Cigarettes Are Sublime

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There is something uniquely edifying about the art of cigarette smoking, a sort of statement of connection with the institutions of the English countryside, the public school, social relations, family life, and Brian Perkins. When one engages in the gloriously civilised and healthy act of cigarette smoking, one feels in touch with the ground and the thrill of the hunt, as Simon Le Bon nearly sang, except of course he only appeared to be "singing" it in public, and was actually miming the words of an anonymous proletarian "session musician", as with Neil Tennant.

The craft of cigarette smoking - a moment of profound affinity with England as a palimpsest upon which all kinds of relationships with fellow upstanding white citizens, as long as they are from the same social background as oneself, can be founded - is frequently under attack from those same sources who regard homosexuality and feminism as acceptable and natural states for fine people of English blood, and who are prepared to accept the words of an irritatingly politically-correct blonde Jewish American woman on the subject of the Second World War above the words regarding the same tragic conflict spoken by an English public school man who committed the mortal sin of preferring "Dixon of Dock Green" to "Hill Street Blues". The enemies of smoking, having no actual medical justification for the politically-motivated "facts" they present claiming that it is a serious risk to health, actually have no agenda other than to destroy the connection of our glorious people with their land, and to persuade us all to eat the supposedly healthy "junk food" perveyed by the McDonalds company, which is, unlike cigarettes, aimed at a young generation already deprived by the fact that the "breakfast show" on "Radio One" - that the BBC has come to such things! - is no longer presented by a man who has heard of Sir John Betjeman, is a more serious risk to health than cigarettes have ever been, has a worse effect on life expectancy than cigarettes, and, unlike cigarettes, has a seriously corrosive effect on social relations and family life, without which our great land would be overrun by hordes of maurading Danish vikings who have taken over control of the European Union in a coup which Herr Schroder and M. Jospin have as yet kept from the public. "Fast food" simply encourages the British people to lose themselves in a meaningless morass of satellite television, "pop" videos, and general trash culture, whereas cigarettes lead the British to reconnect with the land, to farm, to sing, to dance around maypoles, and to listen to everything on Radio 4, apart from political programmes that I have not been invited to appear upon.

The Socialist Prime Minister Anthony Blair is himself known to be a firm opponent of cigarette smoking. It is well-known among those who frequent inner meetings of the Socialist Party in London - malodorous internationalised city that it has become - that Mr. Blair and his friends discuss the elimination of cigarette smoking regularly, because they, rightly, consider it to be a key foundation stone of the decent, conservative England that they openly wish to destroy. The more people eat "fast food", the easier will it be for Mr. Blair to get his wish. When the Conservative Party was in power, throughout history until 1965 and again from 1978 until 1995, we had a fine policy of sticking to ourselves as an island race, quite unlike the decision of the Socialist Government of 1989 to allow "MTV" to be carried via "satellite dishes" upon this country.

The banning of foxhunting and the state-sponsored murder of fine servants of the Royal Ulster Constabulary is directly comparable to the banning of cigarette smoking: both are dangerous attacks on traditional freedoms brought about by an increasingly tyrannical and uncontrollable statist Socialist government. My wife and I shall continue, for the foreseeable future until Dr. Blair sends 10 members of the once-great British Army to murder us, to give our decent and unbiased advice to fine British island institutions such as Japan Tobacco International from our farmhouse industry in our Wiltshire cottage, the small, local scale and deep connection with the land of our business making us inherently completely different from the metropolitan Quislings of the wider public affairs industry. I shall also be publishing a new book about the obvious conspiracy orchestrated by Miss Estelle Morris for Prince William to meet the popular singer Britney Spears, therefore finally bringing even more unsuitable blood than that of the proletarian Diana Spencer into the British royal house, and bringing this fine ancestry to its ignominous close, just as the current Communist Government wish it to.

Thank you for your attention.

Regards,

tally-ho!,

Roger Scruton.

P.S. If nobody else wants it, can we have the giant statue of Maggie to scare the hippies off our farm?

Roger Scruton, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You are my new hero.

