Man Beaten by Roommate after argument over lack of TP

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Holy Shit. Like, holy shit.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/02/21/toilet.paper.ap/index.html

"Matthews was beaten so badly he had to be identified through his fingerprints, detectives said."

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 20:33 (twenty years ago)

now that's a logistical beatdown

― j blount (papa la bas), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 20:37 (twenty years ago)

(Watch how an 11-year-old helped get the confession -- 1:30)

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 20:37 (twenty years ago)

Another one for Ugly people more likely to be criminals!

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 20:37 (twenty years ago)

some old dude shot his grandson dead cuz his grandson came home with a hamburger and didn't get granpa any.

― j blount (papa la bas), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 20:38 (twenty years ago)

This sort of thing happened all the time on Homicide.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 20:39 (twenty years ago)

"Fan mail from a flounder."

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 20:40 (twenty years ago)

― tehresa (tehresa), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 20:41 (twenty years ago)

― tehresa (tehresa), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 20:44 (twenty years ago)

http://www.kleecker.com/assets/images/db_images/db_beavis_cornholio1.gif

― phil d. (Phil D.), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 20:48 (twenty years ago)

This is what happens when you let 60 year olds be roommates like they're in fucking college still.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 20:51 (twenty years ago)

Watch how an 11-year-old helped get the confession -- 1:30

http://scoopsnoodle.com/tpm2.jpg
http://scoopsnoodle.com/tpm1.jpg

― jhoshea (scoopsnoodle), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 21:01 (twenty years ago)

SHUT UP, LITTLE MAN!

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 21:02 (twenty years ago)

http://members.aol.com/leesausage/Images/Home.gif

XPOST DAMMIT

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 21:03 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, Ally...60 year old college students with rifles.

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 21:11 (twenty years ago)

You'd agree it's a bad situation, correct? 60 year olds should either live with their wives, or in nursing homes!

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 21:11 (twenty years ago)

uh 60's a little young for a nursing home

― Shakey Mo Pedant (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 21:12 (twenty years ago)

but not too young for euthanasia.

― Special Agent Gene Krupa (orion), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 21:14 (twenty years ago)

I LIKE THE KID'S "ROCK" HALFSHIRT

― team jaxon (jaxon), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 21:17 (twenty years ago)

You're telling me that people who find it acceptable to sledgehammer dudes over a tp beef shouldn't be in a 24/7 mental care facility? For shame, Shakey Mo.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 21:27 (twenty years ago)

Wives, caretaking children or assisted living.

And "Over a tp beef" is classicness. Well turned, Ally.

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 21:29 (twenty years ago)

yes I firmly believe that all dangerously violent criminals should be free to roam the streets, attacking the helpless and less fortunate as they see fit.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 21:30 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, we can tell. You probably like the terrorists too! And that 11 year old!

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 21:31 (twenty years ago)

also adorable 11-year-old terrorists

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 21:33 (twenty years ago)

did anyone watch the video? the cop clearly found the whole thing to be terribly funny.

― jhoshea (scoopsnoodle), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 21:33 (twenty years ago)

yeah well, cops are like that.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 21:37 (twenty years ago)

Well, I mean he's not necessarily wrong.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 21:38 (twenty years ago)

that too.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 21:39 (twenty years ago)

the really funny thing is watching the cop realize in the middle of the interview that he should probably adopt a more somber tone.

― jhoshea (scoopsnoodle), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 21:44 (twenty years ago)

Say what you will, but that's a good head of hair for a 56-year-old.

― Stephen X (Stephen X), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 21:51 (twenty years ago)

one semester in college i shared a house with 5 women (including my girlfriend). it was the closest i've come to living in a sitcom. we all bought our own food, but once a week we'd do a shared shopping for household essentials, of which toilet paper was item #1. after a few weeks, one of the women -- a tiny, quiet-but-fierce barry manilow fan prone to epic telephone arguments in spanish with her boyfriend -- decided we were using too much toilet paper. she suggested that she be designated keeper of the t.p., and each roommate could come to her as needed for their ration before going to the bathroom.

the motion failed on a 5-1 vote. petition for appeal was denied.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 22:05 (twenty years ago)

"My people have no bungholes!"

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 22:07 (twenty years ago)

The "Rock" t-shirt was originally worn by the defendant, who placed it over his head and called himself Cornholio.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 22:26 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.