Would you date somebody who is Christian, virgin, and saving it for marriage?

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Well, would you? Or call it off?

― Mickey (modestmickey), Saturday, 1 April 2006 08:28 (nineteen years ago)

I wouldn't because they would obviously be incompatible with me.

― Andrew (enneff), Saturday, 1 April 2006 08:32 (nineteen years ago)

this is basically 'anal sex: c or d?' right?

― j blount (papa la bas), Saturday, 1 April 2006 08:35 (nineteen years ago)

It's easy to slip a date rape drug in the refreshing beverage of a naive Christian person.

Or so I've heard.

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!! (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Saturday, 1 April 2006 08:36 (nineteen years ago)

I don't know "anal sex: c or d?" but um, whatever.

No, seriously, I'm wondering. If you met a girl that seemed perfect for you in all other ways, except for the fact that her ideology is totally incompatable with you (you = atheist, likes sex, etc)... would it be possible? Or is it out of the question?

I was hoping for something insightful. But you know, whatever. Anal sex - classic or dud?

― Mickey (modestmickey), Saturday, 1 April 2006 08:39 (nineteen years ago)

why would they want to date you, exactly? wouldn't your fleshly, whoring past of unrenounced indulgence put them off?

― baby, disco is fuck (yournullfame), Saturday, 1 April 2006 08:45 (nineteen years ago)

Theoretically man, theoretically

― Mickey (modestmickey), Saturday, 1 April 2006 08:47 (nineteen years ago)

i think everyone reading this thread is well aware you're speaking 'theoretically' here.

― j blount (papa la bas), Saturday, 1 April 2006 08:47 (nineteen years ago)

― Mickey (modestmickey), Saturday, 1 April 2006 08:53 (nineteen years ago)

how's that billy joel song go? christian girls are super-tight?

― gear (gear), Saturday, 1 April 2006 08:54 (nineteen years ago)

catholic

― electric sound of jim (and why not) (electricsound), Saturday, 1 April 2006 08:55 (nineteen years ago)

'christian girls wanna get buttfucked all night, i just don't have that much jam'

― j blount (papa la bas), Saturday, 1 April 2006 08:55 (nineteen years ago)

anal sex with christian girls: c or d?

― Mickey (modestmickey), Saturday, 1 April 2006 08:56 (nineteen years ago)

actually that goes without saying

― Mickey (modestmickey), Saturday, 1 April 2006 08:57 (nineteen years ago)

lol on a couch, right

― gear (gear), Saturday, 1 April 2006 08:58 (nineteen years ago)

jesus had an easier time dealing with his cross than i've had dealing with christian girls' crossed legs!

― gear (gear), Saturday, 1 April 2006 08:59 (nineteen years ago)

lol + hat

― Mickey (modestmickey), Saturday, 1 April 2006 08:59 (nineteen years ago)

only if she was buddist

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Saturday, 1 April 2006 09:26 (nineteen years ago)

obviously the answer to this question depends on the quality of the blowjobs

― Thomas Tallis (Tommy), Saturday, 1 April 2006 10:25 (nineteen years ago)

You just tell them it's not against the Bible, it's because of love and you're going to marry them anyway. Or so I've been told.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Saturday, 1 April 2006 10:27 (nineteen years ago)

And did he marry you anyway?

― JimD (JimD), Saturday, 1 April 2006 11:07 (nineteen years ago)

About a decade ago, I dated a virginal, saving-it-for-marriage Christian. She was very cute, and we did mess around, stopping just short of fucking. We lasted about 3 months. Then she cheated on me with this guy I knew, and ended up having sex with him.

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Saturday, 1 April 2006 14:28 (nineteen years ago)

the most religious (youngish) person i know talks about how it's best to save it for marriage and then has more 'accidental' sexual encounters than i've ever had. her encounters usually being with charming, somewhat-manipulative guys. if you're not a smarmy asswipe, though, you probably aren't going to try to talk that sort of girl out of her morals (and pants). which is cool, if you could handle it. but then there's the ocmpatibility issue of dealing with someone who has such strong christian beliefs, because that can get really grating, regardless of sexual issues.

it seems that the christianity/prudery combo would probably be best to avoid in a partner...

