Most bizarre emails in my hotmail inbox evah

Sorry.

Hi Honey. How are you? I loved your card, it was sooo cute! I miss ya already. I can't really talk I have to back to class for a little while. Just wanted to say that I love You! Call me today if you get this, if not I will try to get a hold of you at 8:00. -Luv ya Charlie XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Hi, My name is Tessa. I know that this is random, but I'm searching for another copy of Dean Young's poem "Instructions for Living" because I'm thinking of writing a paper on it, but all I have is a copy that I copied down in my handwriting, and I want to make sure that I have all the right words etc. So I searched on Yahoo and found a poetry thread where you said that you had a copy in an anthology, so I was wondering if you could send me an email with the poem in it? Thanks, Tessa Barber

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Fortunately, I had typed it out for someone else.

Dear Pepe Le Pew webmaster, After I did did visit your Pepe Le Pew website at here! I wanna ask you if you could place a link or box to our Pepe Le Pew e- card service.

Also, got orders for Cocoacake.

my friend saw the bigger one in superdrug in livingston.

today i received this. WTF?

"Sister & Brother"

REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

First, I must solicit your confidence in this transaction. This is by virtue of its nature as being utterly confidential and top secret.Hence,it is neccessary for you to assure us of your ability and to prosecute this transaction of great magnitude involving a pending business transaction requiring maximum confidence.

We are top officials of the Federal Government Contract Review Panel who are interested in importation of goods into our country with funds which are presently trapped in Nigeria. In order to commence this business we solicit your assistance to enable us transfer into your account the said trapped funds.

The source of this fund is as follows: During the past Military Regimes here in Nigeria, government officials set up companies and awarded themselves contract which were grossly over-invoiced in various Ministries. As a result, the Democratic Government of Chief Olusegun Obasanjo deemed it neccessary to set up a Contract Review Panel to investigate and recommend accordingly. After a thorough investigation, we discovered a lot of inflated contract funds which are presently floating in the Central Bank of Nigeria. We (members) have unanimously agreed to transfer part of these funds to a foreign account However, by virtue of our position as civil servants and members of this Panel, we cannot acquire this money in our names. I have therefore, been delegated as a matter of trust by my colleagues in the Panel to look for an Overseas partner into whose account we would transfer the sum of US$26,400,000.00 (Twenty Six Million, Four Hundred Thousand US. Dollars). Adequate logistics and strategies had been worked out to ensure a successful transfer with your maximum co-operation. Hence we are writing you this letter.

We have agreed to share the money thus: 1. 25% for the account owner (you) 2. 65% for us (the officials) 3. 10% to be used in settling taxation and all local and foreign expenses.

We wish to commence the importation business with our own share, please note that this transaction is 100% safe and we hope to commence and conclude the transfer latest in ten (10) banking days from the date of receipt of the following information through the above e-mail: your current tel/fax number, your name/company name and address.

The above information will enable us write letters of claim and job description respectively and these will be used to apply for payment and doing business with you and solicit your confidentiality in this transaction. Please acknowledge the receipt of this mail as soon as possible. I will bring you into the complete picture of this project when I have heard from you.

Yours Faithfully,

DR. AKANIYENEH MANDU

You have been referred to us to be entered into our FREE Postlaunch Program by one of our VIP members, thereby also gaining you a FREE membership into The Discount Home Shoppers' Club (The DHS Club). To be referred to Postlaunch and become a FREE member, you must have either sent one of our VIP members an email requesting to join or signed up at one of their websites. If you have not done so, please accept my apology and refer to the information at the bottom of this email.

Er, right. I must have done one of those two things to have become a FREE member, but if I haven't (and I haven't) they're sorry. It just happened by magic.

27/2/02 [18:50] - from Gisle G Sorli:

Thank you for joining the DHS Club. My name is Gisle Sorli and I am your sponsor in the DHS Club. I am really excited about this opportunity, and I think that you will be too once you have read through our plan.

