The Apprentice (UK) 2006 Thread: You're Fired! [MOD WARNING: now includes probably fake spoiler]

think it might be a sotry i tell in bars when i'm old and lonely

secondhandnews, judging by what's happened in the past if you're a normal person and not a megalomaniac freak you wouldn't have got past the interview stage, so you've probably saved yourself some time not going. Unless you're a megalomaniac freak in which case you've missed the job opportunity of your life.

Apparently Tim, the winner (and the only even vaguely sensible one) from last time got given a project to do when he went to work for AS about a machine that rejuvenates skin or something? Prestigious reward indeed!

Paul: I'm Roman Catholic, and I swear to you on my mother's grave....
AS: (cutting him off) I'm Jewish, mate, I don't give a shit.

ha ha ha

xpost

ha ha I forgot about those communication cards! What did they call them? Wasn't that the episode where the guys made a smashable robot thing that the toy company said they would actually manufacture if they modified it a bit, and the women were like "yeah, these are flashcards...err...they're really fun...honest..."

I agree - it was the entertainment value of someone who was pathologically incapable of admitting that they're wrong. Plus his amazing plastic Ken-doll hair.

For ages I thought James was going to win and take over Amstrad, and make them sell top flight champagne and truffle oil. Which would be a great improvement on crappy electrical merchandise, it has to be said.

xxxxx-post i hadn't really got the megolomanic streek my approach was a charactature of one, when i realised quite how absurb an idea that was was when i bottled

Is AS really "worth £700 million"? I thought he was a flop at everything. Or is that Clive Sinclair? I wish it was him instead.

I appear to know way too much about the Apprentice.

xpost it always surprises me that AS has so much money, since a lot of Amstrad stuff is renowned for being crap - he probably sells a load of stuff I don't know about though.

If Sinclair did it he'd make them all drive around in his little cars and they'd always be late to meet him cos their batteries would be flat.

Did anybody read the terms and conditions and take the machine immediately back to Woolworths for a full refund?

One of the ladies looks like (the female) half of the motivational speeches team from The Office.

I'm totally in love with one boy already. The one who said 'shame' when they were disussing the women's strategies.

Are you?

I've got a name

What is it?

The A-Team.

Bars? Sotry? Typo of the year

- the bloke dom mentions above needs to get better specs. the ones he wears right now make him look like he has removable eyes.

- syed is the knob-end's knob-end; the chopper's chopper. he has to win, purely for comedy value.

- jo is unbearable. and mad. and started to cry while trying to make a point about strong businesswomen, which was a little unfortunate. she has to win, etc.

- was it just me, or when AS told the ladies' team: "so, tell me why you deserve to win", shouldn't they have said: "because we made something like double the profit the boys did, no matter how unorthodox our methods of acquiring rotting vegetables might have been?"

- the fact the secretary uses an amstrad e-mailer was, i'm sure, pointed out last year. but lol all the same.

syed is like everyone says

the way the 3 nominees turned on each other didnt make any of them look good

the guy selling apples at £5 a go at the end was interesting

why would anyone want to spend more than one second of their life in a boardroom

people in I.T are like this

i must leave I.T

But oh no, they all have to go for some one-word signifier of BUSINESS ACUMEN AND DYNAMISM - "Invicta", "Velocity", I ask you ...

Why not something like "Long-Term Sickie", or "Revanche"?

Tell us about the emailer terms and conditions!

ha!

the question that needs to be asked here - and i'm sure it was asked last year too, but hey - is: if syed is such a hot-shot "entrepreneur" with his recruitment business, and karen is such a magnificent lawyer, and jo has bounced back from redundancy with her own consultancy or whatever, why do they all want to work for fucking amstrad?

i do like seeing alpha personalities act like idiots and come a cropper.

carl cox lookalike to win!

No fucking way!

*giggles*

"You're a cruiserweight, you're fired"

Michelle's saying it's bollocks, basically.

you mean 110%

I fucking hate the way Michelle speaks. Some bastard hybrid of the dregs of Hull, that disgusting backpacker 'pitch-of-my-voice-goes-up-at-the-end-of-statements-making-them-into-'comfort me'-style-questions' and every so often slipping into a five year old girl's impression of how posh people talk.

