How many people have you managed to offend/annoy/alien in one day?

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This Friday:

i. Made some offhand comment about how the skirt Sara was wearing made her v.inchoate (thankyou Mark S) beergut look worse than it is (she admits to having got a little podgy, so saying this wouldn't offend her). She jokingly pretended to be offended, but her girlfriends overhear and gang up on me with some sisterhood "never call a girl fat" crap, Sara tells them to calm down, but it is too late.
ii. I/we proceed to get exceedingly drunk and go to the student union club. Sara + friends hide from me in the Ladies'. Bored of waiting outside I stick my head around the door, only to be dragged out by a bouncer. Due to my state of inebriation I am labelled a rapist and very nearly thrown out.
iii. My attempts to reconcile with Sara's friends by drunkenly saying I think she's very sexy (which she is) and cuddling her really start to annoy Sara, who was previously happy.
iv. I go and flirt with indie gurl Laura, whom I have met a couple of times but never really spoken to. She tells me she loves Belle and Sebastian, and I say something along the lines of "Oh I love that band, fancy a fuck?" (actually we have a lovely conversation about B+S etc (I fail to impress her with my Tompaulin I've-met-one-of-them cred (she's never heard of them)), but you might as well compress it to that), and being drunker than I've ever been, forget to intonate it as a joke correctly, or to realise this fact, or to bail on it (or to realise it's not much of a joke, and a very scary one at that). She thinks I'm serious, and politely leaves.

Sara and friends are speaking to me again, hopefully the bouncers won't hold grudges, and I am going to woo Laura the traditional indie way, I am making her a mix tape (Q: "Dirty Dream #2" "One Night Stand" - Good or bad ideas? not that I'm trying to be topical, I just like the songs).

So I made an arse of myself, but it was mainly through being misunderstood than actually doing anything stupid, so I should be forgiven. What's the worst series of stupid events you've had/done all at once?

― Graham, Sunday, 20 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

HMM. My own answer would probably dredge up a lot of bad memories. I'll be safe and say a couple of Saturdays ago when I was very ill- tempered around a number of friends.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 20 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There was a night before Christmas when I annoyed everyone.

1. I moaned all night about the place we ended up going to, because it's shit dammit! 2. I was very drunk and started talking nonsense to Una and she got quite pissed off with me. 3. As the night wore on I started realising how shit it was going for me and being snarky with everyone. 4. My friend Rob came along and I lost my temper with him majorly on the way home for breaking a glass. (I was justified that time).

Another friend stephen later showed me the following text in his phone from myself sent at 3 o clock in the morning. "if I tell you that was the worst night ever and I wanted to hurt myself can we never speak of it again". Oh dear I was rather cranky that day, mainly due to number 2 above actually. I apologised to the relevent parties in due course though.

― Ronan, Sunday, 20 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I make my entire family of 4 others mad at me all the time.

― Maria, Sunday, 20 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've given up keeping score, I'm so good at pissing people off.

― DG, Sunday, 20 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

One time after all-day drinking I started chasing people with a plunger and then vomited all over them. Normally they wouldn't been as pissed off, but it was right after granddad's funeral. Whoops!

― dave q, Sunday, 20 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

that would be my birthday last year. for numerous reasons (it couldn't be held where i wanted it to be held, my boyfriend-of-the- time piked on me, people i only invited out of politeness bringing their friends who i can't stand to an INVITE-ONLY party), i was really grumpy, and sat in a corner bitching about everyone all night. it ended with me chasing a friend of mine out of the pub, screaming "you've got no integrity!"

its my party, i can ruin it if i want to.

― di, Sunday, 20 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"you've got no integrity!"

i love that. heheh, Di would you mind if i used it in the future?

Graham you have now alientated me as well by putting my band in the B***e and S*******n bracket ;)

― katie, Monday, 21 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Graham, I don't know how you have the gall to look for peer group support and exoneration. I have never done anything remotely as bad as this. That stuff's just creepy, man.

― N., Monday, 21 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i annoy 200 peple by talking the truf about this bord. talk about proper real music like toploder can actly play instrumints and songs u sing to. not

Oh drat, I forgot this was ILE. Bugger! Sorry, chaps - pay no attention to my asinine meanderings.

― XStatic Peace, Monday, 21 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The day I gradutaed I manage to piss off my mother, father, Mum's boyfriend and stepmother in half an hour. Considering they started off being all proud of me I thought it was quite an achivement.

― Anna, Monday, 21 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

How about doing it the other way round and asking how many people have offended / annoyed / alienated you in one day? So far today: every single person I have encountered, directly or indirectly. Oh dear.

― Emma, Monday, 21 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I can be quite nice, but usually my loud-mouthed opinionations and punchable face alienate at least half of all company. I can also be insufferably nasty to the people I love the most. God I'm an arse.

― Mark C, Monday, 21 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i do that too, MarkC. i am an arse, and i also have no integrity.

*hugs* to Emma though!

― katie, Monday, 21 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

oo, now here's a good one to join in with...

I too am an arse.

― Alan Trewartha, Monday, 21 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't think I deserve hugs for being a miserable (if greatly put upon and therefore to some extent it's justifiable) bitch but it's nice to have them anyway.

I'm sure I offend everyone in the office on a daily basis in some way or another. I hope I haven't offended any of my friends lately (other than Pete but that doesn't count as being offensive is our schtick).

― Emma, Monday, 21 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Graham, that's nowhere near as many people you alienated at the ILE awards.

― Pete, Monday, 21 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

*hugs* to Emma as well, for good cheer, see. :-)

How about doing it the other way round and asking how many people have offended / annoyed / alienated you in one day?

Just swing by my workplace during final exam week. Then EVERYONE does.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 21 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

On reflection, Nick is absolutely right.

― Graham, Tuesday, 22 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

We need more amusing stories on this board. Come on.

― Maria, Tuesday, 22 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

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