Please pass the salsa!

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Last night, my wife and I had one of the worst experiences of our lives. In the middle of the night, five men broke into our home and made themselves at home. When I woke up this morning they had formed protest in my front yard, demanding to stay, suggesting I offer them a "Home Guest Worker" program.

In fact, they have now found an American Civil Liberties Union attorney and a willing, vote-hungry Congress to immediately overturn all state and federal laws against breaking and entering. The home invaders say they are willing to pay a $1,000 fine. They want to work for the next six years – as long as I allow them to stay in my home. At the end of the six years, they want me to make them permanent members of my family. Oh ... and they also want their names put on the title to the home. The home my wife and I worked and sacrificed for over the last 30 years.

I have tried to reason with them and politely ask them to leave and have attempted to make it clear we do not want them in our home unless we had invited them in. However, they keep chanting this line that all they are trying to do is make a better life for their families and children that they hope to birth while in my home uninvited.

They have been eating my food, using my medicine, and have taken over my library and television trying to get a quick education. I really hadn't figured these extra costs into my monthly budget, so I'm not sure how I'm going to pay for it all. Maybe I can get my neighbors to kick in a few bucks of their hard-earned money?

Welcome to the New America. The America where rule of law is no longer applicable. The America where illegal immigrants who claim they want to be part of the "democratic" process of America, yet drape themselves in Mexican flags, gather in mass disrupting the very country they claim to love. Apparently they have mistaken mob rule for democratic process. They have elected to ignore the Constitution that thousands before them have fought, bled and died for.

Let the chaos begin. We have clearly turned the asylum over to the patients.

Oh, by the way – seeing as the fellows who broke in have refused to leave, "Hector, please pass the salsa."

― Craig S., Monday, 3 April 2006 17:06 (twenty years ago)

But the yard has never looked better.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Monday, 3 April 2006 17:09 (twenty years ago)

Damn those congressional republicans.

always working in concert with the ACLU.

― kingfish ubermensch dishwasher sundae (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 3 April 2006 17:10 (twenty years ago)

ask a mexican!

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Monday, 3 April 2006 17:14 (twenty years ago)

can we get these things deleted please?

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 3 April 2006 17:16 (twenty years ago)

http://www.alpinersusa.com/images/Alpin4_01a.jpg
http://www.saintpatricksdayparade.com/south_carolina/gpic15.jpg

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Monday, 3 April 2006 17:17 (twenty years ago)

are we actually being spammed, or is some smartass just reposting them? just curious.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Monday, 3 April 2006 17:18 (twenty years ago)

Mmm, burritos.

― andy ---, Monday, 3 April 2006 17:20 (twenty years ago)

http://www.seoulshamrock.co.kr/wpe1.jpg

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 3 April 2006 17:23 (twenty years ago)

http://www.nyc.gov/html/records/images/lense/apr2.jpg

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 3 April 2006 17:25 (twenty years ago)

uh tracer im pretty sure all those people are white or asian

― ++++, Monday, 3 April 2006 17:26 (twenty years ago)

hell, if we have to get rid of the accordion players and men in skirts to keep america american, it's a price we'll have to pay.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Monday, 3 April 2006 17:27 (twenty years ago)

http://images.hamtramckstar.com/albums/Hamtramck/2005_07_02_BAA_Parade/dscf0669.jpg

― kingfish ubermensch dishwasher sundae (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 3 April 2006 17:31 (twenty years ago)

im glad they are here, so i dont have to troll right wing sites for them

― anthony easton (anthony), Monday, 3 April 2006 17:33 (twenty years ago)

Last night, my wife and I had one of the worst experiences of our lives. In the middle of the night, five men broke into our teepee and made themselves at home...

― Steve Shasta (Steve Shasta), Monday, 3 April 2006 17:34 (twenty years ago)

I've only recently discovered the pupusa from El Salvador. I had a cactus one on saturday that ruled, with cactus salsa.

