I wrote to a writer and got a gruff reply

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I feel a bit hurt. I recently wrote to a famous writer, someone I admire, telling him how much I like his work and asking him if he has any tips on how I could get into teaching poetry (something I know he himself does), and he wrote back the following: "cheer man". That's it. And I can't understand, if it is meant to be rude, what I did to offend the man. My lip's wobbling...

― James Ghost, Thursday, 16 February 2006 14:28 (twenty years ago)

At least you got a reply!

― C J (C J), Thursday, 16 February 2006 14:29 (twenty years ago)

It's probably not meant to be rude so much as reflecting the fact that he probably gets a lot of letters and is quite busy. He is thanking you for your letter which is something!

Basically, the job of writers is to write, not give careers advice. Harsh but true.

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 16 February 2006 14:34 (twenty years ago)

That's true. But, on balance, I rather wish he hadn't.

Bytheway, it was actually "cheer*s* man" - he wasn't telling me to shout in rejoicement.

― James Ghost, Thursday, 16 February 2006 14:37 (twenty years ago)

x-post

― James Ghost, Thursday, 16 February 2006 14:38 (twenty years ago)

Oh. I thought 'cheer man' was kind of cool and strange :(

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 16 February 2006 14:39 (twenty years ago)

"cheer man" would have been much better. I'm disappointed in this guy now.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 16 February 2006 14:40 (twenty years ago)

I wrote to Douglas Adams once, accusing him of plagiarizing Lem. He wrote back
a decent sized paragraph claiming it was a wild coincidence, blah blah blah.
(Bullshit.)

― shieldforyoureyes, Thursday, 16 February 2006 14:44 (twenty years ago)

You should write to Jon Ronson. He's nice.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 16 February 2006 14:46 (twenty years ago)

I have only ever written to a published author once. I was living in Melbourne at the time, and had borrowed a library book written by a Hong Kong Chinese woman which was the story of her life growing up in HK after the war. The jacket notes said that she was now living in Melbourne, so I looked her up in the phone book, got her address, and dropped her a line to say how interesting I had found her story.

She was about 80 years old, and an absolutely amazing woman. She wrote back and invited me to dinner at a wonderful Chinese restaurant.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 16 February 2006 14:50 (twenty years ago)

where did adams plagarize lem?

― kyle (akmonday), Thursday, 16 February 2006 14:51 (twenty years ago)

Haha I had a friend who for years held a grudge against Judy Blume for not replying to a letter he wrote when he was a child and then when he moved out of his parental home a couple of years ago, found the letter in between two books.

― James Ward (jamesmichaelward), Thursday, 16 February 2006 14:52 (twenty years ago)

How did Judy Blume get the letter into there?

― VY, Thursday, 16 February 2006 14:55 (twenty years ago)

She knows God.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 16 February 2006 14:56 (twenty years ago)

She used mind control.

― James Ward (jamesmichaelward), Thursday, 16 February 2006 14:57 (twenty years ago)

That's a lot more than most writers get when they submit work! You're lucky he didn't send you a half-sized unpersonalized piece of paper acknowledging your letter.

― mike h. (mike h.), Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:01 (twenty years ago)

Lem wrote a comic sci-fi short story in the late 60s in which the main
characters built improbability enhancers in order to study dragons.
It's in The Cyberiad.

― shieldforyoureyes, Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:02 (twenty years ago)

Haha not plagiarism then, just highly improbable!

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:05 (twenty years ago)

Now I want to know who you are talking about!

― clodia pulchra (emo by proxy), Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:06 (twenty years ago)

So who was this gruff writer anyhow? Maybe you should have sent him back a snotty review of his letter.

― NickB (NickB), Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:07 (twenty years ago)

I wrote to Stephen Fry which was quite critical and got a very nice letter back (printed out via one of the UKs first Macs I like to think) and signed Stephen which I'm pretty sure I didn't deserve. Lovely fellow.

― Ned T., Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:07 (twenty years ago)

I don't want to say who it was ...Maybe I should write back to him with a link to this thread so he can reveal his identity for himself!

― James Ghost, Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:11 (twenty years ago)

If the start of your letter was all about how great you think he is, then he probably skimmed it and said, Oh yay, another adoring fan.. and wrote back cheers as a thanks. And he probably skipped over the part where you ask for advice or discounted it as a secondary point.

or maybe that's all wrong, I don't know what he's thinking.

― Dave will do (dave225.3), Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:12 (twenty years ago)

yes send him!

