SRSLY, WHAT IS HEN FAP? :(

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someone explain it to me as if i were stupid. which i am.

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:12 (nineteen years ago)

DELETE THREAD

― Fight the Real Enemy -- Tasti D-Lite (ex machina), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:14 (nineteen years ago)

SCREW YOU JON :(

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:14 (nineteen years ago)

"Hen fap" was a joke from an Onion article in the late 90s. It made headlines again in 2006 when posters on the "Aja/Dante" message board used it as a witty post-modern parody of "forced memes", and proceeded to insert it into conversation in places one would not normally expect to see it. It has no relation to plunging hens of any sort.
-- Dom Passantino (juror...), April 17th, 2006 8:09 PM. (Dom Passantino) (later)

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:14 (nineteen years ago)

I still don't get it.

Oh well, delete thread.

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:15 (nineteen years ago)

Your search - site:www.theonion.com hen fap - did not match any documents.

― theantmustdance (theantmustdance), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:16 (nineteen years ago)

WHATS A JOEK?

― Washable School Paste (sexyDancer), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:17 (nineteen years ago)

It was in a photo, it's from the Alzheimer's story

(x-post).

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:17 (nineteen years ago)

I#Really, it's people thinking they're funny when they aren't. Or maybe they are, and I don't get it.

(see use of phrase "witty post-modern parody" for why I think it's the former)

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:18 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/onion_news2003.article.jpg

Milhouse is not a meme, ailsa.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:18 (nineteen years ago)

i thought it was an all-woman FAP. really!

― kyle (akmonday), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:19 (nineteen years ago)

And, no, hen fap never has and never will be funny per se, but it's nice to see it take flight on ILX of its own accord.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:20 (nineteen years ago)

http://i3.tinypic.com/vqksqu.jpg

― ath (ath), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:20 (nineteen years ago)

kyle is the only person making any sense

― sunny successor (katharine), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:20 (nineteen years ago)

i thought the same thing as kyle actually

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:21 (nineteen years ago)

me too.

Now I wonder if it's an onion inside joke - like potrzebie.

― dave vire think (dave225.3), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:23 (nineteen years ago)

I think the gurlz of ILX should reclaim it for their own Hen FAPs.

― kyle (akmonday), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:26 (nineteen years ago)

we had a GIRL-only FAP once in London, but we didn't call it a Hen FAP.

I was thinking a Hen FAP would be when a bunch of ILX chicks get together for a bachelorette party.

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:30 (nineteen years ago)

It's a meme initiated by COCKfarmers

― thr (thr), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:30 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, I also thought it was an all-woman FAP and also assumed it was mocking Kate.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:30 (nineteen years ago)

I was just quoting Dom from another thread, btw, I have no idea if that's really the point of it.

Ken C is trying to reclaim it on another thread by going for a pint in the Famous Cock and going out to eat chicken.

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:32 (nineteen years ago)

so, see, this thread was useful afterall

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:35 (nineteen years ago)

(mandee what does it mean that you are no longer POOP BITCH?)

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:38 (nineteen years ago)

I actually support the idea of "hen fap" coming to signify something else in the ILXverse, and an all female FAP would be a wonderful construct.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:39 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/onion_news2003.jpg

― ath (ath), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:41 (nineteen years ago)

mooks, it means i've moved away from that dark place.

im much happier now.

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:42 (nineteen years ago)

I'm glad someone asked this question (and got an answer). I was afraid I'd be labelled as a spammer if I asked.

― someone let this mitya out! (mitya), Monday, 17 April 2006 19:41 (nineteen years ago)

hey dom you think you're jack bloddy deri da da or summat?

― A representative of the Aja / Dante diaspora, Monday, 17 April 2006 20:04 (nineteen years ago)

Why does Kanye West say "WE WANT HEN FAP!" in Golddigger?

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Monday, 17 April 2006 20:24 (nineteen years ago)

It's a black guy thing.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 17 April 2006 21:11 (nineteen years ago)

I was thinking a Hen FAP would be when a bunch of ILX chicks get together for a bachelorette party.

That could still happen!

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 17 April 2006 21:13 (nineteen years ago)

is a bachelorette party one that involves a lady who is going to be married the next day? because really that is the only way to have a hen FAP. (a 'sten' fap has already happened in the past, actually)

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 17 April 2006 21:39 (nineteen years ago)

Kanye does NOT say "We want hen fap" on "Golddigger."

What he says is "We want pre-nup."

Then he says "It's some hen that you need to fap."

