crying in public

But why are you sad? Why don't you tell us?

Last year I went through couple of phases of anything setting me off. I'd be crying on buses a lot. Silly, really.

That's been months ago though. I really don't cry very often now. When I was going through a period of being depressed I would cry a lot, everywhere, it was pretty embarassing.

I read somewhere once that tears contain a lot of toxins and are so crying is good for a hangover.

What a mess.

Awkward. Because we're all brought up to "come to terms" with things, to keep our countenance. If we don't we're weak; or else, as Dave Q says, we fear that it could be construed as emotional blackmail (and of course many people do use it for the latter means).

Came near the edge many times when at my mum's over Xmas but usually went out the room to get it out of my system.

When at B Trotswood that Saturday before Xmas had to excuse self to gents three times to have a bloody weep.

This is getting far too personal. I must stop here.

You may be too sensitive for your own good, Starchild.

Well, just think of it as a pedophiliac's attempt to create a 'beautiful' young character and then it becomes a horrorshow.

there was about a week of my life where i kept bawling in computer labs.

phewww, haven't cried in public for a while. when i do, i do it silently cos i feel uncomfortable that strangers can see me engaging in something so private. last year i cried more than i've ever cried in my life.

I cry at movies and television quite often. Usually it makes somewhat sense (I always cry at the end of West Side Story) but I Love 1988???

would any of you approach someone who's crying in public?

last night I was getting the tube home after flying in from Dublin and this girl sitting on the platform at Bank was utterly bawling, there was only a few people around. I walked past and then thought I should try and do something and looked back a few times, but ultimately decided in that situation I'd just as likely not want anyone to say anything, or think it was none of their business.

I think it's no harm to approach and ask if they're ok or if there's anything you can do. Did this the last day (with my GF in tow, I don't have a face that anyone in a vulnerable position would welcome disturbing them), but then tbf the reason the girl we approached was crying was that her boyfriend was roaring into her face from about a foot away.

As someone who cries in public on a far more frequent basis than I'd like, I'd suggest, only approach if you have some direct method of "helping" - e.g. the offer of a tissue.

Saying "are you alright?" to someone who is very obviously and visibly *not* alright is kind of a non-starter.

If you really insist on intervening, questions like "do you need help?" or "can I do something for you?" are far more likely to be of use than "are you alright?"

It may be "my boyfriend has just split up with me" in which case, no, you cannot help. It may be "I've just been mugged and have no money to get home" in which case, you actually can help. It may be "I've just had a rotten day at work and need to bawl my eyes out" in which case a tissue is the most obvious and helpful thing in a non-intrusive way.

Offer of tissue actually a very sweet and practical suggestion, there.

only if you're carrying a tissue though tbh

Not a used one, preferably

I do think crying in public is a bit gauche, tho I suppose on rare occasions it can't be helped. I once tried to break up with a guy I'd only gone on a few dates with (or well, said "this cant continue"), and he burst into tears in the middle of the food court we were in.

...perhaps I could have picked a better moment, but geez.

It's not ideal, crying in public, no, but honestly - there's only one thing worse than feeling so damn awful that you burst into tears without being able to wait until you get to somewhere more private - and that's the casual assumptions of others that you're doing it to be maniupulative or something. ;_;

Yes. I was walking by a bus stop and no one else was around, the person was in pain.

I did approach, a friend was phoned and on the way.

Saying "are you alright?" to someone who is very obviously and visibly *not* alright is kind of a non-starter

I don't think that being asked if you're alright when you clearly aren't is a mis-step, most of the time. You don't ask people that are clearly alright if they're alright, but to describe it as 'insisting on intervening' does seem to be a little strong.

Obviously it'll vary depending on circumstances but on balance I'd rather ask and get my head chewed off than walk past someone without pretending to notice.

I'm just trying to say that it's better to offer an actual plan of action or assistance, rather than some general enquiry which could be seen as fuss-age or worse, intruding.

