Idiotic frozen pizza ad.

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I hate ads in general, and almost always mute them when they come on tv, but this one has really gotten under my skin for some reason. It's for the best known and most heavily advertised brand of frozen pizza, and features all kinds of inexplicable behavior.

The scene begins with three prototypically clueless middle american duders watching a football game on TV. Only, and this is the inexplicable part, they have apparently carried their easy chairs and widescreen TV out to the front lawn to do so. The wife of one of them walks by, carrying a bag of groceries from the car to the kitchen. The name-brand product's logo peeks out from the top of the bag, which her husband notices as one of his guests suggests they order a pizza. So, rather than politely asking his wife to put the pie in the oven, he uses his cell to call her and pretends to be calling a pizzeria, and he mock-orders a pizza in the extremely rude and abrupt manner that would guarantee him a large deluxe pie with extra phlegm and fecal matter from your typical delivery joint. Despite the fact that he has just spoken to his wife - WIS WIFE - in a manner that would be considered unacceptably prickish if it was directed at a total stranger making minimum wage, she prepares his lunch in a cliched montage in which an unseen narrator describes the sublime glory of the icy discus. Finally, we see the jerk and his doofus friends enjoying their ill-gotten grease wedges, and one of them asks, as per formula, who delivered. The wife steps out, proclaims "I did, boys!" and sprays them with a garden hose.

Questions:

1 - Why did they move the TV and chairs outside to watch the game?
2 - Why act like a shit to his wife when he's asking for a favor?
3 - Why pretend to be talking to a pizza parlor instead of his wife?
4 - Why act like a shit to a guy in a pizza parlor if he's going to be preparing your food?
5 - Why do a favor for someone talking to you like that?
6 - Why can't the guests tell there wasn't a delivery? They're sitting in the front yard!
7 - If the wife is some kind of submissive masochist who gets off on mistreatment (thus explaining the pizza's preparation) why turn the hose on the guys as they eat?
8 - On the other hand, if she's standing up for herself by showing she won't tolerate her husband treating her as a servant, why act like a servant in the first place by following his orders to bring pizza?
9 - Is this ad really any worse than most others out there?
10 - Why am I bothering with this?

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Thursday, 2 March 2006 12:55 (nineteen years ago)

do you like pizza?

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 2 March 2006 12:59 (nineteen years ago)

uh, yeah?

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Thursday, 2 March 2006 12:59 (nineteen years ago)

me too

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 2 March 2006 13:00 (nineteen years ago)

3 and 6: the idea is 'takeaway is commonly perceived to be better than shop-bought'.

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Thursday, 2 March 2006 13:00 (nineteen years ago)

3 maybe - but 6 is bout the guests failing to notice there was no delivery car when they're sitting right next to the driveway.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Thursday, 2 March 2006 13:02 (nineteen years ago)

"she prepares his lunch in a cliched montage in which an unseen narrator describes the sublime glory of the icy discus."

could you expand on this -- how does she 'prepare' it?

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Thursday, 2 March 2006 13:04 (nineteen years ago)

It was really lucky she managed to buy the exact same toppings as his mates wanted.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 2 March 2006 13:05 (nineteen years ago)

I may be misremembering the prep montage, but I think it's just a time lapse shot of the pizza turning from frozen to cooked in the oven, and a close-up of a wheel shaped knife slicing it into wedges.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Thursday, 2 March 2006 13:07 (nineteen years ago)

1 - doesn't matter
2 - he is being "abusive" to "convince" his "pals"?
3 - it's a "joke" and, yeah, to "fool" his "pals" into thinking it was "delivery" pizza, because this "store-bought" pizza is so "good"
4 - maybe he doesn't, when it's "really" a "delivery" place/doesn't matter
5 - she's in on the "joke"
6 - doesn't matter
7 - getting her "own" "back"
8 - it was a "joke"/doesn't matter
9 - "no"
10 - why am I bothering with this?

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 2 March 2006 13:07 (nineteen years ago)

this does sound bad.

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Thursday, 2 March 2006 13:09 (nineteen years ago)

Becaauuuuse... If the wife had answered "Fuck offs! Make it yourself, Cunto", it wouldn't have been a very good advert.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 2 March 2006 13:10 (nineteen years ago)

"doesn't matter"

The only firmly convincing thing said on this thread so far, including the initial post.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Thursday, 2 March 2006 13:10 (nineteen years ago)

"it wouldn't have been a very good advert."

It's already not a very good ad.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Thursday, 2 March 2006 13:10 (nineteen years ago)

does sound rubbish, of course

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 2 March 2006 13:10 (nineteen years ago)

yeh, fair enough from what you describe it couldn't have been too much worse.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 2 March 2006 13:13 (nineteen years ago)

11. why does digiorno's think "who delivered?" is at all a good catchphrase?

― Autonomous University of Zacatecas (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 2 March 2006 13:17 (nineteen years ago)

Becaauuuuse... If the wife had answered "Fuck offs! Make it yourself, Cunto", it wouldn't have been a very good advert.

This is so clearly not true. It would have been the best advert ever.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 2 March 2006 13:19 (nineteen years ago)

If the wife had answered "Fuck offs! Make it yourself, Cunto", it wouldn't have been a very good advert.

i disagree. if any advert for anything at all contained the phrase: "make it yourself, cunto", i'd buy it. even if it was refried spunk in a box.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 2 March 2006 13:20 (nineteen years ago)

(ha, great-minds x-post)

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 2 March 2006 13:21 (nineteen years ago)

When I read the title of this tread, my first question was: Which one? All frozen pizza ads are idiotic! As if frozen pizza weren't bad enough, honestly (esp in comparison to the minorly more difficult but majorly better bakery-bought shell plus cheese etc do-it-yrself version). I know all frozen pizza eaters aren't 15-year-old boys or adults who used to be 15-year-old pizza eaters, so what's going on? Frozen pizza: it's either for teenage boys or romantically-challenged couples, apparently. But I'm glad it's not for me.
(probably the same could be said of lite beer.)