Ally, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The perfect opportunity to post my all-time fave article on smoking!! Ahh the wait pays off. Apologies to Brian or Matty (or both) for beating them to the punch:

http://www.salon.com/health/feature/2000/02/08/i_smoke/index.html

Pyth, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Blimey first the bloke from Jurassic 5 and now Roger Muthafuckin Scruton - where will this google madness end?!

Tom, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Does tobacco smoking always have to be associated with the right?

DG, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dude, it's not like England is the only place where people smoke. If you lived in a normal country you could shoot the hippies off your farm.

Kris, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

We could still shoot the hippies off our land had the current Socialist Government not banned the posession of guns in their obsessive desire to control our every waking moment.

I remember, incidentally, when one of the aforementioned hippies who attempted to colonise the countryside away from its true owners was made the mayoress of Aberystwyth, which tells you all you need to know about the spiritual and mental weakness of the Welsh people.

Roger Scruton, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dude! That sounds like my post from last week, heh heh heh.

DG, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i didn't know chris herbert had started smoking.

ethan, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i have nothing against smoking, but this was the next thing i saw after reading (and laughing with) yr message:

(from www.globeandmail.com)

Gzowski dead at 67

Peter Gzowski was one of Canada's best-loved radio personalities

By JOHN SAUNDERS Globe and Mail Update

Peter Gzowski, whose tobacco-cured radio voice helped to give English- speaking Canada a sense of itself, died Thursday, apparently of the effects of a three-pack-a-day habit he kicked less than two years ago. He was 67.

As host of the CBC's This Country in the Morning in the early 1970s and then Morningside for 15 seasons in the 1980s and 1990s, he became one of the nation's best-loved broadcasters, projecting an affectionate view of Canada as a place of down-to-earth, often quirky but generally reasonable people.

A heavy smoker most of his life, he spent his last year hooked up to what he called a stroller loaded with an oxygen tank. He suffered from emphysema, in which the lungs lose elasticity and capacity to feed oxygen to the blood, causing shortness of breath and difficulty in exhaling.

Paul barclay, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You are a cad and a blackguard, Scruton. I knew your father at Eton and had him horsewhipped by my stable boys, and will do the same to you, mark my words.

Your patriotism is a hollow sham. A true Englishman of any breeding smokes only a pipe or a damn good cigar. Cigarettes are for women and servants. As for Thatcher, not only was she a woman, her politics, compared with those of King Edward VII or Lord Haw Haw, were craven commie tosh -- like yours, you scoundrel.

Back to Birkbeck with you, you permissive cur!

Momus, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

momus, you are my new hero. i lack the gravitas to pull off pulling on a pipe, except when lifting myself from the ground. i shall give it another try in five years or so.

with any luck i might have grown a beard by then.

another james, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Scruton's dad was a serious socialist and a farmworker (or something untelegraphish anyway). RS's first "novel" is all abt how he RS fancied some daughter of the local gentry but was unable to have her as he was mucky prole scum by birth.

mark s, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

is roger scruton a real person? has he ever met billy childish?

paul barclay, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

to answer my own question:

he has his own website so he must be!

his most cited paper returned by web of science (probably not the best source):

EXPRESSIONIST EDUCATION SCRUTON R OXFORD REVIEW OF EDUCATION 13 (1): 39-44 1987

Document type: Article Language: English Cited References: 0 Times Cited: 4

Addresses: SCRUTON R, UNIV LONDON,BIRKBECK COLL,DEPT PHILOSOPHY,MALET ST,LONDON WC1,ENGLAND Publisher: CARFAX PUBL CO, ABINGDON

IDS Number: G3372

ISSN: 0305-4985

paul barclay, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i have given up as a protest to the 3rd term of the howard government, adn the 70 dollars required per week to smoke.

goeff, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

$70 a week??? Even at my most puffingest I was only up to $50 or so. I salute you, sir.

electric sound of jim, Thursday, 24 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i fucking hate the smell of fag smoke.