So the final was filmed recently, long after all the other tasks took place? Odd how this wasn't mentioned in the show. They tried to pass it off as the decision being in the same time frame as all the tasks. Why bother filming it so far in advance anyway? It couldn't be that difficult to have the tasks a couple of days before putting them on TV and show the final properly live. Very confused by the way they've done all this.

If the decison was oh so difficult for Alan, as he claimed then why doesn't he hire both? They both have different strengths so it makes sense to hire both. Or am I missing the point of 'IT ALL RESTS ON ALAN'S FINAL DECISION, ONE PERSON HAS EVERYTHING, THE OTHER NOTHING...' Still, seems like shitty business practice to ditch a top-quality employee because TV dictates he should.

Anyway, great series. Didn't watch it last year but this is my new number reality TV show of ever.

has anyone else heard this rumour? it strikes me as utterly daft. but apparently erstwhile apprentices are on the record somewhere saying it's so.

GF, I heard that rumour on Digital Spy. I also heard they've both been working there for a while, and that Ruth is being kept on too.

I really wished, when Michelle was told "you're hired" that she turned the job down on the grounds that she's a successful career woman and on reflection doesn't need to go and work for anyone else.

SAS: "Michelle, you're hired"
Michelle: "Nah, you're alright thanks, I think I'll stay where I am"
Badger: !!!!! *claps happily to self, bounces up and down in seat*
SAS: "Fiona, get me Ansell on line 2...Ansell, you're hired!"
Badger: *explodes in a purple-faced fit*

Syed, on the other hand, has already signed up to host a daytime TV show.

Sugar is a tit.

maybe a show where people invent things using everyday objects in order to get out of scrapes / help others. he could call it 'The A Team'.

I also agree with Koogs.

michelle: "i think you should buy that company there for several million, sir alan. i've got a gut feeling."

talking of which: did anyone notice that, despite michelle getting roundly abused for talking about "gut feelings", sugar used his own gut feeling as one of his criteria for hiring her?

i wanna see it! :P

paul torrisi, i think, is doing a TV show about property with some other woman. but i didn't know Syed was doing a show too. :-)

I urge you to click this.

"A bad week for:
Alan Sugar

We were all delighted to discover that Michelle Dewberry, the winner of the Apprentice TV show, is pregnant by fellow contestant Syed Ahmed. Sir Alan, however, might not be best pleased to find his new employee off on maternity leave."

Cock!

I am so behind the times, it's embarrassing.

ooh! you.

a) it's on later, starting at 20 to midnight some nights. used to be a bbc2 highlight, but this makes it seem like the red-headed stepchild (with apologies to red-headed stepchildren everywhere)

b) there seems to be less actual task in it, like they've re-focused it on the boardroom bitching and the game show aspects of it (the new series of Beauty And The Geek does the same)

and it's still old Trumpy Boy. i thought martha took over for one series?

Trump may have been researching Combover Technology (ooh, the science bit!) at the time.

I also like the icy blonde Trump-assistant with the hair helmut. Trump is rubbish compared to Siralan though

Michelle Dewberry Limited, you reckon?

anyway, trumpy announced that the new series would be with Martha so i guess we're further behind thatn i thought we were. (kinda hinted at by the New York Olympics 2012 bid task)

> I love the US Apprentice as it is chock full of pointless bitchy reaction shots

with accompanying bum notes in the background music.

- fucking hell, it's that irritating bloody woman [a not uncommon thought in my office; in the interests of balance i should point out that "fucking hell, it's that irritating bloody bloke" is equally common, if not more so]

- hang on, she doesn't work here. where do i know her from?

- OH CHRIST, IT'S HER OFF THE APPRENTICE! QUICK, RUN BEFORE SHE SEES ME!

- hang on, you dick, it's not like she's going to recognise you.

perhaps she'll be our new MD. i mean, compared to what we've got now [rest of post deleted by the small lawyer that lives in grimly's brane].