Hmmm, what kind of plan? It goes on for a bit and ends with the postscript:

Everything starts with a dream. Without a dream, nothing really seems to happen.

27/2/02 [21:38] - from Kristin Irvine:

Thank you for joining the DHS Club. My name is Kristin Irvine and I am one of your upline leaders in the DHS Club.

I have to do what she says.

Michael, please don't hesitate to email Gisle or myself if you have any questions. We'll be happy to help you out.

Aw, bless. Oh, hang on - there's a PS:

Everything starts with a dream. Without a dream, nothing really seems to happen.

Nothing really seems to happen. I do like that.

I am no longer a member of the DHS club.

FIVE POINT FRIDAYZ EVERY FRIDAY MARCH 1ST – THIS FRIDAY IN CELEBRATION OF BLACK OF BLACK HISTORY MONTH THE NYC OFFICIAL HOME OF HIPHOP/ JUNGLE DRUM N BASS / HIPSTEP FIRST 200 LADIES FREE BEFORE MIDNITE KOOL HERC FATHER OF HIPHOP THE ORIGINAL SCHOOLY D ON THE WHEELS MING N FS OM RECORDS/ JUNKYARD / HIPSTEP MOVEMENT I-CUE N MADNESS HIPSTEP MASSIVE RESIDENT MC'S TC IZLAM ZEZO ONE HIPSTEP MASSIVE LADY MC HIPSTEP MASSIVE UK ZULU KING BREAKERS PROMOTIONAL GIVEAWAYS $10* ~FIRST 200 LADIES FREE BEFORE MIDNITE~ 21+ BRING ID 130 MADISON ST BTW PIKE AND MARKET NYC NY UNDER THE MANHATTAN BRIDGE ON THE MANHATTAN SIDE TAKE THE F TRAIN TO EAST BWAY GUESTLIST FIVEPOINTSNYC@AOL.COM 212 560 2688 EACH AND EVERY TUESDAY BRINGS YOU... RED @ ANGEL TICKLE YOUR SENSES WITH THE INTOXICATING BLENDS OF HIP HOP, LATIN, 2STEP, AND DRUM & BASS WHILE YOU SIP YOUR EQUALLY EXOTIC COCKTAILS. COCKTAILS COURTESY OF REMY RED FROM 9:30-10:30PM, BUT THE PARTY GOES UNTIL...? SPECIAL WEEKLY GUESTS GRACE THIS LAID BACK LOUNGE...THIS WEEK: SEOUL (DIRECT DRIVE) IRON LYON (TRUEPRODUCTIONS) ANGEL / 174 ORCHARD STREET FREE! *DON'T FORGET YOUR FRIENDLY BARTENDER ; )* BLACK SPEAR SUNDAYZ @ INDIGO BAR JOIN US ON SUNDAYZ AND GET A TASTE OF THE TRUE UPTOWN VIBE AMSTERDAM BET. 84TH ST. AND 85TH ST NYC NY 1/9 TRAINS TO 86TH ST. WALK 1 BLOCK TO AMSTERDAM SUPER MC DJ TC-IZLAM (HERE COMES THE HIPSTEPPAH!) MIKE GEE (JUNGLE BROTHERS/ ZULU KINGS/ VIOLATORS) HI BIAS (HIPSTEP MASSIVE) $4.99 COVER DRINK SPECIALS ALL NIGHT S.U.N. ARTS PRESENTS: CURATED BY MOUSE/D. BALINGIT AND CHLOÉ DERDERIAN URBAN STREET ART UNDERGROUND ART AND GRAFFITTI EXHIBIT FEATURED ARTISTS: BEAU COL BRUNO CHRISTOPHER CHILLEMI MIKE D HUMID ROSA COLWIN JURJEVICS OPENING/ FEBRUARY 16 DATES: FEBRUARY 16- APRIL 13 7PM-10PM $2 DRINKS BTW 7-10 SPLENDID 132 GREENPOINT AVE. (BTW MANHATTAN AVE, AND FRANKLIN AVE.), BROOKLYN, NY DIRECTIONS: L TO LORIMER STREET, THEN G (TOWARD QUEENS. .

well you get the idea.