Alan Trewartha, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one of the great things about cigarette smoking is the way it kills your sense of smell, with the result that many smokers never wash and have a delicately fragrant aroma of their own.

DV, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hey Rog! Eric Griffiths wants me to tell you to stop leaving hang-up messages on his answering machine -- he knows its you.

Michael Daddino, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

it was cos I smoked b&h or camel - they're the only decent 16mgs on sale in Oz after the killed the mrlboros

goeff, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Wasn't Roger Scruton the Headmaster in the Adrian Mole books?

I think yes is the answer.

Ronan, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There was an item in yesterday's Guardian about Scruton being commissioned to write pro-smoking articles in 'major publications' by some Japanese tobacco company. But this has got to be a spoof (Robin?).

David Inglesfield, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

David is right here - the Scruton pisstakes here, and on other threads, were my work, inspired by the Guardian piece he mentions. Did you guess, Momus? I actually knew the aspect of Scruton's background that Mark S mentions and have always considered his inferiority complex resulting from it as perhaps the key motivation for his extraordinary snobbery and anti-modernism.

The headmaster in the Mole books = *Reginald* Scruton, who I always thought had been named by Sue Townsend in reference to Roger S, played by Freddie Jones in the 1985 TV adaptation as a memorable Thatcher-worshipping grotesque. "Shut up, Braithwaite!"

Robin Carmody, Saturday, 26 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

David is right here - the Scruton pisstakes here, and on other threads, were my work

Well knock me down with a feather.

N., Monday, 28 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

N.'s skinniness is such that in his case this phrase stops being a cliché and becomes a statement of fact.

Edna Welthorpe, Mrs, Monday, 28 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two years pass...
Wow! I've never seen this thread before.

@d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 7 April 2004 19:42 (twenty-one years ago)

three years pass...

Good times.

I'm actually re-reading that 'Cigarettes are Sublime' book that came out some years go.

baaderonixx, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 15:15 (eighteen years ago)

one year passes...

http://www.philosophypress.co.uk/?p=15

“I have actually been listening to quite a bit of heavy metal lately, and Metallica, I think, is genuinely talented. ‘Master of Puppets’ I think has got something genuinely both poetic – violently poetic – and musical. Every now and then something like that stands out and you can see that people have got no other repertoire and have a very narrow range of expression, but they’ve hit on something where they are saying something which is not just about themselves. Pop music is so concentrated on the self and the performer that it’s very rare that that happens, I think. It never happens with Oasis or The Verve. It did happen much more of course with the Beatles, and in the old American songbook, Hoagy Carmichael and Cole Porter and all that. That was a popular music which was about communication of often quite gentle feelings. So I’m not as prejudiced as I seem. I would like to be more prejudiced because it would prevent me from listening to this stuff.”

Freedom, Tuesday, 28 April 2009 16:07 (sixteen years ago)

five months pass...

so very many today

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 4 October 2009 02:57 (sixteen years ago)

i feel i am becoming a real smoker as i got up and wanted a cigarette

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 4 October 2009 02:57 (sixteen years ago)

$70 a week??? Even at my most puffingest I was only up to $50 or so. I salute you, sir.

― electric sound of jim, Thursday, January 24, 2002 12:00 PM (7 years ago)

a lot changed in 7 years! a pack a day would be closer to $100 now

i'm the unban spaceman (electricsound), Sunday, 4 October 2009 02:58 (sixteen years ago)

really? i go through a carton a week, and it's only $60 - and the brand i buy is on the expensive side.

somewhere a poll is missing its wacky write-in vote (sarahel), Sunday, 4 October 2009 03:00 (sixteen years ago)

what is brand!

