ago)
Having trouble getting my head around the fact Morbs both saw and enjoyed Bubble Boy.
― Precious, Grace, Hill & Beard LTD. (C. Grisso/McCain), Sunday, 26 September 2021 21:29 (three years ago)
I liked the Danish Guilty but the concept definitely wears thin by the end. And the remake is 5 minutes longer, apparently
― Vinnie, Monday, 27 September 2021 02:27 (three years ago)
https://i.imgur.com/c5SY51q.jpg
― Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 10 January 2023 17:52 (two years ago)
https://i.imgur.com/hlMQbZt.jpg
― the dreaded dependent claus (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 28 August 2023 23:51 (one year ago)
Agreed
― H.P, Tuesday, 29 August 2023 10:50 (one year ago)
https://i.imgur.com/5mRz3jQ.png
― stuffing your suit pockets with cold, stale chicken tende (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 28 November 2023 00:14 (one year ago)
Nice mug
― omar little, Tuesday, 28 November 2023 00:43 (one year ago)
when will he give us a live action guy smiley
― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Tuesday, 28 November 2023 01:02 (one year ago)
Jake, I can take or leave.
Maggie, on the other hand . . . I can't.
― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Tuesday, 28 November 2023 14:10 (one year ago)
I remembered Jakey is younger than me, but I didn't remember it's only by a year and a half. Life is not fair
― active spectator of ecocide and dispossession (Eric H.), Tuesday, 28 November 2023 14:32 (one year ago)
Happy birthday!
https://www.instagram.com/p/C1FmKfTOvwI/
― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 20 December 2023 22:03 (one year ago)
https://i.ibb.co/S3mthSy/IMG-2540.jpg
― badpee pooper (Eric H.), Wednesday, 24 January 2024 21:26 (one year ago)
Papi.
― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 24 January 2024 21:35 (one year ago)
So.
― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 22 March 2024 12:01 (one year ago)
Watched Road House last night. JG is very good in it, but calling the movie tonally inconsistent would be very generous. And Conor McGregor looks like a CGI/motion capture gimmick.
― Tahuti Watches L&O:SVU Reruns Without His Ape (unperson), Friday, 22 March 2024 12:39 (one year ago)
how does it compare to the original?
― the absence of bikes (f. hazel), Friday, 22 March 2024 14:47 (one year ago)
you could never replicate the brilliance of that part were Dalton jumps over the front porch of his house with that amazing ballet move. that whole original movie is just gold every minute until the credits roll.
― scott seward, Friday, 22 March 2024 14:53 (one year ago)
I have a lot of thoughts, but basically this is an attempt to make a PG-13 Road House that the whole family can enjoy. The first one was about people who liked fucking, and punching each other. This one is about people who have never fucked, and only punch each other because they're forced into it. But hey, there's a precocious teen girl who says vaguely joke-like things to the protagonist.
― Tahuti Watches L&O:SVU Reruns Without His Ape (unperson), Friday, 22 March 2024 14:56 (one year ago)
That sounds absolutely fucking awful
― Ned Raggett, Friday, 22 March 2024 15:08 (one year ago)
The trouble is, there's already a good variant on Roadhouse in theaters called Love Lies Bleeding.
― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 22 March 2024 15:12 (one year ago)
Rather!
― Ned Raggett, Friday, 22 March 2024 15:13 (one year ago)
i think one key problem i have w/the idea of this film is Patrick Swayze was such an absolutely likable screen presence and JG is increasingly less so, and i feel like Roadhouse requires some kind of likable toughness, a kind of noble tough humility that PS was so good at.
― omar little, Friday, 22 March 2024 16:20 (one year ago)
speak for yourself!
― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 22 March 2024 16:24 (one year ago)
Yeah, Swayze was likable; Gyllenhaal is amiable. Two very different things.
Here's the difference between the two movies in a nutshell: in the original, Swayze wakes up and is doing naked tai chi and the female bartender from the roadhouse brings him breakfast and we see her blatantly ogling his naked ass. In this version, Gyllenhaal is awakened on the boat where he's living by the female bartender from the roadhouse; he's wearing boxer briefs and says, embarrassed, that he'll get dressed; she says, "Don't worry; I have brothers."
― Tahuti Watches L&O:SVU Reruns Without His Ape (unperson), Friday, 22 March 2024 16:27 (one year ago)
I envy those boxer briefs.
― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 22 March 2024 16:37 (one year ago)
https://i.imgur.com/qISx7Mj.jpg
― the talented mr pimply (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 17 November 2024 16:50 (eight months ago)
I knew this would be you.
― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 17 November 2024 17:43 (eight months ago)
well, yeah
― the talented mr pimply (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 17 November 2024 18:51 (eight months ago)
great pic of the dog
― more difficult than I look (Aimless), Sunday, 17 November 2024 19:17 (eight months ago)
https://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/theater/2025/03/28/jake-gyllenhaal-interview-othello-iago/
― the talented mr pimply (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 29 March 2025 15:19 (four months ago)
Re-screened Nightcrawler and End of Watch recently, he did have a hell of a run in the Obama days. Jake needs a Michael Mann project.
― Lady Sovereign (Citizen) (milo z), Thursday, 12 June 2025 07:33 (two months ago)
I'm halfway through his Presumed Innocent remake from last year and it's...pretty good? The "limited series" format gives it space to be as much about the effect of the crime and the affair on the protagonist's family, whereas I remember the earlier film being more just Harrison Ford against the world (did he even have kids in the original?). Anyway, Jake's up for an Emmy.
― cryptosicko, Thursday, 17 July 2025 13:05 (three weeks ago)
Presumed Innocent is a classic Poppy Bush Interzone thriller imo
― hungover beet poo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 17 July 2025 13:29 (three weeks ago)