Name Your Useless Superpower

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What can you do really well that is almost entirely useless?

Me: I am an excellent speller (who cares if you have spell-check) and I can give birth really fast (even more useless).

― Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Monday, 1 May 2006 20:50 (nineteen years ago)

i'm a really fast typist. *shrug*

― jbr with a z (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 1 May 2006 20:58 (nineteen years ago)

The United States of America!

― Rockist_Scientist (RSLaRue), Monday, 1 May 2006 20:59 (nineteen years ago)

oof (lock thread)

― jbr with a z (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 1 May 2006 20:59 (nineteen years ago)

LOL at "I can give birth really fast".

I was going to make Rockist's joke but I type too slowly.

― Dan (Totally Useless) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 1 May 2006 21:00 (nineteen years ago)

Dan, you would not laugh at that if you were seriously concerned about the interior of your car.

Back to spelling things...

― Sara Robinson-Coolidge (Sara R-C), Monday, 1 May 2006 21:04 (nineteen years ago)

Can name states in alphabetical order. All state capitals. Presidents in order. Ability to name six people born on November 3rd.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 1 May 2006 21:14 (nineteen years ago)

i'm very good at packing things. and i know the us presidents in order too. and i have a mean wrist shot.

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 1 May 2006 21:20 (nineteen years ago)

due to saturating my brain at an impressionable age, i can relate almost anything to a peanuts or pogo strip. i have sometimes actually found myself saying, "it's like one time in pogo when churchy and howland were going to get rich selling dirt..."

needless to say this ability has yet to find its legions of admirers.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Monday, 1 May 2006 21:24 (nineteen years ago)

tell that to boots ruthven

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 1 May 2006 21:26 (nineteen years ago)

i'm very good at packing things.

i am too, and also good at unpacking and finding a place for things. i've moved so many times that i turn into a robot when it's time to get myself organizized.

― jbr with a z (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 1 May 2006 21:28 (nineteen years ago)

Housepacking robots are far from being useless.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 1 May 2006 21:32 (nineteen years ago)

soalar powered bible-verse recitation

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 1 May 2006 21:33 (nineteen years ago)

I kind find incredibly ludicrous things on the internet, like say pictures of incredibly silly raver pants.

― Dan (It's A Gift) Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 1 May 2006 21:34 (nineteen years ago)

i've lost the love for moving, though, even though i'm good at it. :(

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Monday, 1 May 2006 21:34 (nineteen years ago)

Anosmia.

― Abbott (Abbott), Monday, 1 May 2006 22:30 (nineteen years ago)

I can stand barefoot in the snow for minutes at a time.

― slugbuggy (slugbuggy), Monday, 1 May 2006 23:49 (nineteen years ago)

I have a Futurama quote for every occasion. And plenty for inappropriate moments too, why not (DO YOU SEE etc etc)

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 00:08 (nineteen years ago)

My complaints about the weather are second to none.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 00:11 (nineteen years ago)

And I am the supreme empress of road rage. You people trying to inch out of side-streets, don't even fucking TRY IT!!!!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 00:13 (nineteen years ago)

Lastly, my Thread-Killing knows no equal.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 01:02 (nineteen years ago)

i always have very warm hands ? very nice to shake hands with.

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 01:16 (nineteen years ago)

that ? was supposed to be a therefore symbol.

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 01:18 (nineteen years ago)

Ability to name six people born on November 3rd.

Seven if you add me to the list.

My useless superpower has been unused for a while, but I used to be able to outdo anyone on a pair of stilts.

― jim wentworth (wench), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 01:18 (nineteen years ago)

I'm really good at remembering names of contestants in reality-shows.

― Eva van Rein (Gaia1981), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 07:00 (nineteen years ago)

I can splice together bezier curves seamlessly, by specifying the control
points as (x,y) coordinate pairs.
I'm impressed by the Pogo obscurantist above.

