Will I see my ex's in heaven?

Would you know my name?
If I nailed you in Heaven?

follow-up: Will I See My Ex's In Hell?

In heaven you will see them as God sees them - ie., you will see their inner spiritual beauty.

it's heaven. it'll be okay. stop james bonding it

And the plural of ex would be exs. You see why we install the apostrophe, nobody would know what the fuck exs is.

My grandmother is buried in a plot that is between her second and third husbands'.

Please clearly pluralize 'Hi' without the apostrophe and I'll shut up.

They know it's wrong, but it's SO SO right.

Simon sez it won't be the fun if it's true.

Chorus:
All my ex’s live in texas
And texas is the place I’d dearly love to be
But all my ex’s live in texas
And that’s why I hang my hat in tennessee

Rosanna’s down in texarkana
Wanted me to push her broom
Sweet eileenõs in abilene
She forgot I hung the moon
And allisonõs in galveston
Somehow lost her sanity
And dimpleõs who now lives in temple’s
Got the law looking for me

Chorus

I remember that old frio river
Where I learned to swim
But it brings to mind another time
Where I wore my welcome thin
By transcendental meditation
I go there each night
But I always come back to myself
Long before daylight

All my ex’s live in texas
And texas is the place I’d dearly love to be
But all my ex’s live in texas
Therefore I reside in tennessee

Some folks think I’m hidin’
It’s been rumored that I died
But I’m alive and well in tennessee

hi = his

This should've been " 'box,' 'ask' or 'fix'" and it would've been better.

andy, "hi" ain't nohow a noun, it's a fucking interjection.

*helloes?

WA HA HA AHA HA AHA HA HAH ... bububububullububaabubllub.

I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO A LITTLE THING CALLED "COLLOQUIAL SPEECH"

"And we all said our a-hoi hois!"

xpost haha dammit jim brainleak ;)

dude, what is this? You never use apostrophes for plurals, unless you are WRONG. Anyway, everyone knows the plural of "ex" is "exen".

pretty much

and if it’s bad for your well-being to see and talk to her, you can say that, too

lads

― El Tomboto, Sunday, 3 September 2017 04:15 (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Gets it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sPHnotbSzo

this is one of the reasons it's better to go to hell

if i see my exes in heaven i'll have to start seriously thinking about whether i'm actually in heaven at all tbh

Tragic waste that the OP wasn't posted to Ask A Drunk.

this is one of the reasons it's better to go to hell

if seeing your exes is painful for you then wouldn't they be in hell?

Presumably the exes you see in your heaven aren't actually them because that would open the possibility of preclusion of their own heavenly preferences

NB another reason Kant is a barrel of old shite

thanks everyone

what spurred her saying she would call is she thought she saw me wearing green pants

unfortunately she doesn't know me that well it seems because I would never wear something like that :-/ anyways she's pretty flaky so I'm not going to take this one too seriously

no exes in heaven bc heaven is entirely incorporeal. yes exes after resurrection of the dead tho.

Ah ffs

Makes you wonder why you even bothered killing them in the first place

I didn't think heaven/hell were personalised for each individual, that seems very solipsistic

How can they deliver as advertised otherwise tho!

yes, you will see them

you will bang so much

it'll be great

in heaven the post breakup sex lasts for as long as you want it to and it is always great

I didn't think heaven/hell were personalised for each individual, that seems very solipsistic

All of human conflict is based on misunderstanding; in heaven all of these misunderstandings, deriving from ego, will have vanished and thus we will all be ecstastic living according to the Truth, which we will have finally uncovered. So everyone will want the same things.

It's pretty lame.

They

They all derive from ego?

All of them?

And they're all

They're all just misunderstandings?

Sounds like a sink is being hooded tbh

A wink ffs

All yr exes will have got together and decided what kind of person you are.

And will generate a presentation called "This Was Your Life"

> what spurred her saying she would call is she thought she saw me wearing green pants

i had this, only it was a moustache.