BE ORDAINED NOW!

As a member of the CLERGY, you will be authorized to perform the rites and ceremonies of the church!!

WEDDINGS

You can marry relatives, friends, and even earn Part-Time INCOME as couples are searching for a wedding officiate. Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior to conducting the ceremony. And we have thousands of inquiries each year requesting ministers all over the country to conduct weddings - we can place you in our database of available officiates! One pastor works full time as a wedding officiate, so can you!

FUNERALS

People die every day providing a never-ending need for funeral officiates. Whether its for a friend, family member, or community member, you can fulfill a spiritual as well as community service. Don't settle for a minister you don't know!! Most states require that you register your certificate (THAT WE SEND YOU) with the state prior to conducting the ceremony.

BAPTISMS

You can say "WELCOME TO THE WORLD!!!! I AM YOUR MINISTER AND YOUR UNCLE!!" What a special way to welcome a child of God. As millions return to church and desire these official ceremonies, you are there to assist them! This adds to your part or full time income as a minister!

PASTORAL COULSELING

Just clergy have for centuries been advisors, you too enjoy limited privileges as a pastoral counselor assisting individuals in their time of need. Of course, forgiveness of Sins is granted to all who ask in sincerity and willingness to change for the better and you can be the one to guide hurting individuals towards healing, love, and God.

CORRECTIONAL FACILITIES - PRISON MINISTRIES

Since you will be a Certified Minister, you can visit others in need!! Preach the Word of God to those who have strayed from the flock, who are ready to CHANGE their lives - You can play a major part in that decision!

WANT TO START YOUR OWN CHURCH??

After your LEGAL ORDINATION, you may start your own congregation!!

WHAT RELIGION?

Street Bishops is an interdenominational/interfaith association. We have ordained Protestants, Catholics, Jews, and other traditions serving God. By serving people you serve the creator, within your own chosen tradition.

At this point you must be wondering how much the Certificate costs. Right? Well, let's talk about how much the program is worth. Considering the value of becoming a CERTIFIED CLERGY - since most wedding officiates are paid $200-$400 per wedding, I'd say the program is easily worth $100. Wouldn't you agree? However, it won't cost that much. Not even close! Our goal is to make this life changing program affordable so average folks like you can benefit from the advantages of being ordained.

Since I know how much you want to help others, you're going to receive your Minister Certification for only $29.00.

For only $29.00 you will receive a professionally printed 8-inch by 10-inch color certificate and Proof of Minister Certification in your name.

Call Brother Keith @ xxx-xxx-xxxx to submit your application via phone.

---------------- Ordination Information ------------------------ Name of Applicant:

Address:

City, State, Zip Code:

Phone Number:

Email Address:

Denomination (if any):

Preferred Title: (example Rev., Pastor, Fr., Priest, etc)

__________________ *Please allow 8 days to receive your certificate by mail. This includes the time for out committee to meet, approve the ordination, prepare the certificate and postal progress.

If you do not receive your order within 10 days, please send us a fax letting us know of the late arrival. We will then contact you to figure out why you have not received your order.

I was almost tempted to send them the money. My preferred title would have been "Fr" short naturally for "fux0r"

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hey there!
i was just wondering do u know a guy called r*nan fitzgearld? and if so what is his email addy?

thanks,
x

Please don't give them my address, what the fuck, this is scary. Do you know this person?

Insane sexual fact:

An average 115 lb girl's asshole can stretch up to 2" in diameter… THE AVERAGE HORSE'S COCK IS 3 INCHES IN DIAMETER!

YOU DO THE FUCKIN MATH!!!! Even better, see the free photos. You're not gunna believe this shit!

http://www.teensandpets.com/me/

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Am I game?

Ben

"pulic"...spirited?
pies?