Formula 1: Classic Or Dud?

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A thrilling fusion of human skill and supreme technological force, or blokes in cars going round the same track sixty-six fucking times? Loved by all Dads.

Possible deciding factor either way: it shunts CDUK back a half hour and truncates it on the Saturdays when Ant & Dec and the Grand Prix clash.

― Tom, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Beyond dud. The most pointless 'sport' imaginable. They don't even start off on an even playing field - they've all got different cars, for goodness' sake.

― DG, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

And some of them start in front of others. I'm sorry, Tom, this is the Frank and Walters: CoD of ILE.

― mark s, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

F1 is bollocks. Even if one of the great crushes of my life wrote an entire freaking soap opera about it.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm not saying it's good, quite the reverse. But for some reason I had the impression that certain UK INDIE LUMINARIES (though possibly only A Fitchett) thought F1 was the Sport Of Kings so perhaps some debate would follow. They're probably all off watching the Strokes, though.

We could always summon Dr C from ILM for a brief sojourn to see if my Dadhood = F1 Fandom theory holds. I suspect it only holds for Dads with Kids old enough to understand and be bored by the thing. No I can't mend your puncture I'm watching the Grand Prix.

― Tom, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The dad/F1 connection needs explaining. As for indie types, they usually fall into one of two camps - All Sport Is Rubbish (eg me) or Football Fanatics (mostly Oasis fan beerboy types).

― DG, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Football and indie have a long and honourable connection, though, cf. El Records' loving collections of lower-division club singles. There was also always one (only one at any given time, at least pre- Britpop) individual who had the honour of being the Indie Footballer. Boyhood hero of all good NME readers, this fellow, because in theory while his OAFISH teammates would be getting down to some serious Vandross or Simply Red, he would be sulking at the back of the bus with the Mary Chain on his walkman. When I read the NME this position was filled by one Pat Nevin.

― Tom, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh my god, what a thundering dud. I know a lot of people into Formual one and I cant understand why. It's like horseracing with cars except they dont go over any hurdles. I suspect every Formula One fan is a sick puppy who only watches so he can see cars crash or burn horribly.

― , Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dont know anyone from an indie band who's into it either.

― Michael, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Another indie footballer was Barry Horne (Southampton, i think). He was into the Buzzcocks and Siuoxsie and the Banshees.

― Michael, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

What the blazes am I jabbering on about? It's nothing like horseracing.

― Michael, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Classic. It's about the only live sport left on free-to-air TV here so I watch it religiously. Got up at 4:45am Monday to see the Canadian race. Don't think about it beyond the two hours it's on, but wouldn't miss those two hours. If it went to pay-TV, then fuck it, dud.

― AP, Tuesday, 12 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I like when cars blow up or people die or both. In that way, Classic.

The waiting is the hardest part...

― JM, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

F1 is way too much about technology, and not enough about guys jumping out of burning cars. It's all about NASCAR; those confederate crackerjacks don't even allow fuel injection! Plus, to jump out of a stock car, you have to squeeze through the window Luke Duke style, whereas with F1 cars they can just remove the steering wheel and hop out. Alright, so I don't actually watch NASCAR, but I'm glad it exists. I do watch monster truck racing if it's on.

― Kris, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

of course formula 1 is dud, what a pointless waste of time. they should just show scaletrix and save some money.

pat nevin wrote some sleevenotes for a durutti column record once didn't he?

― gareth, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Classic. Although Tom should note that I refrained from watching the Canadian highlights when we got in from the pub on Sunday. First GP I've missed this season.

― alex thomson, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Very polite of you Alex, esp. given the "highlights" you did get subjected to. Are you sure you've not fathered an illegitimate child, thus giving you license to hold these opinions?

― Tom, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It would indeed be a very passive 'old-school dad' thing (slumped on sofa...where's my dinner...go and play I'm watching the 'motor- racing'). But it's surprising how many men seem to fit the male stereotype of being interested in cars per se.

― David, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Cars = rubbish. On the Dexion Shelving Theory of the Brain, much important space is wasted knowing the diff between a Ixion P- 2300 and a Pogus 7-12 Turbo-Felcher, when it could be filled up remembering the order of tracks on Relayer.

