Teh Grand National

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Normally, on the rare occasions I venture into a bookies, I feel hopelessly out of place amidst the air of desperation from the hardened gamblers. I feel that by popping in for one minute, making a £2 bet on a football match, and then GOING SOMEWHERE ELSE and getting on with my life, I am in some way mocking them and it makes me feel uncomfortable. But tomorrow is that once a year day when Teh General Public queue up in their droves, and I get all giddy and start making punts of FIVE POUNDS.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/other_sports/horse_racing/4849444.stm

I know nothing about horse racing, but my trusted technique is to bet on the second favourite and put an each way bet on a rank outsider with a nice name. I have yet to reap the dividends from this method.

Teh HoBBler (the pirate king), Friday, 7 April 2006 12:11 (twenty years ago)

Oh Jeez, it's tomorrow, haven't "studied the form" or anythin'

Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 7 April 2006 12:14 (twenty years ago)

sweepstake at work I got "Le Roi Miguel", which is a total dead loss from what I can make out.

is Hedgehunter the second favourite this time?

Ste (Fuzzy), Friday, 7 April 2006 12:16 (twenty years ago)

This year I might break with tradition, and go for the ones where the jockeys have the best-looking tops: Haut de Gamme and Le Roi Miguel.

Teh HoBBler (the pirate king), Friday, 7 April 2006 12:17 (twenty years ago)

Ha ha, yes well that's worked for me before - in the sense that I've chosen between horses on the basis of their colours having green in them

Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 7 April 2006 12:20 (twenty years ago)

I got Lord Of Illusion in the work sweep, I feel this is a good omen in the week that Celtic secured the SPL title.

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41516000/gif/_41516862_lord_of_illusion.gif

Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 7 April 2006 12:21 (twenty years ago)

test

Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 7 April 2006 12:27 (twenty years ago)

Green, of course, being probably the most popular racing colours! So, Lord of Illusion, tell me more...

Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 7 April 2006 12:27 (twenty years ago)

One of the more talented outsiders. Found the competition too hot when down the field in last month's Cheltenham Gold Cup.

Might be worth an each way punt and hope a few of the better horses take a tumble.

Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 7 April 2006 12:34 (twenty years ago)

I got Hedgehunter in the sweep. He's second favourite - woo!!

indolent girl (indolent girl), Friday, 7 April 2006 12:34 (twenty years ago)

Though 25/1 isn't long enough to be a stupid bet outsider and isn't short enough to put real money on.

xpost

Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 7 April 2006 12:35 (twenty years ago)

Prices can change

Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 7 April 2006 12:37 (twenty years ago)

There's also Le Duc running in green and white
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41525000/gif/_41525848_le_duc2.gif

33/1 and it's had two places already over the National fences (it says on the beeb, don't want people thinking I know what Im talking about or anything.

Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 7 April 2006 12:37 (twenty years ago)

Joes Edge and Haut de Gamme, ridden by George Formby and Norman Wisdom.

PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Friday, 7 April 2006 13:12 (twenty years ago)

I keep hearing people say "Lord of Illusion" and it takes a second or so to realise it's a horse.

PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Friday, 7 April 2006 13:33 (twenty years ago)

That's what he wants you to think.

Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 7 April 2006 13:34 (twenty years ago)

I keep hearing people say "Lord of Illusion"

So what you're saying is that the word on the street is to put yer shirt on Lord of Illusion?

Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 7 April 2006 13:36 (twenty years ago)

It should be banned, making horses run around and jump big fences for no other reason than people making money.

not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Friday, 7 April 2006 13:45 (twenty years ago)

What else do you suggest these horses do with their lives?

Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 7 April 2006 13:54 (twenty years ago)

http://www.funnyhub.com/pictures/img/donkey-cart.jpg

Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 7 April 2006 13:58 (twenty years ago)

JUMP!

http://www.yourspacenow.com/img/animated183.gif

Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 7 April 2006 13:59 (twenty years ago)

http://www.steel-pier.com/Diving_Horse_2.jpg

Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 7 April 2006 13:59 (twenty years ago)

Right. The deed is done. I've just been to William Hill. As I entered a man shouted 'fucking cunt, fucking wanker' but it seems unlikely it was directed at me, as he followed it up with 'just fucking died, fucking nowhere!'. He intercepted me on my way to the counter and said 'shoulda done what the missus said, innit?'. I thought it prudent to agree. Then he said 'what did the missus say?'. This stumped me a bit. 'Not to come here?' I ventured. He laughed a lot. Having brought a little joy into the world I pushed past and handed over my £8, that's £2 each way on Le Duc and Haut de Gamme. You heard it here first: they cannot fail - the jockeys have nice tops.

Teh HoBBler (the pirate king), Friday, 7 April 2006 14:22 (twenty years ago)

My William Hill account keeps locking up, can'tget my bet on, fuckers. I hate going into an actual bookies.