― andy --, Monday, 3 April 2006 17:36 (twenty years ago)

pupusa??? HIDDEN AGENDA REVEALED

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Monday, 3 April 2006 17:46 (twenty years ago)

Wow, this story sounds a lot like lore passed down in my family. My great-great-grandfather had a very successful ranch in northern Mexico. Then all these white guys from the US started moving in the neigborhood. No biggie at first. Then they started calling the place "Texas" and declaring they were taking it away from Mexico.

Long story short they stole my great-great-grandfather's land, raped his daughters and sent him packing.

Assholes.

― Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Monday, 3 April 2006 17:59 (twenty years ago)

what with this and the President Bush prayer thread suddenly showing up today.. welcome to election season! in which coordinated under-the-radar campaigns send a completely different message to the GOP base than what you hear going on in the major media. I should start reading WorldNet daily myself just to keep tabs on what they're going to use this time around to get out the far right vote

― dar1a g (daria g), Monday, 3 April 2006 18:26 (twenty years ago)

it's kinda like scanning Drudge every once in a while, just to get a sense of what they're all on about that day

― kingfish ubermensch dishwasher sundae (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 3 April 2006 18:28 (twenty years ago)

try the Wall Street Journal, the editorialists are insane but at least they write intelligible sentences instead of spouting cliches.

― m coleman (lovebug starski), Monday, 3 April 2006 18:31 (twenty years ago)

http://alisavaldesrodriguez.blogspot.com/2006/03/how-stupid-are-us-media.html

― mike h. (mike h.), Monday, 3 April 2006 18:35 (twenty years ago)

I almost wrote a letter to the editor asking if these redneck fuckers whining about protesters waving the Mexican flag had a problem when someone flies the rebel flag.

Then I realized that I'd be writing a letter to the editor and I'm way too young for that.

― Big Willy and the Twins (miloaukerman), Monday, 3 April 2006 18:49 (twenty years ago)

SAHLSA or SOLSA???

― Rumpie (lil drummer girl parumpumpumpu), Tuesday, 4 April 2006 13:33 (twenty years ago)

http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B000056KPB.02.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 4 April 2006 13:38 (twenty years ago)

Whoa, guys, I had the worst night last night. I was sitting around on the internet, bored as usual, until my friend Jerry emails me this totally hilarious story about some undocumented immigrants breaking into this guy's home. The thing is, though, it's actually a very clever ANALOGY about illegal immigration in America, full of incredible detail and facts (not just the same old xenophobic white guy rhetoric you hear from your grandpa)! It has all these really funny parts about how ACLU laywers are un-American and how the only reason congress wants to support guest worker programs is because they want votes. Pff, yeah, like it's some sort of "democracy" where our elected officials "listen" to people and then "act" on what the "majority" of those people want. Ridiculous. Anyway yeah then the story goes on about how we can't afford to pay for these illegals' education when in actuality we can. It remembers to point out that Mexican immigrants eat all of our food, which is very true and important. It's also got this great part where the analogy suggests that the guy's HOUSE is exactly the same as THE ENTIRE NATION. It's so clever. I especially like how it manages to prove that it's totally hypocritical to associate with one country if you're living in another. Hahaha, morons who think you can just identify with any number of cultures whenever you want. Yeah right, stupid, everyone knows you can only like one flag. The story's so great, it even manages to wrap up with a genuine racist joke about salsa and how Mexicans love to eat it with their big Mexican mouths, which really rubs my funny bone cause I'm a gigantic racist asshole with no sense of humor! On an unrelated note, I most likely love to watch the O'Reilly Factor!

Of course, the story doesn't take in to account the services that undocumented workers provide for our country, but I'm not really too concerned about that aspect, because it's not hateful enough. Not to mention, I'm an idiot.

Anyway, time to post this dumb story on some random internet website I found!

― ath (ath), Tuesday, 4 April 2006 14:25 (twenty years ago)

i think i love you.

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 4 April 2006 14:26 (twenty years ago)

ok but let's focus on the bigots right now

― ath (ath), Tuesday, 4 April 2006 14:40 (twenty years ago)

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