Why Am I Such A Space Cadet?

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I thought weed was good for musicians. I guess it's a double-bladed
knife. On the one hand it inspires you to create, on the other
hand it distracts you with totally fanciful side effects.

Why am I such a space cadet? For about 72 hours I've been
stoned off my ass from weed. I wake up in the morning, smoke a bowl
or two and then just proceed from there.

The instant I wake up in the morning, I want to smoke marijuana.
That gets me out of bed, and throughout my day I smoke
pot every hour or so, getting more and more disconnected,
more and more stoned and eccentric. It's like a snake eating it's
own head: I smoke pot to feel comfortable, but then when I get
too stoned I feel uncomfortable, so then I have to maybe sleep for a half an hour and then smoke again. Do you understand?

I've been sitting here, staring into space for ten minutes,
trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

Sure, I go to college, I get good grades, but only because I put forth a bare minimum of effort to do so. Every day I wake up
alone and think "What's the point?"

I go about my day either high or wishing I could get high.

The simple fact is, I'm a bonafide stoner. I'm a space
cadet. Why must I always spend such a heavy percentage of
my time/income/energy/life on little green flowerbuds?

The fact is, I can't afford to smoke weed, but I still do.
Here I am, 22 years old, bookish, intelligent, (I aced a college
history course while my mates were in primary school), educated,
articulate, somewhat naturally ambitious, and totally lacking in
the motivation required to make something of my life.

I mean, every day, I wake up alone, stumble out of bed, do
some laundry, do a load of dishes, shower, and then dissapear
into the spinning, bizarre dreamworld of marijuana. Why didn't
anyone warn me about this? It's like my life is controlled by a
plant.

Then there's drinking. I don't drink nearly as much as most people
my age (21), but I do drink compulsively and I drink too much.

What are the historical roots of young adult listlessness?
I'm 22 years old, prime in my life, healthy, good-looking,
intelligent. Why do I want to do nothing but smoke pot all day
every day? Of course, if I had no pot connection I would drink whiskey. What causes the human desire to catch a "buzz" or get
intoxicated?

Why do you young people have to use mind-altering chemicals all
the damn time? Do you really get wiser as you get older, or do
heavy drinkers and smokers just die off?


P.S
Here's some of my random folk-rock ramblings:
http://www.soundclick.com/thevirginmiracles

squirl plise, Wednesday, 22 March 2006 02:27 (nineteen years ago)

Is this a poem?

chap who would dare to be a stone cold thug (chap), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 02:34 (nineteen years ago)

oh well, at least you've made a post today, that's a 'bonafide' bowl-earner right there. afterwards you should take a nap.

estela (estela), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 02:43 (nineteen years ago)

I am an olive-skinned dobro-player named Jack.
By the way I'm in Boise Idaho. If anyone in Boise Idaho reads
this, please meet me somewhere so we can talk about life, the universe and blowing up the Bronco stadium.

Why did I just post to this board?
Why have I posted hundreds, maybe thousands of these missives
to boards over the years? So loaded with emptiness.

Why does momus talk to us? He's a god right? I mean, really,
he's a famous musician/songwriter. What's going on.

squirl plise, Wednesday, 22 March 2006 02:54 (nineteen years ago)

WHOA BOISE BAITER.
Did you come to my house and buy my CDs recently?
I don't know to many dobroists in the area!
I am from Boise BTW.

Abbott (Abbott), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 04:50 (nineteen years ago)

Oh wait, no, that guy was not 22. Sorry. Weird to see another Boisean on here. Do you post to the APPP too?

Abbott (Abbott), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 04:51 (nineteen years ago)

Are you 21 or 22 then? Do you go yo BSU? I lived the stoner fuck life, too...I went to a fiction writing class 1/3 of the time & still pulled a B. BSU is not exactly challenging. This town doesn't have a lot to offer to motivate you to stop from getting high/drunk. You have to find a reason to live, or a reason you want things to be different, if you don't want the FEED ME SEYMOUR plant-control effect. But god this whole subject gets me emotional lately. Just had to put a 2nd friend in the hospital lately for getting to the point of crazy where he was seriously hurting himself. I mean, be careful. I've lived in different parts of ID my whole life and I've seen so many people burn out and destroy themselves. Since I've never lived anywhere else, part of me wants to suspect it's this state. I bet it's the same everywhere though.

Abbott (Abbott), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 04:58 (nineteen years ago)

A real stoner would never do the laundry, the dishes and take a shower.

dr lulu (dr lulu), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 09:03 (nineteen years ago)

P.S
Here's some of my random folk-rock ramblings:
http://www.soundclick.com/thevirginmiracles


-- squirl plise (gblinatri...) (webmail), Today 2:27 AM. (later) (link)


ha.

mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 10:06 (nineteen years ago)

A real stoner would never do the laundry, the dishes and take a shower.
-- dr lulu

Yeah really. Especially everyday after waking up. I lived a much less active and depressing life than this in college without all the drug use.

richardk (Richard K), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 10:22 (nineteen years ago)

how come you wear enough clothes to have to do laundry every day?

emsk ( emsk), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 10:31 (nineteen years ago)

He forgot that he did them yesterday?

dr lulu (dr lulu), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 19:59 (nineteen years ago)

Did you have your birthday WHILE you were writing yr first post?

Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 20:08 (nineteen years ago)

Why do I want to do nothing but smoke pot all day every day?

If it isn't too much trouble I would like to point out that, while you claim this desire is all-encompassing, you appear to have rather mixed feelings on this matter. It would appear that there is whole 'nother set of desires you have that are getting short shrift and need some more of your attention.

Let 'em breathe, fella. They're dying in there.

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Wednesday, 22 March 2006 20:51 (nineteen years ago)

I had sex last night so my depression is better. I actually waited
until now (6:45 local time) to get stoned today. An entire sober,
functioning day, can you believe it.

I guess I'm 22. I turned 22 on Febrarury 27. I was 21 for a long, long, time so I'm not used to being 22 yet.

As for the laundry, I do have lots of clothes. Most of them
are falling to pieces, but I find it hard to throw them away.
It's like we've been thru so much, we're almost like old friends.

Abbott,
Yes I go to BSU, part time this semester not full time.
What's APPP? What part of Boise do you live in? What are your
favorite bars here? I like the Big Easy but I really don't know
Boise very well yet. If you're a musician, what kind of music
do you play/where do you play live, etc. Do you play bluegrass?
Bluegrass rawks.


squirl polise, Thursday, 23 March 2006 01:51 (nineteen years ago)


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