― Juulia (julesbdules), Saturday, 1 April 2006 14:45 (nineteen years ago)

Is she a hostess at your restaurant? That totally cancels out any moral concerns she might have.

― Big Willy and the Twins (miloaukerman), Saturday, 1 April 2006 15:07 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.wizznutzz.com/images/laettner_jesus.jpg

― timmy tannin (pompous), Saturday, 1 April 2006 15:30 (nineteen years ago)

It's easy to slip a date rape drug in the refreshing beverage of a naive Christian person.

Or so I've heard.

"No, really, it stands for God's Heavenly Beverage!"

― Daddy's Little Duder (unclejessjess), Saturday, 1 April 2006 15:33 (nineteen years ago)

i would seriously date someone who was saving their \'technical\' virginity for marriage, yes, if we could still have oral and anal sex. (anyone who still thinks women can\'t get off from anal probably didn\'t spend their highschool years dating girls from the local catholic school! god, i had no idea how spoiled i was.)

i would not seriously date anyone who restricted premarital sex to handjobs or less. i\'m not going to plan to spend the rest of my life with someone without knowing if we\'re sexually compatible.

i would not seriously date anyone whose ideology was totally incompatible with mine. it would invite misery.

― i am not logged in, Saturday, 1 April 2006 15:36 (nineteen years ago)

fucking proxy!

― i am not logged in, Saturday, 1 April 2006 15:37 (nineteen years ago)

It seems glaringly obvious that the Christian virgin in question is a female. This begs the question, how many virginal Christian young men actually "save themselves" for marriage? And why?

― Aimless (Aimless), Saturday, 1 April 2006 15:38 (nineteen years ago)

i am less concerned with the virgin/saving it for marriage part of this question than i am with the christian element. id have to know what form of christianity he would believe in and his opinion on specific issues. [homosexuality, abortion immediately spring to mind] but thats the whole idea of compatibility in a nutshell. ive dated a few "cool" indie rock dudes who turned out to be more conservative in their ideaologies than the christians i know.

as for the whole virginity issue, whats the problem here? if thats what they want to believe in, then who am i to question otherwise?

― mts (theoreticalgirl), Saturday, 1 April 2006 15:54 (nineteen years ago)

ive dated a few "cool" indie rock dudes who turned out to be more conservative in their ideaologies than the christians i know.

So OTM that the money is thinking or pressing sexual harrassment charges.

― STOP! Time Thief! (kate), Saturday, 1 April 2006 15:55 (nineteen years ago)

"a few"

― Mystic Handyman (noodle vague), Saturday, 1 April 2006 16:01 (nineteen years ago)

as for the whole virginity issue, whats the problem here? if thats what they want to believe in, then who am i to question otherwise?

big difference between respecting the beliefs of another person, and DATING that person, though. i have no problem with people who want to have no sex of any kind before marriage (well actually i do find it silly but whatever), but dating them seems like a bad idea for me. depends on how important sex is to you in a relationship, i guess.

― i am not logged in, Saturday, 1 April 2006 16:02 (nineteen years ago)

i completely agree. however, the virgin in question needs to have a long conversation with themself about why they're dating in the first place. it seems antithetical to the whole "no sex before marriage" thing.

― mts (theoreticalgirl), Saturday, 1 April 2006 16:19 (nineteen years ago)

Because the alternative is importing a bride from Russia?

― Øystein (Øystein), Saturday, 1 April 2006 16:23 (nineteen years ago)

Perhaps they are dating in order to try and find a marriage partner, rather than dating solely for the purposes of having sex? Perhaps they are dating for the purposes of companionship and establishing whether a person is a potential marriage partner?

These things seem rather reasonable to me.

