SICKIE TIME

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A virulent stomach bug is sweeping the country - schools and hospitals first. It is very contagious but goes away in 48 hours. In other words while this epidemic is in the headlines you have CAST IRON SICKIE EXCUSE.

Do you take sickies? How often? Are you believed? What are your greatest and worst excuses?

― Tom, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I never take sickies. I do stay home if I'm sick, but I come into work unless I am nigh comatose. This is not because I am incredibly hardworking and love my job. It's because I'm a sap.

also, to take a day off work sick you have to phone in to say you're not coming, and I hate making phone calls, because I'm mad.

― DV, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Obviously now I am in college so it don't matter. But at work in the summer I went a bit mad with the sickies. My parents were away and since I had been working all summer I was loaded, so not only was I going out every night, I was having friends over every night too. And so I pulled a sickie twice in one week on a wednesday and a friday.

The funny part about the Wednesday was that I didn't wake till 3, so it was rather suss when I rang my boss at 5 past 3 saying "oh yeah I'm sick", and I think I would have been fired except as a result of my going out too much I got shingles the next week and then was actually sick and had a doctors note for that to explain it all away.

It was crap at work also because my boss would never be there so someone who was sound would answer the phone and go "oh that's fine, don't worry about it" and then your excuse making is left in their incapable hands.

― Ronan, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've almost never taken sickies in my working life (that old life, that I've left behind), not because I'm some Pete Baran/Damien Thorn superhuman vollkommene Maschine ("Jackal's blood?"), but because I used to get paid by the hour and couldn't bear the idea of pissing away cash due to some niggling headache or cough.

Naturally, last summer's chicken pox would've really put me out of commission for a while had I been employed at the time.

― Michael Jones, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

...actually, I've just remembered the prime example of my dollar- slave status and its hugely embarrassing consequences.

Day after my 26th birthday, when a quiet night in my room watching an X-Files repeat had somehow turned into a screaming blur of Southern Comfort, brandy, the Geto Boys and a hugely distressing episode with a French placement student named Brigitte, I somehow dragged my clothes on and went to work. By 10:30 I'd vomited into a coffee mug (perfectly up to the brim) and had to be driven home. Three years of being reminded of this incident at twice-weekly intervals takes its toll, so this was indirectly responsible for my move to London in '98.

― Michael Jones, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Last sickie I took was after my birthday two years ago, mainly because I was getting a bit annoyed of never being sick and I had a woman in my bed.

― Pete, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes Pete but SHE had been sick.

Whenever I take a sickie the evil karmic god of illness wreaks vengeance by making me get genuinely ill about 2 days later, at which point I can't take more sickies for a new illness for that would make me the World's Illest Person Evah. So I have stopped doing it.

― Emma, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i take too many. this year i am going to try and have NONE!

― gareth, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've got a huge amount of sick time -- I could literally take more than eight weeks off and still not have used it all. But I only use my call in sick excuses very sparingly, maybe once or twice over the last couple of years, and thankfully have had to stay home due to illness only once or twice as well. The advantage is that when I do want to take a day off and I call in ill, it's not questioned -- handy for things like renewing licenses or getting the cable installed or the like.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I never get really sick but sometimes I stay home because I'm a nervous wreck and then that day my guilt over it makes me physically sick. No one cares when I do because I keep my average up. I want to be actually sick so I can feel gooood about feeling bad.

― Maria, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I took two days off once in 1999...I was too fed up with misery and drudgery...made the decision to go and do an MA! yay!

― jel, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

In the first term of college I took the entire last week of when I realised I had a 100% record in every subject. Eek.

― Graham, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I never take sickies, I've had about 4 days off in 17 years work.

Partly because I'm uncomfortable at the idea of doing so, and would then stay in the house all day so to assuage my guilt, but also because I work on a tightly run shift roster, if someone goes sick it screws it up for everyone else. Having said that one of my colleagues went sick this morning with the dreaded bug Tom refers to, so it's highly likely I may get it in the next few days.

― Billy Dods, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

five months pass...

calling in sick rocks!!! I HATE WORK!!!

― jeff, Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I rarely pull sickies as I'm one of the fortunate few who enjoys their work. However I've gone from having a cast-iron immune system to having more days off in the last year than, well, ever. Which is worrying.

― Matt, Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...

I took a half sick day today! my stomach started hurting last night and it's better but it still kinda hurts now. I've never called in sick when I wasn't but lately my threshold has been dropping a little.

I want your spectacular sickie stories, like calling in sick and then going to the afternoon ball game or something.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

um, calling in sick while in the middle of a two day drung binge from the bathroom at my dealer's house?

