Things to do in prison?

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If you ever wind up in prison, how would you pass the time? Same as you do living in, uh, freedom?

Curt, Monday, 21 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'd start digging the escape tunnel. But, I wouldn't befriend the prison morgue worker...and attempt to escape by concealing myself in a coffin, which he would then dig up later. As, I saw a scary film where this very thing happened. But she didn't check who was in the coffin...you guessed it...the prison morgue worker. She was buried alive.

jel, Monday, 21 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh, lord, don't say it. I'd go nuts. I'd desparately hope the prison library 1) exists and 2) has something I'd like.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 21 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I would try and make contacts with the friendly prison drug dealer and spend as much of the experience completely out of my gourd.

electric sound of jim, Monday, 21 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Call my people as much as possible...hover around the phones if necessary so I could make as many calls as possible. Either that or purposedly starve myself so I was allowed to see the psychiatrist...at least I would have someone remotely close to societal standards to talk to, not to degrade prison people. I am sure the prison people are interesting...but they're in there for some reason or another, and I am not sure I would want to find out exactly why. Prison can be a dangerous place...so I'd stay away from guards...seen too many movies where inmates are abused by such guards...freaky. Either that or just act like some crazy person and either 1) not say a word my entire sentence or 2) talk so much that they need to put me in seclusion - where I would just sleep the whole day, I could probably catch up on half my life's deprevation of sleep. Wonderful. Cushioned rooms! I could probably jump around all I wanted and not feel a thing!

kimera, Monday, 21 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

well i'd get more sex on the inside that's for sure.

goeff, Tuesday, 22 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

WEIGHT ROOM!

Tadeusz Suchodolski, Tuesday, 22 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Take a mothafucka like you/ Without remorse, this is what I'd do/ Punk ya out, make ya be my bitch/ And let a nigga get your shit on his dick for one cigarette"

Actually, in reality I'd probably hurt myself, get sent to the nut ward and hide under the bedsheets crying. Either that, or get wasted on 'pruno' and cast fate to the wind

dave q, Tuesday, 22 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'd try and get work in the kitchens, as I like cooking. Initially my life might seem relatively unchanged, although my cosmetic selection would doubtless be reduced. I seem to recall Heidi Fleiss lamenting along these lines.

But what if my spirit was broken? I worry that if I was "doing time" I might eventually succumb to peer pressure and pee on the "screws'" food before putting it into the oven, and that I might applaud my own act with snorts of ugly laughter.

"Take that, cocksuckers," I might even say. (Ordinarily such crudeness would not pass my lips.)

That would be the main difference, I think, the peeing on the food. Here "on the outside" I'm more conventional and tend to use herbs and spices for flavouring.

Nancy Drew, Tuesday, 22 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

kimera, what are you talking about, you're already in prison. Jump now, if you must.

Honda, Tuesday, 22 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Baseball. Bounce. Until I drive all the wardens nuts.

Of course they have the interweb in prison now. WHere do you think I'm posting from?

Pete, Tuesday, 22 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have seen Bad Girls so I know to spend my time: taking drugs; joining a gang and beating up wimpy inmates; having affairs (either lesbian or with convenient prison handymen or with screws); getting up to japes; plotting my escape; washing floors.

It sounds far better than my mundane life on the outside.

Emma, Tuesday, 22 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I saw Chopper the other night and hopefully if I had to go to prison I would not have to cut anyone's ears off.

Jonnie, Tuesday, 22 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Cutting off ears sounds like it would be one of the more fun aspects of prison life, don't knock it til you try it.

Nicole, Tuesday, 22 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ow, it fucking hurts. I feel free to knock it now.

Jonnie, Tuesday, 22 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Little crybaby. You're worse than Scott Tennerman, you are.

Nicole, Tuesday, 22 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Not coming soon: Jonnie starring in Reservoir Dogs 2: The Search for Tarantino's Career

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 22 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

nine years pass...

SACRAMENTO, Calif. (KGO) -- No more "friending" for California's prison inmates. The Department of Corrections is cracking down on prisoners using social networks from their cells, and Facebook is planning to help remove those accounts. Crime victims are applauding the change.

"We're very excited Facebook is starting to remove these pages," said Katie James with the California Department of Corrections.

Countless numbers of California inmates are actively updating their Facebook account from their cells behind bars using smartphones that have been smuggled into prisons. They're posting pictures in front of their bunks and talking about time in the yard. But the activities aren't always mundane -- the state says they're sometimes plotting crimes with each other in code on social media. One child molester even contacted his victim who's now 17.

"We found that he was accessing her Facebook site, her photos, and he was pretty much monitoring her life, and was able to know what she looked like even this many years later," said James.

Facebook is now working with the corrections department and other law enforcement across the country to disable the accounts of inmates who are actively posting while incarcerated, even if it's updated by a family member on the outside.

Prisoners' rights groups say that's not fair because inmates need to stay connected with family or tell media about the conditions inside.

"Social media is one way that prisoners and family members have used in order to communicate with each other," said Isaac Ontiveros with Critical Resistance. "Social media becomes a tool for prisoners to expose what's going on inside the prisons."

Victims' rights groups applaud the move. They say prisoners are still able to use pay phones and write letters and that access to technology means they're up to no good.

Corrections has been trying to get a grip of the proliferation of cell phones in prison -- more than 7,000 have been confiscated in the first six months of this year alone.

"This is like organized crime," said Harriet Salarno with Crime Victims United. "They can get in touch with gangs, they can commit crimes from prison. We need to stop all this."

buzza, Tuesday, 9 August 2011 21:55 (fourteen years ago)

one year passes...

http://lens.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/01/26/up-against-the-wall-prison-snapshots/

rockism against racism (schlump), Saturday, 26 January 2013 21:11 (thirteen years ago)

two years pass...

You mostly write letters and try to work out the v bizarre interpersonal dynamics. It sucks.

sonic thedgehod (albvivertine), Wednesday, 8 July 2015 00:15 (ten years ago)

how long were in for?

dylannn, Wednesday, 8 July 2015 01:01 (ten years ago)

you

dylannn, Wednesday, 8 July 2015 01:01 (ten years ago)

getting sw0le obviously

and reading the classics

F♯ A♯ (∞), Wednesday, 8 July 2015 18:18 (ten years ago)

where do I sign

the story of ilm: an ottyssey (wins), Wednesday, 8 July 2015 18:20 (ten years ago)

Saw your post on the Sia thread a couple days back. Have you since swung from a chandelier?

how's life, Wednesday, 8 July 2015 18:48 (ten years ago)


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