Police: What make of car was it Mr S?
Mark S: It was blue, and kind of roundy at the back like a space-podule.

― mark s, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It's not enough that I'm innundated with all sorts of "interesting" automotive manufacturing questions all day, people have to bring up cars here as well?

(Insert action movie sequence where the hero sees his family/partner/love interest about to blown up by evil druglord/terrorist -- he runs towards the scene in the slow motion, screaming in that funkily drawn out way:)

"Nooo-oooo-oooh-ah!"

As you can probably imagine by now, my thoughts on racing of any kind: absolute dud.

― Nicole, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Cars bore me silly too - realised only the other day that I will probably NEVER learn to drive - but I wonder if F1 would be more interesting/exciting if it had a musical S/T rather than Murray Walker (whoever) wibbling on and on. Excellent cross-promotional opportunities for the recent Neu reissues, if nothing else...

― Andrew L, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Does it not still have "The Chain" by Fleetwood Mac?

The day I realised I had lost the plot was the day I flipped (by mistake) onto BBC, to hear a Top Gear item being wackily introduced by a man copping 'tood at 70s fashions.

On a programme called Top Gear!

I sat next to a man at a dinner party last year who defended Jeremy Clarkson from a class perspective, and then — hearing what I did, whatever that is — assumed I had read AND appreciated Nick Hornby, as he did. This man is abt to marry the sexiest woman I know.

― mark s, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

'The Chain' was the 'intellectual property' of the Beeb or somesuch - F1 now on ITV, and features something godawful by Jamiroquai over the credits.

― Andrew L, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Not intellectual property: BBC has the right, free and gratis, to play any music made by anyone anywhere on any of its programmes. It's in the Charter. (This is true, or used to be.)

― mark s, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Methinks Jeremy Clarkson is another candidate for the cultural nadir award.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Formula Ome is just slightly less boring than Tennis. Zrooom Zrooom ad nauseum, how many times do they have to go round that track? And they keep shortening CD:UK to make way for QUALIFYING!...Grand Prix indeed.

― james e l, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I enjoy tennis. Bowling is boring. And all forms of racing, especially NASCAR.

― Jeff, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Bowling is boring.

No..Bowling is great. But the ultimate bore is Snooker

― David, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I like snooker. As much because its full of drunks and gangsters as because of the 'run of play', mind you.

― Tom, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sounds like a Guy Ritchie movie. Thus, a dud.

― Nicole, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There already is one, and Guy probably wishes he'd made it: [something something] and the Legend of the Green Baize Vampire. With Phil [watsname] from Quadrophenia. Who had a band called The Cross.

See: memory = fucked.

― mark s, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The biggest F1 fan I know is my rather blokish uncle renowned for his, erm, *confusion*: he once told me that he was "worried" about Bush despite the fact that, in common with GWB, he himself supported the death penalty and opposed abortion.

Quite a nice bloke really though. Has always voted Lib Dem from 87 onwards, though voted Tory in 83 fearing that the Soviets would would bomb Britain. And this is my closest experience of F1 fandom. Hmmmmmm ...

Nothing else in any Murdoch paper is as vile as Clarkson's Sunday Times column, incidentally.

― Robin Carmody, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I can't wait for The Fast & the Furious, that's gonna be way better than Formula 1.

― Otis Wheeler, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

F1 is clearly GRATE, murray kicks ass, he's more likely to die on air than any of the drivers these days, and martin brundle's pit walks are always good for a laugh. Mind you, it's not as good as the darts, which is clearly *the* best televised sport.

― carsmilesteve, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh, the stokes were poo last nite btw, the moldy peaches, on the other hand, are more than likely the future of all modern music!!

― carsmilesteve, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh yeah; that's two more ways NASCAR beats F-1: "Days of Thunder" and "Driven". When has there ever been a good F-1 movie? Though "Pole Position" is a hell of a lot better than any NASCAR game, I suppose. The only pinball game that comes to mind is "Indy 500" which decides nothing.