Well, yeah, but sometimes well-intentioned hopelessness is all you have to offer- it's a fine line to tread though between letting them know you're concerned or will try to help, and, as you say, intruding into something they might not be delighted about sharing/where you can't help.

"Can I help?" = OK

"I am concerned" = veering over to the concern troll side of problematic. (i.e. making the person feel worse than they already do, because their behaviour is upsetting others = NAGL)

well maybe so, i dunno

i remember asking some woman if she was alright, in a bar after she'd had a glass thrown at her face by some kids. she pretty much bit my head off DO I FUCKING LOOK ALRIGHT ?!.
i was obv asking as an opener, to offer further assistance. this translation was lost on her, in the heat of the event.

she didn't cry tho.

Yeah, I'm trying to give helpful suggestions of how *not* to get that DO I FUCKING LOOK ALRIGHT?!?! head biting.

Because in that case, an offer of a tissue or something to wipe away (water, beer, or blood, depending on the state of the thrown glass) would be a lot more useful.

As someone who cries in public on a far more frequent basis than I'd like, I'd suggest, only approach if you have some direct method of "helping" - e.g. the offer of a tissue.

Saying "are you alright?" to someone who is very obviously and visibly *not* alright is kind of a non-starter.

If you really insist on intervening, questions like "do you need help?" or "can I do something for you?" are far more likely to be of use than "are you alright?"

It may be "my boyfriend has just split up with me" in which case, no, you cannot help. It may be "I've just been mugged and have no money to get home" in which case, you actually can help. It may be "I've just had a rotten day at work and need to bawl my eyes out" in which case a tissue is the most obvious and helpful thing in a non-intrusive way.

Seriously, this entire post is OTM in my experience too. I don't *want* to ever cry in public, and usually when I do I'm trying to shrink into the walls so nobody can see me, so someone coming over is definitely going to make me feel even worse. A tissue or something that is practical may help to take one's focus off the emotional side to it all, so is less likely to cause further problems.

This is all assuming that the crying is the sole manifestation here - if someone was crying and also bleeding from the head it would be rather unfeeling to not offer assistance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aFV1r45sAQ

I'd question the motivations of the parents who made this video public, but also...THIS IS HILARIOUS

Those little bastards are me irl after every movie that's even a little bit sad.

ALSO THANKS A LOT FOR THE SPOILER WARNING

jk, I'm not planning on seeing this shit

Wait I take it back - these kids are still crying. They might be a bit mental.

On crying in public: I cried the other night when I dropped my mom off at the airport and couldn't stop and had to sit down at the gate and collect myself and I was all embarrassed. :(

Aww.

Why is anybody embarrassed to cry in public? If they're strangers, fuck them for mocking you, if they're freinds, you'll know.

If only it were that simple

i wonder if museums offer a socially acceptable venue for grieving, and that's why people sometimes cry at art at a museum, and not say, in a pizza parlour.

(i guess to really test this i have to steal some rauschenbergs and nail them to a shakey's somewhere)

parents of those kids are assholes

^^^both for taking them to a terrible movie and for filming them afterwards and putting it on the internet

also please don't nail any rauschenbergs to me

I've been trying to do one of these for a while now, maybe I should go to a museum

"one of these" = a public cry, if that wasn't clear

Is it acceptable to flip off anyone who looks at while crying in public? I think I'd do that.

looks at you that is.

Uh, if you are crying in a public place, it is hardly an invasion of your privacy to look at you. And flipping them off seems like a very aggressive and basically unwarranted reaction to what might be mere concern for you. If they were pointing at you and laughing... then it's another story altogether.

http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1138982!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_635/shia1.jpg

crying in public because he lost the slavoj zizek lookalike competition.

I once told some passerby staring at me for crying to fuck off and stop looking at me, and he punched me in the face. The shock stopped me crying at least. I'm a bit nicer to people if I have a public breakdown now.

zizek could pull those shorts off (figuratively)

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8ockjpccR1qb4dbmo1_1280.jpg

never gonna see this guy crying.