haha not so much the gentleman, and other tales of inadvertent etiquette overthrow

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i just stood back w/o thinking to let someone in a hurry go through a door before -- which meant THEY had to punch in the security code and hold the door for me!

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 3 March 2006 16:44 (nineteen years ago)

Have we had the thread where I moan about lazy senior staffers who drawl 'four please' at anyone female/younger in the lift as if they are hallucinating '40s-style lift jockey?

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 3 March 2006 16:48 (nineteen years ago)

Suzy, what do the females/youngers DO when that happens?

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 3 March 2006 16:49 (nineteen years ago)

depends whether they post on ILX or not

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 3 March 2006 16:50 (nineteen years ago)

this abt when YOUR attempt at good manners misfired, not "theirs"

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 3 March 2006 16:50 (nineteen years ago)

THEY GET WET

― Jimmy Mod: The Prettiest Flower In The Pond (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Friday, 3 March 2006 16:50 (nineteen years ago)

Practically legendary children's lit ed Ursula Nordstrom was once asked, in a meeting with her male peers, to make the coffee. I believe she responded, "I don't know how".

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 3 March 2006 16:51 (nineteen years ago)

Laurel, it depends. If they're being even vaguely assholish about it I punch my own button and COMPLETELY ignore them.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 3 March 2006 16:52 (nineteen years ago)

"I'm sorry I lost all my fingers in a tragic blender accident. Can you push three while you're at it?"

― Mitya (mitya), Friday, 3 March 2006 16:55 (nineteen years ago)

suzy's derailment of my thread concept is k-rude :'(

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 3 March 2006 16:57 (nineteen years ago)

Once on a train, I stepped backwards to allow a woman with armfuls of shopping bags on, only to knock over a pregnant woman.

― Dan (Oops) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:02 (nineteen years ago)

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:02 (nineteen years ago)

Actually I can't count the number of people I've hit in the head with my bookbag or computer bag in an attempt to move out of someone else's way.

― Dan (Spatial Idiot) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:04 (nineteen years ago)

My father once offered his seat on the train to a pregnant woman. She wasn't pregnant, just had a long-lensed camera under her coat. She didn't find it rude though. So not much point me posting about it, I guess.

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:04 (nineteen years ago)

I may have posted before about how I tried to step aside on a subway train to make room for someone getting on behind me...and accidentally knocked into/pissed off a very big man in front of me, who didn't hesitate to let me know it on a rush hour train. Embarrassing and more than a little bit scary.

DAN, ARE YOU THAT PERSON HITTING ME W/ YR BACKPACK EVERY 2.3 MINUTES?!?

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:05 (nineteen years ago)

The other day I picked up of the some change that a woman dropped in the street. She was grateful, until I ran off with it!

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:06 (nineteen years ago)

(sorry mark)

I have offered seat to supposed pregnant person in 'maternity' top only to have inadvertently pissed off a large person, and wanted to die of shame.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:09 (nineteen years ago)

DAN, ARE YOU THAT PERSON HITTING ME W/ YR BACKPACK EVERY 2.3 MINUTES?!?

No!

― Dan (I Don't Have A Backpack) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:09 (nineteen years ago)

My father once offered his seat on the train to a pregnant woman. She wasn't pregnant, just had a long-lensed camera under her coat.

That reminds me of the time I offered my seat to a pregnant woman on a bus. Problem was, her husband was there and she hadn't told him yet. Worse, he wasn't even the father! A very embarrassing situation.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:09 (nineteen years ago)

2.7 out of 10

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:10 (nineteen years ago)

I used to like you.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:10 (nineteen years ago)

can I use that as an example of inadvertent etiquette overthrow and win back your favor??

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:11 (nineteen years ago)

I once overheard someone ask a large woman 'When's it due?' and get an earful. I think it must be a constant hazard for people with just that belly shape.

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:12 (nineteen years ago)

(I've done that too: also died of shame)

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:13 (nineteen years ago)

Almost as bad is when you don't mention someone's pregnancy on the grounds that they might just have gained weight and then they think: "Why hasn't he asked about my pregnancy - does he really think I'd let myself get this fat from eating? I could be sitting here looking a fright and he wouldn't say a thing. I might have a huge bogey hanging from my nose right now. What a sneaky bastard. I hate him."

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:20 (nineteen years ago)

A friend once politely held the door open for someone behind him, but then realised that the someone was Germaine Greer. He panicked because he thought he must have offended her feminist sensibilities with his gentlemanly behaviour and without thinking he red-facedly blurted out 'I'm sorry, I thought you were a man'. Then he ran away.

― indolent girl (indolent girl), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:27 (nineteen years ago)

that's brilliant.

― emsk ( emsk), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:28 (nineteen years ago)

THAT is K-Classic.

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:29 (nineteen years ago)

I don't believe a word of it tho.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:31 (nineteen years ago)

If it happened in Cambridge or the bit of Essex near it I don't doubt it at all.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:38 (nineteen years ago)

It was an Oxford college I believe.

― indolent girl (indolent girl), Friday, 3 March 2006 17:40 (nineteen years ago)

I never know whether to hello to customers who enter my store when they are chatting away on their phones. It would be rude to not acknowledge them, but it also feels a bit rude to interrupt thier conversation.

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Saturday, 4 March 2006 03:18 (nineteen years ago)

Surely you can say a quiet hello without interrupting them? Like, a smile or something?

― Alba (Alba), Saturday, 4 March 2006 09:21 (nineteen years ago)

(if they are avoiding eye contact then fuck em)

― Alba (Alba), Saturday, 4 March 2006 09:22 (nineteen years ago)

Dan Perry - do you ride the T? oh the failures of ettiquete I experienced there! Its hard to be genteel in a sardine tin

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Saturday, 4 March 2006 10:32 (nineteen years ago)

yeah, I usually just smile and nod.