― Kris, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Days of Thunder is a good movie? Eh?

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Wednesday, 13 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

F1 sux0r. THeY SHouLD aLL Be ForCeD To CoMPeTE iN RiLeY 1.5's, oR WolSeLeY 1300's, or suchlike. Then it would r0x0r.

x0x0

― Norman Fay, Thursday, 14 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

For the sake of balance (or just to toss a spanner into Tom's big, silver stereotype machine), I should say that the only F1 fan I know is a left-leaning Canadian woman in her late 20s.

Can't stand it, myself. Is there a form of car-racing which isn't this tedious? In the way that top-class male grass-court tennis is boring (well, more folks are staying back and rallying than before, so maybe it's recovered from its mid-90s nadir), but women playing on grass is pretty good, and men playing on slow-ish hardcourts is entertaining too. Perhaps speed is the problem? Make 'em all drive Y-reg Austin Allegros around provincial estates (*observing* the speed limits, dammit).

― Michael Jones, Friday, 15 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one month passes...

Heinz-Ketchup Frentzen out on his ass. Fired! D'oh! Zonta back! And Irvine QUICKEST after first day qualifying for German GP — something fuct there. (My most boring post ever!!)

― AP, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

This post is coevred in cobwebs and odd names I have not seen before. I am scared. JOSH ! HELP!

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

At university, I got quite into sitting in all Sunday and watching F1 on the TV. But then I got into a lot of bad TV habits at university. I still feel my interest might be revived. I mean it goes 'rrrrrRRRRRRRRRRROWWWWWWW' over and over again and you can't argue with that. Beats the hell out the gentle thwack of willow on leather.

― Nick, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You'd have to ask Mark S about the gentle thwack of leather on Willow.

― Tom, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Classic. There may be a Tom/Pete/Alex fight over this on Saturday and Sunday...

― alex thomson, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Dud. But I don't care because the pre-season friendlies have started and soon the football season will be upon us again, in all its glory.

Autumn officially begins on August 11 and I can't wait.

― Tim, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Colombian fusehead Juan-A-Snort Montoya takes poll! But can he stay on road?! Doubtful! Can anyone [please] beat M. Shoemaker? Only eight hours till race start!! Whooo!!!

― AP, Saturday, 28 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The sport of choice for the "Squeal Like a Pig" crowd. I wouldn't be shocked if Chimpboy's a fan, esp. since Dick Petty used to enthusiastically shuck-and-jive for Jesse Helms.

Ergo, dud.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Will Mika Happifin have meltdown [again] on start grid? Will Trulli last even 1/2 the race? Will Coulthard fit his gigantic jaw inside his helmet? Less than 1/2 hour till race start! Wheeee!!

― AP, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Whooooooooooo!!! Massive crash on start grid! Ferrari, Arrows, Prost: one each destroyed! Bernoldi lucky not to be decapitated! Restart in 20 minutes!!

― AP, Sunday, 29 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Villeneuve gets third! Doesn't punch anyone at press conference!! Overall: yer "race of attrition"!! (Even Benetton in points. Twice!)

― AP, Monday, 30 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Skipping 221 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

I don't understand why anyone would be a fan of Formula 1, much less any of the drivers. It's a terrible business and they are bad people.

― caek, Sunday, 2 November 2008 23:28 (sixteen years ago)

There's very few sports where you can actively support, y'know, Francoists or Apartheid or whatever. Unless you're a Lazio fan, obv.

― Peter "One Dart" Manley (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Sunday, 2 November 2008 23:29 (sixteen years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v48/w1nt3rmut3/ec18a9e5477ae5462d706bec8fdf10f2.gif

― Dan I., Sunday, 2 November 2008 23:30 (sixteen years ago)

Glock didn't chose not to come in to change his tyres and was losing control in the last lap, which allowed Hamilton through. There is no reason why Hamilton might be more appealing than Massa in China or India (Middle East is no new market).

Its not all that as a sport I agree.

