at what age does it become more normal to be in a relationship than single?

I wouldn't sweat it.

perhaps it has to do with the restricted bounds of your environment, or the places from which people are extracted?

xpost there's the saying that if you can't get laid in college, you never will.

Am I the only one who laughed out loud at this?

I know myself and 2 other friends both began our current relationships within about 3 weeks of each other about a year ago. Was kind of weird actually, especially everyone meeting!

But I have definitely, DEFINITELY had times in the past, (like loads of times!) where I thought "wtf everyone I know is going out with someone".

I never really thought "what is wrong with me" in detail though I did wonder if I was somehow different for it to take me longer to find a relationship, which is reasonable I guess, I suppose it's best not to do this negatively.

It tends to hit home most when you're staying in because a whole load of friends are out with their partners, but now I am in a relationship I don't really think I suddenly discovered the secret or anything.

I mean, my GRANDAD uses the internet nowdays for gods sake. Quit it with the "haha internet mentalists would have no idea" cocksuckery already, its old.

I guess the age at which more of my friends were in a relationship than were single was late 20s some time. But these things (at least with quite a few of my friends) are always in flux.

(Well actually there is - "Why don't you find a girlfriend so you can come away on holiday with us?")

I'm still on the idea that the question itself is a lot like "when should I have lost my virginity by?" It's less about what all your friends are doing and more about what makes you happy. I'm sure you're fine Maria.

and thanks, i know that i am fine. i don't regret my choices or fear i'll never get another date. i'm just surprised suddenly, and the question was me wondering whether this is a weird fluke, or something i'd better get used to as the general state of social circles from now on.

Answer to the thread question: when your friends stop coupling up within their immediate social circle, 90210-style. It becomes more difficult to do this after college (unless you're on 90210).

I think there's something to the age 26-27 thing ... almost all of my married friends were serious with their partners by that age.

It's maybe projection on his part. *wink wink*

To answer the question: I would assume once you hit 30, it seems strange that you are't or have never been in a long relationship maybe? I know that once you hit your 30s people do start to question why a particular person hasn't had a girlfriend or isn't married yet. BUt this tends to be older people who make those remarks. I remember hearing a guy (in his fifty) say: When we were in our twenties and you weren't married, you were a lost case in my time. I could only giggle and breathe a huge sigh of relief. I think nowadays it isn't frowned upon (just like remaining childless). *shrug*

That said, a lot of the coupled friends still shy away from marriage and most of the married ones have no intention of having children at this time.

especially if I think what I've done in that year.

Am I the only one who laughed out loud at this?

No

I don't intend to ever get too serious about 'life'.

It's wierd. I appear to be going to a lot of weddings this year. However most entering into marriage seem to be at least slightly older than me. However there's a fair proportion of my friends in no relationship or in unconventional relationships, right across the age spectrum.

Do you judge your life and your decisions by what your friends do, or by what feels right for you?

There are loads of things that loads people do every day that make no sense to me whatsoever, so I cannot bring myself to conceive of them as normal, no matter how normative or generalised they might be.

Some days I walk down Streatham High Street and I don't understand how all this city sprawl and cars and buildings can even be normal, it's all artificial and I can see the "real" London struggling to get out in all the trees and grass growing in the cracks.

But that's a derailment.

That's means and modes and bell curves, not "normal".

It's not a great question though. If anything is not normal it's the situation Maria described re her friends all coming out as couples in the same week. I suppose VD (arf) may have been a factor but still.

Nothing (too) personal, Kate. I don't like the "not doing what everybody else does" = not "normal" either, and this question is particularly stinging since I am noticeably older and single. I just didn't see the point in attacking someone who is insecure about being alone, even if they are somewhat ridiculously doing so when they are (apparently) 18-22.

'x-post

(Except, amoung my friends, homeowners are waaaayyy in the minority.)

i don't really feel any pressure from my peers to couple off but now that my sister is essentially engaged, i'm feeling like i'm lagging behind in terms of my family. it may be because she's my older sister and i've always felt this need to do as well or better than her so i will be noticed. no one in may family really says anything to me about why i'm not in a relationship or whatever, but i sense that some of them wonder about me or pity me. i may be projecting that out of some unconscious want for a real relationship or feeling of inferiority, though. but generally, the only time i feel like i should be married or having kids is when i'm around extended family, like i need to impress them or something. other than that i'm fine working on myself until the right person/situation comes along.

The original question is pretty much unanswerable, or else it's so drastically subjective that the answer wd be different for every person/social group/environment.

How much younger are you than your older sister, T?