UK Watercooler Ten: Back In The Office Again

I'm scared of my inbox. :-(

And my mum has been on eBay again because there's some hideous stuffed monster arrived in the post today. How I can stop her SENDING me these things?

I have lots of stuff going on at the moment - stuff that's both good and scary at the same time - but I don't exactly want to talk about it here.

Oh, and I just broke the internal phone system completely. Fortunately that was only ten minutes of utter terror, because after a hard reset and a backup it recovered.

Sigh.

I just wish the depression would break already, I'm just fed up and sick of this and refuse to go back on the happy pills. :-(

Some new friends have invited me out somewhere on Saturday night - I think I told you about that. But, additionally, someone I've been chatting to online has invited me to go and stay with them for a couple of nights, later this week. This is both good and scary. And complicated. Very complicated.

(I get the feeling they fancy me, and want to get their hands on me before I go out Saturday night in case I get snapped up by someone else whilst I'm out)

My mood gets fowler. My boss came over and dumped the new, improved list of CRAP what needs done on me.

And I'm trying to move rehearsal off tonight as I don't even know what time I will get out, but everyone is going away next weekend. :-(

If you don't liek that bit, you *really* shouldn't read the email I've just sent you :-P

http://www.findaproperty.com/library/libp3640.jpg

And leave my mispelling alone¬! :-(

(and the famous failure "Fowler's Ghost", his attempt at a fireless engine for the Underground)

:-(

Fuck everyone and everything. Why did I leave my flat?

*hug*

Sorry, I'm making no sense. I should get back to work so I can get out at a reasonable hour tonight.

I wish I could blame it on the stress and the pressure of being back here, but in a way I'm relieved to be back in the office. Whatever, I'm going to try to stop thinking about stuff that winds me up and depresses me.

I wish I could be happy about the band and stuff that's happening for us, but I feel so excluded from it lately, like I'm just the Fat One That Writes All the Songs and should go away and shut up and stop spoiling everyone else's fun or something.

Anyway, your thing sounds, erm... interesting, FP. It will be great fun for you all round, anwyay.

Mmm, I know that feeling far too well.

Anyway, your thing sounds, erm... interesting, FP. It will be great fun for you all round, anwyay.

Well, I hope so.

I should probably get someone to phone me a couple of times whilst I'm away, Just In Case. I'm confident it *will* be safe, but it's still sensible.

and I know that's not what's happenning now, but it's hard to break the patterns of feeling like The Fat One Who Writes All The Songs and who Never Gets The Boy, Ever, because the boys like the pretty, skinny bandmates.

And it just makes me feel worse about being so badly affected by the depression, that evening, because I was invited to go along, but didn't, because I was too badly depressed to be in the company of people so instead I went home and drank myself to sleep.

And god, aren't you all glad that I'm back, little ray of sunshine that I am, with my traumas and my horrors and my stupid self sabotaguing self aggrandising hissy fits and self manufatured drama queen "problems".

God, I wish I had a hammer, I'd smash my skull with it, because at least that would stop the depressionheadache.

I'm feeling soooo tired today, although I'm in a good mood - it was a good productive weekend! And I started my fitness regime yesterday. The 10 minute run was the hardest thing anyone has ever had to do ever in the history of the world ever, but it means that I'm starting to get fit, which is a good thing. Just need to keep it up now.

Kate, don't be sad! I've sent you a little package in the post this morning to cheer you up.

Better than a kitten: here's Fowler's Ghost, as mentioned upthread:

http://www.dself.dsl.pipex.com/MUSEUM/LOCOLOCO/fowler/fowler2.jpg

http://www.dself.dsl.pipex.com/MUSEUM/LOCOLOCO/fowler/fowlerga2.gif

I tried going for a fitness walk yesterday - I had to pause and have a rest to get up the common, I was so out of shape. And then I got distracted by the flowers in the Rookery.

I resolved to do the same thing every morning, but I couldn't face it when I got out of bed.

x-post, awwww.

Friday and Monday: nothing at all! Lazing around at home.

http://www.incorporeal.org/files/images//uberkitten3_0.jpg

What colour were the flowers?

The usual daffodils and narcissuses and hyacinths and things, too.

And a rogue Rhodedenrum that didnt' seem to know what time of year it was.

What kind of car did you get in the end?

(xpost)

A smile has finally been raised and I have Geoffrey Chaucher Hath A Blog to thank, for this gem of myddel Inglische:

Bad-a-bynge, bad-a-boume!

And rehearsals keep moving about. Now it's back at mine again. I'm so confused. Someone shoot me, please. Put me out of my misery.

I'm very dissatisfied with my lunch. Hang the cook. Wait, it was me.

I still haven't had a cup of coffee yet. But I'm scared the machine coffee here will be revolting.

The mystery of the... thing is solved. It turns out it was a "hippopatamus" and it's for my mum, not me. For some reason, I always thought she had taste, but this makes me doubt this.