― xyzzzz__, Monday, 3 November 2008 11:14 (sixteen years ago)

lol @ gif

it's not a great sport but hell the BBC having acquired the rights will ride it for all it's worth now; enough ppl love it to sustain massive interest

― restraint and blindness (Just got offed), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:17 (sixteen years ago)

Hamilton's wheels not falling off on the grid proves there's no god imo

― Nothing has transpired (Noodle Vague), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:18 (sixteen years ago)

Would be funny if, after the BBC forsaking all other sport ever to get the F1 rights, Hamilton finished seventh next season.

― Peter "One Dart" Manley (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:20 (sixteen years ago)

TS: Mansell's dodgy tyres vs Timo Glock

― India's second-favourite Australian popstar (King Boy Pato), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:22 (sixteen years ago)

the BBC's priorities are frankly a fucking joke, yes

surprising amount of trollish "glock threw it" sentiment among seemingly rational commenters

― restraint and blindness (Just got offed), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:23 (sixteen years ago)

WTF would rational commenters be doing on a F1 thread?

― Nothing has transpired (Noodle Vague), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:24 (sixteen years ago)

oh wait

― Nothing has transpired (Noodle Vague), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:24 (sixteen years ago)

I personally thought it was a great result because it's sure to give us a few choice slabs of Ronspeak in the coming week. Stoked for that.

― India's second-favourite Australian popstar (King Boy Pato), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:24 (sixteen years ago)

ronny for SPOTY

WTF is ronny? I thought that Chris Hoy had it sewn up until yesterday.

― Billy Dods, Monday, 3 November 2008 11:25 (sixteen years ago)

this is a fair point xps to nv

i mean i even prefer rugby to F1 but this has given me some sort of vicarious thrill, even if the dude has forsaken his homeland (like every F1 driver not born in Monaco)

"wtf is ronny", gimme a break

― restraint and blindness (Just got offed), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:26 (sixteen years ago)

even if the dude has forsaken his homeland

not everyone needs a local shooting club, jagger

― India's second-favourite Australian popstar (King Boy Pato), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:28 (sixteen years ago)

Besides, even Mansell moved to the Isle of Man.

― India's second-favourite Australian popstar (King Boy Pato), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:28 (sixteen years ago)

No seriously, is ronny Ronaldo? Cuz,unless his birth certificate is wrong he'll never win SPOTY.

― Billy Dods, Monday, 3 November 2008 11:30 (sixteen years ago)

Also unless working class peeps start voting for SPOTY.

― Nothing has transpired (Noodle Vague), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:31 (sixteen years ago)

― restraint and blindness (Just got offed), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:32 (sixteen years ago)

Ron Dennis surely with an acceptance speech for the ages.

― India's second-favourite Australian popstar (King Boy Pato), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:32 (sixteen years ago)

xpost
Oh, you mean Ronnie.

― Billy Dods, Monday, 3 November 2008 11:32 (sixteen years ago)

Paying tribute to the outstanding performance and synergy of the Vodafone McLaren Mercedes organisation and its core partners.

― India's second-favourite Australian popstar (King Boy Pato), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:33 (sixteen years ago)

gah look i just woke

and for some reason when youtube searching i typed in "ronnie"

― restraint and blindness (Just got offed), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:33 (sixteen years ago)

I, Ronnie

― Nothing has transpired (Noodle Vague), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:34 (sixteen years ago)

Still, fair play to Hamilton for being the first gay guy to compete in F1.

― Peter "One Dart" Manley (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:34 (sixteen years ago)

Actually, wait, if you date a transvestite does that make you gay?

― Peter "One Dart" Manley (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:34 (sixteen years ago)

Jagger?

― Peter "One Dart" Manley (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:34 (sixteen years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sol/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/04/football_sports_personality0_what_happened_next0/img/7.jpg

HI DERE

― Nothing has transpired (Noodle Vague), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:35 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.virginmedia.com/images/graham-hill-400x300.jpg

CAN'T FUCK WIT DNA

― Nothing has transpired (Noodle Vague), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:36 (sixteen years ago)

he hasn't forsaken his homeland he's just choosing not to pay taxes to his homeland's government. since he spends most of the year away from the UK, from his point of view, he's just exercising financial prudence.

not that I agree with him doing it, but I don't think it makes him any less British.

