oral sex or 'real sex'?

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er, FIGHT and all that...

classic or dud or something.

um. etc.

― Wyndham Earl, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

sex is anything involving more than one person where orgasm is attempted. handjobs. blowjobs. cunnilingus. analingus. buttfuckin. frontbuttfuckin. etc. whatever. with or without penetration. none of these forms are any more or less real.

― di, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

a friend of moine says i talk about sex heaps and heaps. is this true?

― di, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

nevertheless, each produce different sensations. are certain sensations prefferable to others and how does this differ between males and females?

sex is there to be talked about. much more so than it is to be done.

― Wyndham Earl, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

They both have their positive qualities.

― electric sound of jim, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

then which is the least repulsive?

― Wyndham Earl, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Neither is repulsive, I would have said. Right now I'd quite happily go for either with equal gusto. If it came down to a pros and cons type dealie, I'd go for "real" (ie penetrative) but why be fussy when it's all good 'n that

― electric sound of jim, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I am personally offended by di's suggestion that sex must involve more than one person.

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Taking Sides: hygiene anxiety vs performance anxiety!

― Tom, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

ew. for some reason i find just the word 'hygiene' sort of.. well.. dirty.

― Wyndham Earl, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

hey di, isn't it sorta reductive to say that sex means "attempting orgasm"?

hmmm maybe not.

― gabe, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i don't see why orgasm has to be attempted. that's nothing to do with making sex = sex in my opinion.

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

oh gabe eats cake must've beat me to that by a few secs

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

fnarr

― electric sound of jim, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

but isn't orgasm the logical and physical conclusion of sexual activity anyway? in the simplest sense: its the bit that feels the best, so why not go for it?

― Wyndham Earl, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i don't get this thread. what is the question???

― elizabeth, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

but isn't orgasm the logical and physical conclusion of sexual activity anyway? in the simplest sense: its the bit that feels the best, so why not go for it? well why not just masturbate instead? i can't understand that idea. maybe it's 'cause i'm female

― wanker, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

hey is wyndham earl from twin peaks???? please tell me 'cause it's driving me crazy trying to remember

― i want to eat cherry pie, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

fite - no teeth!

― goeff, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

oral sex is definately not real sex. woiudl you give a blowjob to yoour mother?

― mike hanle y, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I must say, I really like getting blowjobs. I could use one every single day, I think, from someone who's really good at it and likes doing it. Sex is kind of annoying because it often takes longer (or else is too short), gets sweatier, more complicated. Girls get off much quicker if you go down. I just like looking down and seeing a head looking back. Dunno why. I guess I'm a power freak.

― Nude Spock, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

if sex is enjoyable, yr doing it wrong.

― duane, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Huh.

Enjoy both as much as you can -- but give as well as you get.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

but ned what if you don't like to give it. myself i don't like to (and don't) do oral sex to males but i get it from them. (well one of them anyway). actually it's quite good because i am with a male who doesn't like getting it.

― , Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"hey is wyndham earl from twin peaks???? please tell me 'cause it's driving me crazy trying to remember

-- i want to eat cherry pie "

argh, BOLLOCKS. first day of using the name and rumbled already. yes, he's the psycho in the second series, except its spelt Windom Earle or something. Windom Earle were also a terrible Husker Du-type local band i saw in Hull one time..

― Wyndham Earl, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I thought it was actually some sort of Wyndham Lewis reference. Oh well.

actually it's quite good because i am with a male who doesn't like getting it.

Ah, then the balance is achieved. :-)

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i think obviously the giving and receiving thing is different regarding gender because obviously with women no icky fluid stuff is involved. usually.

is that what girls (or gay men) dislike about giving oral sex?

god knows i wouldn't want that stuff near my tastebuds. um, not that i do know what it tastes like.

what does it taste like?

― Wyndham Earl, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

obviously with women no icky fluid stuff is involved. usually.

Usually? Uh, that might tell you something.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Icky? What's with all this icky? It should only be icky if the person has dubious personal habits with regards to hygeine. I don't understand squeamish reactions to normal, healthy bodily fluids...

― electric sound of jim, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

well how would you feel?!

― luke, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have no preference.

