Cast yer own movie.

As mentioned on the parallel thread, no real idea who plays me. I don't know, anyone who's ever met me have any suggestions? Somebody who is sardonic but is addicted to broad gestures and being show-offy -- I'd suggest Oscar Wilde but he's dead and too heavy. Couldn't easily cast anyone as my friends outside of work, they're themselves. Coworkers, though -- let's see, my boss Jack = Jet Li, former coworker and still good friend Lisa Payne = Rosalind Russell's attitude and Kathy Najimy's bearing, current coworker Tom Porrino = a young Peter Cook with a slight Boston accent.

Plot of movie -- I wake up and wonder what the fuck will happen today. After plenty of adventures with thieving students, ridiculous TAs, clueless professors and fellow employees who are *not* up to snuff, interspersed with amusing discussions between The Good People. Concludes with a marvellous dinner and nutty stories, end credits play the Chameleons' "PS Goodbye" if it's a melancholy day or the Aphex Twin's "On" if it's a fun one.

Me - Taye Diggs or Shemar Moore, depends on which type of Gorgeous Black Man I want people to think of me as.
Joei - Umm. Probably Kimberly Elise. There really aren't any actresses that look like her.
My brother - Mos Def. They look nothing alike, but I think they have similar personalities.
My dad - Sydney Poiter, cuz he's smoove like dat.
My mom - Diahann Carroll, although I suspect she's too tall.

I may cast people on the board later. Right now, I'd like to be really mean and evil and say, "and featuring Carrot- Top as Ned Raggett!"

Anyways, it'll just detail the past year of my life, but more glamourous and with more drugs and I'll die tragically at the end.

(For those wondering, I give you Carrot-top -- next person who finds Dan, smack him one for me. Between Carrot-top and the ICP, you have much of the Midwest and Dan himself all too clearly explained.)

I'd like to point out that, while I do like ICP, I am NOT a fan of Carrot-Top. The best thing I've seen him in was an episode of "Strip Mall" where he was butchered and turned into the daily special at the take-out place.

This 'Strip Mall' cameo clearly sounds like the best thing the man has ever done. Dare anyone admit they actually saw his pathetic movie?

I left off an ending credits song... It would be very "Love And Basketball" of me to pick "Dance Tonight" by Lucy Pearl. I think I will pick "Zeotrope" by Boards of Canada instead.

Londoners: My friend Carlos: John Turturro. My friend Feargus: Michael Clarke (the dancer). My friend Esther: Kate Winslet. Stuart: Alexis Arquette. Helen: Vanessa Paradis with Kate Moss dubbed in. Satinder: Ayesha Dharker. Josie and Tim: Sherilyn Fenn and All young British artists will play themselves. All people in groups, etc will play themselves. All fashionistas to be played by themselves.

http://www.carrottop.com/ bio.html

...which might not be much if it wasn't for this:

Favorite Drinks: Wine (cabernet... Stonestreet, Boonsfarm, and Jordan)

HE WILLINGLY DRINKS BOONE'S FARM WINE. Even with all the money he undoubtedly makes. The man should be shot on culinary grounds alone.

I think I'd rather not have any real actors in my film, and have myself and everyone I know played by the Muppets.

I would like to be played by Kat Slater off Stenders minus the orange slap(not cos I look like her mind) not some poncey fey girlie English Rose actress called Kate (Winslet, Beckinsale etc.) Or maybe Jordan.

A friend of ours made us fake Lollies posters for the upcoming tour, and since she didn't have any photos of us, she used actors and stuff that looked just convincingly enough like personally styled versions of us to make people do double takes. We had them up at the show last night, it was very funny, and provided our usual hecklers with one of their star moments.

Kate = Brigitte Bardot / Matthew = John Travolta / Jane = Alison Hannigan (sp?) Willow from Buffy / Rachel = Jane Birkin (thanks for figuring out who it was, Paul)

But anyway... Jude Law...

I'm packing your bags, and you'll find them on the front doorstep when you get home...

Besides, you're infinitely more like Jane Birkin than Ms. 'Talentless' Bardot anyway. Which makes me Serge Gainesbourg.

If there is some weird flashback for no reason involving my grandparents on my dad's side, they'd totally be played by Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed because they look exactly like them.

I think, actually, Rosie from Pram as Whitney Houston. ;-)