― shieldforyoureyes, Tuesday, 2 May 2006 07:23 (nineteen years ago)

I can bring the subject of sex into any conversation.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 08:24 (nineteen years ago)

Occasionally, I get a (often fairly obscure) song in my head out of nowhere, and I know that I'm going to hear it on the radio in the next 24 hours. This is somewhat useful for freaking people out, but I have no other psychic powers.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 08:28 (nineteen years ago)

I can play jingle bells by blowing through my hands.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 08:42 (nineteen years ago)

I can give a very accurate estimate of the number of words on a page of typewritten text.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 08:45 (nineteen years ago)

Read me the first twelve digits of an EAN barcode, and I'll tell you the thirteenth.

― The Vintner's Lipogram (OleM), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 09:03 (nineteen years ago)

I can find the loo in any bar or restaurant within five minutes of getting there.

Wait, that's not useless.

― Alone, Jealous and SSRI'd (kate), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 09:48 (nineteen years ago)

Having to go to the loo in any bar or restaurant within five minutes of getting there is a pretty useless superpower though.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 09:55 (nineteen years ago)

I always have an idea of what the total for my groceries will be, even though I toss things into the cart willy-nilly. Years of shopping.

Also, my scalp tingles right before it rains.

AND I can always stop hiccups just by controlling my breathing.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 10:54 (nineteen years ago)

I can say the alphabet backwards as fast as most people say it forwards.
My right ear produces a lot of wax.
I know the letter/number combinations on a phone keypad by heart.

― dave's good arm (facsimile) (dave225.3), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 11:08 (nineteen years ago)

When I am watching a football match, I can tell you if any player has ever appeared in the colours of Wimbledon FC.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 11:13 (nineteen years ago)

Edgy, psychically purging karaoke performances. I don’t sing; I let my drunk demons fly free. Positive feedback from the audience: You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman and I’d Do Anything For Love But I Won’t Do That. Uncomfortable moments: Those Were The Days. Mixed reactions:

― Believe it or not, it's just Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 12:47 (nineteen years ago)

...Mixed reactions: Du Hast. Not entirely useless. But, like the Greatest American Hero, I do not know whether I will soar or fall flat on my face. This may have something to do with aliens. Or the perm. I don’t know which.

― Fluffy Bear Hearts HTML Errors (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 12:52 (nineteen years ago)

I'm pretty efficient at catching rats without the aid of a trap, just good gloves or a fast foot.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 13:07 (nineteen years ago)

Ability to name six people born on November 3rd.

Seven if you add me to the list.

Ha.

Michael Dukakis
Roseanne Barr
Charles Bronson
Dennis Miller
Ken Berry
Jim Wentworth
Pleasant Plains

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 14:02 (nineteen years ago)

I can detect even the faintest smell of weed in a public place before anybody else.

― Laura H. (laurah), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 14:08 (nineteen years ago)

That might be a handy superpower if you're short on your own, and believe in brother/sisterhood of all puffers.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 14:10 (nineteen years ago)

I heart this thread. It's been a joke of mine for a long time. Friend: "I always have [this annoying problem with my body]." Me: "You don't understand... that's your superpower."

― Man Man (kenan), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 14:15 (nineteen years ago)

I'm probably above-average at finding thread connections.

― Chairman Doinel (Charles McCain), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 14:21 (nineteen years ago)

I fall asleep easily and without worry.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 14:22 (nineteen years ago)

not astounding but certainly useless:

i can pour liquid to precise measurements while cooking without consulting a measuring cup.

i can tell anybodys jeans size (in inches) just by looking at them.

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 16:26 (nineteen years ago)

moodswings faster than the speed of light.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 16:31 (nineteen years ago)

I can stand on a moving bike like a surfboard.

I can spin Canadian quarters in such a way that American vending machines acccept them.

0.25 CAD Canada Dollars = 0.225867 USD United States Dollars

Canadians: invest in me now!

― JW (ex machina), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 16:32 (nineteen years ago)

seven years pass...

I can unbutton a shirt two buttons at once, using both hands.

― Sir Lord Baltimora (Myonga Vön Bontee), Tuesday, 23 July 2013 06:50 (eleven years ago)

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