I am on my own in my office today. This isn't necessarily a good thing, because I have little motivation to actually do anything. Instead I'm surfing the web, reading ILX, updating the blog, and things along those lines.

(time to brew up another cup of tea, I think)

Nice City Boy? That's an oxymoron, I think. Then again, what do I no? I got some weird message from a dating site I forgot to unregister from a bloke who looks just like Prince Edward. Errr... Yeah, bollocks to skinny indie boys. Bollocks to all boys. Except for, erm, the lovely boys of the Watercooler. Unless you like that sort of thing.

"you look so unhappy" is a weird thing to say - but then again, if it gets you out of parental hell, it's fine. Now I wish I'd gone somewhere for my holidays, but where the heck would I go? Maybe I'll hire a National Trust cottage for the next one. Sigh.

Tea. What a brilliant idea. Actually, I'm nearly out of tea. I should go and buy some for rehearsal, but then again...

I was quite embarrassed as there were all these CL's open on my bed when my upstairs neighbour dropped by yesterday. But then she confessed that she's totally addicted to Elle Deco in the same pr0ny sort of way.

And there's paintcans everywhere. Help.

I think I'm going outside for a bit. Honest.

was that the sports journalist one? i COULD NOT FOLLOW HER CONVERSATION AT ALL however hard i tried (apart from the bit about egypt, but even then i didn't know if she was talking about the same person all the time or if she was switching people and i didn't get what he/they had to do with it anyway).

was it me or her?

Tea is better than coffee anyway.

...unless of course, I write back to Prince Edward.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1945000/images/_1948219_prince_edward.jpg

I mean, I'm a royalist and all, but I don't want lizard spunk anywhere near me.

http://mathworld.wolfram.com/Torus.html

I'm cheerful because I spotted someone on A Specialist Messageboard using an obscure Belle And Sebastian lyric as their post signature.

Logically (without really doing the maths) I would think that a big thin donut would have more dough than a small fat one. So what was the result you came up with?

sat up late last night, depressed by a/ill wife and b/child's current autistic mental fog. put on headphones & wrote 5m piece of music based on scraping clonking sounds made on wiard modular vactrol filter. listened to it over and over again, 'till it sounded "right". It sounded great, but will listen to it again tonight, it probably sounds shit really. ugh, am fed up. kid will probably need coloured glasses to help tame his ASD-related hyperactivity & dyslexia. The glasses look cool, but cost 400 quid (w/consultation) and are basically a gigantic sign saying "this one is different to all the others". also, we're going to have to explain to him why he needs them, ie explain to 7yo child that his brain doesn't work properly, & because of this he needs to work harder that the other kids just to stay in the same place.

::sends along grooviness and good thoughts::

Pashmina that's harsh :( I hope the glasses help loads

"...not everyone's cup of tea..."

the spinning doughnut is a thing of joy. you can flick it with your mouse and it'll spin forever...

At the Notting Hill Arts Club as well. Cool. For some reason, even though it's the most horrible dump of a place, every time I go there I have an amazing time.

Anyway I have a question about databases that I don't want to post in a whole new thread because I'm embarrassed at having such a boring question, but this is a tolerant databasey kinda thread...

My work currently uses a series of Access databases for all sorts of things, as well as some Excel spreadsheets as databases. We have a new person who's going to dedupe it all – having copied all the info into Excel – then put it back into a new database. She's trying to decide between Access, ACT, a web-based database, etc. Almost everyone uses the info for different things, incl. making email and post mailing lists, keeping subscriber info, marketing, contact cross-referencing, etc. Almost everyone uses PCs except me. I've got a mac. I'd like her to use something open source, with easy front ends, which can be got at through PCs or Macs. What combinations of things can I recommend?

Linux, Apache, PHP, PostgreSQL

realise now that i should've posted BB:WDY? thread before america woke up and england left work. oh um. at least this way it'll die quietly.

Work is dead today. Much as I gripe about students, I like to at least have a few around.

I'm supposed to have the Work Experience kid today again, but I'm going to try to palm him off on some other department with lots of very tedious menial jobs to do.

I got him told off for constantly texting people when he was supposed to be listening to what I was telling him - and it turns out the *reason* he was constantly texting people was that one of his relatives is dangerously ill in hospital. Hmmm.

Argh. My parents are at it again, this time it's my dad just going and booking hotel rooms for me at his hotel EVEN THOUGH I have specifically told him that I'm not staying with either of them.

However, my brother just wrote, postponing the whole wedding. His fiance's mother has just died (been a rough year for her - her father died earlier this year) so understandably the whole thing has been put off for a while.

This probably sounds heartless, but it's kind of a wakeup call NOT to let this stupid infighting ruin my relationship with either parent - one day we'll wake up and they'll be dead, so need to put all the crap aside and just try to relate to them now.

Anyway, it's coffee day. When should I start? :-)

Definiteyl true in his case.

Though really, I just want coffee.

I have got to stop reading Secret Machines interviews. Brandon is just such a pretentious pseud, he's cracking me up.

UK Watercooler Eleven: A Holiday In Devon