― clodia pulchra (emo by proxy), Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:15 (twenty years ago)

i remember writing a letter to dylan nyoukis of decaer pinga and got a really friendly email back! he asked me to send a tape of me reading something so he could use it as a sample for his next project. i wuv him! :-)

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:20 (twenty years ago)

Cheers man is all right, I think.

Is he some kind of stoner author?

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:21 (twenty years ago)

That's it, I think we need to get the author on here to settle this thing.

I kind of like "cheer man" better. Sounds like it could be a collection of poems: THE CHEER MAN

Seriously though, I don't know why people write to someone they don't know and expect anything back. Seems a little imposing to me.

― TRG (TRG), Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:28 (twenty years ago)

This thread is really bizarre to me. You're mad because he thanked you for sending him a letter?

― Dan (Entitlement Issues) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:31 (twenty years ago)

"Cheers man" doesn't sound too bad to me now, either. The problem perhaps (and it's mine) is that the phrase leaves too much room for projecting negativity: could be the "gruffness" of it was more a reflection of my own state of mind. I've recently been made redundant and whilst I wasn't hoping for an invite to a Chinese restaurant, I would have preferred a less enigmatic acknowledgement of my letter and the query therein, or even for my letter to rot on the slush pile.
x-post

― James Ghost, Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:31 (twenty years ago)

No, I'm not mad at the writer.

― James Ghost, Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:32 (twenty years ago)

Ah, that makes things much clearer!

I don't think you should be too upset about the letter.

― Dan (Smile And The World Smiles With You) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:33 (twenty years ago)

Cheers man.

― James Ghost, Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:34 (twenty years ago)

Do you really want to teach poetry?

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:36 (twenty years ago)

i'd be mad if it was actually

[sarcasm] cheers man [/sarcasm]

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:41 (twenty years ago)

was it an email btw? or a letter? if it's a letter that would be a bit rude. it's like receiving a cheque for £0.01

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:42 (twenty years ago)

maybe it's kind of a "you want to teach poetry? good luck with that!" sort of response

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:43 (twenty years ago)

http://images-partners.google.com/images?q=tbn:nfoyDaetybzC5M:www.bostonbrace.com/images/marvin%2520martian.GIF
No, I'm not mad just terribly, terribly hurt.

― Dave will do (dave225.3), Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:44 (twenty years ago)

maybe it was a short poem.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:45 (twenty years ago)

Not exactly the stuff that Rilke's Letters to a Young Poet was made of though, is it?

― NickB (NickB), Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:47 (twenty years ago)

http://www.beeractivist.com/Assets/BA7/bartender.jpg

― Woo Dee, Thursday, 16 February 2006 15:51 (twenty years ago)

Mr Ghost, that was not gruff; that was curt. World of difference.

― Aimless (Aimless), Thursday, 16 February 2006 17:17 (twenty years ago)

is anyone on ILX famous enough to have received shite unsolicited mail from their fans?

― DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 16 February 2006 17:43 (twenty years ago)

Aha. So it was YOU, DV.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 16 February 2006 17:43 (twenty years ago)

You don't have to be famous. I've had weird fan mail and I'm hardly famous.

― Boris and the Johnsons (kate), Thursday, 16 February 2006 17:45 (twenty years ago)

I got stalker graffiti love poems. Ugh. (I'm not famous at all)

― Zora (Zora), Thursday, 16 February 2006 18:43 (twenty years ago)

You don't need fame if you have breasts.

― Aimless (Aimless), Thursday, 16 February 2006 18:45 (twenty years ago)

I wrote to Dan Fante. He was cool and his reply read like one of his books.

― Too Gay for America (nordicskilla), Thursday, 16 February 2006 19:13 (twenty years ago)

My dad wrote to a famous writer once and they became good friends/fishing buddies. I suspect he's written to many others and they ignored him. He is a resilient optimist.

― Thea (Thea), Thursday, 16 February 2006 19:50 (twenty years ago)

I hope that didn't sound snotty and braggy. I myself would never have to stomach to try and contact someone that way like, but I guess my point was that if you can take rejection, there's no reason not to try and connect with someone like that. they can alway just say "cheers man". Otherwise, I agree with Archel.

― Thea (Thea), Thursday, 16 February 2006 19:59 (twenty years ago)

i e-mailed nyt columnist john tierney and received a nice response.