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

okay, that definitely rates.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I think Sam has already won!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

it was not a high point in my life, trust me.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

i call out sick when i am run down and depressed so i end up sitting around my apartment. boring.

― kephm, Tuesday, 6 April 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah well that's standard sick time for me, not spectacular.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I jus didnt feel like a-workin' today

(actually my back still hurts and i have a stinkin cold but should be ok for tomorrow)

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 6 April 2004 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I'm going to take another half day today.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 11:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm rubbish at taking sick days, I keep talking myself out of it. "Yeah, I think I've got a cold, but I might be better a bit later, if I see a doctor, see you after lunch!"

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 12:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow Sam, you're so cool. I hope when I grow up I can be just like you.

― Sophie Ellis Bextor Birney, Wednesday, 7 April 2004 12:43 (twenty-one years ago)

teeny some people in UK go "on the sick" for YEARS at a time.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 12:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Kate, back the fuck up. Why not chill out for a bit instead of picking fights?

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 12:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, none of my business. Please ignore my last comment.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 12:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha does it matter?!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 13:15 (twenty-one years ago)

teeny some people in UK go "on the sick" for YEARS at a time.

yeh, i used to wonder about people like that until i became one.
14 months & counting....

― zappi (joni), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 13:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Markelby, back the fuck up. Why not chill out for a bit instead of picking fights?

― Sophie Ellis Baxter Birney, Wednesday, 7 April 2004 14:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Fair comment.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 14:29 (twenty-one years ago)

how odd

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 14:30 (twenty-one years ago)

i did once call out of work while getting a blow job

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 14:31 (twenty-one years ago)

You are the Bill Clinton of our generation.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 14:32 (twenty-one years ago)

You were getting a blow job at work? Was it taxable?

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 14:33 (twenty-one years ago)

i was smoking a big cartoonish cigar and twirling my billionaire's moustache as i did so

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

he can withold like it's going out of style.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 14:35 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.wtv-zone.com/dpjohnson/beautyandthebouffant/yvonneromain.jpg
"mmm, yes, that's it right there, top hummer, pip pip."

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

update: still at work.

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

apparantly miss baxter missed my follow-up post:

it was not a high point in my life, trust me.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 14:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I did, and many more like it besides, hence my original comment.

― Sophie Ellis Baxter Birney, Thursday, 8 April 2004 08:28 (twenty-one years ago)

WEIRD!

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 8 April 2004 09:53 (twenty-one years ago)

six months pass...

I am off sick today, I have a cold, if I move I cough. I went to work yesterday, and sat around in my coat all day looking pathetic! The heating isn't on, so it was freezing.

So far I've read X-Men "Days of Future Past".

I hope I am better by tomorrow, as I'm planning to go and see "Some Kind of Monster".

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 10:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I am ill, my head hurtz so much, never had anything like it. Don't want to go home sick though coz I've only just started here and I'm still on probabtion...oh wait, hang on, my probation ends today...even worse, GOT to stay now...ouch.

― smee (smee), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 10:38 (twenty-one years ago)

four months pass...

Sick sick sick BLEAH! Not too bad -- sore throat, headache, a bit of stuffiness -- so hopefully it will get no worse. Still though, BLEAH! Am home and listening to a Shellac session, presumably to shock the sick out of my system.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 17:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I called in sick yesterday! I wasn't sick at all, I just didn't feel like riding a fucking train at 6 am just to show up at my office and do nothing for 8 hours. Now some bozo who's not above me is breathing down my neck about a document I already wrote and have been waiting on comments on for two weeks. He can totally go fuck himself! I shouldn't have shown up today either! Sickies RULE.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 17:46 (twenty-one years ago)

the temperature ain't exactly rising/ the fever ain't high...
but the temperature that's so far refusing to leave & running nose & a kinda developing coughin' all together maketh my being definitely sick nevertheless. otoh, gulping coldrex and watching snooker on the telly at home is otherwise fine, but then again none else than me has gotta do my radio shows anyhow. and all this bus'ing & walking to and from the radio, while moderately fevered, is no fun :(

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

...STILL no fun. and i gotta get going in a coupla hours, bleh.

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm sick as a dog. And I had the worst of it at the weekend, unfortunately, so I've only had two days off work. I shouldn't really be back but I was so BORED at home oh and I am convinced I'm indispensable of course.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Still home and still sick, though improving.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Aw Arch. Hot lemon? And poor tiit! I feel rudely healthy, now the headache engendered from being on the phone with an offensive idiot has been supressed with drugs.

xpost keep up the fight Ned.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I went in for an hour and then told everyone I needed to take my dog to the vet.

Little do they know that "take my dog to the vet" is slang for "go to the record store."

― adam (adam), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned, HUGGELZ, hope you get better soon (i can because there's a germ free screen in between us! hurrah!).