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 01:30 (nineteen years ago)

a handjob from a chicken

― Holy makkara, Toivo! (OutDatWay), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 01:54 (nineteen years ago)

the thing about the microphone is that you gotta eat it
a handjob from a chicken, oh god i really need it

― ath (ath), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 02:23 (nineteen years ago)

http://420chan.org/

― whatdoes, Tuesday, 18 April 2006 03:57 (nineteen years ago)

it's something that you need to have

― 25 yr old slacker cokehead (Enrique), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 10:17 (nineteen years ago)

Amanda's new name is a big improvement.

It is nice to be not the only one who doesn't understand the modern slang.

― the bellefox, Tuesday, 18 April 2006 15:28 (nineteen years ago)

what was her name before? i have already forgotten :/

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 15:30 (nineteen years ago)

sociah T mobile

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 15:40 (nineteen years ago)

steve it was POOP BITCH

which is sorta gross.

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 15:46 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...

Thanks for passing along the latest "hen fap" occurrence. I have no idea how to stop this guy from IP hopping and acting like a big baby. (The guy's original account was permabanned awhile ago) I get this image of some obese guy sitting in front of his PC babbling "hen fap" over and over ... I guess you don't have to be sane to edit Wikipedia. Anyway, I've asked a few people to see if it's possible to create some sort of anti-hen fap "bot" that can catch future appearances of this type of vandalism. Thanks again.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 1 June 2006 21:13 (nineteen years ago)

yah really something to be proud of there, bro.

― chaki (chaki), Thursday, 1 June 2006 21:35 (nineteen years ago)

you missed a bit, dom:

Mr. Hen Fap struck again as TuomasTumour

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 1 June 2006 21:39 (nineteen years ago)

Science.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 1 June 2006 21:41 (nineteen years ago)

The existence of a hen-fap destroying robot could single-handedly redeem the meme!

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Thursday, 1 June 2006 21:42 (nineteen years ago)

There's nothing as great as ruining a good thing with your stupid insider pranks.

― like murderinging (modestmickey), Thursday, 1 June 2006 21:48 (nineteen years ago)

There's nothing as great as ruining a good thing with your stupid insider pranks.

QFT.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 1 June 2006 21:48 (nineteen years ago)

The existence of a hen-fap destroying robot could single-handedly redeem the meme!

http://crouchrobot.ytmnd.com/

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 1 June 2006 21:50 (nineteen years ago)

The Wikipedia panty-bunching over this pretty much makes it funny after all.

― Courtney Gidts (ex machina), Thursday, 1 June 2006 22:05 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hen+fap

― pleased to mitya (mitya), Thursday, 1 June 2006 22:14 (nineteen years ago)

still funny to me

― kyle (akmonday), Thursday, 1 June 2006 22:36 (nineteen years ago)

tags: chicken | handjob | kanye | buttez | ilxor

― pablo (Pablo A), Friday, 2 June 2006 01:22 (nineteen years ago)

actually, bato's is better.

― pablo (Pablo A), Friday, 2 June 2006 01:24 (nineteen years ago)

hahaha AWESOME; I didn't submit that!

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Friday, 2 June 2006 03:40 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...

http://henfap.ytmnd.com/

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Saturday, 29 July 2006 19:04 (nineteen years ago)

nice work fellas, the hard work paid off.

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 31 July 2006 07:20 (nineteen years ago)

http://silverdragonwic.livejournal.com/209575.html

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 9 August 2006 18:46 (nineteen years ago)

t-shirt plz

― jergins (jergins), Friday, 11 August 2006 00:47 (nineteen years ago)

Buttez is undefined http://www.websmileys.com/sm/sad/310.gif

― StanM (StanM), Friday, 11 August 2006 06:20 (nineteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

bumped for new ILX era

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 15:37 (nineteen years ago)

wrinklepaws > your shitty meme

― mr. brojangles (sanskrit), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 15:38 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.websmileys.com/sm/sad/310.gif

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 15:40 (nineteen years ago)

i texted dom with a hen fap query through the medium of another internet hobby the other week. meaning it is now truly a pan-internet meme. maybe.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 15:40 (nineteen years ago)

"I've got one," says Dag with some enthusiasm, partially the result, I suspect, of wanting to score brownie points with Elvissa. "It happened in 1974. In Kingston, Ontario." He lights a cigarette and we wait. "My dad and I were at a gas station and I was given the task of filling up the gas tank--a Galaxy 500, snazzy car. And filling it up was a big responsibility for me. I was one of those goofy kids who always got colds and never got the hang of things like filling up gas tanks or unraveling tangled fishing rods. I'd always screw things up somehow; break something; have it die.