I can't wait to catch up with my exes in heaven. I've deleted them off facebook so I'm curious to hear what they've been up to.

daniel's take is more in line with my own understanding; in order to be 'with god' you have to shed all the imperfections of your mortal form including your desires and feelings towards your exes. you have no say in heaven whatsoever; it's the ultimate indignity.

it's almost like heaven is a bullshit concept made up to help people deny the finality of death

yeah that's right i'm hardmanning heaven, god can take me to court if i'm wrong

I think that was the crucial choice with heaven and hell - either you rage eternally in the fires of your own consciousness or you dissolve your person into the warm bath of the godhead. you don't get to have exes in heaven, everyone is part of an undivided parmenidean whole.

this is also what most materialist atheists believe too though more or less; your brief period of conscious life is a little wrinkle in the cosmos that is ironed out at your death. you can't have an ex once your energies and atoms are spread across the universe. only hell really allows for the persistence of exes beyond the grave.

Look

If we're talking what one will actually experience after death I'm out before we get ppl attacking *~atheists~*

Heaven obv imo sold as not-this, but the not-this advertised definitely calls for ogmor's process to occur, be it a surrendering of all the elements presumed to cause differences between individuals in life or be it a mass lobotomy.

Essentially it gives me the same pause my economics teacher did on day one when he says "first assume infinite food" and I immediately started edging for the door

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assume_a_can_opener

That's the one, but the infinity also tugged at my ballstrings

otoh if they were laid end-to-end they'd not get in to heaven

If we're talking what one will actually experience after death I'm out before we get ppl attacking *~atheists~*

I don't think anyone is doing this.

Heaven obv imo sold as not-this, but the not-this advertised definitely calls for ogmor's process to occur, be it a surrendering of all the elements presumed to cause differences between individuals in life or be it a mass lobotomy.

In a way I think the main promise of heaven is that everything will finally make sense. And while x-ianity isn't as gung-ho about pointing out this means a collective universal consciousness (and thus loss of individual ego) as some Eastern religions it is pretty heavily implied, imo.

Not suggesting anyone was doing it but they're out there mannnn

It's definitely implied re "don't worry it'll be groovy man" it's just heavily reliant on a number of trippy assumptions once you like them up

Line

the weird thing about seeing my exes in Heaven is that none of them are dead

also how can there be ILX in Heaven....

no this doesn't add up at all!

Oh ilx heaven existed

is Wrinklepaws in heaven

Ole wrink is with ole nick imo

your exes are all in heaven and the ones you want to sleep with you all want to. as well, anybody else who is in heaven who wants you to sleep with them, you want to, even if you don't right now. heaven maintains individual consciousness but desires enter a hyperfluid plasma state where our consciousness's attachment to things we want and don't want dissolves, and so at any given instant you desire whatever it is that would fulfill the desires of others. since time is infinitely extended this it easy enough to accommodate even multiple independent desires (in the same way that the infinite set of all whole numbers can be divided to form the half-as-large infinite set of odd numbers - heaven permits second-to-second microscheduling of fulfilling the desires of others). you also don't have a fixed physical body besides wings and a halo obv so this too transforms continually as needed. if someone made it into heaven whose dream it is that you will sleep with them for a thousand years and your hands and feet are replaced with the heads of snails, you will want that too and it will happen. this is basic sunday school stuff guys cmon.

Fuckin stalinist

either you rage eternally in the fires of your own consciousness or you dissolve your person into the warm bath of the godhead. you don't get to have exes in heaven, everyone is part of an undivided parmenidean whole.

this more or less lines up w/ my theological convictions as well

the film "the end of evangelion" paired with the final episode of the related tv show gets across a lot of the essential points for me. dissolution of ego into unconditional love (admittedly in this case distributed by a clone of a strangled 14-year-old girl who's merged with a giant seven-eyed monster but still) simultaneous with the resolution of all the most heartfelt needs of that ego ("congratulations").

but still, he says

yeah, so she ended up calling today. Pretty casual, didn't last more than 10 minutes. "Nice to hear your voice" but yeah, the ship has sailed. so yeah just a well being call a suggested above

she did have the audacity to say how did we not watch twin peaks together? which i thought was just cruel

she said this to you, and she's engaged. and she probably knows that there is some part of you still in love w her. great work, ex-gf, really fine job there.

she did have the audacity to say how did we not watch twin peaks together? which i thought was just cruel

― Week of Wonders (Ross)

The absolute AUDACITY of the woman.

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! wtf Ross ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

lads

― El Tomboto, Sunday, 3 September 2017 04:15 (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Gets it

― passé aggresif (darraghmac), Sunday, 3 September 2017 07:55 (four days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Sorry Emily, that was terrible word choice on my part. We've been talking peaks since it aired via text and she mentioned that during a pivotal touching scene. Made me feel like it was a missed opp but that's life