Why do people say "sick as a dog"?

I sometimes stay in for an hour. Not much longer as I manage the shop. :-(

― stevie nixed (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:43 (twenty-one years ago)

One of the great things about "Kelvin Parade" is how Alasdair sounds like he has a cold. Makes you just want to run up with blankets and lemon tea.

― youn, Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

i was home for a month it sucks.

― Big Baby Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned, HUGGELZ, hope you get better soon (i can because there's a germ free screen in between us! hurrah!).

Yay! No evil germ-spreading!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey, Yay-Man - would'ya a-have my surplus germs, then? They're all soooooooo beign, honest!

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 17:04 (twenty-one years ago)

(soooooooooo --n---)
(a benign sneeze threw me offa me printing groove upper there)

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 17:10 (twenty-one years ago)

everyone here at work is sick except me! phear!

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 17:10 (twenty-one years ago)

*phears!*
(benignly)

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 17:11 (twenty-one years ago)

SIKCIE FOR THA BOYZ

― RANDOS, Wednesday, 16 February 2005 17:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Dogdamn this silly turn of events.
Now the temperature's rising, now the fever is high.
Exactly when my daughter dropped in at my place for the weekend.
And only at noon everything had seemed going for the better.
HUGELY disapPOINTED!

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 18 February 2005 23:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I just had chickenpox. Went back to work after a week and a bit off and almost collapsed in the office so they told me to go back home till I was recovered.

I'm OK now, but hadn't felt so sick for so long for ages. Not fun.

― Snnap Dragon (snnap dragon), Saturday, 19 February 2005 00:14 (twenty-one years ago)

i had asthma sickie! i took two days but not in a row. being in smoke-filled room all night does not help curb symptoms.

...er, smoke filled room is actually At Work, not living high life in smoky club.

hope i get better before next week, otherwise Paris with Kate will suck.

― Catty (Catty), Saturday, 19 February 2005 06:53 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

I am off sick today with a cold. I kinda like having a few days off to get better, the world feels all new when you go outside again. I don't understand the get better quickly culture. I've watched too much Star Trek today.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 14:57 (twenty years ago)

I want to chuck a sickie tomorrow. 30 schoolkids are coming for a 'taster' day at the university, and if there's one thing I hate it's talking to big groups of teenagers. Perhaps if I claim to have mumps nobody will be suspicious?

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 14:03 (twenty years ago)

Haha, Archel, be glad you're not at my university, where we have a Summer Academy that runs in two-week cycles all summer long! One dares not enter the stairwells during this time, for fear of discovering pashing kids.

― Madchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 14:11 (twenty years ago)

um, calling in sick while in the middle of a two day drung binge from the bathroom at my dealer's house?
-- Ask For Samantha (...), April 6th, 2004.
....

it was not a high point in my life, trust me.

ha ha. Or was it?? j/k Get it? High??

I hate everyone who comes to work sick because my immune system sucks so I always get whatever walks by my desk. I had this season's flu a few weeks ago, but I STILL have the same cold I had then.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 14:16 (twenty years ago)

Haha Madchen. But I can't tell the difference between schoolchildren and 18-year-old freshers anyway. They are all the same annoying, slightly scary, expensively-dressed little ants to me...

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 5 April 2005 14:20 (twenty years ago)

six months pass...

We ain't allowed 'mental health' days or anything like that in my place and my boss is a big fan of just 'getting on with it'.

Looking back on my past record I've only had one day sick this year and that's when I was taken home after vomiting.

I'd like to take tomorrow off and have some meeee time, I fear the deep dark depression may be coming back.

I need some kind of excuse to call in sick for one day, so colds and coughs are out. I'm no good at a sick voice either.

Any help would be appreciated!

― Rumpie, Wednesday, 2 November 2005 12:54 (twenty years ago)

Nausea? Allergy? Sinus trouble? "Family emergency"? Sick pet? Car trouble?

― salexander / sofia (salexander), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 13:10 (twenty years ago)

TEH SHITS

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 13:16 (twenty years ago)

you went mental and drove all the way to dundee in your bare feet

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 13:18 (twenty years ago)

I think the only workable one out of those would be nausea - I would be required to back any of the other ones up - this is one of those places where everybody knows everybody elses business. I get the bus to work. It's only ten mins away :-(

The shits... hmmm. That's the default, huh?

― Rumpie, Wednesday, 2 November 2005 13:19 (twenty years ago)

Ken - I heart you.

― Rumpie, Wednesday, 2 November 2005 13:20 (twenty years ago)

x post

Yes. Who's going to seriously enquire into your bowel movements?

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 13:20 (twenty years ago)

True. I have sweaty palms just worrying about calling in.