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 2 March 2006 13:56 (nineteen years ago)

Only if the advert was for "Make it yourself Cunto, Pizza"

All you need to make your own pizza at home. Everything but the cunto you're making it for!

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 2 March 2006 14:00 (nineteen years ago)

I haven't eaten a pizza that was frozen for about eight years, but I'd make an exception for Cuntos.

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Thursday, 2 March 2006 14:05 (nineteen years ago)

loving the syntax

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Thursday, 2 March 2006 14:08 (nineteen years ago)

the commercial sounds stupid, but the only thing that doesn't make sense to me is the thing about being outside. maybe it's just someone's idea of quirkiness (or "slice of life", ie some scene some characters on a sitcom would do that's supposed to emulate real life and all its unpredictability - not that I've ever seen anyone take their tv outside). the rest of it just sounds like typical bad ad narrative

― Dominique (dleone), Thursday, 2 March 2006 14:13 (nineteen years ago)

People take their TVs out into the garden in England when it's sunny. You wouldn't want to spend such a nice day stuck indoors watching the box after all.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 2 March 2006 14:21 (nineteen years ago)

well my world is upside down now

― Dominique (dleone), Thursday, 2 March 2006 14:22 (nineteen years ago)

People take their TVs out into the garden in England when it's sunny. You wouldn't want to spend such a nice day stuck indoors watching the box after all.
-- dog latin (doglati...), March 2nd, 2006.

what in the world?

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Thursday, 2 March 2006 14:45 (nineteen years ago)

this is indeed a nice thing to do, provided you have a small portable TV and there's big sport on.

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Thursday, 2 March 2006 14:46 (nineteen years ago)

clearly before she went to get groceries she told her husband he could only have his friends over if he kept them outside because she doesnt want those slobs in her house. he doesnt want to pay for a delivered pizza so he calls his wife to make the one he saw her bring in and speaks to her rudely because she made him sit out in the front yard to watch tv where, no doubt, the sun is making viewing difficult plus a myriad of resentments built up over the years. she makes the pizza because she doesnt want to pay delivery prices + tip to feed his friends either. its bad enough that theyre on the property. his friends are too drunk/high to tell wether a delivery person came or not. she sprays them with the hose a) to get them to leave b) to destroy the tv that brought them there c) shes still seething about having to make them pizza and d)a myriad of other resentments built up over the years.

― sunny successor (katharine), Thursday, 2 March 2006 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

For every ad that features a cute antagonistic back-and-forth of a married couple, I find myself wishing at least one will end with "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! JESUS! I SWEAR TO GOD, I WANT A DIVORCE AND I'M TAKING THE KIDS WITH ME."

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Thursday, 2 March 2006 14:53 (nineteen years ago)

crikey sunny successor, if you're right, it might be one of the cleverest ads ever. a reality version of the Kenco couple.

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 2 March 2006 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

i want a divorce and YOU'RE taking the kids

― sunny successor (katharine), Thursday, 2 March 2006 14:59 (nineteen years ago)

that is not clear, and let the record show that it is truly sunny successor who wrote the ad!

― Dominique (dleone), Thursday, 2 March 2006 15:00 (nineteen years ago)

now im rolling in cash and annoying america. what could be better?

― sunny successor (katharine), Thursday, 2 March 2006 15:12 (nineteen years ago)

This thread has totally redeemed I Love Everything, in my eyes. FOr today.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 2 March 2006 17:01 (nineteen years ago)

I always get stressed at the advert where it is cunningly revealed that "Ristorante" pizza by Dr. Oetke is, in fact, "made in Germany" (thanks EU legislation for averting me from "possible confusion in the mind of the consumer").
I imagine myself at some seaside pizzeria in Naples enjoying the taste of a freshly baked Margherita and then BANG, I'm back to some factory in industrial Dusseldorf.
And don't get me onto the fact that "Ragu" is "made in Holland"
Calzone, anyone?
Gx

― George C, Thursday, 2 March 2006 17:21 (nineteen years ago)

I am amazed at the depth of insight shown by Sunny Successor. It is now clear to me that this pizza commercial will likely be the first to win the Pulitzer for literature.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Thursday, 2 March 2006 17:24 (nineteen years ago)

I'm back to some factory in industrial Dusseldorf.

kraftwerk should do a concept album about pan-european frozen-food production. "trans-europe pizza express", if you like.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 2 March 2006 17:37 (nineteen years ago)

saw this ad last night.

answers, 1-10: the ad industry is dominated by a lot of clueless white dudes.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 2 March 2006 17:42 (nineteen years ago)

one year passes...

One year old!

― Oilyrags, Friday, 2 March 2007 04:17 (eighteen years ago)

This thread delivers.

― walterkranz, Friday, 2 March 2007 05:15 (eighteen years ago)

Suspend disbelief! For pizza.

― Maria :D, Friday, 2 March 2007 05:17 (eighteen years ago)

The analysis is a bit black and white, and also a bit too serious. Sometimes silly shit is just silly shit to get your attention. it worked.

― Windy G Moisture, Friday, 2 March 2007 05:21 (eighteen years ago)

Except I haven't bought one of their pizzas in the intervening year, the damn thing pissed me off so much. I used to gobble them pretty regularly, too. (some of this is due to an effort to not eat as much disgusting crap as I used to, to be sure.)

― Oilyrags, Friday, 2 March 2007 12:31 (eighteen years ago)

"Make it yourself Cunto, Pizza"

― G00blar, Friday, 2 March 2007 12:36 (eighteen years ago)

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