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Saturday, 4 March 2006 13:03 (nineteen years ago)

I was in the grocery store a few weeks ago, and a drunk man in his fifties was standing next to the counter, blocking my way.

I pushed him the fuck out of my way and walked on. Lots of slurred curses behind me.

How do I sleep at night? I told myself "goddamn obnoxious drunks"
Winnar!

― Øystein (Øystein), Saturday, 4 March 2006 13:56 (nineteen years ago)

Me (indicating glove on the floor): Excuse me, is that your glove?
Rich lady (noticing glove on the floor at exactly the same moment I realise it's actually a ratty nasty wollen thing with holes in it): No!
Me: Oh, sorry.

― JimD (JimD), Saturday, 4 March 2006 14:18 (nineteen years ago)

dateline: mark s as teen on tour w.school orchestra in toronto in late 70s
set-up: re-entering concert after break in rehearsal, mark s is a few paces behind gaggle of canadian girlteen violinists*
caretaker: *notices one of violinists drop somethin from her bag* -- excuse me, i think you dropped something
girl: oh! did i? *looks back*
*girls and mark s all realise simultaneously dropped item = TAMPAX OH NOES!*
caretaker (not yet aware): yes *bends to retrieve item*
gaggle: *giggle* *flee*
caretaker: here you are! oh, where did they go? *vaguely offers it to mark s carry after them*
*mark s flees also, pretending he has seen nothing, understood less*
*kind caretaker left mournfully alone, looking at tampx, gradually realising what it is*

disclaimer: i can't fukn remember what instruments they played obv

― mark s (mark s), Saturday, 4 March 2006 14:55 (nineteen years ago)

some people at the liquor store thought i was pregnant once. it was odd, because i was much smaller than i am now, and, um, i had on a really tight-fitting jacket. i dunno, and ALSO i was buying some rum.

― POOP BITCH (Mandee), Saturday, 4 March 2006 18:05 (nineteen years ago)

i blame GLOW

― mark s (mark s), Saturday, 4 March 2006 18:14 (nineteen years ago)

Dan Perry - do you ride the T? oh the failures of ettiquete I experienced there! Its hard to be genteel in a sardine tin

THIS IS SO TRUE.

There was one time when I was seated on the orange line that I became so engrossed in the book I was reading that I didn't notice that a pregnant woman had gotten on the train and was standing right in front of my seat. I was going to offer my seat when I realized this but then I heard her talking loudly to her friend about how rude I was being for not offering her my seat, after which I was like, "Well you can just stand, pregnant bitch."

― Dan (Contrary Bastard) Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 4 March 2006 18:51 (nineteen years ago)

I'm going to start using "pregnant bitch" as my general, one-size-fits-all insult

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 4 March 2006 18:54 (nineteen years ago)

Ignore these people! They are the rude ones. Unless you are tied to some sort of commission.

At the library I glare at them, unless they are talking very loud/being very obnoxious & annoying, at which point I I point out our no cellphones policy.

― Mary (Mary), Saturday, 4 March 2006 23:59 (nineteen years ago)

I think what's worse is when they talk ontheir phones while paying for their clothes.

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Sunday, 5 March 2006 02:23 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...

latino dude in front of me, leather jacket, cap, about 5'5", hustling fast down the sidewalk past rockefeller center going east, pulls something from back pocket and as he does something else falls unheeded to the ground. i shout to him, "hey!" "hey buddy!" he stops and turns. "yeah! you dropped something," i say, and since i haven't stopped walking, i've now pulled even with the thing it is he's dropped, and begin the movement downwards to pick it up when i see that it's a small foil-wrapped condom - my body draws back even as it bends down and i somehow scuttle forward and away. he says nothing that i can hear.

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 11 April 2006 15:16 (nineteen years ago)

A 'small'? Oh, the humiliation.

― Tim (Tim), Tuesday, 11 April 2006 15:33 (nineteen years ago)

maybe that's the "latino" equiv. of dropping the soap

― dave $1.83 (dave225.3), Tuesday, 11 April 2006 15:51 (nineteen years ago)

maybe so?? it was the package that was small of course - i assume what was inside was normal-sized. it was the kind of oblong condom package where they pinch it together in the middle.

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 11 April 2006 16:08 (nineteen years ago)

"the package"

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 12 April 2006 02:11 (nineteen years ago)

I offered my seat to an old lady and she looked at me and scoffed and said "I'm not THAT OLD". Eep.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 12 April 2006 06:03 (nineteen years ago)

i was in a really fancy part of Beverly Hills in some clothing shop. i was trying to leave and three rich women were blocking the path i wanted to take to get out of the store. my wife said to them "excuse me" two or three times. i said it a few more times, and finally sorta yelled "EXCUSE US!". they didn't even notice we were standing there trying to get by them, so finally we just charged through them knocking them to the side a bit. the main girl said "geez, some people are so rude". i told her we'd been trying to pass them for an eternity and said excuse me a few times. we finally just left the store.

cue to a few minutes later we're walking to the car and the bitch comes up behind us like two blocks from the original store and says "geez, you guys musta been in some hurry". i tried to explain to her that she was blocking and we asked her to move like 10 times. it just turned into this major argument where she just kept telling us how rude we were. it started getting a bit heated where my wife (if any of you know her, she's kinda a spitfire) was screaming obscenities at this women. the other girl wouldn't stop, so finally i screamed "SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!" and she said "that's no way to talk to a woman" and my wife said "well if you were acting like a woman and not such a BITCH!". finally i just stopped walking and told my wife that if we didn't let the girl keep walking we'd have a homicide on our hands.

― Jaxon von Jaxon (jaxon), Wednesday, 12 April 2006 15:51 (nineteen years ago)

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