Who's your bottom? (i.e. the last person you'd EVER had sex with)

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This is a fun game invented by my friends and I, which started when I was asked the question, "who would you have sex with, George W. Bush or Dick Cheney?" I chose George W.

The goal is to figure out who is the very last person you'd ever hop in the sack with, i.e. your "bottom."

Rules: there is no "I'd rather die" clause. You MUST choose one or the other. If you don't choose one or the other, you have to have sex with BOTH.

After playing this game for several weekends now, my "bottom" remains Michael Jackson. I'd have sex with Carrot Top, R. Kelly, and Janet Reno before I'd touch Jacko. My friend Ann's bottom is, curiously, Jamie Foxx. My friend Mike 2's is, more curiously, Marc Summers, host of "Double Dare" on nickolodeon.

So... who's your bottom?

Or, if you don't know for sure then choose one: Bush or Dick.

― not sure about pickles (Jacqui Pickles), Sunday, 5 February 2006 08:18 (twenty years ago)

justice alito's wife.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Sunday, 5 February 2006 08:44 (twenty years ago)

Probably this guy:

http://www.singingfool.com/photos/797/033501_16.jpg

Image rather appropriately located at singingf00l.com

― She's been known to sleep on piles of dry leaves... (papa november), Sunday, 5 February 2006 09:15 (twenty years ago)

errrrr....I mean

http://www.singingfool.com/photos/797/033501_16.jpg

― She's been known to sleep on piles of dry leaves... (papa november), Sunday, 5 February 2006 09:16 (twenty years ago)

There's a twist to this game though: in that when you mentally reach the very last person,there's kind of horrific aspect to it that would make for at least an interesting experience.

― Bob Six (bobbysix), Sunday, 5 February 2006 09:19 (twenty years ago)

Who is that person in the picture? I feel like I know him, but I can't quite place him.

― not sure about pickles (Jacqui Pickles), Sunday, 5 February 2006 16:41 (twenty years ago)

Bob, I feel like you must not have found your absolute bottom of the barrel bottom if you are saying this.

― not sure about pickles (Jacqui Pickles), Sunday, 5 February 2006 16:42 (twenty years ago)

that's ben lee, pickles.

― POOP BITCH (Mandee), Sunday, 5 February 2006 16:52 (twenty years ago)

I played this for six years at school. It was better than the other 'game' we played where someone would bring in a magazine, and we'd go through each page and each have to pick which of the models we'd rather be, or which of the clothes we'd rather have. That was rubbish. But they were both fun alternatives to bitching about girls we hated. I went to an all girls school with no playground, which is probnably the best breeding ground for games that aren't really games but just conversations you have when you can't really be bothered having a conversation.

My answer to the question is probably Rob Schneider. I have never seen a film with him in, but he really repulses me.

― Cathy (Cathy), Sunday, 5 February 2006 17:01 (twenty years ago)

I think my bottom would be Jared Fogel of the Subway commercials.

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Sunday, 5 February 2006 17:12 (twenty years ago)

but he lost so much weight!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 5 February 2006 19:01 (twenty years ago)

ugh, his mouth is horrendous

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Sunday, 5 February 2006 19:08 (twenty years ago)

― truck-patch pixel farmer (my crop froze in the field) (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 5 February 2006 19:51 (twenty years ago)

I think my own answer is Pamela Anderson, though I confess the first name that popped into my head was "Ron Jeremy."

― truck-patch pixel farmer (my crop froze in the field) (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 5 February 2006 19:52 (twenty years ago)

http://ilx.wh3rd.net/users.php?board=1

― james van der beek (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 5 February 2006 19:53 (twenty years ago)

Is this only a celebrity-based game? Cause otherwise my answer will probably always be "my dad." I mean, I dunno, if it's between my dad and Son of Sam or something, I might feel more comfortable with my dad, cause he loves me and everything. But still. Also is this restricted to our own sexual orientations? Cause if not I might have to say it's Goatse. Or Muhammad Ali. Except possibly you could get with Goatse without ever actually touching him. That'd be a paradox, I dunno if that counts. Even if it's just women, I dunno, I saw this woman with a fat baby on Maury Povich once where I'd probably rather get with my mom. I mean, if we had to, we could get through it. As a family, you know. Plus what if I was really grossed out by the fat-baby lady, and she could tell, and she got really violent about it? I mean, are there guards here? Do they know you're being forced, or do you actually have to pretend like you're into it? I mean, I'd probably pretend I was into it either way, just to be polite, but still. Also does there have to be kissing and stuff, or could you just be all like "a sex act is officially achieved here, we're done?" Oh and what about people with diseases, like horrible skin conditions or degenerative stuff? Or really super-old people?

It's probably just celebrities, though, isn't it.

― nabisco (nabisco), Sunday, 5 February 2006 20:17 (twenty years ago)

haha!

― cozen (Cozen), Sunday, 5 February 2006 20:20 (twenty years ago)

That's the first time I've ever heard Goatse referred to as a celebrity, and I love it!

― melton mowbray (adr), Sunday, 5 February 2006 20:25 (twenty years ago)

Michael Douglas. I need this to be about celebrities, because the avenues nabisco has introduced...that way madness lies.

― horseshoe, Sunday, 5 February 2006 20:51 (twenty years ago)

Ben Lee? Hah! God almighty that is a good choice.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Sunday, 5 February 2006 20:55 (twenty years ago)

http://gameboyrmh.atspace.com/brianpeppers.jpg

― A BOLD QUAHOG (ex machina), Sunday, 5 February 2006 20:57 (twenty years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v205/tubesocks/awkward.jpg

― killy (baby lenin pin), Sunday, 5 February 2006 21:09 (twenty years ago)

Lock it.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Sunday, 5 February 2006 21:11 (twenty years ago)

Killy's gotten tea all over my monitor (and I love how Wayne's been cropped now)!

xpost :)

― melton mowbray (adr), Sunday, 5 February 2006 21:12 (twenty years ago)

my answer will probably always be "my dad."

awww!! that belongs on a hallmark card or something.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 5 February 2006 21:31 (twenty years ago)

I agree with Nabisco. His Dad is my bottom too.

― paulhw (paulhw), Sunday, 5 February 2006 23:00 (twenty years ago)

correction: there's a missing "up" in that second sentence.

― paulhw (paulhw), Monday, 6 February 2006 00:44 (twenty years ago)

My mother-in-law. No question about it.

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Monday, 6 February 2006 03:38 (twenty years ago)

incidentally there's something really wrong with the phrasing and terminology being used here.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 6 February 2006 03:44 (twenty years ago)

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