― STOP! Time Thief! (kate), Saturday, 1 April 2006 16:25 (nineteen years ago)

1) Christian - yes
2) Virgin - yes
3) Saving for Marriage - no leaning to maybe.

― remy (x Jeremy), Saturday, 1 April 2006 16:33 (nineteen years ago)

It seems likely to me that they'd be dating in order to find a partner, ie get married.

If I liked such a person enough, (& if I were single) I wouldn't have much of a problem w/dating them, really. The sex thing would be frustrating, I must admit, but I don't think it would be enough to put me off them if I liked them enough.

This:

About a decade ago, I dated a virginal, saving-it-for-marriage Christian. She was very cute, and we did mess around, stopping just short of fucking. We lasted about 3 months. Then she cheated on me with this guy I knew, and ended up having sex with him.

-- Tantrum The Cat (tantrumthecat@

...would be a terrible thing to go through, though. I don't know how I could stand something like that.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 1 April 2006 16:34 (nineteen years ago)

It did fuck me up pretty good at the time. My entire love life is littered with these bizarre little incidents.

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Saturday, 1 April 2006 16:41 (nineteen years ago)

Is she a hostess at your restaurant? That totally cancels out any moral concerns she might have.
-- Big Willy and the Twins (wooderso...) (webmail), April 1st, 2006. (miloaukerman)

haha, hilarious that you bring that up. There actually is a hostess exactly like this at my restaurant, but it wasn't her that prompted the question.

dude, do you work with me and I don't know it?

― Mickey (modestmickey), Saturday, 1 April 2006 21:02 (nineteen years ago)

ive dated a few "cool" indie rock dudes who turned out to be more conservative in their ideaologies than the christians i know.
So OTM that the money is thinking or pressing sexual harrassment charges.

-- STOP! Time Thief! (masonicboo...) (webmail), April 1st, 2006. (kate)

Well, of course. The question sort of presumes the existence of these people. I imagine there isn't any, or at least very few, ILE posters who'd be interested in dating a Pat Robertson.

So the question concerns this type of person: perfect in all the right ways ("cool indie rock" or whatever), except they just so happen to also be Christian virgins who won't sleep with you.

― Mickey (modestmickey), Saturday, 1 April 2006 21:10 (nineteen years ago)

She can't be that much of a "genuine" christian if she is really happy dating a professed athiest sexually active guy. The genuine, practicing christians I know - putting the sex before marriage thing aside - would have a great deal of trouble getting involved with someone if it wasnt leading to marriage eventually, and marrying someone who didn't share their faith. At the least, they would most likely expect you to convert, or at least subtly try to convert you, possibly. I'm talking full on daily practice bible study likely to maybe become a minister type christians here - not "yeah I go to church at xmas" people.

If you ignore all these clashes of belief, and lets say you get into a serious relationship, then marriage is the only end goal, so if you dont want that you're already in trouble, let alone the question of if her parents are even going to approve. If you keep on ignoring all the differences and you marry - then what? Our world beliefs are often the most fundamentally important thing about us. You could build a lifelong commitment on differences therein, but surely there'd be a hell of a lot of compromise and misery involved.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 2 April 2006 01:13 (nineteen years ago)

The sex issue is a red herring and kind of an aside. I met and dated a catholic guy for a while - but his life views werent "religious" in that way (he didnt openly pray or say "praise be" or say god spoke to him or anything silly; he drank, and all that jazz). But his one catholic "thing" was the virgin, savin' it till marriage thing.

After a few weeks of fun snoggy dates I had to tell him I couldn't keep this going, if I was to be honest with myself. It wasn't fair on him or me. He took it really well and we stayed friends. He stuck to his guns too, which I thought was great.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 2 April 2006 01:16 (nineteen years ago)

Anyways, I don't know if the unnamed girl I'm concerned about in this thread is actually Christian, virgin, and saving it for marriage. I know she's a Christian, she's also in her early 20's, very involved with Church activities, and is going to Atlanta this weekend to see a Christian rock group that is "just awesome." So knowing all that, I imagine the likelihood for virginity and saving-it-for-marriage are substantial. We've just gone out once now, so I've been wondering about that.