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 4 October 2009 03:00 (sixteen years ago)

American Spirits

somewhere a poll is missing its wacky write-in vote (sarahel), Sunday, 4 October 2009 03:02 (sixteen years ago)

haven't all you tripsters switched to rollies by now

ian, Sunday, 4 October 2009 03:03 (sixteen years ago)

$60 for a carton of american spirits is amazing

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 4 October 2009 03:15 (sixteen years ago)

they're perpetually on sale for that (a little bit less than that, actually) at Walgreen's around here.

somewhere a poll is missing its wacky write-in vote (sarahel), Sunday, 4 October 2009 03:20 (sixteen years ago)

god I remember when a carton of smokes cost like twenty bucks. lol nineties.

dr. johnson (askance johnson), Sunday, 4 October 2009 03:22 (sixteen years ago)

yeah so do i.

somewhere a poll is missing its wacky write-in vote (sarahel), Sunday, 4 October 2009 03:23 (sixteen years ago)

i remember when i was in highschool, i could get a gallon and a half of gas and a pack of cigarettes for $5.

somewhere a poll is missing its wacky write-in vote (sarahel), Sunday, 4 October 2009 03:25 (sixteen years ago)

dag

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 4 October 2009 03:27 (sixteen years ago)

my parents didn't know i smoked until i was in college, so when they'd give me $5 for gas to go to Santa Cruz to go used book/record shopping, and i'd buy just enough gas to get there and back, and could buy a pack of cigarettes with the difference.

somewhere a poll is missing its wacky write-in vote (sarahel), Sunday, 4 October 2009 03:28 (sixteen years ago)

they were really shitty generic brand cigarettes - but the gas station wouldn't card me. I actually got carded at that gas station a few years ago when I bought cigarettes there while visiting my parents.

somewhere a poll is missing its wacky write-in vote (sarahel), Sunday, 4 October 2009 03:30 (sixteen years ago)

Smoking starts out as sublime, then it becomes merely enjoyable, and then necessary, and finally a chore. This can be a cycle, too. Especially if you "quit" for like two weeks.

Alex Android (Viceroy), Sunday, 4 October 2009 03:31 (sixteen years ago)

i've never found it a chore. sometimes it's been a chore to orchestrate a cigarette break at past jobs

somewhere a poll is missing its wacky write-in vote (sarahel), Sunday, 4 October 2009 03:33 (sixteen years ago)

have you been smoking for over ten years?

Alex Android (Viceroy), Sunday, 4 October 2009 03:36 (sixteen years ago)

between 18 and 19 years

somewhere a poll is missing its wacky write-in vote (sarahel), Sunday, 4 October 2009 03:37 (sixteen years ago)

Wow. Maybe some people never experience that "over-smoked" feeling.

Alex Android (Viceroy), Sunday, 4 October 2009 03:41 (sixteen years ago)

i experience it as a non-smoker! when i am around too much smoke.

tehresa, Sunday, 4 October 2009 03:42 (sixteen years ago)

oh there are definitely times when i feel like i'm smoking too much or have smoked too much - generally in social situations where a lot of other people are smoking, too, and drinking.

somewhere a poll is missing its wacky write-in vote (sarahel), Sunday, 4 October 2009 03:44 (sixteen years ago)

For me it eventually became a permanent feeling except for the first morning smoke. I suppose it was for that reason that it wasn't too hard for me to quit.

Alex Android (Viceroy), Sunday, 4 October 2009 03:47 (sixteen years ago)

quitting is one of those things i know i will have to contend with at some point in the future, but i'm not looking forward to it.

somewhere a poll is missing its wacky write-in vote (sarahel), Sunday, 4 October 2009 03:49 (sixteen years ago)

I only smoked for a year, and quitting was almost impossible for me! Now the only time I miss it is with my morning coffee, and sometimes when I'm reading.

challop of ghouls (CharlieS), Sunday, 4 October 2009 06:20 (sixteen years ago)

I'm 36 and I've never had a drag of a tobacco cigarette.

Nate Carson, Sunday, 4 October 2009 06:40 (sixteen years ago)

Tonight I realized I have been smoking for more than half of my life. And after reading this thread, I do remember when cigarettes were 2.25 a pack. Seriously I should quit.

