Fundamentalists Say the Darndest Things!

if i had a dime, Myspace [Comments (7)]

":rolleyes: Actually, I can give you several valid reasons that aren't sexism why a woman being pastor isn't the best idea.

A. I think that a lot of women are way too emotional. Being a pastor is a huge responsibility, and most women aren't really emotionally capable of handling it.

B. Women can be mouthy. The pastor that we had at our church (the woman) was nothing but. She was just nasty to people. For example, a young couple in our church (that the woman despised) got pregnant out of marriage. The woman pastor told them if they didn't get married before the baby was born, if something happened to them, they would go to hell if they died. I don't know of a male pastor out there who would take personal feelings and use them to be that mean.

C. I think that a lot of times, women can become power-hungry moreso than men. Obviously this leads to some bad situations for many churches."

"There are MANY birth pains, but which one hurts the most inside?...for me, it's the folks who lose their virginity before marriage, it just hits me like a bullet. I KNOW a girl who got pregnant, had an abortion, and continues to lose virginity! It hurts SO bad!"

Lil' Preacher, Rapture Ready [Comments (18)]

AMAZING.

"Evolution, in order to be true must be like Relativity and "frames of reference for uniformly moving objects". In other words, it must apply to everything in our known universe and it must apply to all areas of science.

Unfortunately, I have yet to see where the laws of thermodynamics or the laws of physics "evolved". [...]

If these people would stand back and consider all of the elements, the plants, the animals, think about these items at the atomic level and then ask, "how in the world did this all work out?" with a mind towards probability, they will soon realize, as the gays should, that evolution is a big lie."

John Miller, Loudon Independent [Comments (24)]

The pig is the most shameless animal on the face of the earth. It is the only animal that invites its friends to have sex with its mate. In America, most people consume pork. Many times after dance parties, they have swapping of wives; i.e. many say "you sleep with my wife and I will sleep with your wife." If you eat pigs then you behave like pigs."

RobinWWJD, Rapture Ready [Comments (24)]

(I have never heard that line of argument before!)

THAT following night, after I did this ACT, I was visited by the Devil when I layed to sleep. "

Henoch, Rene's Homepage [Comments (31)]

Obviously a coldplay fan.

"[OMEGA7's view of hell]

For anyone who has studied the bible for over 35 years like I have

would easily know the HELL - GEHENNA - THE LAKE OF FIRE

is exacltly that , a Physical Lake of Fire fed by OIL and Gas

which is common in the Middle East.

Jesus said that the Pharasees would be Cast on the local Garbage Dump

where the Garbage and dead bodies were burnt.

After Armageddon there will be alot of Dead bodies and Armaments

that will have to be burnt. Those who go to the Lake of Fire will be

working there throwing in the Garbage. That is it .

There will be NO Tormenting of HUMANS just Hot sweaty workers."

OMEGA7, TheologyOnline [Comments (22)]

I think this was a pretty common pro-slavery argument before the civil war, actually.

This is actual wisdom, and has no place on that website.

God Ringtone
Send this ringtone to your phone right now, at no charge!

what must that sound like?

Unfortunately, I have yet to see where the laws of thermodynamics or the laws of physics "evolved". [...]

If these people would stand back and consider all of the elements, the plants, the animals, think about these items at the atomic level and then ask, "how in the world did this all work out?" with a mind towards probability, they will soon realize, as the gays should, that evolution is a big lie."

John Miller, Loudon Independent

http://www.davidicdance.com/images/burning%20bush1.jpg

quit saying jesus is gay because he is not

XxxGooxxX, OpenDiary.com

melbourne_guy, Catholic Answers Forums [Comments (20)]

And finally, the pterodactyl wing looks like the bat's wing to me, except the thumb and the first two fingers form a claw. Pterodactyls walked on their wings like bats and they had hairy bodies like bats. I'm not saying pterodactyls and bats are related species but they could be a kind. Both are birds according to the Bible."

MarkT, Christian Forums [Comments (30)]

I would consider bees and other flying insects 'birds' made after their kind ie. insects

The other animals are not ducks, rhinos, porcupines or elephants. The dolphin is a fish."

MarkT, Christian Forums [Comments (34)]

this guy won't let it drop.

Anonymous, The Revealer [Comments (12)]

"I remember once, before I was a christian, I was asleep, and woke up, but was kinda half asleep, or something, and I kept telling Satan that he was a b$@$ and f#$# him and stuff, then I kept feeling the bed shake like someone was puching me into the bed hard, the first time I thought it was funny, so I said it again, and it happend again, but I must have not liked it the second time because I didn't do it anymore, do you think this was a demon attack?"

BigChrisfilm, Christian Forums [Comments (22)]

LittleNipper, Christian Forums [Comments (16)]

"we have to incorporate god into our daily activities. if you masturbate then do it for god instead of for yourself since masturbation itself is not a sin."

Karikta, Christian Forums [Comments (31)]

Damn. I checked my lunch and it has 0% of the USRDA of Jesus.

It's quite simple."

AnotherAlias, Christian Forums [Comments (21)]

aldo's tomatoes one is an elegantly stated point, actually?

I don't blame anyone for being abused. Of course that's not your fault. But what I'm trying to say is that if you walk out into a street, you're at the risk of being hit by a car. It's not your fault you got hit by the car but I mean....you were in the middle of the street."

†1987©asey†, Myspace [Comments (15)]

RaverMutt, LunarMagazine.com [Comments (24)]

Can't argue that!

for all we know there could be sea monsters swimming on the sun right now.

Having evolved from comet fragments to fit their own particular geology.
"

BloodoftheLamb, Rapture Ready [Comments (24)]

Maybe not a chastity belt (not very practical/hygienic) but there are other devices you can get. My fiance has one, it goes round the base of his xxxxx and just sits there until he gets aroused, then it has teeth that stick in and hurt him so he turns his mind to something else. Plus, for obvious reasons it can't be removed by a guy who's in that condition.

Personally I think it's terrible that he has to wear that thing, it hurts him a lot at times and he bleeds, but we're sharing a home together now and not married and we've promised each other nothing immoral will happen and he feels it's the only way he can keep on the right path
"

Marie O's, Christian Forums [Comments (48)]

HolyGuardianAngels, Christian Forums [Comments (21)]

Those pesky Aztecs!

Diane!, Bibleforums.org [Comments (25)]

Gwenyfur, Christian Forums [Comments (16)]

AnotherAlias, Christian Forums [Comments (21)]

Joey, Myspace [Comments (19)]

Help, I've been persecuted by late night shows and one episode of Family Guy!

otm, that's half of where the humor in these comes from

Let's do *our part* and find a best-of A. Nairn.

kingzjewel, Christian Forums [Comments (17)]

This one just stuck with me. As if there's a dog or a chimp out there watching the pig going "that's fucking gross, guy."