― Mickey (modestmickey), Sunday, 2 April 2006 01:19 (nineteen years ago)

Who knows what she's thinking? She may be posting on a Sufjan Stevens messageboard right now "Would you date somebody who seems like an interesting hipster but is not-Christian, atheist, and likes sex?"

― Mickey (modestmickey), Sunday, 2 April 2006 01:21 (nineteen years ago)

She may well be, heh. And think about it: if you were both going "umm gee is this really a good idea?" then maybe it isnt. Best prolly to nut that out now while it's still a casual thing. Well so say I, but I'm a bit of a cold pragmatist like that.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 2 April 2006 01:47 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah. I'm not really optimistic. Just curious what other people would have to say. Before I throw it away though, I need to find out more about her worldview.

― Mickey (modestmickey), Sunday, 2 April 2006 01:51 (nineteen years ago)

I agree. Thats way more impt for a long term thing than the sex issue.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 2 April 2006 01:57 (nineteen years ago)

A data point: I know of people who are quasi-religious, enjoy christian music festivals (of the youth variety) and were not virgins until marriage. Not at all virgins. One guy even pierced his nipples at a Christian rock fest. What sort of chuch activities are we talking about?

― mike h. (mike h.), Sunday, 2 April 2006 02:02 (nineteen years ago)

Some people totally pay lip service to the idea of xianity as teenagers, probably because of the group of friends they're with more than anything. I know - I was one of those kind of people.

Then they get laid and usually grow out of it.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 2 April 2006 02:06 (nineteen years ago)

mike, I really am not sure?

I think a big part of it may be an ethnic cultural thing. She's Romanian and goes to a Romanian Church, so I think a big part of it is for the community she doesn't find anywhere else. As far as actual activities, she just told me something about how her and the Church do "everything" -- "you name it." Who knows.

― Mickey (modestmickey), Sunday, 2 April 2006 02:10 (nineteen years ago)

admit it, she's transyvanian and these are weird vampire orgies at 'church'

― vlad! (mike h.), Sunday, 2 April 2006 02:11 (nineteen years ago)

Hey if its what she grew up with theres a chance - not a certainty tho as my still very religious cousins would attest - that she'll rebel against it or get tired of it as an adult.

Theres also a chance her parents are scary-strict, and who wants to mess with dat shit.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 2 April 2006 02:26 (nineteen years ago)

actually - she is a transylvanian

― Mickey (modestmickey), Sunday, 2 April 2006 04:58 (nineteen years ago)

Is she cool with the belly button piercing? This seems crucial.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Sunday, 2 April 2006 06:12 (nineteen years ago)

She's probably just saving it for the third date, so you don't think she's a whore.

― nickn (nickn), Sunday, 2 April 2006 06:59 (nineteen years ago)

i wouldn't date anyone who is saving for 'technical' virginity but give blowjobs, because that's the kind of weird minds that would put me off. that's like being veggie apart from beef. tee-total apart from gin.

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 2 April 2006 09:20 (nineteen years ago)

missing the point, i think is what springs to mind

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 2 April 2006 09:20 (nineteen years ago)

A cross upon her bedroom wall
From grace she will fall
An image burning in her mind
And between her thighs
A dying God-man full of pain
When will you cum again ?
Before him beg to serve or please
On your back or knees
There's no forgiveness for her sins
Prefers punishment ?
Would you suffer eternally
Or internally ?
For her lust
She'll burn in hell
Her soul done medium well
All through mass manual stimulation
Salvation
Body of Christ
She needs
The body of Christ
She'd like to know God
Ooh love God
Feel her God
Inside of here - deep inside of her
Jesus Christ looks like me

― latebloomer: a power and finesse vocalist (latebloomer), Sunday, 2 April 2006 14:23 (nineteen years ago)

Is she cool with the belly button piercing? This seems crucial.
-- Forksclovetofu (forksclovetof...) (webmail), April 2nd, 2006. (Forksclovetofu)

She doesn't know yet. That's more of a third date kind of thing.