Onimo (GerryNemo), Saturday, 8 April 2006 10:35 (twenty years ago)

it was really slow for us, but it did go through eventually

Vicky (Vicky), Saturday, 8 April 2006 10:39 (twenty years ago)

I hate going into an actual bookies.

I can't imagine why. I had a whale of a time.

Teh HoBBler (the pirate king), Saturday, 8 April 2006 10:41 (twenty years ago)

I am going to a real actual bookies in about half an hour. Go me. Being a girl, I am going for meaningful names. I shall reveal all when I win gazillions of cash (not likely, since I only have about £5 to gamble with).

ailsa (ailsa), Saturday, 8 April 2006 11:42 (twenty years ago)

Can you do like a 3-way accumulator and win gazillions?

Markelby (Mark C), Saturday, 8 April 2006 12:03 (twenty years ago)

Being a girl, I am going for meaningful names.

So, you're going for First Gold. Good luck.

Loads of great ones in this list here, like Winning Glory and Sure Thing.

^_^

StanM (StanM), Saturday, 8 April 2006 12:51 (twenty years ago)

Gah. Shoulda done what the missus said, innit.

Teh HoBBler (the pirate king), Saturday, 8 April 2006 14:34 (twenty years ago)

No, I went for Ross Comm (Ross = maiden name) and Just in Debt (as in my financial situation).

One of my donkeys caused the false start and I'd lost interest in the race as a whole by the sixth. Bah.

ailsa (ailsa), Saturday, 8 April 2006 15:09 (twenty years ago)

Had the winner : )

The owner is a friend of my dad's, I couldn't think of any other horse to bet on plus it looked a good shot so I put 15 euro on it at 11-1 : )

Ronan (Ronan), Saturday, 8 April 2006 16:53 (twenty years ago)

pah!

Ste (Fuzzy), Saturday, 8 April 2006 17:24 (twenty years ago)

Turned the sound up as they approached The Elbow and couldn't understand why the commentator kept saying "Number 6, Val Verde" when it was clearly wearing some other number...

My sweepstake selection is already on its way to Ryman as a carton of Pritt-sticks.

Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Saturday, 8 April 2006 18:20 (twenty years ago)

double x-post. so where was the tip ronan? actually i had £10 on numbersixvalverde with betfred who gave a 100% bonus for opening a web account, so a nice £220 all told. added to that was a £10 freebet from totalbet on mon mome at 17-2 and another £10 on asian maze at 4-1. my only loser was kicks for free in the bumper who came 3rd after looking like the winner. best day ever!

michael wells (michael w.), Monday, 10 April 2006 13:44 (twenty years ago)

£3 e/w on Cornish Rebel + £3 e/w on Nil Desperandum = £15.75 profit = paid for a round of drinks on Saturday night!

Si.C@rter (SiC@rter), Monday, 10 April 2006 16:15 (twenty years ago)

I texted you dude, did you not get it?

Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 10 April 2006 16:23 (twenty years ago)

no i didn't, weird. ah well, it all turned out well in the end eh?

michael wells (michael w.), Monday, 10 April 2006 18:29 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

I might put a tenner on this horse called 'Bar' at 20-1. Bound to be a winner.

James Mitchell, Thursday, 3 April 2008 12:20 (eighteen years ago)

I think the 20-1 Bar is the refreshments stall at Aintree. Trying to decide who's got the best looking top:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/other_sports/horse_racing/7310650.stm

Nasty, Brutish & Short, Friday, 4 April 2008 11:56 (eighteen years ago)

I would like a horsey to win.

Michael Jones, Friday, 4 April 2008 12:22 (eighteen years ago)

A quick trawl through the list of previous winners suggests you'll be in luck.

Nasty, Brutish & Short, Friday, 4 April 2008 12:24 (eighteen years ago)

Tony McCoy to finally get his first national win on Butler's Cabin. Currently available at 16/1.

onimo, Friday, 4 April 2008 12:30 (eighteen years ago)

I haven't won any money on the National since Corbiere in '83. Not a peep about a sweepstake here - everyone's too obsessed with ploughing our (frequent, small) Euromillions winnings back into the pot.

Michael Jones, Friday, 4 April 2008 12:45 (eighteen years ago)

i got Mckelvey in our sweep, not bad odds.

Ste, Friday, 4 April 2008 13:28 (eighteen years ago)

balls. i had 4th and 5th.

Upt0eleven, Saturday, 5 April 2008 16:31 (eighteen years ago)

had butlers cabin, point barrow, and backbeat.

no food for me this week.

