Oh God Jesus That's Disgusting

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Clearing up my room to make space for my nice shiny new synthesiser I found an ancient bit of ham down behind the bookcase. I had been wondering what that smell was...
So what's the foulest thing you've found whilst cleaning the house?

― DG, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

New (oof) answers (hmph)...BLEURGH!

― DG, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A Dave Matthews CD. Jesus christ you invite people to your house and they throw it back in your face.

― Ronan, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

that's nothing. When my X-wife left, I was cleaning out all the leftover clutter/personables she left and found a used condom in the bathroom closet and it was definitely not mine! ZOIKS!!

― Hank, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

In my third year at university we moved into a big 5 bedroom house and found lots of awful things. In one room were a great big stack of Mills and Boon novels and several neatly stacked little piles of pubic hair. In my room was a 'sticky' copy of Smash Hits (of all the magazines!) and a pair of red pants and a pillow case in a similar condition. My friend Emma had the worst - a used tampon under the bed.

― Anna, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I told the story about me eating a pizza, drinking too much, vomiting, and waking up with a pepper stuck to my hand. it fought its way through the digestive system damnit and lived to fight another day.

― Ronan, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

mum's cat would leave dead rabbits (with the head chewed off) under furniture.

― Alan Trewartha, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've found a couple of magnificent festerings, but usually they're so dried up by the time of the clean-up that the damage was long done. Yay dessication!

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A friend (it's true I swear despite that less than auspicious start) found a flat mouse underneath their rubbish sofas. The sofas were basically cushions and someone had evidently sat on the poor little thing and it had got flatter and flatter as more and more people sat down.

― Jonnie, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

ever heard the tale of 'pressed rat and warthog'?

― Hank, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

you guys are disgusting. Once I found a little lizard skeleton under my bed. I think my cats waited him out until he just wasted away. Poor thing.

― Samantha, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

BAd Pu**Y!! BAd Pu**Y!! -did I post that or just think it? -oops.

― hank, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The worse thing here is hairballs from our long haired cat sqeaky! Blaaaaah

― Gale Deslongchamps, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i found a styrofoam clown nose yesterday.

― anthony, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

anthony wins!

i haf an encountered a flattened mouse also, under a carpet

― mark s, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

oh oh and once when i wwnt home to stay w.mum and dad, i get there v.late (2 in morning) when they were in bed. i climbed into bed in the guest bedroom, only to notice that one of the cats had been sick next to the pillow under the bed-spread some weeks before (i shd add in my mum and dad's defence that the reason i was there was because she just had been hospitalised, and my dad has parkinson's and has not been able to change bedclothes for at least ten years) (excuses aside this was my least favourite discovery EVAH in a bed i was already in)

― mark s, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

(just had been hospitalised = i was taking her in next day)

― mark s, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I found a dead mouse also. It was under the hot water tank in the airing cupboard. I had been wondering what the foul smell was. It had swollen so much that it was cylindrical.

― Norman Phay, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

what shape do you consider unswollen mice to be norman?

― mark s, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

er mouse-shaped (IP pointy @ front, more rounded at back) this one was the same thickness all the way along. I had to scrape it off the floor w/a shovel. aaah happy memories.

― Norman Phay, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

NO MORE MOUSE STORIES!!

Our cat Bengal woke us up by catching a mouse in the bedroom a couple of weeks ago. I thought that was horrible but now say I'd much rather hear a mouse's frightened squeaks in her jaws then find their bodies either cylindrically or pancake shaped.

yuck.

― Samantha, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have had to drag three dead 'possums and two squirrels from under my house (five separate incidents, not some kind of mass extinction), in varying stages of decomposition. I was alerted to their presence through the smell in my living room, so none of these were pleasant. Despite this, I still haven't "secured the perimeter" on my foundation.

― nickn, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

As recounted elsewhere (I think) I once woke up with a pile of something resembling chewed cardboard lying next to me. In half awake state thought 'hmm odd' only to realise minutes later that cat had thrown up on my bed.

