my mom is in surgery

(out of curiosity you see, most of my right arm, shoulder included, being metal)

BTW Marcello thanks for the recommendation of the so Solid mix CD - brilliant stuff.

(She also once told me that she always writes a couple of get well soon cards to HERSELF and takes them in her little case, just in case no one else remembers, so her neighbours don't have to sorry for her) (but these last few times this has not been a problem as her get-well card shelf ROOLED the ward)

anyway GET WELL SOON anthony's and tom's mums...

my mum had a mild heart attack y'day :(

think she's fine for the present but horrible being forced to think about parents age and mortality and stuff.

Oh shit, Ronan. I'm sorry. I hope she recovers well!

Really sorry to hear that. I hope she's getting good care.

Hope she recovers quickly, Ronan

all the best Ronan.

sorry, ronan. good luck.

Aw, Ronan. I hope your mom's recovery is quick & without complication.

The major antidote to dismay over one's parents' mortality is to let them know you love them in clear, unmistakeable terms, to thank them for all they have done for you in equally clear terms, and to spend a bit of time with them that you have enough opportunities to engage in this activity. If and when they need your help, as they age and lose vigor, help them gratefully to the extent you can.

Follow this course of action firmly and their mortality will seem less and less unsettling. After all, it is out of your hands, but what you can do, you are doing.

BTW, I subscribe to Abbott's sentiments, too. May she recover quickly and fully.

echoed. i hope she feels well really soon.

Good luck too.

Yeah, hope your mum's OK Ronan. My dad had his first mild heart attack about 20-odd years ago, but it's only this last year when he's been in and out of hospital having various operations to mend various failing bits that I've really started having the "OMG parental mortality" freakouts. It's tough, but don't feel frightened to discuss it with them - I talk to my mum about it a lot because my dad's failing to deal with his impending mortality very well, but it helps my mum to talk to me about my dad. Do you have any brothers or sisters, it was a massive help to talk to my brother and find out he was freaking out the same way I was?

yeah i spoke to my sister and we both sort of felt the same way. it's sad for my mum because she lost a sister last year, her twin has heart problems and had a turn last year on holiday, and her other sister has been battling cancer. the real problem is she has a v weird nerve disease which affects her feet and makes walking and general living v painful, and i'm almost sure it's the stress of this that has brought on the heart probs.

her way of coping is terrible (i don't mean this vindictively, it's obv hard to cope with illness) in that she constantly worries what friends or relatives think of her illness and tries to hide it or avoid talking about it as much as possible.

the implications of this heart prob on her mental state is what worries me, i am fairly sure she is suffering from a big depression that she hides from everyone as much as possible. it's v hard to deal with. i also feel majorly concerned for my dad cos he lacks the skills or maybe qualifications to get through to her on some of this stuff but he tries extremely hard and does all he can to make her happy.

really feel mum needs to go to a counsellor but she's tried before and the whole concept is just alien to her, she's against it from minute one.

(thanks everyone for the thoughts)

really sorry to hear that ronan, hope recovery is swift

^^^^^

best wishes for a speedy recovery for your mom, Ronan.

:D

All the best to you and your mom, Ronan. I hope she has the best possible outcome from all this, maybe finding a someone who has been through similar that she can talk to comfortably. Thinking of you and your family.

thanks guys...just to update things are looking better i think, she is due to go home this evening and she said her tests are all excellent, she'll be on medication but i guess overall is prob a good thing she had this v minor heart attack and now they can monitor her.

Glad to hear she's improved, Ronan. All the best to you both.

Yeah, this is a good thing (as good a good thing as it can be in the circumstances, iykwim). My dad had a scare 25 years ago as I said, and it made him look after himself a bit more, he started on appropriate medication, etc - it was a good 20 years later on before it all started going a bit wrong again, and even now he is better equipped to deal with it because it's something he's been expecting to come back at some stage as he got older (I would expect he's considerably older than your mum, as I'm older than you and my dad was getting on a bit when I was born), and he does know it can be fixed with operations and medications again now that the first lot of dealing with it has been considerably more successful than, well, having a really bad heart attack like what has happened to several other people of his and our acquaintance.

yeah i agree, like better it serves as a warning (and mum is really healthy and active, just prob is a family prob + stress) than like a worse heart attack in years to come.

my mom had a severe stroke last fall. she's recovered ok and seems to be dealing with it well.

it's all a little overwhelming at first, any kind of serious health scare with the parents; and it certainly does realign the way you think of them and your relationship with them. probably what was almost as bad for myself and my sister is when our mom was still in v bad shape and we had to take over her finances. now, i'm worried more about that than another stroke occurring.

glad to hear she is OK - heart attacks are scary!

xxp - otm on being a blessing in disguise if the are minor & happen early enough to be a catalyst for a healthier lifestyle. My dad had a minor stroke a few years ago which essentially served such a purpose.

best wishes and prayers to your mom for a full and speedy recovery, Ronan -- glad to hear the good news that she's doing OK.

love and best wishes to you and your mother, ronan. these things can be very stressful.

my father is having cancer surgery next week. he is very positive, and his general health is excellent, and he has responded really well to the preliminary treatments, but i'll be very, very glad when it's all over.

hope your dad's surgery goes well estela.

mum is really well and seems mentally good. she's gone to spain for 2/3 weeks with my dad now and so reckon that should be nice for her, seems she's not even on meds and no damage to heart so it's all looking really good.

That is good, Ronan. Good luck, estela's dad.