Ronan, Saturday, 5 April 2008 16:45 (eighteen years ago)

eleven months pass...

so who have you backed?

put a tenner on "my will" and fiver each way on "darkness"

Local Garda, Saturday, 4 April 2009 12:44 (seventeen years ago)

I love the Grand National but I have chosen "Darkness"

Local Garda, Saturday, 4 April 2009 12:48 (seventeen years ago)

I've called the winner four times. I called "Silver Birch" on a Facebook forum thread half an hour before the race at 33-1. On nothing more than a whim. Didn't put any money on.

Zayatte Mondatta (country matters), Saturday, 4 April 2009 12:48 (seventeen years ago)

I was working in the bookies the year the IRA bomb threat caused the postponement, that was a real pain in the arse. Because it was like working two GN days when they re-run it on Monday.

calzino, Saturday, 15 April 2023 17:07 (two years ago)

eleven months pass...

Roi Mage in the sweep at work, outside chance for a place i think

tempted to have 5 each way on Mahler Mission, the name helps :D

Bitchin Doutai (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 13 April 2024 07:19 (two years ago)

as an addled numerologist who can't be bothered properly studying form anymore, I'm going for 40/1 shot, Stattler because I believe in the mystic power of the number nine. Also I respect this horse for pulling up in the gold cup, maximum respect to horses that don't gaf about big races!

vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Saturday, 13 April 2024 08:00 (two years ago)

obvious pick but corach rambler won so easily last year and his 3rd in the Gold Cup would suggest he's still well in at the weights despite being a stone higher than in 2023.

also on Panda Boy antepost at 40-1, galia des liteaux EW at 50-1, Mahler Mission EW at 16s and a cheeky fiver on Meetingofthewaters. Oh and backed Nassalam when it looked like the ground would be heavy after backing him when he won the Welsh National by 34 lengths but he's drifted in the betting like he lost a leg

or something, Saturday, 13 April 2024 09:26 (two years ago)

i had had a look at Stattler too, A P McCoy was bigging up all of Willie Mullins's entries on the radio last night

Bitchin Doutai (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 13 April 2024 09:30 (two years ago)

it feels a slightly dull fact nowadays tho that the long shots have much less chance of the win than they used to do

Bitchin Doutai (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 13 April 2024 09:33 (two years ago)

compression of the weights and course adaptations bring the classier horses into it innit

or something, Saturday, 13 April 2024 09:47 (two years ago)

yeah exactly, it's good that it's safer and a better race but i miss the chaos

Bitchin Doutai (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 13 April 2024 09:49 (two years ago)

agreed, it's lost a bit of character now half the field are trained by Mullins and Elliott

or something, Saturday, 13 April 2024 10:02 (two years ago)

Mullins with 9 entries in one race is a bit of pisstake!

vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Saturday, 13 April 2024 10:22 (two years ago)

things that make you feel old: finding out AP McCoy is a year younger than you.

vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Saturday, 13 April 2024 10:30 (two years ago)

Lol everybody's younger than me now

Bitchin Doutai (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 13 April 2024 10:31 (two years ago)

Still haven't forgiven McCoy for winning this the first year I didn't back him

Bitchin Doutai (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 13 April 2024 10:32 (two years ago)

it feels like McCoy has been around forever. I can remember decades ago putting on 10p Yankees for my gran and her saying I've got 3 McCoy runners today. The guy must have been a fetus back then!

vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Saturday, 13 April 2024 10:37 (two years ago)

Lol, with my nan it was all Pat Eddery every saturday

Bitchin Doutai (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 13 April 2024 10:42 (two years ago)

I got a tip for Limerick Lace at 9/1

Saxophone Of Futility (Michael B), Saturday, 13 April 2024 11:31 (two years ago)

I got 14s on Mahler Mission and the local bookies are giving 1/4 odds on first five so that was nice

Bitchin Doutai (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 13 April 2024 11:57 (two years ago)

Always go with the Irish jockey my mum used to say - which wasn't any use as most of them are Irish.

My God's got no nose... (Tom D.), Saturday, 13 April 2024 12:05 (two years ago)

Keep thinking of Capodanno as Cappadonna and considering a little comedy Wu bet

Bitchin Doutai (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 13 April 2024 13:21 (two years ago)

Favourite, easy, game's gone

Bitchin Doutai (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 13 April 2024 15:12 (two years ago)

I got money back from Minello Indo on the pub sweep tho so lol, not far off broke even

Bitchin Doutai (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 13 April 2024 15:25 (two years ago)

Classy run from the winner

Bitchin Doutai (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 13 April 2024 15:26 (two years ago)

between us all I don't think we could've got that race more wrong if we'd tried

the writing was on the wall when the my main pick,the previous year's easy winner, a gold cup 3rd, fell at the first

or something, Saturday, 13 April 2024 15:29 (two years ago)

when I say we I mean me especially

or something, Saturday, 13 April 2024 15:30 (two years ago)

I missed the first minute of the race and soon realised my horse must have been an early casualty. lol, might as well just back the jolly in this race from now on.

vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Saturday, 13 April 2024 15:36 (two years ago)

Yeah I think the one I actually backed must've fell at some point but I've been out since dinnertime so I'll take the sweep cashback, and tbf the favourite won it exactly like a favourite would look, in the pack until the last stretch then glided away

Congrats to Willie Mullins for landing a winner from his mere 9 runners

Bitchin Doutai (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 13 April 2024 15:52 (two years ago)

Each way on Kitty's Light = only slightly down (as I also bet on Mr Incredible, who was not incredible).

