Gay Sex

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Hi, I decided I want to try gay sex. How do I know if a guy is homosexual? Do I go up behind him and pull down his pants or do I bend over? What if his bum is unwiped? Do you need to have a poo right after having gay sex?

― Itchy Anus, Monday, 20 February 2006 15:27 (nineteen years ago)

If he doesn't refuse your offer to share your sleeping bag in a pup tent, you're definitely getting some. Be sure he spit-lubes too.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Monday, 20 February 2006 15:30 (nineteen years ago)

I hear amazon.com is offering free gay sex for every purchase over $50.00.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Monday, 20 February 2006 16:13 (nineteen years ago)

How do I know if a guy is homosexual?

Cha-cha heels.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Monday, 20 February 2006 16:13 (nineteen years ago)

Gay sex is totally awesome, Itchy Anus! Now, to answer your questions:

How do I know if a guy is homosexual?

Easy. Does he lisp, have a prancing gait, wear colourful, flamboyant clothes and listen to Judy Garland records. If so, then he is a homosexual!

Do I go up behind him and pull down his pants or do I bend over?
Both methods sound good to me, Itchy Anus!

What if his bum is unwiped?
Politely suggest a hot, soapy shower together before performing the homosexual act.

Do you need to have a poo right after having gay sex?
No, you don't need to have a poo right after gay sex, Itchy Anus! Although each to his own and all that.

Glad to have been of service, and good luck with the gay sex!

― Oscar Tame, Monday, 20 February 2006 16:23 (nineteen years ago)

You are Momus and I claim my five cents.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Monday, 20 February 2006 16:25 (nineteen years ago)

surely unwiped poo offers extra lubrication from poo

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 20 February 2006 16:36 (nineteen years ago)

poo before sex, always the best

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 20 February 2006 16:38 (nineteen years ago)

sex before poo, who's the fool?

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 20 February 2006 16:39 (nineteen years ago)

I hear amazon.com is offering free gay sex for every purchase over $50.00.

Does that include shipping?

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Monday, 20 February 2006 16:44 (nineteen years ago)

it includes shitting

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 20 February 2006 16:47 (nineteen years ago)

Hmm, nice.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Monday, 20 February 2006 16:59 (nineteen years ago)

Ken C OTM

Poo before bumming to clean out your plumbing.

― melton mowbray (adr), Monday, 20 February 2006 17:03 (nineteen years ago)

Drop a load to make room for choad.

― JimD (JimD), Monday, 20 February 2006 17:17 (nineteen years ago)

Do number twos before you cruise.

― oscar tame, Monday, 20 February 2006 17:26 (nineteen years ago)

Clear the socket to make way for the rocket.

― oscar tame, Monday, 20 February 2006 17:29 (nineteen years ago)

clear out your bowels before he hammers the dowels

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 20 February 2006 17:33 (nineteen years ago)

Scrub the tub before you rub.

― oscar tame, Monday, 20 February 2006 17:33 (nineteen years ago)

an anus that is frilly is more fun for the willy

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 20 February 2006 17:39 (nineteen years ago)

Lose the dirt then lift the shirt

― stu (stu), Monday, 20 February 2006 21:02 (nineteen years ago)

Clean out the hose before you accommodate your bro's.

― pixel farmer (Rock Hardy), Monday, 20 February 2006 21:40 (nineteen years ago)

A soapy immersion before the insertion.

― stu (stu), Monday, 20 February 2006 21:50 (nineteen years ago)

didnt martin lawrence get banned from nbc for something like this?

― phil-two (phil-two), Monday, 20 February 2006 22:00 (nineteen years ago)

Drop the bears in the pool, make way for the tool.

― stu (stu), Monday, 20 February 2006 22:20 (nineteen years ago)

dump b 4 u pump

― Kinky Boots (Drew Daniel), Monday, 20 February 2006 22:31 (nineteen years ago)

If you're going brown, flush one down.

― melton mowbray (adr), Monday, 20 February 2006 23:15 (nineteen years ago)

gotta dust down your chimney, before you let him rim ye

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 20 February 2006 23:22 (nineteen years ago)

This thread is both the best and worst thing ever.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Monday, 20 February 2006 23:22 (nineteen years ago)

if it's yellow, let it mellow

― Abbott (Abbott), Monday, 20 February 2006 23:36 (nineteen years ago)

Clean your pipe of tobacco before beating it like Jacko.

