It's the most open title race ever.....

I'm tired of having Petes "Oh, it's Arsenals year without a doubt" hitting my line of vision every time I look at the other one.

Blimey, did he work with an an old school Marxist model or develop something more complex?

I have Peterborough I do.

My favourite memory of London Road (best named ground in the league) is when one of my friends had to be led bleeding from the terraces in need of first aid. What gross act of Carragheresque terrace badness had occurred, you ask? He had run into the back of a local bus as he was making his way to the ground. Arf!

Please can we can call it a 'missile' and not just a coin. It's the correct footballing terminology.

If throwing things into the crowd is considered a lesser offence than throwing things onto the pitch, that's an outrage.

If they were throwing it back in thoughtless retaliation at someone chucking at them, and they were clearly regretful of what they'd done, yes. I know it was stupid but I don't think it was malicious.

If Chris did it though, life ban. That man's a menace.

He's right by the way, I am a menace.

I think they should make the culprit do a one-season stint as the Tottenham mascot.

Oh shit that'd be just the Liverpool team as it is.

Jesus these are the same people who were saying Murphys goal was just luck last week.

Yes, you have. Arsenal and Newcastle still the two sides capable of overhauling Man U by virtue of game-in-hand. Leeds blew it tonight. Liverpool stay in the hunt with a goal by... oh no, that can't be right.

So, er, why has Xavier moved across Stanley Park then? Is it just a bid for immortality alongside the mighty Dave Hickson (and N*ck B*rm*y)? Does he like living in the area and just fancies a spot on the bench and a more secure wage? Bit of a puzzle.

1.It's all about goalscoring midfielders. Who has them and who hasn't is what will decide this thing. Arsenal have (Freddie L, Pires for example) and Man U have (little Scholesy, Giggs, Keane, Beckham). All sides have reasonable defences and strikers who can score regularly* (*with some provisos later).

2. Have you noticed how everyone is playing 'narrower' now? Utd don't always play Becks and Giggsy, Liverpool go for a compact midfield except when Owen isn't playing, Arsenal are trying Wiltord on the RHS, and Newcastle had Robert on the bench and a very defensive looking midfield v Spurs. Could it be due to heavier pitches?

3. More on Liverpool. Can't win it because only Owen can score regularly. The 'compact midfield' with 3 from Hamann, Gerrard, Murphy, Gary Mac doesn't seem to get forward enough. The formation with Smicer and Berger wider, as used last night is probably supposed to provide crosses for Anelka and Heskey, but doesn't work because A+ H channel wide too often forcing the midfield out of shape. Wright looks handy at the back. Dudek is the best keeper in the premiership. Buying Xavier was nuts!

4. Newcastle. Seem to spread the goals around, but will fall back if Shearer and/or Bellamy get crocked. Their target man + runner combination works really well.

5. Man U are still weaker at the back than most other contenders, but will prevail thru sheer weight of goals. Injuries will affect them less due to proven reserve strength + Forlan to come.

6. Leeds - out of it, unless a miracle. Too many injuries. Bowyer stopped scoring.

7. Chelsea. 5th or 6th. No goals from midfield. Vulnerable if Einar or Jimmy Floyd get crocked.

8. The resurrection of Bergkamp might swing things the way of Arsenal - unless mentalist Wenger starts to pick the useless Kanu again when the sun starts shining. The disciplinary problems won't hurt them. They never do.

So, sadly conventionally I have to say Arsenal or Man U will win it.

At the bottom Leicester and Bolton will go. Gregory will haul Derby clear and I still stick to my 'outsider' theory for the last place. It'll be one of West Ham, Everton or even Sunderland.

Still hoping against hope that a team in red will not win the title. Newcastle have two vital games inside a week in early March (Arsenal home, Liverpool away), but after that you'd fancy them to win six of their last nine at least. If still in touch post-Anfield, they could do it.

EFC possibly on the mend; Ipswich home game crucial, then three nasties in a row around the Cup match. I see LFC have scored less goals at home than we have - bizarre. Xavier's fee = Adrian Heath's when signing from Stoke City in '82. I bet he spends more in a trip to the hairdressers than Inchy was paid in a week though.

Now we're into the final three months of the campaign, perhaps time to start crossing off some names... and Leeds Utd are the first to go.

I can comfort myself with the unoriginal notion that these crunch fixtures all ultimately cancel themselves out, and what really matters is consistency against the mid-tablers and the drop-zone strugglers (an area where Liverpool have been poor recently). Unfortunately, that just leaves us with the prospect of another Man U title (defeated h&a by Lpool, lost at St James's, Highbury, whipped by Chelsea at home; but goal-riots vs every bugger else).

Urgent and Key: Everton have Leeds, Liverpool and Arsenal in their next three games - will they drop into the bottom three?

This is what I meant by 'three nasties'. I mean, they don't get any nastier. Best possible time to play Leeds and I fancy us at Anfield. Arsenal will thrash us. I'd cross-reference this with a quick peek at Boro, Blackburn & Bolton's fixtures, but I'm too scared. Ipswich defeat a very, very bad thing indeed.

Will most likely be going to Oxford: it all rather depends on whether we still have a football club or not. Wages unpaid, crippling debts etc etc. I'm very worried. It gets a lot nastier than brushes with relegation.

On a lighter note, I have it in the back of my mind that the Oxford game is a "suited and booted" game for our travelling fans (note: this is better than ladies' day).

Also Canniggia to be recalled by Argentina?? No wonder Jardel is threatening to quit footy unless he gets called up for Brazil, cos lets face it, there should be a fair few Argentinian forwards ahead of coked up Claudio. Gallardo, Riquelme, Batistuta, Saviola to name but 4. aahhhhhh Saviola.

Tim, then I may well come along, I need some good, honest football.

Taylor looks silly in comparison, somehow.

Hooray, more bans for Arsenal personnel, more bitterness from Wenger and O'Leary, hooray.

Tim, if I can't get good and honest I'll settle for hoofing and dirty.

Anyway....

Cameroon's German coach Winfried Schafer was involved in amazing scenes at the African Nations Cup as his assistant was handcuffed and had his trousers pulled down by the Mali police.

Schafer, 51 and with a shock of blonde hair not unlike that of Spinal Tap's David St. Hubbins (see above), was apprehended together with goalkeeping coach Thomas Nkono as they wandered onto the pitch at the March 26 Stadium prior Cameroon's semi-final match against the host nation.

Around 10 riot police sprinted onto the pitch and began to manhandle the pair, knocking Nkono to the ground and dragging him onto the running track around the pitch before handcuffing him.

As Nkono was led down the players tunnel, he is said to have had his tracksuit bottoms pulled down around his ankles as a stunned Schafer urged photographers to record the scene.

It is likely that the police took exception to what they perceived as a black magic ritual by the Cameroon pair after an object was retrieved from the ground where Schafer and his assistant had been standing.

I presume its bullshit, however I choose to believe the Djorkaeff to Liverpool rumours.

Lead story on p301 of Ceefax - that's how I found out about it, switching over from the Davis Cup tennis. Well, I've always liked him and it is the Goodison Way to wait until these gifted performers have matured. With the retirement of Gough, we were in danger of letting the squad's average age dip below 32, so this is a massive boost.