Nasty, Brutish & Short, Saturday, 13 April 2024 22:05 (two years ago)

fell very early iirc. Mahler Mission did same, lol

Bitchin Doutai (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 14 April 2024 08:27 (two years ago)

Sad Ken

Ethinically Ambigaus (Bananaman Begins), Sunday, 14 April 2024 10:06 (two years ago)

the grand national has seemingly overwhelmed the system at bet666, they owe me some money from last night and this morning and these bets still haven't been settled and results aren't updating. Fucking tinpot organisation.

vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Sunday, 14 April 2024 10:41 (two years ago)

funny i bet it works if you try giving them more money

Bitchin Doutai (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 14 April 2024 11:21 (two years ago)

it's functional again now, but yeah unless the site is completely down for maintenance, you can always make deposits and waste money on stupid stuff and then wait umpteen hours to get paid out. Someone will get dropped into a shark tank if the "still taking bets" part of the system fails.

vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Sunday, 14 April 2024 11:28 (two years ago)

eleven months pass...

I'm such an occasional mug punter nowadays I've only just discovered that the bookies by my local has closed down ffs

i got bao-yu babe (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 April 2025 11:42 (one year ago)

Wanna do a fiver on the favourite cos the name is synchronicitous for me, drawn Appreciate It in one pub sweep, gonna e/w Royale Pigaille cos the name calls to me

Totally disconnected from actual knowledge, which is the correct strategy imo

i got bao-yu babe (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 April 2025 11:44 (one year ago)

I've gone for Three Card Brag as a tribute to my late stepdad who was a mean card player and always would go to the PP bookies next to the Wetherspoons to have a bet on this cavalry charge.

vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Saturday, 5 April 2025 11:59 (one year ago)

Fiver each on Hewith and Minella Cocooner

Saxophone Of Futility (Michael B), Saturday, 5 April 2025 12:38 (one year ago)

Iroko my main fancy

scatter gun approach to my ew bets beauport 55-1, minella cocooner 28-1, broadway boy 66-1, three card brag 25-1

or something, Saturday, 5 April 2025 12:47 (one year ago)

I got my actual bets on and I got
Minella Indo in the sweep in my local, seeing as it hasn't rained forever I can't see any huge upsets which was another reason to back Maximus

i got bao-yu babe (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 April 2025 14:21 (one year ago)

Another year, another few quid spunked up the wall 😃

i got bao-yu babe (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 April 2025 15:17 (one year ago)

lol

Ste, Saturday, 5 April 2025 15:50 (one year ago)

mine was in the front 4 for much of the race then faded in the last few jumps. An improvement on last year when the fucker didn't even get a mention!

vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Saturday, 5 April 2025 16:09 (one year ago)

Glad to see Randox sponsoring it. The COVID Grand National.

LocalGarda, Saturday, 5 April 2025 16:15 (one year ago)

My wife who has no knowledge of horse racing managed to get the one-two. £46 from two £2 each way bets.

Dan Worsley, Saturday, 5 April 2025 18:34 (one year ago)

My horse led for half the race, then fell, may be dead, this is pretty typical.

zoloft keeps liftin' me (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, 5 April 2025 18:39 (one year ago)

xp

tell her always do reverse forecasts when you back 2 horses in 1 race, no don't actually!

vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Saturday, 5 April 2025 18:41 (one year ago)

one year passes...

Apparently not allowed to have a bet on this and vote Green, so i saved myself the money. Panic Attack screaming for it tho, obv

the Don King of donking (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 11 April 2026 14:59 (three days ago)

All these years, still can't organise a fucking start

the Don King of donking (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 11 April 2026 15:02 (three days ago)

Lol fell at the 3rd thank you based Polanski

the Don King of donking (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 11 April 2026 15:03 (three days ago)

two horses have died at Aintree since Friday. Obviously some kind of communist op to boost Polanski!

calzino, Saturday, 11 April 2026 15:06 (three days ago)

Of course that cunt wins when I haven't backed him

Straightforward win, too

the Don King of donking (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 11 April 2026 15:12 (three days ago)


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