― Luke, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

from least-favorite to most-favorite.

getting a blowjob * giving a handjob * getting a handjob * getting/giving analingus * giving cunnilingus . anal sex . vaginal sex (three-way tie)

but it's only fun when the other person is having fun too. so better a happy handjob than sad sodomy!

― some guy, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Truer fucking words.

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

if god had wanted us to have oral sex he wouldn't've invented pubes

― mr smythe, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

If attempting orgasm was the key issue here my girlfriend and I would have sex once in a blue moon. I don't usually have too much trouble, but she has never come from penetrative sex (on its own) and I'm sure has given up expecting to do so. Nevertheless, she does seem to enjoy herself, sometimes even quite a lot!

Personally, I love everything about it (though I've never gone to bed with a chap). Bodily fluids are great!

― Mark C, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

sex is anything involving more than one person where orgasm is attempted.

i've never had sex where i didn't attempt to have an orgasm, firstly. sorry if that doesn't apply to you, i just assumed that was what everyone did. got a better definition? and secondly, my definition ain't THAT reductive - i said orgasm is attempted, i didn't say "where orgasm is reached by both parties" blah blah.

― di, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

the last three words of that should have been "by all parties".

― di, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one year passes...

Ah yes, this was the TMI MARK C thread.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 10 March 2003 02:02 (twenty-three years ago)

thanks, nick.

: ((((((((((((

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 10 March 2003 02:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Oral sex isn't any faster than regular sex!

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 10 March 2003 04:45 (twenty-three years ago)

it's a lot slower most of the time!

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 10 March 2003 07:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Depends on who's getting it (and who's giving it).

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 10 March 2003 07:07 (twenty-three years ago)

God I love Mark C's confessional streak.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 10 March 2003 09:30 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm still trying to deal with the fact that I am getting involved with a person that has a penis. I pray that he is happy with oral and manual sex and no 'real sex' coz I just don't think I can do it.

― toraneko (toraneko), Monday, 10 March 2003 14:21 (twenty-three years ago)

five years pass...

-- Nude Spock, Tuesday, January 22, 2002 8:00 PM

― am0n, Wednesday, 19 March 2008 01:45 (seventeen years ago)

"I just like looking down and seeing a head looking back."

yikes

― and what, Wednesday, 19 March 2008 01:57 (seventeen years ago)

http://mikeduran.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/psycho.jpg

― am0n, Wednesday, 19 March 2008 02:06 (seventeen years ago)

http://store.vesterheim.org/images/3567.jpg

― gershy, Wednesday, 19 March 2008 02:27 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.prometheusbooks.com/site/images/PowerFreaks.jpg

― iiiijjjj, Wednesday, 19 March 2008 02:33 (seventeen years ago)

"I just like looking down and seeing a head looking back."

ed_the_happy_clown.jpg

― Rock Hardy, Wednesday, 19 March 2008 03:00 (seventeen years ago)

Skipping 32 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

btw ENBB i assumed they had all tasted it before too, just to see

― fantazy land (harbl), Wednesday, May 6, 2009 9:03 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

nah

― triple-hater protection (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 7 May 2009 03:07 (sixteen years ago)

God you guys are all so unadventurous. I am surprised.

― a sweet ballet dancer (ENBB), Thursday, 7 May 2009 03:11 (sixteen years ago)

i thought so, too

― tehresa, Thursday, 7 May 2009 03:13 (sixteen years ago)

nope. the idea kind of grosses me out honestly.

― circa1916, Thursday, 7 May 2009 03:34 (sixteen years ago)

me 2 tbh

― triple-hater protection (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 7 May 2009 03:35 (sixteen years ago)

i mean to be really real (consider that a warning if you panic over tmi i guess) i've tried it but it was such a small amount as to have been negligible so i didn't really answer the "how does it taste" question and i haven't really had the urge

― I'm not some HOOS for someone's lust to snack on! (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Thursday, 7 May 2009 04:12 (sixteen years ago)

since then

― I'm not some HOOS for someone's lust to snack on! (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Thursday, 7 May 2009 04:12 (sixteen years ago)

my lips are sealed

;-)

― sorry for british (country matters), Thursday, 7 May 2009 04:13 (sixteen years ago)

by dried semen

― Fyodor Lolstoevsky (Pillbox), Thursday, 7 May 2009 04:14 (sixteen years ago)

too far

― a sweet ballet dancer (ENBB), Thursday, 7 May 2009 04:15 (sixteen years ago)

;-P

― a sweet ballet dancer (ENBB), Thursday, 7 May 2009 04:15 (sixteen years ago)

U dialed it up, E.