― dan (dan), Thursday, 16 February 2006 20:03 (twenty years ago)

maybe this thread will cheer you up, mr.ghost:

Tales of horror: coming face-to-face with authors

― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 16 February 2006 20:15 (twenty years ago)

I received hate mail from Ted Lange (Isaac the Bartender from "The Love Boat") where he called me a "honky." I'm not making this up.

― ng-unit, Thursday, 16 February 2006 20:59 (twenty years ago)

I wrote to George Monbiot pointing out an error and then he devoted a column to rubbishing what I'd said. Seriously! He didn't use my name, but rather the environmental proposals I'd directed him to. I sent the column to my sources and they said he was clueless and full of shit.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 16 February 2006 21:04 (twenty years ago)

I did get a courteous and grateful email from him, shortly before the column appeared, but I'd rather he was gruff and right, than nice and wrong, or at least alerted me to what he planned to do.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 16 February 2006 21:05 (twenty years ago)

I wrote a letter to JT Leroy and he called me and we talked 'til the wee hours of the night about his AIDS treatments, and now I'm organizing a benefit reading of his work to be performed by Philip Seymour Hoffman, Scarlett Johannson, and the cast of television's "Grey's Anatomy."

― T/S: Pinks/Oki Dog/Scoobys/Tail o' the Pup (Bent Over at the Arclight), Thursday, 16 February 2006 22:51 (twenty years ago)

I wrote to Wendy O Williams
and got a graphic reply

― Thea (Thea), Friday, 17 February 2006 00:46 (twenty years ago)

yeah wrong thread

― Thea (Thea), Friday, 17 February 2006 00:46 (twenty years ago)

Mr Ghost, that was not gruff; that was curt. World of difference.

I don't even think it was curt. It was laconic.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Friday, 17 February 2006 00:50 (twenty years ago)

I wrote to David Foster Wallace and he also said "Cheers Man"1

-----------------
1 "Cheers," but not the aforementioned sitcom cataloging the sexual tension betweenalcoholic former baseball star Sam Malone and Shelly Long's uptight Diane, but rather the worldwide salutation, meaning, in short, "thanks." "Man" as in Webster's 11th definition: "Informal. Used as a familiar form of address for a man: See here, my good man!"

― T/S: Pinks/Oki Dog/Scoobys/Tail o' the Pup (Bent Over at the Arclight), Friday, 17 February 2006 01:32 (twenty years ago)

I wrote to Ben Marcus and he wrote back saying "My head is a function-balloon of whale-teeth, and you have lasered anew my distaste for Speech-Earth (tm) and paper water."

― T/S: Pinks/Oki Dog/Scoobys/Tail o' the Pup (Bent Over at the Arclight), Friday, 17 February 2006 01:34 (twenty years ago)

I think "cheer man" was meant to mean " Take heart man, all you need is love ! You can do it! "

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Friday, 17 February 2006 05:39 (twenty years ago)

That Ben Marcus thing is hilarious.

― Redd Harvest (Ken L), Friday, 17 February 2006 05:49 (twenty years ago)

i would have liked it better had he responded in jamaican patois

― amateurist0, Friday, 17 February 2006 07:42 (twenty years ago)

I wrote to Miranda Sawyer (uk write/journalist/talking head) and she sent me a postcard from California. Which means she actually took note of my address and took it with her on her travels. Now that's what I call nice.

― Ned T.Rifle (nedtrifle), Friday, 17 February 2006 08:52 (twenty years ago)

I really did write to Ben Marcus, asking him his opinion on Borges and Nicholson Baker (for an A-Level essay comparing The Age of Wire & String with The Mezzanine). He sent back a very nice reply. Lovely man.

― emil.y (emil.y), Friday, 17 February 2006 15:20 (twenty years ago)

I've written to only two writers in my life -- Beverly Cleary (I was a huge fan of her "Ramona" books when I first started reading) and Joan Didion, about ten years ago after I moved to Los Angeles and first fell in love with "Play It As It Lays" and "The White Album." Both of them wrote me back -- handwritten letters on personal stationary -- and were wonderfully supportive and thankful of the thought I'd put in the letters.

Oh, and I did write an email to Michael Chabon once, asking him if he was willing to take on a protege (he wasn't) -- but he wrote back a thoughtful reply as well.

I was probably very lucky -- but, as writers, I also sense they have a gut feeling as to how much effort and work you put into correspondence with them. Perhaps you were too cursory in your request and it seemed more to the writer as if you were asking him to put more work into dispensing advice -- and perhaps he's got an asshole.

― Matthew Keller, Monday, 20 February 2006 08:54 (twenty years ago)

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