trying not to use people...

also i think it might be better to be in a subpar relationship than single for another four or so years?

hm. thanks drunk bloke on the internet, though.

if you can't be happy being by yourself, you're probably not going to bring much to a relationship anyway.

i bring massive amounts of selfdepricating wit, at any rate... and elipses.

then you are just selfish and using her.

How do you know your true love didn't just walk down the street you would have taken if you were snug but unsatisfied with your bed buddy?

xpost

or maybe you're right & i am just trying to justify myself.

i have never been anything but single before... happy single & sad single, excited single & bored single. hmm

i am too obnoxious for a truelove. who had four nice years to walk down the street and woo me. har har

No. All relationships involve spoken and unspoken negotiations between peers, but if you see it as using your partner to the extent you can get away with, and allowing yourself to be used to the extent you'll tolerate, you're not mature enough for a girlfriend. Let her go unless she's inflatable and battery powered.

but then, i don't really know either what i want you all to convince me of.

i don't see it as using her; i don't know if i am using her. i think providing something someone needs in exchnage for them providing that for you is maybe OK. but maybe not.

i am not terribly mature, no. but then i don't really know how to get more mature, i dont think, aside from through interacting with other people & kind of figuring it out, eh?

that's all fine but when you're under the umbrella of a "relationship" it could get messy. remember - girls are likely to downplay their feelings for you for a while because they're afraid of guys getting scared or freaked or feeling pressured and running away.

xpost - interesting!

seeking advice could = getting an excuse to end it and not feel quite as bad

that is also perhaps why i don't know at all how i feel y'know? (which is the most upsetting part, because i always know exactly how i feel about everything & everyone... usually within a few minutes of meeting them)

This is fine when both of you are seventy and looking for someone to share bills and chat with so you don't die alone. It's not okay when you're young and both of you still have a chance to get out there and find a truly fun and exciting relationship.

The only wise thing my younger brother ever said was "it's better to regret breaking up with someone than staying with them".

As for Ken's comment, so sadly OTM for me at the moment. i am basically waiting for her to get rid of me.

And Markelby also spot on. I have nothing really to add, merely that your situation is understandable, I know cos I understand it.

or her.

I actually feel sorry for the original questioner. I think if you both know what you want/are getting from the relationship and are happy with less than 100% stars and roses then good luck to the pair of you. Maybe better off than devoting yourself to a search for people who make your pulse race but are not necessarily good to be around. E.g. if you had a history of abusive relationships then a non-abusive person might seem boring on some level but actually be the right one.

Who says it doesn't?