Jacob Sanders, Sunday, 4 October 2009 08:20 (sixteen years ago)

I haven't smoked for a good-ish while now, and have no desire to (thoracic surgery will do that to a man I guess) but goddam I miss the cigarettes you have when

1) Having a break in writing something, or any form of mental exertion. The smoking of the cigarette provides a much needed mental relaxtion, but you are focused, in an abstracted sort of way, on the smoking of the cigarette, so your mind doesn't start thinking about other things (this place is a tip, do I want a drink? I really ought to this, I must do that), and because the smoking of the cigarette is of a fixed length, things like staring out of the window do not end up using half the day. Quite often new ideas will occur during the smoking of this cigarette, and even if not, you return to work with the mental fibres suitably relaxed.

2) Smoking while reading in a pub. Accepted this would no longer be possible anyway, but pint and book feels slightly self-conscious, and you can't really look up from the book without catching people's eyes. Pint, cigarette and a book however, and if you want to have a momentary break from reading or a brief moment of contemplation you can look at the wreaths of smoke and take a pull on your pint quite happily, still in your internal world. Especially effective in a dark pub on a sunny day.

3) After a meal, the perfect digestif, the burnt tobacco and puffs of smoke a handy moment of relaxation but also preparation (for other activity, or the start of drinking, rather than drinking and eating). Cuts through the last, lingering tastes of richness still in the mouth, which can, if left there too long, sour. All good things must come to an end.

4) Popping out for a stroll and a cigarette at night. I seem to do this less having stopped smoking - possibly the cigarette gave it sufficient purpose to impel me from out my domicile.

I'm sure there are more, but these are the ones that I really miss. I don't miss the post exercise/sex cigarette, which although pleasant at times, I think are overrated. Nor do I miss the first of the day, which too often had me running for the toilet (once causing an extreme crisis on a torrential day in Berlin), or brought about a day of indolence, through the undue slackening of the nerves.

I suppose I might include the

5) Meeting people cigarette, especially girls I suppose, but also work colleagues (from all levels), and indeed random people. I'm sure this is my fault, but I just find it harder to do without.

GamalielRatsey, Sunday, 4 October 2009 08:52 (sixteen years ago)

Now I miss smoking.

thomp, Sunday, 4 October 2009 08:55 (sixteen years ago)

Seriously!

challop of ghouls (CharlieS), Sunday, 4 October 2009 08:57 (sixteen years ago)

xxxpost - this post was paid for by Phillip Morris.

Nate Carson, Sunday, 4 October 2009 10:35 (sixteen years ago)

four years pass...

Real Cig Reviews

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoJkHt3IJt8#t=78

sXe & the banshees (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 24 February 2014 18:12 (twelve years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoJkHt3IJt8#t=78

"I don't know about rich, but definitely smooth and mellow"

sXe & the banshees (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 24 February 2014 18:12 (twelve years ago)

I love cigarettes and really wish they weren't catastrophically unhealthy. I haven't had one for months.

Treeship, Monday, 24 February 2014 18:24 (twelve years ago)

four years pass...

Working on my French inhale

calstars, Saturday, 30 June 2018 01:53 (seven years ago)

cigarettes are great. i'll smoke one for ya tonight cal

music saved my life (Ross), Saturday, 30 June 2018 02:48 (seven years ago)

I feel extremely fortunate that I can smoke them on occasion - like, if I happen to be hanging out with friends who smoke - without ever buying my own packs. I've known people who can't sleep through the night without one.

Simon H., Saturday, 30 June 2018 03:02 (seven years ago)

smoking 1-2 packs a day here, but your arrangement sounds ideal

Y'all (Ross), Saturday, 30 June 2018 03:02 (seven years ago)

i find cigarettes meditational tbh

Y'all (Ross), Saturday, 30 June 2018 03:02 (seven years ago)

I once got up to 5-6 smokes a day w/ my own packs (I picked it up working in kitchens, like so many others) but my asthmatic tendencies made me feel like shit constantly when I hit the upper limit, which really helped to keep it at bay as a consistent habit.

Simon H., Saturday, 30 June 2018 03:12 (seven years ago)

jealous

Y'all (Ross), Saturday, 30 June 2018 03:16 (seven years ago)


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