― senator which fanta girl u blap? (Upt0eleven), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:39 (sixteen years ago)

Still, fair play to Hamilton for being the first gay guy to compete in F1.

No, I've been convinced for many years that Coulthard is closeted.

Self-important male model fantasies + parade of temporary girlfriends seemingly there for show + unhealthy bonding with Jacques Villeneuve = well, y'know.

― India's second-favourite Australian popstar (King Boy Pato), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:39 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.monacorichlist.com/photos/David%20Coulthard.jpg

Looks straight to me

― Nothing has transpired (Noodle Vague), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:41 (sixteen years ago)

In the pantheon of Great British Formula One Heroes, Hamilton is way above Damon Hill (F1's answer to Britpop) but will never reach Mansell (moody Brummie with a mustache - come on).

― India's second-favourite Australian popstar (King Boy Pato), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:42 (sixteen years ago)

Looks straight to me

There's a really homoerotic black and white picture of Coulthard, Villeneuve and Mika Salo which I fortunately do not have on file.

― India's second-favourite Australian popstar (King Boy Pato), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:43 (sixteen years ago)

Actually, wait, if you date a transvestite does that make you gay?

― restraint and blindness (Just got offed), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:43 (sixteen years ago)

I wonder how Jenson Button feels this morning.

― Peter "One Dart" Manley (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:44 (sixteen years ago)

Sluggish, like usual

― Nothing has transpired (Noodle Vague), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:44 (sixteen years ago)

Worried about unemployment figures, surely.

― India's second-favourite Australian popstar (King Boy Pato), Monday, 3 November 2008 11:45 (sixteen years ago)

eight months pass...

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/formula_1/article6633340.ece

Mr Ecclestone said: “In a lot of ways, terrible to say this I suppose, but apart from the fact that Hitler got taken away and persuaded to do things that I have no idea whether he wanted to do or not, he was in the way that he could command a lot of people, able to get things done.
“In the end he got lost, so he wasn’t a very good dictator because either he had all these things and knew what was going on and insisted, or he just went along with it . . . so either way he wasn’t a dictator.” He also rounded on democracy, claiming that “it hasn’t done a lot of good for many countries — including this one (Britain)”.

― caek, Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:11 (fifteen years ago)

Well now I don't know what to think.

― Ismael Klata, Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:22 (fifteen years ago)

^ another drawback of non-totalitarianism

― Ismael Klata, Saturday, 4 July 2009 18:10 (fifteen years ago)

good luck QPR

― Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Monday, 6 July 2009 10:53 (fifteen years ago)

most dud sport ever. i'll just go outside of my house if i want to see cars circling around.

― dan138zig (Durrr Durrr Durrrrrr), Monday, 6 July 2009 11:18 (fifteen years ago)

you live on a roundabout?

― Great Scott! It's Molecular Man. (Ste), Monday, 6 July 2009 11:34 (fifteen years ago)

six years pass...

Today? Classic!

― StanM, Sunday, 15 May 2016 15:32 (nine years ago)

five years pass...

does anyone who still posts here watch f1? i've kind of gotten hooked thanks to the netflix series.

― call all destroyer, Monday, 19 July 2021 01:25 (three years ago)

two years pass...

Kate Wagner of McMansion Hell (and some great cycling journalism too) was sent by Road & Track magazine (and Ineos - she explains) to the United States Grand Prix in Austin. If you know her writing, you could probably guess what happens next.

"Behind F1's Velvet Curtain" is pantheon-level writing. In there with "The Kentucky Derby Is Decadent and Depraved." Check it out...

― Elvis Telecom, Saturday, 9 March 2024 04:13 (one year ago)

*rubs hands together*

― brimstead, Saturday, 9 March 2024 04:59 (one year ago)

yay thx Elvis

― werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 9 March 2024 05:07 (one year ago)

I never click on this thread but glad I did today - thanks, love me some Kate Wagner

― Roz, Saturday, 9 March 2024 05:24 (one year ago)

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