― RickyT, Friday, 25 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

dead mouse trapped under the stove, but above the oven (i.e. where the elements plug into their sockets).

― paul, Saturday, 26 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i found my used tampon resting on my copy of "the history of sexuality". it didn't smell nice.

i also found my camisole down the back of the bed on the same day and it had some suspicious stains on it. and i usually have stacks of cups that are hairy with mould.

― di, Saturday, 26 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i found me one morning...haven't been able to shake the stench since

― goeff, Saturday, 26 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two months pass...

I discovered 2 very green, very fuzzy, and extremely funky-smelling hot dogs in the bottom drawer of my (kid) brother-in-law's chest of drawers. He was around 11 or 12 at the time and liked sneaking plates of food to his room after hours. Guess he forgot to take one back...for several months/years!

― Pyuterman, Saturday, 6 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

who's going to break the news gently to Pyuterman?

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

when i lived with rock & the brother who were THEE 2 scuzziest horrible slobs i ever had the displeasure of sharing rental accommodation with i found a opened can of cat food stored, sensibly enough, in THE HOT WATER CUPBOARD. except it wasnt cat food anymore it was SOLID LIVE MAGGOTS.

― unknown or illegal user, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

dead rabbits (with the head chewed off) under furniture.

randomly finding dead bunnies in the house?! cool!! you uk people lead such strange and interesting lives! next thing you're going to tell me that fox hunting takes place indoors! (seriously i will believe everything you tell me)

― geeta, Sunday, 7 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

four months pass...

I just found part of this evening's banana squished under my bedcovers. They were due for changing today anyway but ew.

― Graham (graham), Wednesday, 4 September 2002 00:36 (twenty-three years ago)

well i'm not the cleanest person in the world but we have slugs in our house. the left us alone in the winter but they are back. they leave their trails everywhere but i can't seem to find them. sneaky little beggars.

― di smith (lucylurex), Wednesday, 4 September 2002 00:44 (twenty-three years ago)

on monday night I was putting the rubbish out and I sort of fell headfirst into the big rubbish bin (I was hanging over the edge of it trying to reach the rubbish bag and my feet came off the ground y'understand) and anyway I put my hand into some gross old gooey rubbish that smelled like rubbish.

"SOLID LIVE MAGGOTS" makes my skin creep.

― rainy, Wednesday, 4 September 2002 04:55 (twenty-three years ago)

di, do what my mom does in the garden and leave a pan of beer out for the slugs. They will slither into the pan, drown and then you'll be able to find them.

― felicity (felicity), Wednesday, 4 September 2002 05:09 (twenty-three years ago)

and they will die happy, singing sluggy drinking songs and talking about the good times

― rainy, Wednesday, 4 September 2002 05:17 (twenty-three years ago)

"on the trail of the lonesome slime-ah"

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 4 September 2002 07:51 (twenty-three years ago)

In my last house we had mystery slug trails too, until one night I came downstairs (barefoot)and the kitchen was absolutley full of copulating slugs, they were everywhere. Obviously our kitchen was the hang out for the good-time slugs of south London.

― Anna, Wednesday, 4 September 2002 08:05 (twenty-three years ago)

We have slugs too. At first I thought my landlord had been wiping his nose on the carpet.

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 4 September 2002 08:55 (twenty-three years ago)

i've lived in two sluggy places. pouring loads of salt around the edges of the room keeps them out, and you feel like you're protecting yourself from demons at the same time.

― angela (angela), Wednesday, 4 September 2002 09:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, that's what we did when we decided the slug bordello that was our kitchen had to close.

Honestly it was a hotbed of slug sin. There were slugs in feathered head-dresses dancing, and slugs drinking absinthe and being letchy, slugs doing little dance of the seven veils strip shows, slugs with cigars in little fedoras, slugs tucking slug money into the slug garter belts of other slugs.

It was either salt, or finding decent God-fearing slugs to come and preach at them.

