Suggest to me a job where I can sit about and do my own thing most of the day...

Anyhow, Godders and SM, you two should both quit and sign up for a temping agency and we'll arse about in some plush office in town for DOUBLE $$$ and half the workload. Howsaboutit?

And do you either of you two know where Nick is working now and which temping agency he used? He seems to be loving it so I want somewhere like that.

though i had one job in social services that involved taking calls from the offspring of the sick and dying -- still plenty of time for ilx.

aah, brings back memories of those dark days on DWP overpayments. Calls from the furious sons of dead Mancunians who'd been overpaid a week of pension (due to them not dying on their pension payday, the troublesome tykes). Each phone call took a month off my life.

Godwin, ah incap. One glorious day..

tell me more!

The Salford Prison Experiment

A look at Medical Trials in Manchester

We’ve all heard the rumours. A friend of a friend knows a
dodgy doctor who will chop off your big toe then sew it back on,
and give you ten thousand pounds. For five thousand pounds
he’ll stop your heart – but only for a second. For a
million pounds he’ll take your brain out of your head, bounce
it on the floor a few times then volley it back in to your open
skull.

In reality, medical trials are nothing like this. The medical
testing industry is a highly regulated worldwide business. The aim
is to test new drugs to evaluate whether they are effective and
safe for people to use. They have led to various breakthroughs in
medicine in fighting illness, and helped lifestyle drugs such as
Viagra spring forth into bedrooms and old-age rest homes across the
country.

As well as fighting disease and helping grandpa rise to the
occasion, medical trials can be a lucrative source of income for
those brave enough to offer up their time and nervous system for
the advancement of science.

Testing facilities can be found all over the world, with the
majority concentrated in Western Europe. Rates of pay vary, with
hospitals in Switzerland offering the best amount of compensation.
But for those unwilling to take a trip to Scandinavia, there are
over a dozen of clinical trial hospitals in the UK, with three
facilities in Manchester alone.

Renovo, Christies and Medeval all offer a range of trials, and each
can be found just a few minutes from the centre of Manchester. The
compensation varies for each study but total fees can range from
£150 to £3,000. An overnight stay will generally pay £100 each
time, with a fleeting hour-long visit earning around £30.

Before taking a trial you will have to undergo a rigorous vetting
procedure. First, you will be quizzed about your medical history
over the telephone. Your medical records will be requested from
your GP and examined closely. Then you will be called in for a
person-to-person visit, which includes blood and urine tests. These
check various blood levels, and for any sign of HIV and
recreational drug use.

The doctors are looking for a very particular type of person. You
must be aged 18 to 55 years and have a clean medical history. There
is little time for equal opportunities in the world of medical
testing and the vast majority of trials are for men only. It is
believed women’s menstrual cycles will have an effect on the
outcome of trials, so very few are mixed or female-only.

It’s better to be overweight as slim people can be excluded
for having a low Body Mass Index. Smokers are frowned upon,
although people who smoke less than 5 cigarettes per day are
usually acceptable. Even vegetarians are excluded from the majority
of studies.

If the prospect of being cooped up in a hospital with a group of
overweight, meat-eating men wasn’t bad enough, there are more
restrictions during the trial. You are banned from drinking alcohol
and caffeine-based drinks during your stay, and for a number of
days prior to entering the hospital.

Following the initial intake of the drug, which is either injected
or swallowed, the majority of your time in hospital will be spent
traipsing slowly to the bathroom for yet another urine sample, or
lying in bed waiting for blood tests.

For those unlucky enough to be staying overnight in hospital, you
will have a catheter attached to your arm, making it easier for the
nurse to take a sample. This means you’ll soon learn to move
very carefully to avoid bashing it on furniture. Sleep offers
little respite as you’ll often find yourself rudely awakened
in the middle of the night for yet more tests.

Most hospitals have a range of facilities for their patients,
usually offering a range of newspapers and magazines, a TV room and
a pool table. But with cleanliness being a rarity among the
long-term inmates – it’s not easy to shower when
you’re attached to a drip – you might find yourself
wishing you’d brought a facemask.

Stephen Wilson, 30, from Leigh, has volunteered for many medical
trials over the past few years.

“The main thing is that it’s so boring!” says
Stephen. “There are only so many times you can play pool on a
wonky table and watch Men And Motors with a bunch of sweaty old
men.

“The worst one I did was at Medeval. It was 14 days long and
they were testing a new drug for diabetes. I almost went out of my
mind with boredom. It was worth it in the end though, I got two
grand for sitting on my arse all day!”

All potential trials have to be vetted by a research ethics
committee, but this does not mean they are completely safe. In the
1980s two students died as a result of participating in medical
trials, leading to the tightening of guidelines around clinical
testing. All volunteers are now required to sign disclaimers in the
event of anything untoward happening.

But in 1998, Medeval hit the headlines after testing volunteers
with the powerful toxic insecticide dichlorvos, sold as
“Doom”. This reportedly left the patients with
reductions in levels of an important brain enzyme. Participants in
the “Doom” study were paid just £600.

Dr Stephen Toon, managing director of Medeval, said that the
chemical – although a pesticide – had also been used in
the treatment of Alzheimer’s Disease:

“The volunteers were placed at no risk whatsoever. It is
ironic that the research could be used to cure a terrible
disease.”

While most clinical trials test innocuous drugs such as new forms
of insulin and paracetomol, the “Doom” study proves
that medical testing should not be entered into lightly. Then
again, with potential earnings of over £10,000 per year maybe
eating a dangerous pesticide would be more fun than that 9-5 office
job?

I was sure I started a thread about medical trials a few years ago but the search function comes up with nothing. But yes, I wholeheartedly recommend them. The worst thing for me are the injections - my veins aren't near the surface of my skin so it's a case of them jabbing it in and swirling the needle round til they hit that river of blood. Very painful on the inside of your elbow but hey, for £3,000 they can get away with inflicting a lot of pain on me.

:(

It’s better to be overweight as slim people can be excluded
for having a low Body Mass Index

:(

Smokers are frowned upon

:/

xpost for JimD, yeah the GP is vital. They'll not let you through the door unless you have a GP they can get your medical records off. You should do it though, I've enjoyed them each and every time I've done them and they pay is great. Feel free to email me offboard if you've got any more questions.

night watchmen at the last job used to practice bass guitar all night, with the odd break to patrol the building, make sure everything was still where it was meant to be.

What about night desk clerk at a sleepy motel far out in the desert?

(xpost)

stet, you're fucking DEAD :)