― Rumpie, Wednesday, 2 November 2005 13:24 (twenty years ago)

I hate phone calls too, especially phoning-in-sick ones. But you know in the end that going in when you're feeling way down is gonna be hugely counterproductive, yeah?

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 13:26 (twenty years ago)

Anyone claimed bird flu as a reason for a day off yet?

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

why don't you just take it as ordinary leave and avoid putting yourself through the worry mill?

― Bob Six (bobbysix), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 13:31 (twenty years ago)

do you live near the sea?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 13:31 (twenty years ago)

http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B000002TQV.02.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 13:32 (twenty years ago)

Anyone claimed bird flu as a reason for a day off yet?

that is reserved for the month-long sickie.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 13:33 (twenty years ago)

I live about thirty miles from the sea.

I was thinking tomorrow but it's rather short notice to take annual leave. If I ask for a hol and don't get it then calling in sick is gonna look rather bad.

I'd like to go to the zoo for my day off. And buy a balloon. And spend hours looking at the monkeys. It would make me feel so much better.

― Rumpie, Wednesday, 2 November 2005 13:36 (twenty years ago)

The thing is, any boss who believes in "just getting on with it" is a benighted tosser and probably acting illegally. If you're suffering with mental illness and you avoid reporting it and take leave days when you're feeling sick then you're enabling somebody's shitty employment practice. (Though I know pragmatically it's a tempting thing to do.)

When I lost it big time I was lucky enough to have very supportive employers (well, some of them). They insisted I reported sick days due to depression as exactly that.

I'm sorry, I know this don't help yr current situation Rumpie. I was just sounding off to the world in general.

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 13:36 (twenty years ago)

Oh, and I hope you feel better soon. Monkeys are graet :)

― Patchouli Clark (noodle vague), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 13:37 (twenty years ago)

I've had 11 1/2 days sick in the last few weeks due to particularly nasty flu bug. I'm still waiting for the back to work interview to see what kind of shit i'm in as they're bastards in the civil service when it comes to your sick record even if you do have medical certificates.

― leigh (leigh), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 14:14 (twenty years ago)

cystitis (sp)

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Wednesday, 2 November 2005 14:16 (twenty years ago)

Aw, thanks Patchouli.

I avoided reporting the depression when I started here because things were going really really well for me. My boss is aware of my past problems, A.D withdrawal etc, because I broke down once for no apparent reason. The worse thing about it all was having to explain it to her. I've been pretty much fine for the past year though, I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed at the mo.

I'd hate to bring it back up again and have to listen to her ill informed unwanted advice.

― Rumpie, Wednesday, 2 November 2005 14:23 (twenty years ago)

four months pass...

DDT did a job on me
now i am a real sickie

― Shelly Winters Death Clip (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 13:40 (twenty years ago)

I tried to do a sickie on Friday because I had a job interview, though finally I managed to come to work and tweaked some other pretty believable excuse.

The sickie was based on stomach bug gastroenteritis, as there were a couple of people actually ill at the office. Well, I went to a wedding on Saturday and the bug started to work on me right at the party!

― olenska (olenska), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 14:51 (twenty years ago)

i took a sick day today but someone still called me with a series of work-related questions. uggh i have headache + runny nose + cough + laryngitis i think.

― Shelly Winters Death Clip (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 21:59 (twenty years ago)

I threw a full on "nothing is wrong with me" sickie y'day. I've *been* sick all week but been at work so it looked ok.

I spent the entire day playing The Movies on my PC. I am ashamed of myself. Mind you, I did also do a lot of my work at home, in fact I got more of it done than I would have in the office, even with my movie sim playing - go figure. Wish they'd let me telecommute.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 23:33 (twenty years ago)

I took a sickie today because I got smacked in the fucking face by 100kg of big guy at gridiron training last night and I have shitty hayfever today.

― Mike Stuchbery (Mike Stuchbery), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 23:38 (twenty years ago)

two years pass...

LOL I HAVE STOLEN A DAY FROM WESTERN CAPITALISM...

A MIGRAINE I SAID...A MIGRAINE!!!

― Local Garda, Monday, 13 October 2008 10:22 (seventeen years ago)

ur sick

― rizzx, Monday, 13 October 2008 18:45 (seventeen years ago)

Migraines are bad,..,.,.,,

― Abbott, Monday, 13 October 2008 22:03 (seventeen years ago)

i think i'm sick but i don't know what it is. i'll skip at least my most boring class.

― lil yawne (harbl), Tuesday, 14 October 2008 12:15 (seventeen years ago)

Can't argue with someone claiming to have a migraine though...

― Neil S, Tuesday, 14 October 2008 12:21 (seventeen years ago)

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