― Anna, Wednesday, 4 September 2002 09:08 (twenty-three years ago)

I think you're lying, Anna.

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 4 September 2002 09:09 (twenty-three years ago)

The bit about the salt is true.

― Anna, Wednesday, 4 September 2002 09:14 (twenty-three years ago)

But you'd still like to see that Bugsey Malone-esque slug sex fest wouldn't you?

― Anna, Wednesday, 4 September 2002 09:17 (twenty-three years ago)

cigars in little fedoras? that's ridiculous!!

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 4 September 2002 10:02 (twenty-three years ago)

When I got married we had no money for a honeymoon, and stayed at her mum's house on our wedding night. My new wife got up in the night to go to the toilet and stepped on half a sparrow. Our theory was that the cat brought it in and left it outside our bedroom as a wedding gift. Actually, it was among the better presents we got...

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 4 September 2002 16:32 (twenty-three years ago)

When I was in grade six, at the end of the year the cupboard in one of the halls was pulled out to be moved elsewhere, and there was a squashed hamster behind it - the one that had escaped from its cage back in grade four.

― Poppy (poppy), Thursday, 5 September 2002 01:58 (twenty-three years ago)

six months pass...

There's a chest of drawers in the far corner of my room that I hadn't used yet cos the drawers needed cleaning (cos the one I looked in had sweet wrappers and coins in). I decided to clear it out today, but on opening the largest drawer I discovered it containted all sorts of unwashed crockery, some of which looks like it belongs to the other residents. No food really, just residue. Should I wash it up and put it back into kitchen circulation, or just bin it?

― Graham (graham), Saturday, 8 March 2003 16:06 (twenty-three years ago)

I found the glasses that Horton and I drank wine out of stuck on top of one of my wardrobes. (Don't ask how they got there, please...) With all the collected DNA from his saliva, and the crap wine acting like a petrie dish, they were growing LITTLE TINY DIRTY DRONEROCK BOYS in vitro. I would have cried when I flushed them down the toilet except the smell was so overpowering.

― kate (suzy), Saturday, 8 March 2003 16:14 (twenty-three years ago)

residue of WHAT tho graham?

(this is a GREBT topic of conversation for getting to know yr housemates better btw:

G: Was my predecessor a mentalist?
HMs: No! We all liked him! Why?
G: [explains]
HMs: Ew ew ew!! Actually I always thought there was something a bit weird abt him etc etc )

― mark s (mark s), Saturday, 8 March 2003 16:22 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't care to look. Hang on...

One mug: Coffee
One glass: Coca Cola
Dinner plate #1: Noodles
Dinner plate #2: Rice
Dinner Plate #3: There's a EWWW!! big hunk of meat that appears to be growing.

Yeesh.

(Luckily I've just had a back of Worcester Sauce crisps so can't smell a thing)

― Graham (graham), Saturday, 8 March 2003 16:33 (twenty-three years ago)

How's this for weird. Every time I clean the bathroom mirror and look at the finished result, my reaction exactly is: 'Oh God Jesus That's Disgusting.'

The mirror cleans up fine, BTW.

― ChristineSH (chrissie1068), Saturday, 8 March 2003 18:15 (twenty-three years ago)

In my last apartment I found a dead mouse (no signs of trauma) under the dresser. This is about the time that people upstairs had bought rat poison because of rat sightings. They woke up the next day to find that the rats hadn't waited for them to put out the poison, but had torn into the box and helped themselves to doses of death. (I never saw a rat, but perhaps ignorance was bliss.) I figure that my mouse also got a dose of poison, and I'm grateful that it went under the dresser rather than burrowing into one of the drawers to die.

― j.lu (j.lu), Saturday, 8 March 2003 20:56 (twenty-three years ago)

Why would wine glasses smell?

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 9 March 2003 13:58 (twenty-three years ago)

You'll never be a Dirty Dronerock Boy with that attitude Nick.