― Mickey (modestmickey), Sunday, 2 April 2006 22:15 (nineteen years ago)

how many fourth dates do you get?

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 2 April 2006 22:21 (nineteen years ago)

― Mickey (modestmickey), Sunday, 2 April 2006 22:26 (nineteen years ago)

girls of ilx, get my back re: belly button rings plz :(

― Mickey (modestmickey), Sunday, 2 April 2006 22:27 (nineteen years ago)

get your back pierced, too

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 2 April 2006 22:39 (nineteen years ago)

In all seriousness, Esteban is the only one with anythng decent to say here. Maybe it's different in England or wherever U guys are from, but in America pretty much all "Christians" under 40 are deluded WWJD jesus freaks. Some things don't deserve a fair reassessment when you reach the mid-20s. Just don't bother!

― Baba Yaga, The Iron Hag (blastocyst), Sunday, 2 April 2006 22:42 (nineteen years ago)

And I mean Christianity is one thing but Christian Rock is a whole different animal.

― Baba Yaga, The Iron Hag (blastocyst), Sunday, 2 April 2006 22:43 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah for sure. Anyone who likes Stryper doesn't deserve a man, I'm sorry.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 2 April 2006 22:52 (nineteen years ago)

how about king's x?

― electric sound of jim (and why not) (electricsound), Sunday, 2 April 2006 22:58 (nineteen years ago)

how about sufjan stevens?

― j blount (papa la bas), Sunday, 2 April 2006 23:44 (nineteen years ago)

What it comes down to is: I couldn't be with someone who thought I was going to hell.

― emilys. (emilys.), Monday, 3 April 2006 01:47 (nineteen years ago)

Would you date somebody who is Christian, virgin, and saving it for marriage? (69 new answers, last at 12:47 pm)

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 3 April 2006 03:21 (nineteen years ago)

Would you date somebody who is Christian, virgin, and saving it for marriage? (69 new answers, last at 12:47 pm)

-- Andrew (n...), April 3rd, 2006 12:21 AM. (enneff) (later)

― Baba Yaga, The Iron Hag (blastocyst), Monday, 3 April 2006 04:34 (nineteen years ago)

The Romanian Church thing makes me think she might NOT be into the whole virgin/saving for marriage deal. Cultural churches make less of a deal about that kind of stuff than evangelical ones. I think, at least.

Also, re: handjobs, back when I was a virginal, saving-it-for-marriage Christian (now = none of those things), the girl I was dating (who felt the same way) got very good at handjobs. I didn't know how (relatively) good I had it, until I was with girls who had never learned how and pretty much damaged me by pulling and yanking and just... ouch!

― regular roundups (Dave M), Monday, 3 April 2006 05:01 (nineteen years ago)

I think you can probably guess what my answer would be. I'd never get past the first comma before saying no.

― Ed (dali), Monday, 3 April 2006 05:16 (nineteen years ago)

five years pass...

ok, i have a situation with a girl im seeing. i dont know if shes a virgin. but i suspect she might be, mainly as she seems to protest a little bit too much about it. i asked her if she was a virgin quite sensitively but she says no and seems to get a bit defensive about it so i cant bring it up again without looking like a nob. also, she doesnt like discussing anything to do with sex, and she has told me that she doesnt sleep with guys unless shes in love with them. does this sound like the words of a virgin? i didnt think she was at first due to her age - late 20s - so have been happy to take things slow but after several months now im unsure. wish she would talk to me about it but shes very guarded.

― titchy (titchyschneiderMk2), Monday, 30 May 2011 15:47 (fourteen years ago)

sounds like the words of someone who doesn't like sex

― Latham Green, Monday, 30 May 2011 15:49 (fourteen years ago)

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