Do you believe in unconditional love?

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Do ya?

― mantilla, Friday, 3 March 2006 01:55 (twenty years ago)

Yep. Parents, siblings, dogs.

― JimD (JimD), Friday, 3 March 2006 01:57 (twenty years ago)

And Brian Wilson.

― JimD (JimD), Friday, 3 March 2006 01:57 (twenty years ago)

so not in a girlfriend/wife relationship then?

― mantilla, Friday, 3 March 2006 01:59 (twenty years ago)

It's probably possible in those situations, I'm just not sure it's healthy. Part of unconditional love means "even if you go crazy apeshit mental and decide you hate me and want to scream at me and throw things at me all day long, well, I'm not going to give up on you, you'll come round eventually, this is a long term thing". With families, that's a good thing. With girlfriends/wives, I don't know if it is...

― JimD (JimD), Friday, 3 March 2006 02:03 (twenty years ago)

I most certainly agree with you, but I'm not sure if I would make a distinction between that and my family. I would in the sense that I would be a whole lot more patient with my family but if the situation is extreme then I would think it's possible to stop loving family. Hypothetically.

― mantilla, Friday, 3 March 2006 02:07 (twenty years ago)

Perhaps. Haven't been there, doubt I ever will.

― JimD (JimD), Friday, 3 March 2006 02:09 (twenty years ago)

The thing about family is there is usually the socially accepted norm of unconditional love for one's family, so to stick by one's psychotic family in extreme cases can be seen as sympathetic in general, while sticking to one's psychotic lover is seen as plain stupid, and is usually mocked.

― qwpoi (maga), Friday, 3 March 2006 02:11 (twenty years ago)

Unconditional love is about a choice to orient your will and your actions in a certain way.

Don't confuse unconditional love with the senseless acceptance of abuse. Just because you unconditionally love someone who abuses you physically, emotionall, sexually, or whatever, doesn't mean you stick around and let the abuse go unchallenged. Abuse is not good for the abuser, and those who allow abuse are failing to love. Relationships can be severed, but we must never come to a point that we do not wish the best for the other person, truly and honestly.

― petlover, Friday, 3 March 2006 02:20 (twenty years ago)

Yes, for children and animals.

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Friday, 3 March 2006 02:28 (twenty years ago)

only if there's something in it for me

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 3 March 2006 03:07 (twenty years ago)

i dunno, it seems like there's a difference between like "i love my cat even though she's grouchy and needs regular medical care" and "i love my boyfriend even though he's abusive," yknow?

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Friday, 3 March 2006 03:26 (twenty years ago)

I want to believe in unconditional love, but it always goes to hell and power games harsh my buzz - thus I am single.

― Erick Dampier is better than Shaq (miloaukerman), Friday, 3 March 2006 03:28 (twenty years ago)

a qualified yes

― literalisp (literalisp), Friday, 3 March 2006 03:31 (twenty years ago)

― Mitya (mitya), Friday, 3 March 2006 03:34 (twenty years ago)

Oh, I thought this was a thread about Lionel Ritchie tunes.

― stu (stu), Friday, 3 March 2006 04:05 (twenty years ago)

I agree with pet lover. I've been a love quite a few times and, even though I've stopped desiring and/or getting along with whoever it was, I haven't stopped loving them. The acceptance / emotional part is unconditional, but the practical / living in the world part can't stay that way because life itself is condition(al).

― steve ketchup (steve ketchup), Friday, 3 March 2006 16:07 (twenty years ago)

There's a certain tone of voice reserved for dealing with small children and dogs.

There's also a certain kind of love which only applies with regards to small children and dogs. ;-)

― All Is Wub (kate), Friday, 3 March 2006 16:10 (twenty years ago)

I think this is basically right, but I think most people use "unconditional love" to mean something more than "wishing the best for the other person, truly and honestly.". If you leave an abusive partner and haven't seen them for years, does it really mean much to say you still unconditionally love them all the same?

I mean, I think I wish the best for most people, maybe even for everyone in the world, but I'm not really doing anything much for them. Y'know?

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 3 March 2006 16:13 (twenty years ago)

Part of unconditional love means "even if you go crazy apeshit mental and decide you hate me and want to scream at me and throw things at me all day long, well, I'm not going to give up on you, you'll come round eventually, this is a long term thing". With families, that's a good thing.

O RLY?

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 3 March 2006 16:15 (twenty years ago)

I think perhaps I think it's only something one should truly have for one's children. No one else.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 3 March 2006 16:15 (twenty years ago)

when they are still children, yeah.

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Friday, 3 March 2006 16:23 (twenty years ago)

I have a feeling it's a decision -- a person can endure a whole lot of tension/aggravation and still offer love if they choose to...BUT definitely it's a choice you make all over again every day, and it may be that at some point you have to choose differently, depending on situation (abuse fits here, and other bad things).

And the whole point is that it's unearned, not dependent on the loved one's measuring up or necessarily making it worth your while in any way.

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 3 March 2006 16:30 (twenty years ago)

― Abbott (Abbott), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:12 (twenty years ago)

I thought 'tough love' was under the larger umbrella of uncondidtional love, so if yr child/lover is being an abusive addicted asshole you have the resposibility/right to take them into treatment/jail/etc. My boif's mom who's a counselor says this anyway---"I love you guys unconditionally so if I find a bong in your house again blah blah blah..."

― Abbott (Abbott), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:13 (twenty years ago)

oops

― Abbott (Abbott), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:13 (twenty years ago)

One is reminded of the story of Oscar Wilde and that Lord Bosie (sp?) chappy. Sounds like he loved him unconditionally and ended up getting walked all over. Fucking well ended up in prison and snuffing it partly because of it.

My own shortish but nonetheless gratifying experience has taught me to believe in unconditional lust, in which situation you are so hung up on your girly's boobies and amazin' sexuality that you'll put up with just about anything for one more dance around the maypole.

― glamnesia, Monday, 6 March 2006 11:24 (twenty years ago)

Not one of Donna Summer's better records.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Monday, 6 March 2006 11:29 (twenty years ago)

I believe some people believe in it.

― Raw, Uncompromising, and Noodly (noodle vague), Monday, 6 March 2006 14:39 (twenty years ago)

but do those same people believe in life after unconditional love?

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 6 March 2006 14:40 (twenty years ago)

Unconditionally.

― Raw, Uncompromising, and Noodly (noodle vague), Monday, 6 March 2006 14:42 (twenty years ago)

cliced answer, embarrassing but true: never believed or thought I wd experience U/C luv until I became a parent.

― m coleman (lovebug starski), Monday, 6 March 2006 14:51 (twenty years ago)

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