― Graham (graham), Sunday, 9 March 2003 14:12 (twenty-three years ago)

Not especially disgusting but a bit confusing: on Friday there was a birthday in the office so the birthdayee bought cakes. When I left on Friday night there were three cakes left. When I arrived today two of the cakes had big, obvious bites out of them. Someone had taken aouthful then carefully replaced the cakes in the box. Why? (The third cake appeared unmolested).

― Tim (Tim), Sunday, 9 March 2003 14:50 (twenty-three years ago)

Mouthful, not aouthful. An aouthful might be very disgusting, I suppose, but I don't know what it means.

― Tim (Tim), Sunday, 9 March 2003 14:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Twas not the glasses which smelled. Twas the embryonic slime mold DDB's GROWING in the glasses that smelled. I suppose it wasn't the smell that really made me want to throw up, as the fact that, floating in blood red wine residue, it really looked like an abortion. It was the right shape and everything.

― kate (suzy), Sunday, 9 March 2003 14:58 (twenty-three years ago)

seven years pass...

I made the mistake last night of looking at a photo of a girl who got in a car wreck and her head has basically unfolded itself into a map of the inside of her head. I had to talk someone out of giving them a ride like I said I could, I had no dinner because I lost my appetite, I couldn't sleep, when I did sleep it was horrible nightmares, when I woke up the first thing I thought of was this head.

So today I was reading articles about this photo in the hope of calming down. And the people who had leaked the photos said it had been standard protocol for years to share grisly photos of car accidents because they encourage driver safety. Which...I don't know, the reasoning just didn't sell me.

― 17th Century Catholic Spain (Abbbottt), Monday, 18 October 2010 03:06 (fifteen years ago)

Now I'm intrigued about this photo

― when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's annoying. (Stevie D), Monday, 18 October 2010 03:08 (fifteen years ago)

I'm trying to figure out why this type of reasoning just doesn't seem convincing to me. It's like in tenth grade health class how the teacher showed us all very sad and very disturbing photos of fetal alcohol syndrome to discourage us from drinking, and footage of a live abortion to keep us from getting 'teen pregnant' or having an abortion. What it made me want to do is never have kids because I didn't want something that Cronenberg coming out of me. Same with this photo, it didn't make me think I should drive more safely, it made me think, I should never drive at all or leave my house or think or especially never look at the internet.

― 17th Century Catholic Spain (Abbbottt), Monday, 18 October 2010 03:09 (fifteen years ago)

The reasoning makes sense to me but completely fails to recognize the spectrum of possible reactions to a photo like that. Some people would see it and think "Wow, I don't want that to happen to me!" while as others would think "Oh my god, what was she thinking moments before this happened and what did her mother do when she was informed, (etc. etc.)"

― when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's annoying. (Stevie D), Monday, 18 October 2010 03:10 (fifteen years ago)

The girl was on cocaine and driving at 100 mph, it's a little different than something like "this is why you should come to a full stop before turning right on a red light." It applies to so few driving scenarios that it's not generalizable as a driver safety advice.

― 17th Century Catholic Spain (Abbbottt), Monday, 18 October 2010 03:12 (fifteen years ago)

yeek. my sympathies. there's a photo of a guy whose lower jaw (mouth area, really) was annihilated in a motorcycle accident that appears in one of mattew barney's cremaster films. one of the most awful and psychically disabling things i've ever seen. i think it's that he isn't dead, and you can see, or perhaps just imagine, the awareness & anguish in his eyes. horrid thing. though it's been years and the memory has dulled, i still wish i'd never seen it.

― naked human hands and a foam rubber head (contenderizer), Monday, 18 October 2010 03:14 (fifteen years ago)

cigarette packs over here show pictures of what'll happen if you keep on smoking (skin necrosis, black lung, etc.) doesn't seem to deter anybody though, in the age of saw i-iiivvixiiixx.

― dayo, Monday, 18 October 2010 03:32 (fifteen years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.