"Anyway, Dad was in the station shop buying a map, and I was outside feeling so manly and just so proud of how I hadn't botched anything up yet--set fire to the gas station or what have you--and the tank was almost full. Well, Dad came out just as I was topping the tank off, at which point the nozzle simply went nuts. It started spraying all over. I don't know why--it just did--all over my jeans, my running shoes, the license plate, the cement--like purple alcohol. Dad saw everything and I thought I was going to catch total shit. I felt so small. But instead he smiled and said to me, 'Hey, Sport. Isn't the smell of gasoline great? Close your eyes and inhale. So clean. It smells like the future.'

"Well, I did that--I closed my eyes just as he asked, and breathed in deeply. And at that point I saw the bright orange light of the sun coming through my eyelids, smelled the gasoline and my knees buckled. But it was the most perfect moment of my life, and so if you ask me (and I have a lot of hopes pinned on this), heaven just has to be an awful lot like those few seconds. That's my memory of earth."

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 15:43 (nineteen years ago)

four months pass...

Hen fappenin' is what's happenin'

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 12:54 (eighteen years ago)

Your questions are answered here: Welp, I've discovered what HEN FAP is...

― SAVE IT FOR THE CAKE LIST YOU CRAZY BROAD (patog27), Wednesday, 10 January 2007 12:58 (eighteen years ago)

hannah pool hates hen fap :(

― the original hauntology blogging crew (Enrique), Friday, 19 January 2007 09:30 (eighteen years ago)

three years pass...

http://www.devtopics.com/dont-get-fapped-get-hnfap-the-premier-fap-monitor-for-hughesnet-high-speed-internet/

Imagine you are driving down the highway and run out of gas. Surely that’s bad enough, but then you discover that you cannot refill your gas tank and are stranded for 24 hours or more. Welcome to the world of high-speed satellite internet.

To deal with this problem, we built HNFAP, FREE Windows software that acts like a smart gas gauge for your HughesNet high-speed Satellite internet. HNFAP™ (pronounced "HEN-fap") enables you to download as much as possible without running out of gas.

― I think I'm Big Bird, Harold Hooper (crüt), Saturday, 31 July 2010 23:44 (fifteen years ago)

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/38/94379148_c73deffa4c.jpg

― still they got me like beezus (Pillbox), Saturday, 31 July 2010 23:55 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.theappleofdiscord.com/comics/2009-08-12-WeWantHenFapComic.jpg

― Mr. Snrub, Sunday, 1 August 2010 01:25 (fifteen years ago)

it's something i gotta have

― 3-D MUTANT PENGUIN TITS! (latebloomer), Sunday, 1 August 2010 02:48 (fifteen years ago)

one month passes...

after all these years i still dont "get" this

― homosexual II, Wednesday, 15 September 2010 05:03 (fifteen years ago)

wrinklepaws > your shitty meme

― mr. brojangles (sanskrit)

― ask corey (buzza), Wednesday, 15 September 2010 05:04 (fifteen years ago)

uffie is touring aus soon, will have to go and request "Hen Fap (It's Something That I Need To Have)"

― too late for alcohol mate (electricsound), Wednesday, 15 September 2010 05:06 (fifteen years ago)

one month passes...

What is a Restore Token?
To ensure that all subscribers to HughesNet® high-speed satellite Internet have adequate bandwidth, HughesNet maintains a Fair Access Policy (FAP). HughesNet assigns a “Download Allowance” for each service plan that limits the amount of data that a user may download each day. Subscribers who exceed this limit will experience a severe reduction in download speed for about a day. This is known as being “FAPPED.” You can still send and receive short email messages, but Web browsing is too slow to be practical. A “Restore Token” enables you to cancel this download penalty and return to fast browsing speeds without having to wait for 24 hours.

― kkvgz, Friday, 5 November 2010 13:27 (fourteen years ago)

HNFAP v2.5 Now Available
October 9, 2010

HNFAP v2.5 is now available for download. This is a bug-fix version.

Download HNFAP

― kkvgz, Friday, 5 November 2010 13:27 (fourteen years ago)

http://media.theonion.com/images/articles/article/835/onion_news2003_jpg_250x1000_q85.jpg

― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 5 November 2010 14:03 (fourteen years ago)

four years pass...

literally just there clicked what it was

― irl lol (darraghmac), Sunday, 5 July 2015 23:02 (ten years ago)

it's something that you need to have

― like a giraffe of nah (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 5 July 2015 23:04 (ten years ago)

I know that now!

― irl lol (darraghmac), Sunday, 5 July 2015 23:11 (ten years ago)

one year passes...

stop the picnic apes

― Neanderthal, Tuesday, 10 January 2017 03:46 (eight years ago)

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