The Armstrongs

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Coventry's third-largest double-glazing company. "Success Through Management." "We were thinking of taking them somewhere exotic, like Bournemouth, or Poole, or Blackpool." Metaphors as mangled as the stray Rottweiler in their back yard. The motivational guru and champion Othello player.

I'm not entirely convinced that they're not acting it up at least a little bit, but the programme is an unfailingly jaw-dropping dessert after the main course of The Apprentice.

Feel free to furnish quotes, etc. ("If you burp on me one more time," "They're all dead. They just haven't fallen over yet").

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 9 March 2006 08:51 (twenty years ago)

See also The Office Christmas Party one-off from a year or so ago. Featuring Mr. Armstong pep-talking his sales staff and raising their quotas while wearing a Santa outfit: "Shoot for the stars and you'll reach the Moon!"

― robster (robster), Thursday, 9 March 2006 09:02 (twenty years ago)

I knew I'd seen them before

yeh, it is quite funny and almost everything they say/every "decision" they make is ill-thought and un- to counterproductive

how does the company survive?

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 9 March 2006 09:06 (twenty years ago)

It's sort of too good to believe. Everyone has their own perfectly formed comic persona, even the most minor players that you hardly ever see, like the guy who called down from the balcony on the shop floor - his inexplicable comedy Brummie accent!
Funniest thing on the box.

― Merryweather (scarlet), Thursday, 9 March 2006 10:44 (twenty years ago)

I had to stop watching after the first episode, fewl that I am. When that guy told them he'd need time off to go and play Othello tournaments and recommended a website to them if they were interested I yelled out 'THIS IS NOT REAL' and ran off.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 9 March 2006 11:05 (twenty years ago)

last night's dream sequence did seem to suggest it wasn't exactly fly-on-the-wall. mr motivator is also too much like the doctor on Jaaaam.

― koogs (koogs), Thursday, 9 March 2006 11:21 (twenty years ago)

You'll probably get the real Mr Motivator turning up before the series ends. Or Mad Lizzie.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 9 March 2006 11:24 (twenty years ago)

yeah, the guy calling from the balcony was v funny

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 9 March 2006 11:40 (twenty years ago)

I almost fell off my seat laughing when it said the woman was "...a devotee of Zimbabwean business guru, Basil Meanie". The guy's swearing is very unconvincing.

― Rotatey Diskers With Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 9 March 2006 12:06 (twenty years ago)

yeah, the guy calling from the balcony was v funny

i turned this on last night just as this was happening. i laughed so hard tea came out of my nose.

but holy fuck, is this for real? "yes, i've sooooooooooooooooold!" they're ALL MOOKS. how did that chumper sales guy get such bad teeth? why are they all such cocks?

damn, i'm going to get addicted to this now.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 9 March 2006 12:20 (twenty years ago)

I guess you've all noticed that Momus is working in their sales team..

― Nicholas Passant (Nicholas Passant), Thursday, 9 March 2006 12:37 (twenty years ago)

I guess you've all noticed that Momus is working in their sales team.

The one who spends all day gazing blankly at his Max Power BIG-FAST-CAR! screen pic?

― Merryweather (scarlet), Thursday, 9 March 2006 13:18 (twenty years ago)

does Momus play Othello?

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 9 March 2006 13:19 (twenty years ago)

I was disappointed that they didn't make it over to Cork in the end.
As to whether it's real, acted or something in between, Clancy's (the pub in Cork that Mrs. Armstrong phoned) is real, and as described over the phone.

'It's got a wheelchair-access toilet. I love Ireland.'

'Maybe we could go over for the Eucharist instead.'

― Joe Kay (feethurt), Thursday, 9 March 2006 18:51 (twenty years ago)

WTF, no-one's mentioned "I wake up in the morning and he's vanished, leaving just a wet patch" yet?!?!?!

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 9 March 2006 19:04 (twenty years ago)

'Maybe we could go over for the Eucharist instead.'

Mrs A: "What's that then?"
Mr A: "I dunno, something to do with Easter."

Also, SHE HAD HER HAIR IN BUNCHES!!! AT HER AGE!!!!

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 9 March 2006 19:07 (twenty years ago)

Haha, and the morning spent designing and building a kennel out of windows for the dog that turned up in their yard. Which clearly needed a vet, not a poodle parlour (which Mrs A didn't think would look at it, given that it wasn't actually a poodle). They then wanted to keep it as a guard dog because that way it would be tax-deductible.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 9 March 2006 19:35 (twenty years ago)

As a Coventrian, I'm afraid the company and the whole 'life-is-meaningless' vibe rings pretty true. But, for more insight/hilarity, try the official website ( http://www.thearmstrongs.tv/ ), especially the blog.

― sos (yaye), Friday, 10 March 2006 03:15 (twenty years ago)

two weeks pass...

Right, this is a piss-take, yes? Bloke so far is singing "I'm a Sales Man" to "Soul Man", trying to explain the deeper meaning of Tracy Emin's artwork (and criticising her punctuation at that), and has a poster with "DNA Spunk" which he is trying to explain to a bloke who reminds me a bit of Tuomas (I haven't seen this for a few weeks).

They've also lost the dude with the teeth, who appears to be the only sales person capable of maybe selling something some day.

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 29 March 2006 20:32 (twenty years ago)

"The trees in the forest sometimes have to be moved to another forester."

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 30 March 2006 06:57 (twenty years ago)

"They look like quite good... maybe a bit too Swedish..."

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 30 March 2006 11:42 (twenty years ago)

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