― Fyodor Lolstoevsky (Pillbox), Thursday, 7 May 2009 04:16 (sixteen years ago)

I know!!

― a sweet ballet dancer (ENBB), Thursday, 7 May 2009 04:16 (sixteen years ago)

Yeah, never tasted.

― too many misters not enough sisters (milo z), Thursday, 7 May 2009 04:24 (sixteen years ago)

people are gross imo

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Thursday, 7 May 2009 04:33 (sixteen years ago)

"People just ain't no good."

- Nick Cave

― bachmann boehner overdrive (kenan), Thursday, 7 May 2009 04:43 (sixteen years ago)

I have to change my screen name now, I forgot there was already one overdrive

― bachmann boehner overdrive (kenan), Thursday, 7 May 2009 04:43 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.masterpiecepumpkins.com/Graphics/TheyEatTheirOwn%20(3)_____.jpg

― Fyodor Lolstoevsky (Pillbox), Thursday, 7 May 2009 04:44 (sixteen years ago)

btw

― triple-hater protection (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 7 May 2009 04:45 (sixteen years ago)

First thing that came to my mind was that song.

― bachmann boehner overdrive (kenan), Thursday, 7 May 2009 04:51 (sixteen years ago)

sex is anything involving more than one person where orgasm is attempted. handjobs. blowjobs. cunnilingus. analingus.

Whoa stop right there. If you're even attempting -- much less achieving -- orgasm just by having your ass licked, you are some kinda cheap date.

― bachmann boehner overdrive (kenan), Thursday, 7 May 2009 04:56 (sixteen years ago)

That's like coming when someone gives you a wet wille.

― bachmann boehner overdrive (kenan), Thursday, 7 May 2009 04:56 (sixteen years ago)

except it's in your butt

― triple-hater protection (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 7 May 2009 04:57 (sixteen years ago)

There are key differences, yes.

― bachmann boehner overdrive (kenan), Thursday, 7 May 2009 04:58 (sixteen years ago)

there's a keyhole pun deep in there somewhere

― I'm not some HOOS for someone's lust to snack on! (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Thursday, 7 May 2009 09:01 (sixteen years ago)

That might be overkill.

― my features are so intense (kenan), Thursday, 7 May 2009 09:06 (sixteen years ago)

Sex is kind of annoying because it often takes longer

Is this another untruth of that post or am I some kinda special case?

― SQUIRREL WITH A PEOPLE FACE (╓abies), Thursday, 7 May 2009 15:12 (sixteen years ago)

sex takes longer for me. I don't know if that's normal or not.

― languid samuel l. jackson (jim), Thursday, 7 May 2009 15:20 (sixteen years ago)

TMI the thread.

― languid samuel l. jackson (jim), Thursday, 7 May 2009 15:20 (sixteen years ago)

sex takes longer for me. I don't know if that's normal or not.

― languid samuel l. jackson (jim), Thursday, 7 May 2009 16:20 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark

Erm opposite from what he said.
I can control it more during sex, if someone’s giving you oral, they’re in control. Worst thing about oral is when girl stops and says “are you going to come as my jaw’s aching”.

Way to ruin it and they’re lucky I’m a decent chap who doesn’t make them start all over again.

― not_goodwin, Thursday, 7 May 2009 15:32 (sixteen years ago)

don't ya just love it when you make a gleeful little double entendre then some american comes along precisely 1 minute later to explain it

― sorry for british (country matters), Thursday, 7 May 2009 15:33 (sixteen years ago)

xpost. I realise that's the opposite of what he said.