― melton mowbray (adr), Monday, 20 February 2006 23:55 (nineteen years ago)

squeeze one out before you twist and shout

― w3rd (Drew Daniel), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 01:13 (nineteen years ago)

omg

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 21 February 2006 01:16 (nineteen years ago)

Irrigate your colons guys, before you get them sodomized.

― JimD (JimD), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 02:40 (nineteen years ago)

clean your brown eye to make room for the next guy

― latebloomer: Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K. (latebloomer), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 03:31 (nineteen years ago)

Use a toilet, else you'll spoil it.

― melton mowbray (adr), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 03:46 (nineteen years ago)

take a greasy shit b4 you hit it.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 04:04 (nineteen years ago)

LYSOL DOUCHE!

― Anonymous Coward, Tuesday, 21 February 2006 04:15 (nineteen years ago)

clean your ass before i fuck it

― chaki (chaki), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 05:54 (nineteen years ago)

get the dirt unstuck before we fuck

― latebloomer: Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K. (latebloomer), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 08:09 (nineteen years ago)

No-one likes the chocky when they're bottom jockey.

― stu (stu), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 08:52 (nineteen years ago)

Boys who go the back way say to clear the Hershey highway.

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 10:35 (nineteen years ago)

Get your rectum clear before taking it in the rear.

― Oscar Tame, Tuesday, 21 February 2006 10:57 (nineteen years ago)

Enema action before friendly fire.

― Oscar Tame, Tuesday, 21 February 2006 11:01 (nineteen years ago)

If you clean yr derrier the sex will be much merrier

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 11:01 (nineteen years ago)

Be a chum, and offer a clean bum.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 11:07 (nineteen years ago)

Clear the back passage before welcoming the sausage.

― Oscar Tame, Tuesday, 21 February 2006 11:20 (nineteen years ago)

brown up your behind before he starts the grind

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 11:30 (nineteen years ago)

Pre-coital ablution is the rectal solution.

― Oscar Tame, Tuesday, 21 February 2006 11:38 (nineteen years ago)

Anal purgation before penetration.

― Oscar Tame, Tuesday, 21 February 2006 11:44 (nineteen years ago)

When in doubt, flush it out, ere all that foreplay comes to nought.

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 11:45 (nineteen years ago)

Skipping 12 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Clean out your system before you start fistin'

― stu (stu), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 18:49 (nineteen years ago)

Invoke cack, stroke crack, Brokeback.

― melton mowbray (adr), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 19:32 (nineteen years ago)

three weeks pass...

o m g

― dr lulu (dr lulu), Sunday, 19 March 2006 20:33 (nineteen years ago)

clean yer ass out quick before you stick it w/ the diznick.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 20 March 2006 01:10 (nineteen years ago)

Before the bum fun make sure you've done one.

― She's been known to sleep on piles of dry leaves... (papa november), Monday, 20 March 2006 01:24 (nineteen years ago)

Lay a cable to show you're able.

― She's been known to sleep on piles of dry leaves... (papa november), Monday, 20 March 2006 01:25 (nineteen years ago)

before you mate, evacuate

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 20 March 2006 01:31 (nineteen years ago)

drop the log before you snog.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 20 March 2006 01:33 (nineteen years ago)

clean the caboose before you get loose.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 20 March 2006 01:34 (nineteen years ago)

Drop some bombs before he gives you his schlong

― She's been known to sleep on piles of dry leaves... (papa november), Monday, 20 March 2006 01:36 (nineteen years ago)

Deploy the troops before he puts it in your chute.

― She's been known to sleep on piles of dry leaves... (papa november), Monday, 20 March 2006 01:37 (nineteen years ago)

clean the flue before you screw

― stockholm cindy is a guy with a belly button piercing (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 20 March 2006 01:41 (nineteen years ago)

if you gots da runs, there needn't be any astroglide in yer buns.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 20 March 2006 01:50 (nineteen years ago)

drop the kids off at the pool, before you get someone to poke your stool.

― Frogm@n Henry, Monday, 20 March 2006 01:54 (nineteen years ago)

Get the mash out of the hangar to make way for the banger

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Monday, 20 March 2006 05:50 (nineteen years ago)

Have sex quick and get shit on his dick.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 20 March 2006 06:25 (nineteen years ago)

Clear out the chunnel before you ride his funnel.

― A. Lingbert (A. Lingbert), Monday, 20 March 2006 07:36 (nineteen years ago)

An empty butt makes for a jolly good nut.

