Living in a seperate home from your partner C/D?

No arguments about trivial stuff, such as how messy she is and how uptight I am, and we only see each other when we want to and are on good form. When we rather fancy the idea of living together, I go to her place and we pretend to live together - one cooks, the other washes up, all that harmonius stuff - then I go home again. It's great.

That would be, erm, if I had a partner.

I simply like living alone too much to let someone else disturb it.

sadly, this is key. but only, i guess, if you both want to live alone, and not flatshare.

Surely, one should be *more* willing to compromise to live with a partner, since, not only would one presumably love said partner, but also, one gets more benefits than one would from non-partnered housemates?

Living with *anyone* requires compromise. Why should it be somehow different with a partner?

But I shall stop there, as my New Years resolution was not to air mine own relationship discontents on ILX.

Living with *anyone* requires compromise. Why should it be somehow different with a partner?

allow me to explain.

compromise on lifestyle quirks is inevitable, whether flatsharing or cohabiting: the chances are, your beloved won't put up with nail clippings in the kitchen sink, or whatever other awful habit, with any more enthusiasm than your flatmates.

however, cohabiting necessitates an often *vast* compromise in terms of available floor/storage space, cost of bills, privacy/personal space etc.

i'm a bit baffled as to how/why this would actually happen.

Yeah - seperate houses are the only option!

B-b-but that's even more expensive than a one-bedroom flat, Kate! sorry to state the obvious...

your beloved won't put up with nail clippings in the kitchen sink

i'm a bit baffled as to how/why this would actually happen.

-- Sororah T Massacre

I just made up (I stress: MADE UP) a horrible domestic habit to suit my point. Feel free to substitute it for your own unattractive peccadillo!

(I'm sure it's not impssible, if not especially pleasant, to imagine somebody cutting their fingernails over the sink...)

Not if you're splitting it, obviously!

I mean, this is quite an annoying subject to me because I was kicked out of my home by a partner who couldn't learn to compromise, but there's a huge part of me that just wants to shout at males GROW UP AND LEARN TO FREAKING COMPROMISE OR GO BACK TO FLATSHARELAND LIKE THE LITTLE BOY YOU CLEARLY STILL ARE.

-- Jordan

I'm obviously explaining this really badly! What I mean is, two people sharing the cost of a 2-bedroom flat is even more expensive than sharing the (already very expensive) cost of sharing a one-bedroom flat. or it is in london, anyway.

xpost haha, says the girl who is obviously so unwilling to compromise that she's bought her own place with moat, portcullis etc.

if there was anyway i could suggest separate living places to my girlfriend without her being sure i was trying to split us up, i would absolutely do this. it kind of seems like a recipe for distaster though, depending on how well one controls their temptations (fairly well for me, i guess, after 4 1/2 years together... but i worry myself sometimes).

amen!

We each have our own room with our own computers and stuff. Mine also substitutes for the guest room while his is filled with video equipment. Maybe the fact that my room is sometimes public makes him feel he's free to comment on my un-tidyness. I just tell him not to start b/c it's my room and none of his business. (it still bothers me though)

It is dawning on me that I am the difficult one to live with in my partnership, and Mister Monkey might be the one who craves separate living space. Mind you, he does have his own room with his computer and stuff in it while I have my desk in a corner of the kitchen.

xpost to misery!

It is dawning on me that I am the difficult one to live with in my partnership,

haha, although my partner definitely has his little annoying habits (putting wet towels in the hamper, being very loud in the morning when he gets up and I'm still in bed) I am *definitely* the hard one to live with. We even discussed this before moving in together. My chemical imbalances, mood swings and the like make me quite a treat I'm sure. But he manages, and I love him for it.

This seems increasingly like a brilliant idea to me.

Oh, I was lied to. By someone!

By BRUCE WEBER
Woody Allen, the prolific film maker who once confessed that "I like to spend my time with work and only a limited time with kids," filed suit yesterday against his longtime companion, Mia Farrow, for custody of their three children. Mr. Allen and Ms. Farrow, who have been a couple since 1980 but who never married or lived together, have long been objects of curiosity around New York City, for their celebrity status, their general shunning of publicity and their unusual relationship. Their separate apartments face each other across Central Park -- his on the east side, hers on the west -- and Ms. Farrow, who has been married twice (to Frank Sinatra and Andre Previn) has a total of 11 children, seven of whom are adopted.

By the New York Times!

Charlie, we have a master bedroom where we sleep, keep clothes etc. Although on more than one occasion, a night out with too much imbibing has found me taking my pillows and going to sleep in the guest bed.

So the master bedroom is what you earlier referred to as "his" room?

go figure

no, he has a side video business so one of our three bedrooms is filled with all of his equipment, monitors, computers. I never go in there b/c I'm afraid I'll fuck something up.

This house also has a large converted garage with carpeting and everything that we use for storage and stuff. We've been spoiled here as if we choose to buy a house in the city we won't be able to afford so much square footage. (renting now) It's looking more and more like we'll live in the country.

My ex-boyfriend (who I lived with, then broke up with and moved out, then got back together) joked we'd buy a duplex one day and grow old together each living on our seperate sides. But he was a dick so the idea is tainted for me.