― languid samuel l. jackson (jim), Thursday, 7 May 2009 15:34 (sixteen years ago)

basically, give me some credit here guys, i even gave you the winking emoticon

― sorry for british (country matters), Thursday, 7 May 2009 15:34 (sixteen years ago)

Worst thing about oral is when girl stops and says “are you going to come as my jaw’s aching”.

o_O

― a sweet ballet dancer (ENBB), Thursday, 7 May 2009 15:38 (sixteen years ago)

and also

Way to ruin it and they’re lucky I’m a decent chap who doesn’t make them start all over again.

o_O

― a sweet ballet dancer (ENBB), Thursday, 7 May 2009 15:41 (sixteen years ago)

Way to ruin it and they’re lucky I’m a decent chap who doesn’t make them start all over again.
that bit was made up, other bit has happened.

― not_goodwin, Thursday, 7 May 2009 15:45 (sixteen years ago)

First bit is like every time ever.

― SQUIRREL WITH A PEOPLE FACE (╓abies), Thursday, 7 May 2009 15:51 (sixteen years ago)

BUT I find it hard to believe that this dude never tasted "that stuff" even just once. Is this not something guys normally do? Not even once just to see?

No. and i don't usually bother with capital letters.

― Old Big 'OOS (AKA the Cupwinner) (darraghmac), Thursday, 7 May 2009 15:55 (sixteen years ago)

Worst thing about oral is when girl stops and says “are you going to come as my jaw’s aching”.

Stops? Asks? She can't tell in any other way?

This is all highly irregular and against protocol. I may have to file a report.

― my features are so intense (kenan), Thursday, 7 May 2009 16:45 (sixteen years ago)

I’ve had this twice actually, usually just about the time I’m thinking not long now :(
I wouldn't dream of saying this to a girl, it's such a passion killer.

― not_goodwin, Thursday, 7 May 2009 17:02 (sixteen years ago)

^^ otm x 10000

― where we turn sweet dreams into remarkable realities (just1n3), Thursday, 7 May 2009 17:03 (sixteen years ago)

don't ya just love it when you make a gleeful little double entendre then some american comes along precisely 1 minute later to explain it

Yes, I'm sorry to have smothered your nuance & wit with crass vulgarity, but I had a role to play.

― Fyodor Lolstoevsky (Pillbox), Thursday, 7 May 2009 17:06 (sixteen years ago)

I wouldn't dream of saying this to a girl, it's such a passion killer.

Oh now let's not climb up on a cross now. We've all made our oral sex mistakes. More than most kinds of mistakes, I reckon.

― my features are so intense (kenan), Thursday, 7 May 2009 17:09 (sixteen years ago)

i would think that the mainstreaming of gagging etc etc has meant that you cant get away with saying oral isnt penetrative anymore.

― titchy (titchyschneiderMk2), Thursday, 7 May 2009 17:10 (sixteen years ago)

oh no

― languid samuel l. jackson (jim), Thursday, 7 May 2009 17:41 (sixteen years ago)

For me they're both good.
Receiving good
Giving good
sex good

― not_goodwin, Thursday, 7 May 2009 17:43 (sixteen years ago)

The book contains recipes for the almost white Russian, man made oysters, tuna sashimi with dipping sauce (you know what that is), and (if I may insert editorial opinion here), the grossest of them all, creamy cum crepes.

Missed an opportunity to call them 'wanky pancakes'.

― Enormous Epic (Matt DC), Thursday, 7 May 2009 17:52 (sixteen years ago)

sbarro good

― Here Comes the Hardzinger (gabbneb), Thursday, 7 May 2009 17:54 (sixteen years ago)

when I go down on my girl, she's fairly consistent about when she comes...so I'm able to pace myself.

there was this one time, though, that either she was off or maybe I was....where it took forever. and she had her legs clamping my arms down on the bed the whole time.

By the time she came, I had the worst pins and needles in the history of mankind...plus felt like I had asthma.

― III IV V (Bo Jackson Overdrive), Wednesday, 13 May 2009 19:11 (sixteen years ago)

Sex takes longer than instant rice but shorter than regular rice.

― test drives at ur own risk i cant go with you too many bees (Abbott), Wednesday, 13 May 2009 19:17 (sixteen years ago)

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