― A. Lingbert (A. Lingbert), Monday, 20 March 2006 07:37 (nineteen years ago)

Douche your colon before he gets his balls rollin'

― A. Lingbert (A. Lingbert), Monday, 20 March 2006 07:41 (nineteen years ago)

A bit of brown's expected when ass and dick's connected.

― whiskeytangofoxtrot (unclejessjess), Monday, 20 March 2006 08:18 (nineteen years ago)

A diet high in fiber helps one move beyond cyber

― whiskeytangofoxtrot (unclejessjess), Monday, 20 March 2006 08:22 (nineteen years ago)

Clear your bowels in advance, if he's getting in your pants.

― whiskeytangofoxtrot (unclejessjess), Monday, 20 March 2006 08:27 (nineteen years ago)

Make a chocolate deposit and come out of the closet.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 20 March 2006 08:30 (nineteen years ago)

Lose the feces and he'll fuck you to pieces.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 20 March 2006 08:37 (nineteen years ago)

if it doesn't fit, you must emit.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Monday, 20 March 2006 08:49 (nineteen years ago)

Before a fuck in the ass, a 24 hour fast.

― whiskeytangofoxtrot (unclejessjess), Monday, 20 March 2006 09:17 (nineteen years ago)

Before you ride it bareback, eat some nu-lax

― She's been known to sleep on piles of dry leaves... (papa november), Monday, 20 March 2006 09:29 (nineteen years ago)

Polish up your sphincter if you're wanting him to rim yer.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Monday, 20 March 2006 10:03 (nineteen years ago)

Rectal exertion before the insertion.

― edward o (edwardo), Monday, 20 March 2006 10:06 (nineteen years ago)

make it pristine before painting the Sistine

― Queen Gonna Put My Third Leg In, Monday, 20 March 2006 15:44 (nineteen years ago)

holy god

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/m4m/142978334.html

― R.I.P. Concrete Octopus ]-`: is a guy with a belly button piercing (ex machina), Monday, 20 March 2006 16:50 (nineteen years ago)

holy shit

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 20 March 2006 16:59 (nineteen years ago)

exactly!

― R.I.P. Concrete Octopus ]-`: is a guy with a belly button piercing (ex machina), Monday, 20 March 2006 17:06 (nineteen years ago)

dispose of your dinner, before you accept his weiner

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 20 March 2006 17:09 (nineteen years ago)

before exposing your back, dispose of your cack

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 20 March 2006 17:17 (nineteen years ago)

eject your rectum before he injects the cum

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 20 March 2006 17:24 (nineteen years ago)

eject poo, insert goo

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 20 March 2006 17:25 (nineteen years ago)

make sure you do a jobbie before you do it doggy

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 20 March 2006 17:26 (nineteen years ago)

Rectal expectoration before anal investigation.

― Markelby's very own bum chum, Monday, 20 March 2006 17:27 (nineteen years ago)

Slop out the sludge before he packs your fudge.

― Markelby's very own bum chum, Monday, 20 March 2006 17:38 (nineteen years ago)

Don't risk santorum, practice anal decorum.

― elmo, holy helper (allocryptic), Monday, 20 March 2006 18:33 (nineteen years ago)

Sorry I revived this you sicko fuckos.
Heh heh.

― dr lulu (dr lulu), Monday, 20 March 2006 19:51 (nineteen years ago)

Is your arse clean of shite? Then there's fucking all night!

― mike t-diva (mike t-diva), Tuesday, 28 March 2006 23:16 (nineteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

Remove the stool before he inserts his tool.

― bumming, we're bumming, hope you like bumming too, Friday, 14 April 2006 09:24 (nineteen years ago)

Get rid of the muck before you fuck.

― bumming, we're bumming, hope you like bumming too, Friday, 14 April 2006 09:28 (nineteen years ago)

Make sure your anus is spick and span before the wham, bam and thank you ma'am.

― bumming, we're bumming, hope you like bumming too, Friday, 14 April 2006 09:34 (nineteen years ago)

Clean your tube before he breaks out the lube.

― bumming, we're bumming, hope you like bumming too, Friday, 14 April 2006 09:39 (nineteen years ago)

Before anal massage, clear out the back passage.

― bumming, we're bumming, hope you like bumming too, Friday, 14 April 2006 09:43 (nineteen years ago)

Drain out your watering hole before inviting a sausagey pole.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Friday, 14 April 2006 17:22 (nineteen years ago)

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